need relationship advice :/

Very funny almarsala!

You talk about being disrespected, but you've made your boyfriend feel so uncomfortable for something that is not so major in the grand scheme of things.

I'm starting to hope you're a whiny troll.

My advice is you are too young to settle.

yes he says that i complain too much and he doesn't want to be around me but the thing is when i "complain" its usually just the basics of living together like do the dishes tonight, clean up after yourself in the bathroom, etc and he just shuts down and doesn't communicate with me at all. he just gets angry and tells me to shut up and that makes me do the opposite of shut up.

^^^ The porn is not the issue. This is the issue. If he is telling you he doesn't want to be around you, isn't sexually active with you and seeks porn instead, it sounds like your decision is already made for you. Why would you want to stay? Just sayin'

Porn is a hard no for me. I believe it gets men in the wrong mindset. Its warps their mind and gets them confused about sex. No sex isn't all the time. No its not perfect ( trust me! ) and not every women wants you. Sex should be about love. And just because its with love doesn't mean boring. Its actually better!! So i say no porn. I would leave because you made your boundaries known up front. He LIED and refuses to live up to your standards. I don't believe you should settle. Sorry for the ppl who are pro-porn but its a no for me.

My bf and I have been together for 2.5 years and moved in together earlier this year. I just turned 24 and he will be 24 next year... my problem is that he has lied to me several times about his porn use.. of course i found this after snooping my mistake the first time. after i found it we talked about it and i told him i wasn't comfortable with it and if he wanted to we could watch it together. he said he wouldn't do it again and i believed him. i caught him again after finding it in his recycle bin on his computer. i told him again that i couldn't believe he lied to me and he knew how i felt about it. of course after that i really doubted him and didn't believe him when he said he didn't and that he would tell me if he did. since then he was always very secretive with his phone and his computer and that made me even more suspicious because if he lied to me once he can lie again. recently he left his phone behind and curious i checked and bam for the past week of history it was videos and videos of other chicks, chubby, petite, and all other kinds. i was FURIOUS because a few days before i found it i had asked him to just tell me the truth if he has and he said i was crazy and no he hasnt. i told him that lying about it is just going to make it worse and of course he lied. that day i talked to him about it and he said he was tired of me going through his things and blah blah blah.. i get it snooping is bad but at the same time if he looked at my things he wouldn't find anything he needed to worry about. the worst part is that we barely are physical anymore. he says it's because i complain a lot and whatever.. but why can't he just communicate with me? apparently i communicate too much and he communicates way too little. i want to be with him but the thought of him putting me through this again the lying and the betrayal is just driving me crazy. it's been a month since then and things were okay but i just don't know what to do. he says he can really change this time and that hes sorry but its the same story as before!!! i dont know what to do

his excuse is i complain too much and asks what would be worse if i cheated on you or looked at porn? like i have to choose one?? neither of those is okay and neither is lying about it. i refuse to believe that i have to pick one of those with any guy because if that's the case i might as well be lesbian. ugh

i do want to be with him and work it out but i just don't know how.. any advice is appreciated

As someone who is majoring in addiction studies let me be the first to say...what he has SEEMS to be an addiction. Lying, hiding it, not caring about the consequences of these mentioned actions..these are all tell tale signs of an addiciton. Whether he feels it is wrong or not because he isnt cheating, to some cheating is more then just physical. It can be mental, emotional..etc etc. The fact you have confronted him, explained how you felt about the situation, offerend him a second, third, fourth chance and he has continued to feed you fairytales, is showing that he has no desire to stop. He is feeling guilty about his deceptions therefore is finding comfort in placing the blame on you for "snooping" and "complaining". If he has time to look at porn, but not be intimate with you, there are underlying issues you two may need to address. Am I a certified doctor? No, but again, addictions are my main focus in my studies.

You have to put your foot down and let him know that you are NOT ok with it. If he cannot compromise by either watching with you as you mentioned you didnt mind, or not doing it at all, he needs to know there will be reprecussions. He might not like the idea that you gave him a choice, but are you really ok with living with someone who is making you uncomfortable because his "needs and wants" are more important then respecting a simple wish of yours?

You are both young. You WILL have time to find someone who will understand your feelings toward porn. I promise you, you're not the only person who has ever felt that way, man or woman. But you need to realize that by putting your own comfortability aside, you are slowly allowing him to continue his behavior. You are becoming the enabler by not setting a ground rule and consequence, and then not following up on that consequence. If he knows you will forgive him each time, that's what he will tell you to ge you to plainly..shut up. Sorry, but it's true. The moment you stop letting him walk all over you, he will either get his **** together, or will walk away from you. And if he does the latter, then hunny he was never worth the trouble in the first place.

I dont think you are going to particularly like my advice, but here goes. I think you should end it with him , move out and not be living in sin. It is a sin against God to be having sex outside of marriage. I dd it too at your age and hw I wish I could go back and change that now that I am more concerned about pleasing to God. He surely does not sound like husband or father material so in my opinion I would not waste my time. You need to get out of this and rethink your priorities in life . If you want to truly be happy in the future you need to take some soul searching time and seek Gods will for your life. He created you for himself - to know him ,to love him and to serve him . He loves you more than you can imagine and you are precious to him. Please take no art in the disgusting evil acts of pornogrphy. It has ruined many,many lives and marriages. Find a Godly man to be with ,one that will honor you and love you in the way you are made to be treasured! He'll also make a good father if you ever blessed with children. Gd bless you ! Sorry for sounding so motherly - but ive been where u are at and I wished someone ad said this to me!! Dee