Partner hates me using MFP :(
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scpdxb
Posts: 17 Member
My partner and I have just had a huge row over me using MFP - he says it is making me obsessive and doesn't understand why I can't just eat healthily and exercise like 'normal people'. I log everything, down to a mint or cup of coffee, and he thinks it is crazy. I love MFP, it helps me stay on track and I know that without it I would over eat because I wouldn't be so conscious, but now I am thinking maybe I should stop using it and see how I go just estimating calories and exercise - or as he suggests stop thinking about it and just 'exercise and stay away from burgers' - what do you guys think? Anyone ever feel like logging everything is a bit obsessive?
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Replies
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Tell him to mind his own business!!0
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So strange that people get upset about these things. It isn't just the fact of logging, you are surrounded by alot of people on here struggling with the same things as you and so many people here to support you in your journey, how can that be a bad thing? lol I have never been as successful as I am now and I know alot of that has to do with having the support of this site.
I know when you start logging, you can be a little fanatical, I think alot of people are because you want to make sure you account for every calorie to ensure you are doing what you can to get to your goals. After a while, you will find you may tone down a bit. I used to make sure I logged everything right after I eat, and now i just try and make sure I get it all in, even if it is a day or so later. The accounability you place on yourself to do these things helps alot. Before I started MFP and logging on here, I was meticulous about logging, made my own log journals and wrote every little thing down. Did it for four months straight and started to struggle and I stopped logging and I fell off track. MFP got me back on track and back to logging all the time, but this time I'm not as anal about it. You will find an inbetween eventually. And like I said, I love this site more for the community then the logging. I love that I have friends that have some of the same medical issues and know my struggles and are here to support me, just as I am for them.
When you have had to lose weight on your own, you don't realize how much support actually makes a difference. And this support is free! Don't let your partner get you down, they may just feel left out and want more attention from you, so maybe they just need something to blame it on. Try explaining why it is so important for you to be on here and hopefully they will come around. You are doing this for you, to live healthy and to be that way for you AND your partner and in the end I am sure they will appreciate the new healthy you
Good luck and hang in there0 -
Why should your partner have anything to say in what you do? He doesn't control your life. Just because he doesn't like something you do doesn't mean it's not the right thing for you to do. Tell him to build a bridge and get over it. He doesn't run your life, only you do.0
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Don't in take it to heart, not everyone understands and normally because they loose weight easy the thing is we are not all the same. You can note down what you eat in a book and then every couple of says update the web site to keep track.0
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It CAN appear to be obsessive , especially in the beginning. Can't you just make a joke of it, treat it lightly?0
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I think he might be a little jealous because here you are logging all your food to make sure you stay fit and make healthy choice, while he just eats without making sure if he is making the right choices or He might be annoyed also that every time you eat, you have to log in the food. I know MFP helped me alot, I was always struggling to balance my foods, without MFP I would be over my calories everyday. If you want, you can log in once daily, that's what I do. I decide to think of all the food I am going to eat the day before and log them in and just remember, the next day how much you put in for each food. If you cant do it the day before, log in before you sleep the same day and if you think you will forget what you wrote, make a note in your cell phone or if you are in the kitchen, write it on a sticky pad. Hope this helps!0
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I think HE is the obsessive one almost telling you what you can and cant do! If it works for you and is making you healthier then he should praise the site! Ignore him, Im sure he doesnt seek your approve to see his friends, go out for a drink, or watch his favourite tv show!!!0
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Sounds like he hates the fact that your attention is not on him but on yourself and on logging your foods. He presumably (I could be wrong) doesn't know this site, and why you find it so helpful. Show him!
I agree with what Melanie says: try to make a little joke when you log your food / exercise, ask him to come join you at the computer and show him the site. Then maybe ask him to look up the foods for you, so he can see himself what information you're getting - but do all this with a smile and a twinkle in your eyes.
If he tries to start an argument again, try asking him (CALMLY!) why he won't support you.
Best of luck!0 -
Anyone ever feel like logging everything is a bit obsessive?
No, that is the name of the game, what you don't log you can't follow - but if you interupt life to log everything - dinner conversation, etc... it is obsessive and intrusive. It is the intrusive part that is bothersome.
You can also have moments or meals that you decide not to log. If your BF inviting you to dinner and you turn that down because of MFP logging? That isn't a good thing.
One can log a little more privately, too.0 -
What you'll find is that the more you get used to knowing how many cals are in each thing, the less meticulous you'll become in logging because you'll be quite good at estimating how much you've had.0
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Is your partner closer to their desired weight than you? Sometimes people who don't need to lose much can't accept how difficult it is when you do.0
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Perhaps he is feeling a bit left out or ignored as you are using your phone much more than usual when you're together? I know I am, and this is a good wake up call that I need to keep it in check. I'm enjoying doing it because it appeals to my OCD side...but I know it drives me crazy when my hubby is always on his phone...especially at meal times!!!
How about setting aside time when you are alone to log, either a couple times a day or once a day?0 -
Some days I do feel it is obsessive and taking over my life but like you I KNOW it is helping me. Perhaps you should do like I do now and log in the morning all your planned meals then in the evening add any extras you have. I do this and it works as I stick to the meals and always leave some extra calories for little treats along the way and if I don't use them then I am under my calories for the day. Mine complains occasionally too but then he will sit at his computer for hours watching golf!!!0
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I log everything during the week, but take some logging breaks most weekends - sort of helps with not looking obsessive when you are spending time with other people......also just check things like sitting at the table logging etc.....
Something that also worked for me was to spend some time in the morning pre-planning my days - that way I was not logging all the time.....I could then just adjust things as I went along.....
So find ways to make it part of our lifestyle change without it interfering / affecting your interaction with other people....0 -
a lot of my friends have looked at me crazy saying i'm obsessive over what i eat... and having to log it...
but i'm the one losing weight and making myself the best person i can be. not them.
I understand it can be crazy at times...
calculate in ur head, add up the calories
log them later when you can sneak away for a bit lol
ur getting your way, and theyre getting theirs...
sneaky but necessary0 -
Perhaps he is feeling a bit left out or ignored as you are using your phone much more than usual when you're together? I know I am, and this is a good wake up call that I need to keep it in check. I'm enjoying doing it because it appeals to my OCD side...but I know it drives me crazy when my hubby is always on his phone...especially at meal times!!!
How about setting aside time when you are alone to log, either a couple times a day or once a day?
I agree with this...it's new and different and takes up extra time. show him all around the site then tell him how much you feel it helps you. He'll get used to it.
Don't let him stop you doing this if you like it- or anything else for that matter.0 -
What concerns me is your statement, "now I am thinking maybe I should stop using it".
Why would you stop doing something that is good for you because your partner disapproves?0 -
MFP is an education tool. The 'obsessive' logging eases off and will be replaced by 'normal people' healthy eating and exercise once you become more innately aware of the values of what you're eating. Hubby just needs to understand that the obsessive logging is just a part of the education process to living a overall long term healthy lifestyle.0
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Had to laugh at this. My wife immediately signed up for MFP when she saw me using it and does it alongside me. If anything she's even more obsessive about it than I am even though she has no weight to lose imo.
Sounds like you've just managed to find a real loser. I can't see myself ever having a reaction other than being 100% supportive0 -
There's nothing wrong with being obsessive if it's to make a positive change in your life! Plus, using MFP hardly makes you obsessive, you're just making full use of that the site is here for. You're supposed to track all that stuff, that's what it's there for. People lose weight doing this. This site has changed the lives of a lot of people. It's a shame that he can't appreciate that.
Most importantly, if MFP is working for you, please don't stop using it!0
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