Door Opening Men - a question for you

the only time I "dart ahead" of anyone, male or female, is if they are carrying a baby, pushing a stroller, or have some sort of injury or disability. That's the polite thing to do. And as someone who carries babies and toddlers and pushes strollers regularly and has had some pretty serious injuries...there are not enough people out there who do this sort of thing.

I think you're just encountering different men with different habits.

What's similar and always interesting to me is men who do or don't let ladies go ahead of them when waiting to get on the bus. I take public transportation to work daily and in the morning in my neighborhood I am almost always allowed to walk in front of any gentlemen lined up. In the afternoon going home it seems everyone scrambles to get on - it's not even a cohesive line but a mob of folks trying to get a seat. Once in a while a guy or two will let the ladies go first (or even curiouser, only one or two of the ladeis) but it's much more rare in that occasion.

last weekend we were traveling. i was at a gas station that had double doors. one guy that actually looked kinda scummy held the door open for me. i smiled and said thankyou. when i turned to go through the second door the nice looking gentleman cowboy litterally closed the door on my face. i was shocked!

When a person opens a door for me, I see it as a polite gesture. Nothing more, nothing less.

I open doors for anyone nearby, man or woman, and hold them open. Considering that most doors in public places close on their own due to hydraulic arms on the top of them it would seem like a safety hazard not to. It's simply safer this way.

EDIT: That being said if it's a normal door that you have to close behind you on its own I more than likely wouldn't. The main reason being is because in order to do that I would have to reach the door first, but I like walking slightly behind the person I'm with as it makes me feel safer and more secure having them in my field of vision at all times. I like being able to see the person without having to actually make eye contact as eye contact makes me uncomfortable, and the easiest way is to walk slightly behind them.

I do it all the time as well... although one time a feminazi wouldn't walk through the door. (awkward) Now if I get that vibe, I won't hold it.

Feminazi. Love that word. And those types of women piss me the heck off. They ruin it for the old fashioned gals like me. Who wouldn't want a gentleman to hold the door for them? I don't get it.

i would never date a guy who doesn't open doors. at some point in my life i started expecting from other people to open the door for me, for example when i'm shopping with my mom or friends i always wait for them to open the door. it's ok they don't get mad, they make fun of me and say things like "she forgot how to open doors"

I can't explain it, but I find this a bit rude that if you were the first one in a group to reach a door you would simply stand there and wait for another person in the group to open the door for you. If you were one of my friends the joke wouldn't be "she forgto how to open doors" but instead "what makes you feel superior?" Like I said, I can't explain why I had a pretty strong reaction to this post, but I did. I find the whole process of opening doors an issue of respect in many ways, and not holding a door open for another person or enen expecting them to constantly open the door for you shows a lack of respect for them.

Agreed. If you get to the door first and you just stand there waiting for the other person to open it for you it only makes you seem like a narcissistic ***** with a self-entitlement complex. It would more than likely set off a red flag even in gentleman who would otherwise be more than happy to open a door for you.

I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

This.

I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

^^yep

I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

Snap!

I do it pretty much for what a lot of others have already said.... it's just a common courtesy thing. I do it for anyone that's within a couple of steps or so of the door.... and sometimes me being in a wheelchair kind of throws some people off and they almost sprint to the door as if I'm in some kind of distress holding it open for them, when in actuality the chair makes a pretty good door stop.

I don't understand why some women feel it's "demeaning". When someone opens a door for you, it's a gesture of courtesy and respect. They obviously don't think you're too weak to open a door. Thank them, be happy there are still nice people in this world, and go about your day. I hate that some men are afraid to be nice to me because they think I'll go all femi-nazi on them. I think it's really sweet when anyone (male or female) opens a door for me, and I always hold the door for the people behind me. I also open doors for people if I see them holding something in both hands or pushing a stroller.

My dad is still old-fashioned and even goes so far as to help me with my coat when we're dressed up for a wedding or Christmas. He walks on the outside (road side) of the sidewalk too. He raised my brother to be a gentleman and taught me to be a lady. We're both better for it.

Maybe it's her attitude / confidence? Does she smile / come off as friendly or happy?

I don't gender-discriminate if holding the door is convenient or useful. If someone is immediately behind me, I'll at least give the door an extra push so it will be open and ready for them to catch when they go to grab it. If someone is carrying something in both hands and/or it looks like they need help with the door, I'll wait for a reasonable time if they are nearby and hold the door open.

However, I do have a bias toward waiting a few extra seconds to hold the door if it's a woman. It's how my pappy brought me up, and I occasionally get some nasty negativity over it, but it's just what my generation was taught was right and proper. and I frequently get a smile and a pleasant "thank you".

For the people who are mean and nasty about it, I just ignore them, or if it's too nasty I simply explain that my father always taught me to hold the door for a lady, and apologize for mistaking them for one.