What is with all the stipulations when friending someone?

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  • redhousecat
    redhousecat Posts: 584 Member
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    I joined this fitness site for........uh........fitness, not weight loss. I already know how to eat right, as it has been my lifestyle for over a decade. I prefer to have friends that will offer to kick my *kitten* into gear when I get lazy (which is often).

    My profile is private. My diary is password accessible. If friend requests are exchanged, I offer the disclaimer to friend me, check out my profile, evaluate. Then feel free to stay friends or unfriend as needed. No harm, no foul.

    People who are willing to take the extra steps are more worthy of a web friendship, in my opinion.
  • allifantastical
    allifantastical Posts: 946 Member
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    I'm way to laid back of a person to put stipulations down. If I friend you and you are a weirdo, that delete button is wonderful.

    I'm your polar opposite. I need a note with a fr, and if you're not weird we probably won't get along.

    So we probably shouldn't be friends then? LOL
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    I like to post porn so I'm particular about who gets to read it.
  • Chapter3point6
    Chapter3point6 Posts: 1,233
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    It's the same as the men on here only having half naked women as friends...


    I don't know why.

    Ummm, because half naked women are HOT!!! :love:
  • Gurlyknockout
    Gurlyknockout Posts: 115 Member
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    Thanks everyone for clearing this up for the new B. I can see why you need some stipulations. But I swear some people I have read seems more like a job interview than an interwebs friending.

    I have to admit I have friended a few of my current friends w/o a message and I have a pretty blank profile. So sorry to all of them... I didn’t know it was creepy lol Honestly I either friended them because they said something funny ( i need funny in my life) or they inspired be in some way. I didn’t add a message because well it sounded more creepy me saying "hey you inspire me" :blushing: or "I like you cuz your funny" :bigsmile: . But as I buzzed around I have seen the creeps so I do have some unspoken stipulations too.

    I guess I should go fill out the ol profile, so I look less creepy. lol :laugh:

    And I do agree with being unable to support a person that has a closed food diary. I cant say good job because I have no idea what you ate!
  • Hesselhoff
    Hesselhoff Posts: 3
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    Sending a blank friend request is like walking up to someone, wide eyed with a slightly too large smile.

    And staring at them.

    Just when the tension becomes even worse, say "yes?" Smile even wider, and nod furiously.

    Bahahaha! Exactly this. I have nothing to add.

    hahaha this is perfect.

    I will add anyone who sends a request with a message. I don't have rules. I am not going to judge. If people want to eat 800 calories a day and then complain about why their bodies are shutting down on them, giver. I will probably delete you because it's not positive for me... but to have a list of rules for people? Nah. I'd rather not spend my entire time on here judging whether people are good enough to read my diary.

    Like I said the only thing (which I thought was common sense??) I really care about is add a little message when you add.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    I had a bad experience on a different site so I want to know that the person friending me is real. If there's no history of posting on their page, they don't have any friends, and there's no picture and no message I'll sit on the request for a while to see if anything about that changes. I post personal things on my wall.

    ^ This!

    I have had some internet "friendships" turn sour and I am selective of who I add now.
  • Eddie274
    Eddie274 Posts: 156
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    Haven't we all had some kind of eating disorder to get overweight? Eating disorders are just poor approaches to food and eating, so it's a bit rich to eliminate everyone who has this or this would mean no one overweight?!!!

    If you don't eat up to your calories then as friends we should be there to support them, even if we don't agree with their methods, if it's working for them. Show concern if it's felt, but to support their decisions as adults.

    As for the others I understand them. Friends have to contribute to that friendship or they're not really friends, so although I don't have conditions myself I understand those that do.
  • Derpina7
    Derpina7 Posts: 552 Member
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    Creepin it real
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    Would you walk up next to a person and not say a word and expect them to consider you a friend? Same thing here.

    How about if I just grabbed your *kitten*? :love:
  • thelovelyLIZ
    thelovelyLIZ Posts: 1,227 Member
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    Honestly, I interact so little with my friends on MFP, that I don't really care and I accept almost any friend request I get.
  • tigerlinly
    tigerlinly Posts: 219 Member
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    those people are extreme i only want friends who will keep me motivated and i do the same for them. now if i see that they havent logges on for a bit i will email them to see what is up but other then that we r cool
  • Stac2004
    Stac2004 Posts: 88 Member
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    Here are mine, and for good reason.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/dsjohndrow/view/rules-for-accepting-mfp-friends-are-essential-170646

    I read these and they are awesome. Well done.
  • eecruzmd
    eecruzmd Posts: 119 Member
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    You know I just read the most idiotic excuses on this thread about friending ppl. Why should someone have to be "hot" or "well fit" to be your friend? You might have started the same way as everyone else has. No need to be hipocritical and people here friend you sometimes for advice, motivation and simply FOR HELP!!

    Get off your damn high horse and remember what you were 150 lbs ago
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
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    What is with all the stipulations when friending someone on here?

    I have read on many people bios that you…..A) Have to send them a message when friending them; of when and why your friending them. B) You can’t have too less of a calorie intake C)You have to log in all the time unless you have a excuse, D) Be a frequent commenter E)You have to engage with the person on a regular basis F)No people with a eating disorder.

    WOW! That’s a lot of stipulations of being ones interwebs friend. I am new here but I guess there are many who have ed's that you have to put that in your bio? Are these stipulations common to being ones friend on here? Or are these people extreme?

    I guess they have had bad experiences. But I can tell you I don't judge my "friends" on their calories and they better not judge me (so far they don't). One girl with a past history of an eating disorder had a problem with my diet. I don't have an eating disorder nor ever have, but I'm small and some people don't get that when you are small you have a small calorie budget. Life is not fair so I just deal with it.

    I even closed my food diary and all my new friends got mad (nicely) so I opened it up with the stipulation don't judge me and so for no one has. I also do not expect my friends to comment all the time and if they don't want to login they don't have to. They can come and go as they please. If I have some conflict with someone I will unfriend them but so far that has not happened. I seem to attract people who are serious and not here to flirt or whatever. But still, why would I care if someone didn't login for awhile? They are free to come and go as they please.
  • sandylion
    sandylion Posts: 451 Member
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    Wow, I feel kind of inadequate.... I have only ever gotten 1 or 2 creepers in all the time I've been on here. I'm not creep worthy.... how sad!
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
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    What is with all the stipulations when friending someone on here?

    I have read on many people bios that you…..A) Have to send them a message when friending them; of when and why your friending them. B) You can’t have too less of a calorie intake C)You have to log in all the time unless you have a excuse, D) Be a frequent commenter E)You have to engage with the person on a regular basis F)No people with a eating disorder.

    WOW! That’s a lot of stipulations of being ones interwebs friend. I am new here but I guess there are many who have ed's that you have to put that in your bio? Are these stipulations common to being ones friend on here? Or are these people extreme?

    For me:

    A) I don't require a message, but I like to get one.

    Why? Because I like to connect with people with similar interests or goals, so it's cool to know if they liked a post I wrote in a running forum, or we live in the same area, or ??? However I rarely refuse ANY request even if the person lives 5000 miles away and we have nothing in common except MFP...I just like to know a little bit about why I'm interesting to them :) B & F) I prefer to support people who are trying to be healthy, so I will accept folks who are in recovery from ED's. I just don't feel comfortable trying to support someone who is actively restricting calories to an extreme level, because it is frustrating and sad and I don't know how to help them.

    That's just my personal take...I am busy and don't interact with all my MFPeeps every day or even every week, so I don't mind if people are not particularly active...
  • sweetshugbaby
    sweetshugbaby Posts: 3
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    I thought it was odd too....I dont mind sending a brief note when friending...just being polite. But some of them are a little scary when you read them...
  • MeMyCatsandI
    MeMyCatsandI Posts: 704 Member
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    Yes I understand not wanting the ed around you but C, D, & E? Just seems a bit much. It’s almost a job in its self to be the person’s friend.

    Per above: C)You have to log in all the time unless you have a excuse, D) Be a frequent commenter E)You have to engage with the person on a regular basis

    As far as I'm concerned, these three things are the main reason to HAVE friends on MFP. They are also the reason I do NOT have friends. Not a single one. I don't want any. I don't have the time or ambition to comment on what my friends are eating, how much or how often they exercise, etc. I also don't need outside motivation, so I don't need comments from others about my eating and exercising habits to keep myself in check. That doesn't motivate me, it would just cause to me lie on my food and exercise diaries.
    Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that is the three things you mention above are too much to ask of you as a friend, maybe you're the type (as I am) that shouldn't HAVE friends on the interwebs.
    Edited for clarification.
  • myfitnessval
    myfitnessval Posts: 687 Member
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    i understand it, ive had bad experiences with people not being supportive because our goal are different and theres no way in hell i'm going to be supportive of someone actively participating in an eating disorder. i dont add people without a message first because id like to know why they are friending me. this isnt a friending free for all you dont have to read peoples crap if you dont want to.

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