Partner hates me using MFP :(

My hubby doesn't have an issue with the logging, it's the keeping up with my pals that irritates him, but he's good about it so we manage to compromise.

My partner and I have just had a huge row over me using MFP - he says it is making me obsessive and doesn't understand why I can't just eat healthily and exercise like 'normal people'. I log everything, down to a mint or cup of coffee, and he thinks it is crazy. I love MFP, it helps me stay on track and I know that without it I would over eat because I wouldn't be so conscious, but now I am thinking maybe I should stop using it and see how I go just estimating calories and exercise - or as he suggests stop thinking about it and just 'exercise and stay away from burgers' - what do you guys think? Anyone ever feel like logging everything is a bit obsessive?

do what you want! I suggest keeping track still, exspecialliy if you think you'll over eat without it... when I first started tracking my food I was VERY obsessesive about it... it actually got embarrassing! but I've slowly been able to calm myself down about it, ha. I think that you actually learn from tracking your food... and after awhile you won't be so " obsessive" about it... keep doing your thaaang!

Welcome to Earth.

People think I'm nuts.

People tell me I'm doing it the wrong way. (I've heard as much as "just stop eating carbs" to "if you visualize yourself skinny it will happen" to "drink lots of really cold water because it's a negative calorie food and you'll be fine". SIGH)

People think I'm obsessive. (And I'm so not as far as the MFP community would be concerned!)

When it comes to bike riding, I was criticized and called ridiculous this week because I biked home from my office (40 miles) with some rain and 18 mph winds.

Was I cold? Yes. Did it suck taking 3 hours to get home? Yes. Was I thrilled that it was 8 when I walked in the door and I kissed my kids goodnight and ate my dinner alone? No.

Was I thrilled because I DID IT? Heck yes!

The best lesson I learned since my husband and I joined MFP was that I need to do what I want to do because I want to do it or I want those results...not for anyone else. Other people's goals don't have to be my goals. And even if my husband would prefer one body type, I need to aim for the lifestyle that works for me - and being ripped and chiseled is not the lifestyle I want.

You are3 doing this for you and not for your partner. In the first few days, weeks, you are on it more than usual because you might be tracking foods, pre-planning your meals for the day and trying to figure it out. I made my husband an account and added him to my friends list, he has never logged in lol but maybe one day he will. My new healthy eating is reflected in the household and we are all eating better him included. I am waiting for the day he says he wants to start exercising with me Get him involved, he will see better the benefits of it and why you are doing it. I guess make him feel a part of it. If he still has issues.... a swift kick in the ging-gang goolies should sort it out.... ok that was a joke :P Violence is not the answer!

If by normal he means the millions of us that are doing the same as you over numerous of these type of sites then congratulations, youve arrived.

What you'll find is that the more you get used to knowing how many cals are in each thing, the less meticulous you'll become in logging because you'll be quite good at estimating how much you've had.

I don't agree with this. I think you should always weight rather than estimate

Well, there's always that.

But as you get better at understanding how much is in X amount, then meticulous logging isn't required as much.

For instance:

If you know that 1 scoop of protein powder is 30g - would you really bother to weigh it? Same goes for pasta etc. Measuring implements are fantastic tools which then negates the need to weigh absolutely everything.

I have spaghetti measurers, various scoops of different sizes, and a measuring jug. Don't very often have to break out the scales anymore

Plus... After a while you do get much better at knowing how much is in X amount by looking at it.

In fact, it's a great game - pick something you're about to cook up, look at it, try to work out how heavy it is.

The more you do it, the closer and more accurate you'll become after a while

All a learning process!

Oooohhhhh, change of thread, love it. I weigh nothing, I just know. A gram or two here and there doesn't factor in. I do though measure.

I must admit, I have noticed that my partner who seemed very interested in my MFP food logging at the beginning.. has become 'quieter' when I talk to him about it. :flowerforyou:

I have started to NOT keep chattering on about foods, and nutrients and calories etc etc.. AND ... as I have the app on my phone, I take it with me the bathroom.. and log my food while I am in there. :laugh:

I dont log food as soon as we have eaten (like I did at the start) ... sitting at the dinner table logging :laugh: .. Nooo.. not anymore.. that IS rather unsociable.. haha

I try to keep a mental log until I am next on my own.

If I were the man in the situation, I would be easily subdued if my female companion said, " It makes me feel better about myself and when I feel better about myself I am more likely to give BJ"s." I would then shut right up about it.

I agree, it can be a little obsessive, but when you make up your mind to change your life, you need to learn how to do it and track your progress. My husband has been using it and I didn't feel it was necessary. Now that I'm on board, I've had a change of heart. Using MFP helps me with portion control and planning. Once it becomes routine, counting calories and recording may not be needed.

I've started using MFP a couple of months ago, and I realized that I was addicted so far. After 1 month logging everything like crazy, I decided to stop it and try to follow my willing to eat by myself. The results were that I've started losing weight. Now I can use MFP again, without feeling so addicted because I'm confident that I can do it. I can use MFP like a spreadsheet to help me controlling what I ate, without losing my mind trying to keep on track of small things.

And please ignore the people saying he is jealous or a douche or giving you a right to be selfish.

If you in a relationship and anything your doing is bothering your partner don't just dismiss it. Logging food and stressing about food can be very obsessive and stressful for both parties. Your always crunching numbers and on your phone or the computer day in and day out and the other person has experience that with you anytime food becomes an issue.

Like the other person that had a meltdown at her anniversary dinner because the menu at the restaurant changed. I'm sure that distressed her husband watching her have that reaction over food as it did her.

You have to learn to keep track but also be flexible. So if your being on MFP is taking time away from your partner or distressing them in terms of enjoying time with you, find a way to balance both out.

dear scpdxb,
food for thought for you in hopes that you can reconcile some of the guilty feelings you're having. would your partner rather you track, or would your partner rather see you have a heart attack. would your partner rather you track, or would your partner rather you see you with high blood pressure. the list goes on and on.

i used to work for weight watchers (5 years) and there are about a dozen reasons why those we love have this type of reaction. bottom line is what do you think is good and healthy in YOUR life. i've done this food and exercise game all my life (i'm 40), and for me personally i track everything as well. when i stop paying attention, i stop tracking, when i stop tracking, i feel uncomfortable and unhappy with the way i feel, move, look, etc. if you need to track. then track. i saw one smart gal on here saying she does take some weekend breaks....that's very healthy and i do that too.

it's hard to do it, but we have to differentiate someone else's guilt vs. our own, and you don't own this. you're not doing anything wrong. there are WAY worse things that you could be doing. what you're doing is helping yourself be healthy, happy, and feeling good. my wish for you is that your partner see the good intent behind what you're doing and support you on your journey.

best of luck

Hi I do the same. I am constantly on MFP..I think it is addicting! LOL And yes my husband hates it! He is a skinny minny with a metabolism that does not stop. He has no ideal how hard it is to have to loose even a lb never mind watch what you are eating, exercise and see the scale stay the same or even go up a bit. I try to stay away from the MFP when he is around (as much as possible anyway) and log in when he is outside or gone out...no arguments, no guilt!

MFP is an education tool. The 'obsessive' logging eases off and will be replaced by 'normal people' healthy eating and exercise once you become more innately aware of the values of what you're eating. Hubby just needs to understand that the obsessive logging is just a part of the education process to living a overall long term healthy lifestyle.

Exactly this. And to learn, you have to read and think about it and study it and calculate it. Ignorance of what to eat, how much to eat, what exercise to get and how much we need every day is a large part of either being overweight or being unable to maintain a healthy weight.