Broken up with Again...
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He sounds like an @&&0
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So I'd started dating this great guy. Before I thought I'd never be in the same league as him in order to go out with such a good lucking guy that was also smart and funny and willing for adventure. We met through a dating site and I was upfront when he asked me about my weight. I told him I was overweight but had already lost a good chunk of weight (I think i was around 23 lbs lost at the time). Well, he and I did meet up and went out on two different dates and since then my weight loss has grown and I'm now sitting at a36 lbs lost, almost 37.
Both of our dates involved exercise, be it swimming, biking, walking, or running. All were things I did with him but now he sent me an email saying that because I wasn't fit things had to end but to get in contact with him if I got down to my goal weight because other than that he says I fit his criteria but he doesn't want to be seen with someone as out of shape as I am. This hurts and was definitely a major downer for me.
dude, I would forget about him. he is not worth your time if he doesn't like you for who you are now!! He is shallow and a jerk!!0 -
What a complete jerk. Like others have said, you dodged a bullet you don't want to be with someone like that. Try not to let it get you down. You've done an awesome job.0
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What an *kitten* hat. DO NOT get back in touch with him when you get to goal. It's one thing to not be attracted to someone larger (everyone has their tastes, whatever) but to say you don't want to be seen in public with someone? WHAT A DOUCHE. Pardon my French. Move on, lady. Do this for you, and screw that guy. Not literally.
^^^^THIS!!!! WHAT AN A-HOLE!!! MOVE ON!!!! ^^^^
Don't let yourself get hung up on this for ONE SECOND!!! OMG ....think to yourself...if you guys had a daughter....is THIS the type of father you would want her to have??? Would he tell his little daughter..."I can't be seen with you because you are chubby and don't meet my specs for a 'perfect daughter'. I KNOW it's not exactly the same thing but.... I wanted to make you think....
WE THINK YOU ARE A STRONG, INDEPENDENT, WONDERFUL WOMAN and it's his loss ...what an idiot!!!
Send us his cell number and we'll all text him at the same time LOL (((((JUST KIDDING about the cell)))))0 -
HI, What a Jerk!!! You will be better off without him. If he is only judging you by your weight then he doesn't know the first thing about quality relationships. And, don't believe him anyway, When a guy breaks up they usually say its the girls fault, but its all in HIM, not YOU.0
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truth often hurts....one thing u can say for him is that he's honest with u and himself about what he wants and expects from someone who wants to be with him. can't knock him for that...i call that quality in the making of a truly good man.
OP: Don't date him^^ either.
yeah agreed with above. there are so many heartless people out there. you do this for you and prove everyone wrong. i'd send him a picture and say "your loss...actually no mine.. and i mean weight loss" and when you take the picture put a big ol "number one sign" w/ a huge smile on your face. i often too had problems with this growing up. no one wanted to date the "heavier girl" i was "great friend" material... guys are losers. and good thing you saw that in him now vs. down the road. your better off and will find someone who actually appreciates you. good luck on your journey and do NOT give up. not now not EVER!0 -
So what would the jerk do if you guys hit it off and you got pregnant later down the road? Be embarrassed and leave you cause your fat? Women have a lot more to deal with on that part and its not fair to be judged like that!0
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Reminds me of the quote- "If he can't handle you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best."
You're better off girl. Don't let this derail you from any of you goals.
LOVE THIS!
And DO get in contact with him once you're at your goal, just to rub it in his face!!
(Seriously, don't. This guy is a total waste of time.)
^^^^Exactly! Show him what he missed out on! Although He was honest with you , he is till obviously a man of little character to be soooo shallow.0 -
Wow, thanks everyone for all the support. It mostly hit so bad because he and I were suppose to go out together this Saturday to a Japanese Tea Ceremony together at a Tea House that only opens it's doors one weekend a month together. I really want to go to the Tea Ceremony still but I think I'll go with the kids I nanny for on Sunday instead.
I'm glad i dodged a bullet though I wish he'd been honest and told me before we started that he wasn't interested in a date.0 -
OMG! What a LOSER! Good riddance to bad rubbish!!!0
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Better yet, when you do hit your goal weight, send him photos of you and your NEW boyfriend.
^^^^^^^THIS TOTALLY!!!!!!^^^^^^^^^^
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: 0 -
WHAT AN A**HOLE!
Forget about him. He's not worth your time. Ugh.0 -
Seriously!! What a tool! He doesn't deserve a girl like you to begin with. Get in touch with him when you've met your goal weight? Yea no! There is a better guy out there for you. You deserve happiness not a douche bag!0
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Wow, I agree with everyone, you're better off without him. People can be so shallow. You want to be with someone who will care about you no matter what. There's so many things that can happen to us: Lose an arm, get disfigured in an accident, chronic illness, etc....so many things we cannot control.
He's clearly let you know his affection for you is conditional. What an assh*le.0 -
FUK HIM!
Don't let him discourage you. Your doing great. Keep up the great work. I can see a big difference in your profile picture. :flowerforyou:0 -
You are in a league far above his! Remember that, this is about his insecurities not your fitness level.0
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EXACTLTY!!!!he did you a favor, if he is that shallow just think of how terrible things would be in the long run.0 -
"Fit his criteria?" ..........................................
........................................
........................................ wtf?
Also, fyi, you are adorable and your hair is even more adorable. #justsoyouknow
Also that guy thinks he's God's gift to women, and therefore he will be single for a very long time. :P
You're much too cute to have to deal with those kinds of idiots.0 -
from the other responses, I'll probably get a serious tongue lashing but:
truth often hurts....one thing u can say for him is that he's honest with u and himself about what he wants and expects from someone who wants to be with him. can't knock him for that...i call that quality in the making of a truly good man. u have expectations of what u desire in a man/mate, y can't he w/o being bashed for a normal human tendency?
u a grown woman...u've three choices: get healthy n contact him n c where this "thing" goes....or get healthy n press on, finding someone new who may or may not be honest n true to either himself or u of his expectations n desires.....or rock it solo, where the only one's expectations u have to meet r ur own.
There was no honesty on his part or truth. His concern is of what others may think since he stated he didn't want to be seen with her. That is someone who isn't honest with themselves so he placed his own issues onto her. Not sure how that is a good quality tossing someone under the bus because you're scared of what others may think. Its a coward and insecurity quality.0 -
What a d!ck!
Wanna go key his car?!0 -
Seriously...he did you a favor. Don't bother calling him when you do reach your weight loss goal. What's he going to do, dump you every time you slip and gain a little weight? Better to find someone who can love you at any stage on your journey.0
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from the other responses, I'll probably get a serious tongue lashing but:
truth often hurts....one thing u can say for him is that he's honest with u and himself about what he wants and expects from someone who wants to be with him. can't knock him for that...i call that quality in the making of a truly good man. u have expectations of what u desire in a man/mate, y can't he w/o being bashed for a normal human tendency?
u a grown woman...u've three choices: get healthy n contact him n c where this "thing" goes....or get healthy n press on, finding someone new who may or may not be honest n true to either himself or u of his expectations n desires.....or rock it solo, where the only one's expectations u have to meet r ur own.
I sort of agree.
He was honest. ---- he just didnt stop calling or ignore you. Could he have put it a bit better - yes, but guys are usually very "matter of fact" when it comes to issues.
I also agree you are better off with out him, and just keep pushing on!! God places people in our life for different reasons - Good Luck
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Holy crap, he SAID that? :noway: :explode: :grumble:
Girl, you dodged a bullet then.
Please understand that none of what he said has anything to do with you. It really doesn't. He is so incredibly insecure that he is looking for an accessory, not a relationship and certainly not a partner. And I can tell you from personal experience (unfortunately) that no matter what you weigh, wear, do with your hair, etc.--that sort of man will always find fault with your appearance and do his best to drag you down to his own personal level of hell.
No wonder he is single. :sick:
I SOOOO agree with this. As painful as it is, it's a blessing in diguise!0 -
Seriously...
He probably:
Has gas all the time
Pats himself on the back every morning
Spends ALL his money on clothes and gym fees
Has a car he can't afford
Dates more than one woman at a time
Doesn't change the sheets on his bed often enough
Uses a towel more than 2 times
Eats off other peoples plates
He's yucky...let him go! :laugh:0 -
How angering! *HUG* You are far too beautiful for a loser like him.0
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Kick him to the curb and never look back.0
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Lol No I don't believe in doing violence against someone just for being mean to me.
I'm not going to let it stop me. I'm going to continue to do my best.0 -
Okay... None of us are perfect.. what league is he in. I am sure if you were to look at him you would start to see his imperfections.
I would recommend you learn from this. you were honest, he liked you but he has issues that he defined for you. "listen to what he said not what you want to hear" and above all he is not worth the salt in your tears or sweat. If he was, he would be helping you get to your "goal " and it would be a fun journey together... Good Luck.. You are Worth More! check out baggagereclaim its a great site for re-centering your dating thoughts0 -
from the other responses, I'll probably get a serious tongue lashing but:
truth often hurts....one thing u can say for him is that he's honest with u and himself about what he wants and expects from someone who wants to be with him. can't knock him for that...i call that quality in the making of a truly good man. u have expectations of what u desire in a man/mate, y can't he w/o being bashed for a normal human tendency?
u a grown woman...u've three choices: get healthy n contact him n c where this "thing" goes....or get healthy n press on, finding someone new who may or may not be honest n true to either himself or u of his expectations n desires.....or rock it solo, where the only one's expectations u have to meet r ur own.
Yeah you'll get a serious tongue lashing for not reading the whole OP.
The man said he doesn't want to be seen in public with her.
If that's not kicking you while you're down, then I don't know what is.never judged him to be a good man....still honesty, though far from tactfully displayed, is a quality worth noting. granted he lacks tact in all respects but I've turned down brothers solely on their not meeting my height requirements. no better I know, but what's worst my honesty or my stringing them along because I can when I know they don't stand a chance?
There's honesty and there's mean, he was mean.
He didn't have to go that far as to tell her that he doesn't want to be seen in public with her because of her size.
Turning someone down because they're short is dumb.
How do you know someone doesn't stand a chance, if you don't give them a chance?0 -
Reminds me of the quote- "If he can't handle you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best."
You're better off girl. Don't let this derail you from any of you goals.
^^Agree. I know this really hurts you and hurts me to read that there are such a--holes out there that are arrogant enough to say something like that. He doesn't deserve you at all whether you are at your goal weight or not. You might not feel it now but you are soooo better off with that guy. There is someone so much better for you, don't give up.
I am seeing a man that if very fit and he has never said anything at all like that so there are good men out there - He's just not one of them.0
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