Door Opening Men - a question for you

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  • monty619
    monty619 Posts: 1,308 Member
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    To the men who open the doors when a lady is behind or in front of you.

    Why?

    What prompts you to open a door for a woman?

    My reasoning for asking is simple. I have never been in a situation where there was a man immediately before or behind me where I've actually had to touch the door myself. They always, always, always open the door for me. I'm so used to it I've never noticed it.

    However, a coworker of mine has been complaining that she has never met a man in this town who will open the door for her!

    So what's the difference? Why are guys ignoring her and tripping over themselves to open doors for me?

    It can't be appearance because she dresses better, she's skinnier and she's prettier (not being modest, this is just facts). So it's not as if I'm getting special treatment because of appearance. So what else could it be?

    What is this elusive thing that will make you open the door for one woman and ignore the next? Please discuss and enlighten me. :D Thank you.

    what does your friend look like 0.o

    if she looks like a man then men might not open the door for her.
  • Chapter3point6
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    It is the way I was brought up and I am happy to say my child already demonstrates this type of common courtesy. I am sure I have encountered some attractive women that felt my action was the result of their looks, but they are mistaken. I open and hold doors for both women & men, young & old. I especially hold doors for the elderly.
  • Abaiz
    Abaiz Posts: 28 Member
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    From a young age my grandma would always have me open the door for her, she'd just stand there if she got there first. Just became second nature.
  • BBehnke84
    BBehnke84 Posts: 537 Member
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    From a young age my grandma would always have me open the door for her, she'd just stand there if she got there first. Just became second nature.

    Love that!
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
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    I'm a woman and I hold the door for everyone if they're right behind me. It's pretty rude to shut a door in someone's face.
  • TonkaDanteFriend
    TonkaDanteFriend Posts: 70 Member
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    I'm about as interested in women I open the door for as I am the elderly I stand up for on a bus or in a waiting room. Women ought not take it personally. It's usually a matter of courtesy, not of wanting to bone.
  • JoeyliciousB
    JoeyliciousB Posts: 60 Member
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    Most men in the UK tend to have very good manners so will open doors or give up a seat for you. Having said that, a guy recently pushed me out of the way to get on a bus first so he could get a seat - Charming!
  • SeaRunner26
    SeaRunner26 Posts: 5,143 Member
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    As a matter of practice, I do hold the door open for all people. It's just the way I was raised.

    But I've always been perplexed by the issue. Women want to be equal to men in every way, right? At least that's what I get from the women's rights groups and mainstream media. And I generally agre with this philosophy. The only exceptions I can think of are situations where the physical differences between a man and woman would make a serious difference such as a firefighter having to carry someone down a ladder from a burning building. And of course there are some women who can do this.

    So why is door holding an issue at all? Either you want to be equal and can open the door yourself and stand on the bus or you want to be treated as lesser and need the door held open and the seat on the bus. I'm not trying to be sexists; I just don't ge the double standard that seems to be going on. Can anyone explain this too me?
  • vv523
    vv523 Posts: 429 Member
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    Most men do it to look at a ladies back side!
  • MySunshine76
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    I raise my boys with the same manners and chivalrous behavior that was always taught in the south. And yes, they wll be in deep trouble if they don't behave like gentlemen toward a lady. However, they are also taught to be respectful to everyone, until given a good reason not to. Like yes maam, no maam, that also goes for sirs. Opening doors for everyone. Opening car doors for women. Always letting the woman be first, you know, the "ladies first" rule. It's all mainly common courtesy and respect. I was always taught, to get respect you have to give it, or you could get my daddy's belt. But one rule I can't teach my boys, that I had to learn growing up, was children are seen and not heard, so you only speak when spoken to. I think that is degrading for kids.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    I open doors for others. If I get to the door first; I open it and step to the side, so that the other person may pass through first. It's called common courtesy. I was raised that way. I call women "Ma'am" and men "Sir". I treat others in the manner that I wish to be treated.

    I have three daughters. I want them to expect and demand the same courtesies that I have given to their mother, to them and to others.

    A funny thing happens when you start showing courtesy and deference to others -- it starts coming back to you.

    I've noticed that when I open a door for someone, and after they step through, if there is a secondary door, they will usually open it and wait for me to pass through.

    I've noticed that when a clerk, salesperson or such routinely asks me how I am, and I reply, "I'm great today. How about yourself?" they relax a little and become more friendly. It's a shame that most of the time when people ask how you are doing; it's just a greeting and they could care less about your reply.
  • Easywider
    Easywider Posts: 434 Member
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    Open/hold doors, pull chairs, offer umbrella, please/thankyou/yourwelcome, salutations with a smile...to Everyone, not just women or even pretty women for that matter. Why? So I can hold my faith in humanity by leading through example.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    It can't be appearance because she dresses better, she's skinnier and she's prettier (not being modest, this is just facts). So it's not as if I'm getting special treatment because of appearance. So what else could it be?

    $10 says you have a nicer...ummm...rear view...than her.
  • sabolfitwife
    sabolfitwife Posts: 424 Member
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    They always hold the door open for me, unless I'm farther than ten or so feet away. Which is understandable, I hate that awkward jog to the door so as not to make them wait. That being said, I believe holding the door open isn't just something a man should do for a woman, I hold the door open for anyone just to be polite.
  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,358 Member
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    I open doors for others. If I get to the door first; I open it and step to the side, so that the other person may pass through first. It's called common courtesy. I was raised that way. I call women "Ma'am" and men "Sir". I treat others in the manner that I wish to be treated.

    I have three daughters. I want them to expect and demand the same courtesies that I have given to their mother, to them and to others.

    A funny thing happens when you start showing courtesy and deference to others -- it starts coming back to you.

    I've noticed that when I open a door for someone, and after they step through, if there is a secondary door, they will usually open it and wait for me to pass through.

    I've noticed that when a clerk, salesperson or such routinely asks me how I am, and I reply, "I'm great today. How about yourself?" they relax a little and become more friendly. It's a shame that most of the time when people ask how you are doing; it's just a greeting and they could care less about your reply.

    ^^^This.
  • UnderConstructionLuis
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    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.


    ^^^ This
  • jsj024519
    jsj024519 Posts: 400 Member
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    I am indifferent about this topic
  • coffee_rocks
    coffee_rocks Posts: 275 Member
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    I will always hold a door open for a lady, regardless of looks, age, etc. I never enter an elevator before a lady either, always holding it open until they have entered.

    Guys are on there own. :laugh:
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
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    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

    ^^^^^