???? for the ladies in long term relationships.

I wouldn't put up with it. Honestly, his attitude really stinks. Telling you this will be an every night thing, and showing a complete disregard for your feelings?

Why would you want to stay with someone who treats you so horribly? You deserve so much better than that.

You're not the world's biggest idiot, but you should be with someone who wants to be with you. You should have a partner who will put your needs at least at the same level as his own and will consider your feelings in every decision he makes. This man isn't doing that. There are way better men out there. Don't waste any more time on this one.

I'm sorry. I know it's easier said than done...

I wouldn't put up with it.

You've posted a few times about this guy. Listen, I have been in a relationship just like yours before...you know how it ended? Divorce. I was stupid enough to marry the *kitten* in the first place. At first, our relationship started off fine....I guess it was the courting period, whatever. But about 6 months after we got married, he too started drinking every night. It got to the point where even our friends didn't want to hang out with us because they say how disrespectful he was to me. A few years later was when the verbal abuse started....then it got physical, especially when he was drinking.

I was always that girl that was like, "why would you tolerate that?" But when I found myself in the same situation, I just kept telling myself that he would change, things would get better, but you know what? They didn't. It just got worse. I don't know what happened, if it was someone from above looking out for me, but one day, a light bulb just went off in my head, and I was like, I need to leave. That was almost 3 years ago. I hate myself for staying in that relationship for so long, but it was a learning experience. I learned that you always have to put yourself first, you are number one, don't let anyone treat you less than you should be treated. A real man will hold you on a pedestal and do anything for you, because you are HIS number one....get my point?

You've posted a few times about this guy. Listen, I have been in a relationship just like yours before...you know how it ended? Divorce. I was stupid enough to marry the *kitten* in the first place. At first, our relationship started off fine....I guess it was the courting period, whatever. But about 6 months after we got married, he too started drinking every night. It got to the point where even our friends didn't want to hang out with us because they say how disrespectful he was to me. A few years later was when the verbal abuse started....then it got physical, especially when he was drinking.

I was always that girl that was like, "why would you tolerate that?" But when I found myself in the same situation, I just kept telling myself that he would change, things would get better, but you know what? They didn't. It just got worse. I don't know what happened, if it was someone from above looking out for me, but one day, a light bulb just went off in my head, and I was like, I need to leave. That was almost 3 years ago. I hate myself for staying in that relationship for so long, but it was a learning experience. I learned that you always have to put yourself first, you are number one, don't let anyone treat you less than you should be treated. A real man will hold you on a pedestal and do anything for you, because you are HIS number one....get my point?

^^ Great advice!!!!!! I agree that a guy should treat his lady like a princess and do anything for her.

Mine doesn't drink or go out to bars. Maybe he has gotten past that phase being 30 but I know he's never been a drinker. Honestly I wouldn't put up with that though. It'd be one thing if it was every once in a while or maybe once a week and you had your out time too but every day is just ridiculous and he sounds like he doesn't care much at all about your position.

Nope-- would not be my guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the same guy who forgets your birthday :frown:

He needs to shape up or ship out. Communication is vital between the both of you, does he know how you feel on all these matters?

I have been with my guy for 8 yrs and he would never ever act like that. You deserve a man who will treat you like a queen.

Dump him now! Just think of what the years to come will look like. If you are unhappy now it will get 100 times worse as the years pass. Cut your losses and move on.

Drinking and driving!! lets just hope he doesnt run into some innocent person or family and kill them, easier said then done but if i knew someone doing that I would call the police on them no question even my own husband!!, also like others have said it shows that he is a very self centered person that only thinks of his needs and wants and sorry to say but people like this rarely change if you stay you will find it will most likley get worse and you will never be treated equally or fairly better to leave now and find someone that you can love and be loved by in a happy and healthy relationship

Yeah, I don't think he is being fair to you or considerate of you at all. I think you should lay down the law and if if he wants to stay out every night leaving you with his family, it may be time to move on. Better while you're young, single and childless then to have this come up later on when it may be too late to act on it.

I do not know the whole situation here. Do you work or is he the only one supporting you? Do you have kids together? Have you tried getting to know his family? Do you drive? Do you have friends you can go out with?

Now, for the topic at hand with my limited information: My husband drinks in the evenings several nights of the week. He does this at home. He has cut back a lot since we first met. He says this is because family is important to him. He would NEVER drink and drive. That would just be foolish. And dangerous. He does go out with the guys some nights, when we have discussed it ahead of time.

If I were in your shoes, I would look for work. Sometimes it is simply a matter of attitude that if he is the only one paying the bills, then he feels like he should be able to relax, and he does have the power in the relationship. The person who cares the least controls the relationship. The only way to take back that power so you can be on equal footing again is to work on you. You cannot fix his habits. You can choose what you will and will not put up with, though.

A job is great divorce insurance. If you are living with relatives you don't know well, try to get to know them better. You have to live together, so why keep it awkward? Maybe they are feeling the same way you are. I am friends with my mother in law, and it helps to get her perspective on hubby's behavior because she watched him grow up. Sometimes there is an additional issue you are not seeing that plays a part in his behavior. I would start by helping one of them with a chore, like laundry or dishes so it isn't as uncomfortable. You can talk while you work and keeping your hands busy will fill any silences.

Work on how you feel about yourself. Maybe this means exercising, maybe this means finding a hobby, getting a makeover, doing your hair differently, whatever makes you feel good about you. You could even volunteer somewhere so you know you are making a difference. This can also lead to having a support group of friends.

I wish you all the best. I realize that not all of my suggestions will fit into your life at the same time, but I hope that at least one jumps out and strikes you as something worthwhile.

I don't know what you should do.

But personally I hope he gets caught.
One of the most selfish things someone can do is drink and drive.
I'd call the cops on him - granted I'm not in love with the dude.

^^^this

Been with my guy almost 4 years and while he does other things to piss me off ( don't they all???).....no, that is not something he would do....

Maybe it's time to re-evaluate the relationship? From your posts, you seem really unhappy...Life is too short for that! :drinker: