Facebook Status u wish u could post but can't? Post away :)

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Replies

  • MMKE4ever
    MMKE4ever Posts: 115 Member
    Keep telling yourself that you're not the problem, and that everyone else is. Eventually, you'll convince yourself, and then your friends list will be pointless.

    ^^^^^THIS!!
  • Muscles_Curves
    Muscles_Curves Posts: 385 Member
    If that man didn't marry you change your last name back.

    ####Stop placing #hashtags# throughout your status. ####
  • runnermama81
    runnermama81 Posts: 388 Member
    If that man didn't marry you change your last name back.

    ####Stop placing #hashtags# throughout your status. ####

    Yes! Hashtags are for twitter, silly people!
  • kickers19
    kickers19 Posts: 63 Member
    This post was a great idea~

    You tell me how much you wish you could lose weight too. Well get off your fat ****ing *kitten* and do something about it instead of *****ing.
  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
    1) Please post more pictures of your new purchases and tattoos. I will gladly throw them in your face Friday when you tell me you can't afford child support, the same conversation we have EVERY Friday.

    2) Every post you make on FB doesn't need to be about how much you love Lisa because a week ago it was how Lisa is nothing but a *kitten* and a lying *****. No one cares about your stupid teenage relationship and we all think you're stupid.

    3) You're a grandmother. Stop being a passive aggressive beeyotch to me and your own son and daughter in law via FB. Grow UP. Personal dramas do NOT need to be blasted online. Kinda like when you and your little friend ganged up on me when I was pregnant and posted on FB about how your son isn't the father of my child. REALLY??!?! But I'm not going to worry about it, because I've saved every FB post and nasty text from you and your family in case your son ever gets his panties in a bunch and tries to take me to court. Which he WONT because he knows deep down that he can't handle joint custody and he'd only be doing it out of spite.

    It's OK. It's gonna be OK. Everything is alright. Put down the kitchen knife.

    (speaks into shoulder mounted radio) "1 Adam 12, 1 Adam 12, need back-up, we have a situation here......"
  • Canderson58054
    Canderson58054 Posts: 132 Member
    When I get a notification that someone added a new picture
    My first thought that came to mind is---

    "REALLY? the other 1,098 pictures weren't enough?" :)
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Oh wait, I actually do have one:

    No, Einstein did not say that!!! It's not a real quote! The "law of attraction" is not physics.
  • DivineRED1
    DivineRED1 Posts: 134 Member
    I see a lot of the rants are about stupid *kitten* other people post on fb. I delete on the spot if I see a stupid status update. ESPECIALLY if they try to preach their religion, post graphic photos of cancer victims/african children/abused animals or get overly patriotic about the military/war.
    Unfortunately I have had to delete a few more friends than I would have liked due to racism also... Really disappointed.

    Racism is a deal breaker.
  • KetchikanLadyDi
    KetchikanLadyDi Posts: 23 Member
    I'm sorry but I sincerely do not want to see photos of you in every bikini possible, posing in the water and on the beach, like a bikini model. Don't care how great your body is.... THINK ABOUT YOUR POOR HIGH SCHOOL SON!!! Knowing your friends are drooling (and more) over your mother can not be a fun thing! Poor kid!
  • LisaMarie8713
    LisaMarie8713 Posts: 310
    If you are in charge of an official organization, you shouldn't be posting dirty/rotten jokes with the company's fb page. Inappropriate language on it drives me nuts! Anyone affiliated with it is screwed! Post that *kitten* on your own page!!

    Also, sooooo sick of every depressing person. I'm so sick, I have another cold, I wanna cry today... blah blah blah!!!!
  • shellydd
    shellydd Posts: 156 Member
    dear ex-wife,
    kiss my *kitten* you attention seeking slime bucket!
    Love, New wife
  • NobodyInParticular
    NobodyInParticular Posts: 352 Member
    Send me another "random"-ville invite and I'll **** on your dog
  • ggcat
    ggcat Posts: 313 Member
    Seriously, how many pictures can you take of yourself!?!!!! We get it, every time you get in your car you feel the need to snap a pic of yourself- the first 50 times was proof enough!

    BTW- you still look exactly the same as the first 50!!!!
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
    wow you all need new friends!!! I"m not friends with people that annoy me this much, this is very interesting!!!
  • Midnight_Sunshine
    Midnight_Sunshine Posts: 369 Member
    Why do you people even bother having facebook profiles?
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
    I'd like to say

    1. I DONT give a FRACK about Candy Dash, Falafel Live or any other dumbass game you want me to join in!!!
    2. Please stop posting all the cute kitten and puppy pictures with cutesy quotes and filling up my entire newsfeed!!


    3. I DONT care how awesome your photos look, im still not gonna be your GROUPIE and click LIKE!!!
  • mjhedgehog
    mjhedgehog Posts: 249 Member
    1) Please stop posting pictures of yourself making the "duck face". You look like a moron. Thanks!

    2) Dear annoying person who posts depressing love quotes all the damn time, stop it. No one gives a s**t. You're not "misunderstood" or "heart broken" you're just effing annoying.
  • Nekoashi
    Nekoashi Posts: 220 Member
    These are all hilarious! :P

    Dear Facebook friend: Thanks for asking me to leave my $14 hr job to continue doing work for you, and when I do what you ask, then you close the company so you can go work somewhere else. Now I am unemployed and get to see your posts and photos of your awesome job and new coworkers. Thanks for ignoring me when I ask for help and want some of my items back. Your giant forehead is already large and just keeps getting bigger everyday you brag about how awesome everything is for you. You're an *kitten*.

    Dear Facebook friend who has her own business: Stop whining that you have no time to yourself. We know you work full time and have your business on the side. I offer to help, even with no pay in trade for supplies to use in my own time, and you still turn me down and instead use your unreliable waste of space sister to help you out. Good luck when you guys have a stupid fight or she just decides to go to Disneyland and leave you with no one to do the work.
  • CarmenSRT
    CarmenSRT Posts: 843 Member

    Dear Facebook friend: Thanks for asking me to leave my $14 hr job to continue doing work for you, and when I do what you ask, then you close the company so you can go work somewhere else. Now I am unemployed and get to see your posts and photos of your awesome job and new coworkers. Thanks for ignoring me when I ask for help and want some of my items back. Your giant forehead is already large and just keeps getting bigger everyday you brag about how awesome everything is for you. You're an *kitten*.
    Oh man that stinks. People like that do their level best to rid the world of good people one screw over at a time. Hope life makes it up to you somehow.
  • rainbowsprite
    rainbowsprite Posts: 20
    :flowerforyou: omg....these are just too good!!! i have wanted to say a lot of this stuff to a lot of people....theres one girl in particular who is not even a friend of mine but she is seeing two mutual friends of mine...can we say skank
  • sotellmedarling
    sotellmedarling Posts: 35 Member
    Your new tattoo does NOT look good. Not even close. But thanks for reminding me of why I should abstain from tatting myself. That stuff is all kinds of permanent ugly.
  • runnermama81
    runnermama81 Posts: 388 Member
    Dear friend,
    You have three adorable kids yet you post pictures of your prize winning cattle ??? I dont get it.
  • seventwenty
    seventwenty Posts: 565 Member
    Oh look, yet another passive aggressive thread on MFP...
  • KrazyInLove
    KrazyInLove Posts: 36 Member
    Hi family in a lesbian and have been for almost six years now. At least now you know why i dont talk about guys much and i had all those "sleepovers" lol
  • rozsbluejay
    rozsbluejay Posts: 303 Member
    Friends,
    I don't know why you take pictures of your nieces and nephews like they are the best thing that ever walked this planet. They are not even your kids. Those of you that do have kids and post pictures of them every day too enough with that too. You're just gonna end up spoiling then with all that attention. Also stop tagging yourself in pictures that you're not even in. That's just stupid.
  • rozsbluejay
    rozsbluejay Posts: 303 Member
    Dear friend,
    I know you love your husband but go tell him that. DON'T WRITE IT ON HIS WALL!!!!

    For that matter why are you announcing you had a fight with him knowing he will see it, you're mom, you're dad, and the rest of his family to see!

    YOU'RE EMBARRASSING HIM!
  • rozsbluejay
    rozsbluejay Posts: 303 Member

    Your writing and spelling are so bad, I rarely know what you are talking about in your statuses. But it is good for a laugh, so keep it up.


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :heart:
  • rozsbluejay
    rozsbluejay Posts: 303 Member
    "Stop posting pictures of your ugly babies."

    :laugh:
  • lbmore33
    lbmore33 Posts: 1,013 Member
    what the hell is farmville and bejewel? stop it already with the invitations already.
  • rozsbluejay
    rozsbluejay Posts: 303 Member
    Dear Friend,

    I know its your dad's/mom's birthday. Why are you telling them Happy Birthday on Facebook? They don't even have one for you to tag them. You're an idiot!

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