Door Opening Men - a question for you

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  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    My husband always says that if there comes a day when he doesn't open that door his grandmother will come out the grave just to tell him about himself.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    Hippo or Gazelle, I'm opening the door for you.

    <3 Haha!
  • girlykate143
    girlykate143 Posts: 220 Member
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    I've noticed it can also be a cultural thing or a head-in-the-clouds thing. People are in deep thought or thinking about math (ha!) and they are so focused on themselves that they don't think to hold a door. It's not about class or lack of respect, it just IS sometimes.
    I do usually hold a door for someone who's behind me when I know they are. It's just a learned behavior. I don't get offended when it doesn't happen to me, but on the flipside, when they go out of their way to rush up to the door to open it, I will blush.
  • VanessaHeartsMasr
    VanessaHeartsMasr Posts: 727
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    I do it all the time as well... although one time a feminazi wouldn't walk through the door. (awkward) Now if I get that vibe, I won't hold it.
    Feminazi. Love that word. And those types of women piss me the heck off. They ruin it for the old fashioned gals like me. Who wouldn't want a gentleman to hold the door for them? I don't get it.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    i would never date a guy who doesn't open doors. at some point in my life i started expecting from other people to open the door for me, for example when i'm shopping with my mom or friends i always wait for them to open the door. it's ok they don't get mad, they make fun of me and say things like "she forgot how to open doors" :)

    I can't explain it, but I find this a bit rude that if you were the first one in a group to reach a door you would simply stand there and wait for another person in the group to open the door for you. If you were one of my friends the joke wouldn't be "she forgto how to open doors" but instead "what makes you feel superior?" Like I said, I can't explain why I had a pretty strong reaction to this post, but I did. I find the whole process of opening doors an issue of respect in many ways, and not holding a door open for another person or enen expecting them to constantly open the door for you shows a lack of respect for them.
  • contingencyplan
    contingencyplan Posts: 3,639 Member
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    i would never date a guy who doesn't open doors. at some point in my life i started expecting from other people to open the door for me, for example when i'm shopping with my mom or friends i always wait for them to open the door. it's ok they don't get mad, they make fun of me and say things like "she forgot how to open doors" :)

    I can't explain it, but I find this a bit rude that if you were the first one in a group to reach a door you would simply stand there and wait for another person in the group to open the door for you. If you were one of my friends the joke wouldn't be "she forgto how to open doors" but instead "what makes you feel superior?" Like I said, I can't explain why I had a pretty strong reaction to this post, but I did. I find the whole process of opening doors an issue of respect in many ways, and not holding a door open for another person or enen expecting them to constantly open the door for you shows a lack of respect for them.

    Agreed. If you get to the door first and you just stand there waiting for the other person to open it for you it only makes you seem like a narcissistic ***** with a self-entitlement complex. It would more than likely set off a red flag even in gentleman who would otherwise be more than happy to open a door for you.
  • Vince_1964
    Vince_1964 Posts: 359 Member
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    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

    ^^^ This ... I do the same - regardless of age, sex, race, looks, etc. It's just manners ...
  • Sox90716
    Sox90716 Posts: 976 Member
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    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

    This.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    I always have men opening doors for me....

    I've had men stand at the door and wait up to five minutes for me just so they could hold the door open (I was taking my time grabbing things from my car and locking it up).....

    so I don't know why another woman would have this problem....most men have the good manners to do this.

    I also hold open doors for people ....maybe it's karma?
  • davert123
    davert123 Posts: 1,568 Member
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    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

    ^^yep
  • bugaha1
    bugaha1 Posts: 602 Member
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    I do it for women I’m with if I can beat you to the door without having to run. Actually door openers also open them and let men or women through. We are a nonsexist group =)
  • kayl3igh88
    kayl3igh88 Posts: 428 Member
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    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

    Snap!
  • AnninStPaul
    AnninStPaul Posts: 1,372 Member
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    I find the look on my face incites the behavior. Happy face = polite strangers. Sour puss = open your own door. Being dressed like a girl also increases the odds.
  • blazergrad
    blazergrad Posts: 603 Member
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    I do it pretty much for what a lot of others have already said.... it's just a common courtesy thing. I do it for anyone that's within a couple of steps or so of the door.... and sometimes me being in a wheelchair kind of throws some people off and they almost sprint to the door as if I'm in some kind of distress holding it open for them, when in actuality the chair makes a pretty good door stop. :wink:
  • ZoeLifts
    ZoeLifts Posts: 10,347 Member
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    So she's saying they just let the door go in her face? Sounds like most women I encounter when walking into or out of a business. :noway:

    FTR- I hold the door for anyone within a few steps of reaching it. I consider it rude to let it go when they are about to reach it.

    ^^ For real! I'm a woman, but always hold the door open for people when I can and there are plenty of both men and women that do the same for me if they are in front. But the ones that realy annoy me, and they are usually women, go sauntering through a door they have had to open for themselves because no one was in front, and never look back as they let it swing back right into my face. And this is usually AFTER I have just held the door open for them!

    To the OP, maybe your friend never returns the favor and it's karma swinging back to smack her in the face? Just Kidding, but you never know :wink:
  • EnchantedEvening
    EnchantedEvening Posts: 671 Member
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    I don't understand why some women feel it's "demeaning". When someone opens a door for you, it's a gesture of courtesy and respect. They obviously don't think you're too weak to open a door. Thank them, be happy there are still nice people in this world, and go about your day. I hate that some men are afraid to be nice to me because they think I'll go all femi-nazi on them. I think it's really sweet when anyone (male or female) opens a door for me, and I always hold the door for the people behind me. I also open doors for people if I see them holding something in both hands or pushing a stroller.

    My dad is still old-fashioned and even goes so far as to help me with my coat when we're dressed up for a wedding or Christmas. He walks on the outside (road side) of the sidewalk too. He raised my brother to be a gentleman and taught me to be a lady. We're both better for it.
  • barrie0
    barrie0 Posts: 6
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    I will always open the door for anybody, as it's just manners. What does bug me though is when the person can't even be bothered to say "thanks" or something like that. It usually ends up with me muttering a few £$%"'! under my breath if they just ignore you.:)
  • SyntonicGarden
    SyntonicGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    Maybe it's her attitude / confidence? Does she smile / come off as friendly or happy?
  • ethansmug
    ethansmug Posts: 159 Member
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    I don't hold doors open for anyone, in fact if there is a way to lock it behind me I do. The only exception is if it is an elevator shaft, I hold those doors open for people.
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
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    I don't gender-discriminate if holding the door is convenient or useful. If someone is immediately behind me, I'll at least give the door an extra push so it will be open and ready for them to catch when they go to grab it. If someone is carrying something in both hands and/or it looks like they need help with the door, I'll wait for a reasonable time if they are nearby and hold the door open.

    However, I do have a bias toward waiting a few extra seconds to hold the door if it's a woman. It's how my pappy brought me up, and I occasionally get some nasty negativity over it, but it's just what my generation was taught was right and proper. and I frequently get a smile and a pleasant "thank you".

    For the people who are mean and nasty about it, I just ignore them, or if it's too nasty I simply explain that my father always taught me to hold the door for a lady, and apologize for mistaking them for one.

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