I don't even know what Title to give this.

If he threatens to cut back your shifts if you break up with him... THAT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT. I would call HR right now and report it. You can sue the company over something like that if it came down to it. He should never have been allowed to be your supervisor if he was dating you AND he knows that.
It sounds like an older man is taking advantage of you and stringing you along. He sounds controlling and manipulative. Those are dangerous qualities in a man and at your age, you are an easy target. He will continue to do it until you put a stop to it. When you are fed up enough, you will but how long will that take? You do need to ask yourself how long you should live like this. Do you deserve this? I doubt it. Do you love him, does he love you? True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist and it cannot be denied where it does. Think about that.... if you question whether he really loves you or not... he probably doesn't.
You are young and beautiful, you are obviously a hard worker and you have your whole life ahead of you. Pick a college and get your butt into a classroom. There are student loans, grants, etc.... if you want to make it happen, you will make it happen.
Good luck young lady! Believe in yourself and your ability to have the things you want in life. Don't depend on this man to make that happen. Get an education. Without it, your choices are so extremely limited. And he knows that (given that he has his masters) and if he isn't encouraging YOU to get your degree, he does not want the best things for you.

holy cow. seriously stop paying his bills. now. and if you have extra time cause he "cut your hours back", look for work. hell, come work for my company: a 9-1-1 center on the west coast. we'll train you, give you full benefits lke paid sick leave, medical/dental/vision insurance, vacation, paid holidays and a union to boot. excellent salary. we are one of the best in the nation and a LOT of employees got their degrees while working here. oh, did i mention we help you pay for some tuition, also? no? truly you are better than this.

You deserve better. You deserve to go to school if you want to. You deserve somebody who is absolutely nuts about you and wants to spend all of his free time with you.

You are young and you have options. The world is open to you and you have the power to do whatever you want. If he doesn't support your seeking out school, then he is threatened by the thought of you earning independence.

If I were you, I would start asking myself about what I want out of life. Then, start planning how to get there.

I am sorry that you are in this situation. Sounds pretty darn crappy. But at 19, everything can be rough. You are not trapped, though. Start thinking about what you want, and then go for it.

Hope things get better, soon!

This!!!

You dear young lady. This response above is spot on. You're so young - you're on MFP so you obviously care about yourself, you're working so you are obviously responsible.
HIS ex = HIS financial responsibility.
YOUR future = YOUR responsibility.
YOUR happiness = YOUR obligation.
You can do this. Believe in yourself; a whole bunch of complete strangers here believe in you!!

Just break up.

I have to agree! If he doesnt support you, you should stay...just My opinion! My ex BF was kinda like that too. I had gone to school but stopped going because of some personal situations I was in. I kept saying I wanted to go back but, he never did anything to support my decision...and, he never wanted to do anything I wanted to do...only what he thought we should do!

Anyway, point I am making is that you really should think long and hard about the situation you are in and if you would really like to stay in that type of relationship that he doesnt support you.

GOOD LCUK and will say a prayer for you!!

BTW, if your relationship ended, would you be able to stay in the position you are in at work?

Thank you for reply.

I know what you mean, I still have some things to think over before I make my decision.

and when we almost broke up the other night I asked him if I was fired and he said that he wouldn't fire me but cut back my shifts, because the only reason he was giving me so much work was because we were partners. I just said ok, because some work is better than none.

riiight ...so he was giving you more work so you could help pay his alimony- that is NOT your responsibility! He is using you from the sounds of it...and the earlier posts I read about him cheating most likely with his ex wife....is possible.....its not a open real relationship if he is controlling you (the education) you have every right to go and better yourself....this was my ex hubby too....we paid off all his debt first..and then I got left with his credit card debt after we split too....it was only after I took care of that and my kids got older that I got to go to school....and yes it can be done...it is everyday but it would be much easier without kids when you are younger and can devote yourself to yourself! Good luck and God Bless in whatever you decide sweetie!

I can feel for you. He should be the one paying off his debit and his ex wife, not you. Chances are when the debt is all gone, he will be to. It sounds like he is the one being mean and maybe even somewhat emotionally abusive. You deserve better. You deserve to go to school if you want to. You deserve somebody who is absolutely nuts about you and wants to spend all of his free time with you. If I were you, I would start asking myself about what I want out of life. Then, start planning how to get there.

You dear young lady. This response above is spot on. You're so young - you're on MFP so you obviously care about yourself, you're working so you are obviously responsible.
HIS ex = HIS financial responsibility.
YOUR future = YOUR responsibility.
YOUR happiness = YOUR obligation.
You can do this. Believe in yourself; a whole bunch of complete strangers here believe in you!!

[/quote]
You are a beautiful girl, you deserve to have your dreams come true. I am a mom, so all i can think is if this was my daughter, I would want you to leave, and go to school, and move on with a wonderful life you are meant to have. Education is the key to future opportunities in the work force. Spread your wings!!

I also date and live with my boss whom is 15 years older than me and 1000.00 in alimony is nothing compared to what my SO pays out... Anyways, in my humble opinion it sounds like he has some growing up to do. First off, we keep work and home completely separate. We never mix the two. When I have my bad days he comforts me, and does not tell me I am mean no matter how bad I am reacting. And always goes out of his way to see me. He would support me if I wanted to go back to school. It sounds like your SO is being very selfish. You have to decide how long you are willing to put up with this. At that point if things were not better it may be time to jump ship and find someone who does support your decisions to better yourself with an education. I wish you the best of luck and all the happiness in the world.

Just break up.

then quit!

No, don't quit. Unless, you go away to college. Let him fire you or decrease your hours. Then sue.

A-men

At 19, you shouldn't be paying your hard working dollars for his ex-wife's alimony. Nuff said.
What happened to student loans? If you're working to pay his, they exist. He's a bullsheeter and I suggest you move on.

tough love,
Katey

You sound like a hardworking person. What are you actually getting out of this relationship except grief? You need to sort out your feelings and decide whether you want to live like this long term and what is the most important thing you want and think about for your future. Happiness, Education, A supportive partner, and a Career or a job you like should be at the top of the list. What about family? Do you have anyone you can trust to use as a sounding board? My heart goes out to you.
Once you decided what you want to do....Believe in yourself and your goals and get busy doing it.

I'm a big list person. When I left my ex, I wrote a list - which helped me realise that I didn't actually love him (FYI, I was 19).
-I was the housewife/cook etc
-I was the main breadwinner
-i was studying full time
-We were debt laden due to studying, but always paying off his credit card - I didn't have one
-I was making his life perfect by giving him all my emotion, leaving nothing for me
-I was too afraid to vent at him, cos it was always 'my' fault
-He was a part time student
-Played computer for the rest of the time

It was damn hard to leave, but a year later, I was sooo happy. I had found independence, I had found my self-respect, I had decided that if a man did not love me, he did not get me and he better damn well respect me otherwise he was gone. My darling husband was man enough - although I put him through the wringer at the start lol.

You need to find you again, cos you get so engrossed in the relationship that you lose that at 19. A true relationship is two people, one relationship. Not just the relationship IYKWIM. Respect, support, love all bind, but not all your energy goes into keeping the relationship or the other person happy - he is in control of his happiness, just like you are yours.

If you are worried about putting him as your boss on your application or resume . . . DON'T. Put whomever was your boss before, another co-worker, or someone higher up in the company who knows your work ethic and experience. Take your life back and become who you want to be. That is what is truly going to make you happy every day.

Best wishes :flowerforyou:

^^^^ This!!! He's obviously avoiding you anyway. Put in your notice and move out. (Pull your money out of checking accounts same day...) I can't imagine the hardship on your for this. But you are young! I have been with my Logan since I was 17. Yes we argue. But overall, he still treats me like a queen. Happily married for 4 years. You should never be responsible for his alimony. That is just nuts. I would put in your notice to a higher up and explain the situation and the threats of decreased work if you leave him. That way the higher up can keep him away from you if he gets to keep his job (which he won't, companies don't like lawsuits waiting to happen). And I would pick a town (hometown, college, a friends place, anywhere) and get away from him. There are counselors, shelters, all sorts of places that will help you. Call your mother. Stay with her if you want. But he is controlling you. I don't see how it can get better. But it can get far worse I fear...

You were 16 when you got together.
9 yrs. difference in age?
He was 25 and you were 16??
If I read it right.
Run from the pervert.
He has major control issues.
Maybe you have gotten to old for him.

By the way if he won't come and see you and is not having sex with you.
He is cheating.....sorry.:flowerforyou:

ALL OF THIS!!! I was also doing the math of when they got together. You're wayyyyyy to young to be dealing with that chit. If you want to go to college....GO!!!!!!!

Just my two coins....

If you want to go to college you should!!! If you don't you will resent it and your boyfriend for the rest of your life. It really seems as though you two are moving in different directions. A few other people suggested keeping the money separate.....I AGREE!! You may need an escape fund. At 19.....there's so much of life ahead of you and so many fish in the sea! Don't cheat yourself!