Partner hates me using MFP :(
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I think you should do what works best for you. He really should be more supportive of you trying to do something healthy for yourself. Not everyone works at something the same way. If this way works best for you, then I say stick to it.0
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My partner and I have just had a huge row over me using MFP - he says it is making me obsessive and doesn't understand why I can't just eat healthily and exercise like 'normal people'. I log everything, down to a mint or cup of coffee, and he thinks it is crazy. I love MFP, it helps me stay on track and I know that without it I would over eat because I wouldn't be so conscious, but now I am thinking maybe I should stop using it and see how I go just estimating calories and exercise - or as he suggests stop thinking about it and just 'exercise and stay away from burgers' - what do you guys think? Anyone ever feel like logging everything is a bit obsessive?
Hubby used to be the same way, but after seeing my success he asked me to log for him too and he is now losing.
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Are you being obsessive? Like when walking into a restaurant do you exclaim "My gosh this salad is XXX calories! I can't believe you like such and unhealthy restaurant! :noway: "
I don't think he's a loser like a few other posters have commented. Maybe your behavior has been a bit obsessive though and that's something you may be able to take into consideration.0 -
I keeps you accountable. Best thing ever for me but not just because I can keep track of my calories but ensure I have a well balanced meal plan instead of the lopsided one other "diets" seem to lure you into. I am a little obsessed also with tracking almost everything that goes in my mouth (maybe not a breath mint but it works for me and if it does for you then don't stop. 0
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No PLEASE don't stop, logging it will make you see where your at and where your going...If you stop you will over-eat and fall off the wagon like I did. Don't make that mistake he should be motivating you and even if he has no weight problem he healthly meal as well to stay healthy! :happy: for you keep up the great job...0
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Perhaps he is feeling a bit left out or ignored as you are using your phone much more than usual when you're together? I know I am, and this is a good wake up call that I need to keep it in check. I'm enjoying doing it because it appeals to my OCD side...but I know it drives me crazy when my hubby is always on his phone...especially at meal times!!!
How about setting aside time when you are alone to log, either a couple times a day or once a day?
I agree with this...it's new and different and takes up extra time. show him all around the site then tell him how much you feel it helps you. He'll get used to it.
Don't let him stop you doing this if you like it- or anything else for that matter.
^^^totally this! My husband has been The most supportive partners I could have ever asked for..even at 370 pounds, he hated what it did to my personality, being that large and depressed, but, he loved me through it. Through every journey point, every milestone, every NSV he has rejoiced with me.
That said...he has made comments about how much I have been on my phone. For me, MFP has been an wonderful motivational tool. I was introduced to a great community of people who were going exactly where I wanted to go, who are where I used to be, or who had reached the destination point I want so badly to be at! For my hubby, I think he just feels left out sometimes. So, I make it a point to do what should be obvious...I give him all my attention when he comes home from work, then after dinner, I catch up...when he's playing with Facebook on his phone, lol.
If you want my opinion/advice...have a specific conversation about why it bothers him and how you can make him feel more loved without giving up on something that is helping you become healthier.
Best wishes to you and yours.0 -
Thats so funny! Mine hates it and does 'get' it either! I sometimes hide my phone under the duvet to log etc...scary but true! He keeps asking if im flirting with guys....i tell him for a start 99% of my MFP friends are female and if you call talking about 'thigh chaffing' is flirting well then we need to talk! lol0
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I'm learning to log in the morning, at night, and if I'm dealing with a meal that I'm uncertain about and don't want to go overboard with. My guy is very supportive.0
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Keep on doin what you are doin!!
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I don't agree with the people who are saying he is jealous or obsessive. We don't know anything about either of you.
I agree with Slinky. I'd start by thanking him for being concerned about you and then explain to him that you wish you could just eat and not have to log to be healthy, but that hasn't worked for you in the past. Be honest with yourself if your logging does get intrusive and figure out a way around it.
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Tell him to mind his own business!!
I agree!! If you want to get healthier, that is NONE OF HIS BUSINESS. Seriously, it is not his place to tell you how to go about dieting and exercising. Do what feels right for you and tell him to get over it.0 -
I have the same problem. My gal just gets mad at me everytime someone comments or god forbid compliments....0
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I just started using MFP in August and I feel that it keeps me more accountable than I would be without it. It made me aware of what I was eating. I am already down 13 pounds since first of Aug and I know I couldnt have done it without MFP. I dont think it is being obsessive, just trying to get support of get on the right track. Tell him you probably wont need it forever, but it keeps you thinking about what you are eating til you are able to do it without help. Thats all he really needs to know. My hubby is ecstatic about me using it and says if it helps me do what I need to do, then there is no problem.0
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You stick with what's helping you, I've been on here only two weeks, my partner gives me funny looks when I say I have to log my food or exercise but I'm still doing it. He also suggested ice-cream, mini doughnuts and a burger when we were at the motor racing today, but I ignored all that too - I made a healthy sandwich to take with me and a cup of blueberries. He's not mentioned me looking any slimmer, though my mum kindly said my face looked less puffy yesterday lol, I'm doing this for me, I want to get back into my favourite jeans!! Tell him his support would make it easier, but you always have your friends on here for support too. Feel free to add me if you like.0
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My husband's problem is that he's jealous and insecure (he has put on about 50 pounds since we got together, and I think he was comfortable with us both being fat; he doesn't like that I'm losing weight). Your partner probably is too...
There is nothing wrong with keeping track. It keeps you accountable-in writing-to yourself. It helps keep you on track. If your partner has a problem with you getting healthy, make it clear that it's your life, health, and happiness on the line, and you'll work on those things any way you have to.0 -
I'd tell your partner to STFU and mind his own business!0
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Not if it's a useful way for you to keep control of your food intake...0
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In my opinion you have to start off to identify your eating habits - theres nothing wrong with that at all! asoon as you know whats going down and youre happy with calories and weight then you wont need to as much - but theres imense support on here too. Dont worry about him - just tell him your on facebook or something. does he play computer games all the time...? you get the idea :P :P0
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To each their own. Logging has become second habit for me so now I don't think about it really.
You could try planning out your day and logging the night before. That way you would still have it logged and wouldn't have to log throughout the day?0 -
For me, this is a learning process. My husband also thinks i am obsessive about it. But i tell him that once i reach my goal, i will worry about it a bit less. He had a kidney transplant and was on a special diet. After studying everything about it for 6 months (how much potassium, sodium, etc. were in foods), i could actually look at a plate of food and judge the approximate sodium, potassium counts based on the portion size. I didn't need to write things down anymore. I think this will be the same way. Once i get used to eating healthy and knowing portion sizes and what a good balance of protein, carbs, etc. is, I won't NEED to obsess about every calorie (though i will probably still use this site so i don't fall back into old habits). Maybe explain it this way?0
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Tell him to mind his own business!!
yup! I agree... none of his flipping business if he continues to be (what seems like) nasty to you about it.
No one is "normal", there are not straight-across-the-board one-way only concepts. What one person does to lose weight may not work for the other person.
Sounds to me there is alot more that is bothering him than just you using MFP. Sounds like he needs to get a reality check and really truly explain the 'why', and I think you will find he is extremely scared poopless that someone else might notice you more, thus feeling threatened...0 -
It is so hard when your partner is not supportive. I am so lucky that my husband is on this journey with me. I say tell him (kindly) to mind his own business. What you do has no bearing on him. I know personally that I have to log EVERYTHING. If I don't then I sneak bites here and there and those really, really add up. Do what works for you and nevermind what he says.0
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Keep on logging your partner needs to be supportive not negative, does your partner have a weight issue? Most of my family became negative to my logging everything I ate even before MFP .. I have lost 97lbs. this process if for you, others have to deal with their issues, your partner seems to have some and is taking it out on you.0
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Change your partner! He obviously feels little for your feelings or values.0
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Has he even ever sat and looked around this site? Checked out the forums? Anything? Seems like he is jealous. Don't cave just because you are doing something good for you. If you want to better yourself then do it. You only get ONE life to live - better to be obsessed with being healthy and HAPPY than just laying down in defeat because he doesn't like you on here.
As for his comments about 'dieting like normal people do'
Guess what? --- All those "normal" "dieters" (Ahem, MFP is not a DIET, it is a tool to sustain a healthy lifestyle - for life) who are out there just winging it or who are on any type of named diet plan typically don't stick with it or have success and then gain everything back. MFP is completely different. It is simply a tool to help you make better choices to meet your goals. I see WAY more amazing success stories here than I have ever heard or read of anywhere else. Of course, that's not to say that some named diets out there are horrible, it's just that MFP is free, convenient and teaches you how to eat properly, reminds you to exercise, offers a great support system, etc. etc. There are no gimmicks involved. MFP, in my opinion, is what "normal" people SHOULD follow.
Your man sounds like he needs to make a change for himself and is irritated that you are dedicated and committed to being successful. I would just keep on going and don't let him stand in your way. Maybe one day he will come around and realize he needs to make some changes too.0 -
Tell him to mind his own business!!
This x 100000000 -
Tell him to mind his own business!!
YEAH!! What she said!!
I have an iPhone and I have been asked by stores what I am doing scanning in barcodes!
They dont really believe I am checking out nutritional values, but you know what .. screw 'em!
Tell him if he doesnt like it, then he wont get to play with the new body you are creating for yourself .. his loss!0 -
Been there done that; it didnt work; I go with what works0
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I do not see what the problem is with you logging everything and taking your health seriously. I personally would kind of enjoy the fact that you take such good care of yourself. Maybe log it when he is not around if it is such a problem. You need to have a certain amount of freedom in any relationship (IMHO).0
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Instead of getting on the pitty pot perhaps you could look at the situation and ask yourself:
Am I being a little obsessive abut MFP?
Is it affecting my relationships?
Are other aspects of my life suffering because of my behavior with MFP?
If you can honestly answer any of those questions as a yes then you should try looking at things from their point of view. If you can honestly say NO to those questions then they need to mind their own business. If your answers are a mix, then you need to talk it out like adults and not air your issues with random unknown people over the internet.0
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