Are men wired to cheat...?
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When I read the word "men", more comes to mind than anatomy. "Men" don't get arroused, act like boys, get excited, and put their parts in places that they don't belong. That would be a growing boy if you ask me.
While a struggling marriage (or relationship) may lead a person to think that "they deserve better (or more)", it takes a man to own up, discuss, pray, seek counseling, etc.
Thankfully, a 'boy' can still become a 'man' even after mistakes, but sometimes the damage is devistating.
(repeat the above paragraph and now replace 'boy' with 'girl' and 'men' with 'women' ... though you'll have to switch around the statement about parts)0 -
I'm 43 and never ever have I physically cheated. I have flirted and still do to this day. Wife still gets ticked off at me from time to time
My hubby flirts openly in front of me all the time. then as i walk past says baby they were flirting with me. i am secure enough in our relationship and myself to tell the woman or group of women that they don't want him it took me 10 years to housebreak him, hes too old to start again. Hubby just laughs. I think that some women and men are preprogrammed to cheat based on their confidence levels in themselves and their relationships. I have a Golden Rule: You can't make him/her stay if they don't want to. If they cheat kick *kitten* and kick them out!
Damn straight. You pretty much nailed my situation with my former wife. She flirted ALL the time in front of me and it got worse and worse until one day I discovered her cheating...then one day she discovered all of her **** in our drive way just after I served her with papers.
Just want to clarify that i edited the post to show that myself or hubby have never cheated and we have been together 11+ years. Didn't want to mislead anyone0 -
Hell no. We are not wired to cheat.
Look? Yes. But looking isn't cheating.
Anthropologists may disagree only because back in the stone ages clans "cross pollinated" to improve community cohesiveness and create a common bond to protect all the children. Apes do this too.
But I would assume were have evolved a little since a million years ago. :bigsmile:
Statistically, women are now as likely to cheat as men thanks to the so-called "sexual revolution." And young woman drive just as recklessly as young men now too.0 -
I'm 43 and never ever have I physically cheated. I have flirted and still do to this day. Wife still gets ticked off at me from time to time
My hubby flirts openly in front of me all the time. then as i walk past says baby they were flirting with me. i am secure enough in our relationship and myself to tell the woman or group of women that they don't want him it took me 10 years to housebreak him, hes too old to start again. Hubby just laughs. I think that some women and men are preprogrammed to cheat based on their confidence levels in themselves and their relationships. I have a Golden Rule: You can't make him/her stay if they don't want to. If they cheat kick *kitten* and kick them out!
Damn straight. You pretty much nailed my situation with my former wife. She flirted ALL the time in front of me and it got worse and worse until one day I discovered her cheating...then one day she discovered all of her **** in our drive way just after I served her with papers.
Just want to clarify that i edited the post to show that myself or hubby have never cheated and we have been together 11+ years. Didn't want to mislead anyone
Just want to say I would feel very disrespected by my husband if he openly flirted with other women in front of me - and I would never do that to him. I think it's "playing with fire", even if you have a mutual understanding. You could go through a rough patch and all of a sudden, one of you might be tempted. I don't think it is a loving thing to do.0 -
I'm 43 and never ever have I physically cheated. I have flirted and still do to this day. Wife still gets ticked off at me from time to time
My hubby flirts openly in front of me all the time. then as i walk past says baby they were flirting with me. i am secure enough in our relationship and myself to tell the woman or group of women that they don't want him it took me 10 years to housebreak him, hes too old to start again. Hubby just laughs. I think that some women and men are preprogrammed to cheat based on their confidence levels in themselves and their relationships. I have a Golden Rule: You can't make him/her stay if they don't want to. If they cheat kick *kitten* and kick them out!
Damn straight. You pretty much nailed my situation with my former wife. She flirted ALL the time in front of me and it got worse and worse until one day I discovered her cheating...then one day she discovered all of her **** in our drive way just after I served her with papers.
Just want to clarify that i edited the post to show that myself or hubby have never cheated and we have been together 11+ years. Didn't want to mislead anyone
I didn't take it that way at all. I took it as advice - if someone is going to crush your heart, break your trust and hurt you then they don't belong in your life. I was agreeing with that part
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I have more of a propensity to cheat than my husband0
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Oooookaaaay.....
1. We are not animals.
a. Cognitive reasoning
b. Speech
c. If you don't understand the other two, we build and program computers, along with bridges, skyscrapers and indoor plumbing.
2. We sin.
a. We know what is right and do wrong
3. Just because some scientist said so doesn't mean you should believe it.0 -
You are obviously unaware of what pregnancy hormones can do to a woman's libido. :laugh:
Therefore, if said woman is pregnant - no desire to sex others.0 -
Never heard that one, actually...men are no more wired to cheat than women....depends on the person, not the gender
Yeah, but men seem to use this excuse more....
Maybe in your experience. Not mine.0 -
I didn't read through this entire thread so I'm not sure if there are serious things in here or if it's just crazy stuff. But...I find it very interesting. Is anyone WIRED to cheat? I don't think so. I think a lot of it depends on how the relationship they are in is going. If they aren't getting the attention and love that they need and desire, man or woman, it's only natural to get to a point where they are seeking what they need elsewhere. People change and as the years go by can grow apart.
The saying of "being wired to cheat" is just a copout.
And I guess there are just men who can't keep it in their pants and need to screw as many as they can. And on the other side there are women like that too.0 -
There's the evolutionary biologist again. We are not just animals. We have a conscience, we have morals, we have values. We are "wired" to love and be loved. If you want to explore that from a scientific approach, have at it.All animals that have two sexes are 'wired' to cheat - females, who invest more heavily in each gamete, need to spread their risk of choosing a dud mate, and males, who have cheap and plentiful gametes, are driven to get them into as many females as possible.0 -
yes.0
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Oooookaaaay.....
1. We are not animals.
a. Cognitive reasoning
b. Speech
c. If you don't understand the other two, we build and program computers, along with bridges, skyscrapers and indoor plumbig.
2. We sin.
a. We know what is right and do wrong
3. Just because some scientist said so doesn't mean you should believe it.
Humans are animals. Highly complicated, intelligent, emotional animals. But still animals.
Cognitive reasoning is one aspect of human biology. It could also mean it makes us clever enough to cheat and get away with it.
Speech ? So we can tell each other about it?? Not sure I get the reasoning here.
Yes, modern humans build all sorts of things. It doesn't mean we've abandoned all our biological imperatives.
'Sin' is a societal construct. It's not a concept with universal understanding by the majority of modern humans. We're talking about wiring, in the sense of instinct and natural behaviour. We put societal constraints on many of our natural urges, and we constrain them, but not every human does so, and it doesn't erase those instincts from existence. Love, faithfulness and not cheating are all good things, and many humans do them very naturally. But there are still instincts in there that can push us to do otherwise.
'right and wrong' Complicated, and not a good way to ask questions about 'wiring'. See above
Scientists generally say things that have evidentiary support provided by interrogative experimentation. It doesn't make us always right, but it certainly makes us *more likely* to be right, because we have evidence for our claims. Science is still science even if you don't like the answers!0 -
Oooookaaaay.....
1. We are not animals.
a. Cognitive reasoning
b. Speech
c. If you don't understand the other two, we build and program computers, along with bridges, skyscrapers and indoor plumbig.
2. We sin.
a. We know what is right and do wrong
3. Just because some scientist said so doesn't mean you should believe it.
Humans are animals. Highly complicated, intelligent, emotional animals. But still animals.
Cognitive reasoning is one aspect of human biology. It could also mean it makes us clever enough to cheat and get away with it.
Speech ? So we can tell each other about it?? Not sure I get the reasoning here.
Yes, modern humans build all sorts of things. It doesn't mean we've abandoned all our biological imperatives.
'Sin' is a societal construct. It's not a concept with universal understanding by the majority of modern humans. We're talking about wiring, in the sense of instinct and natural behaviour. We put societal constraints on many of our natural urges, and we constrain them, but not every human does so, and it doesn't erase those instincts from existence. Love, faithfulness and not cheating are all good things, and many humans do them very naturally. But there are still instincts in there that can push us to do otherwise.
'right and wrong' Complicated, and not a good way to ask questions about 'wiring'. See above
Scientists generally say things that have evidentiary support provided by interrogative experimentation. It doesn't make us always right, but it certainly makes us *more likely* to be right, because we have evidence for our claims. Science is still science even if you don't like the answers!
"Science is still science even if you don't like the answers! "
swoons 0 -
Science cannot answer everything, and highly intelligent scientists know this. We are not "wired" the same way as other animals. Stop pretending that you think we are.Science is still science even if you don't like the answers!0 -
i think 98% of men cheat...soo i understand this..or perhaps ive had bad experiences? idk lol
You probably pick the wrong guys.0 -
I thought men were wired to beat us over the head with clubs and commence rape.
Who knew? :noway:
I'm wired to get back in the kitchen now.
Whatever "men" you're hanging out with that use this excuse.. You should probably just not hang out with them. I think the human race is a little more advanced than that.
You got my sammich ready yet?
Is that a serious question? That *kitten* was ready before you even knew you wanted one.
This is why we're friends!!!0 -
Humans are animals. Cognitive reasoning is one aspect of human biology.
This. I'm glad to see there's at least one other smart person on MFP who understands the difference between biological imperatives vs. rational thinking, and how they coexist in the same being, and even the same brain. But ya gotta simplify...
Biological imperative: EAT CHOCOLATE CAKE UNTIL STUFFED. FEELS GOOD. NOW! NOW!!!
Cognitive reasoning: This is too much cake for my dietary needs, If I eat too much chocolate cake I'm going to be fat and miserable in the future, so I'm going to skip it.
Biological imperative: F--K SEXY HOT NEW PERSON. FEELS GOOD. NOW!! NOW! NOW!!!
Cognitive reasoning: Having sex with that person would be cheating since I promised not to. If I do I will lose the trust of my spouse, who won't trust me in the future, so I'm going to skip it.
Yes, we have "wiring" to seek sexual variety, men more so than women, since men can easily make 10 babies a day, and women can only make 1 every 9 months.. But we have rational brains to overcome that, in service of a greater goal. That's not a moral excuse to cheat, but it explains where the feelings come from.
Fortunately, these old part of our brains aren't very smart... it can be tricked with porn, 50 shades, and Splenda.0 -
"Science is still science even if you don't like the answers! " swoons
This is misguided. Science can be whatever it wants to be. Just keep changing your variables until you do like the answers, then call it science and try to make all the people buy it as absolute truth. Sorry, but I'm not buying this.0 -
I kind of thought that our ability to reason, show compassion and communicate put us above the status of a mere animal. I sure as heck don't think that we are on the same level as animals.
Saying that I believe cheating is a choice. The same way that someone may have a predisposition to be an alcoholic (based on heredity etc) but if they do not drink they will not become one. Each person is not driven by animal instinct like the animals. We have the ability to choose what we will do based on circumstances.
Talk about a cop out!!! My hubby and I have been married almost 11 years and we are both completely faithful. If men were wired to cheat then all of them would and NOT all of them do!!!0
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