What do men want?

I want my SO to be exactly who she is. Trying to attain a certain ideal to appease or appeal to your desired sex is counterproductive.

Be yourself. If things click with someone else, great. If not, they're not the person for you.

Personally I blame Sex in the City for portraying MEN as emotional objects

Yes, We are that shallow, no we don;t care it your friends kid is turning two and they are having a party on sunday at 2, and the game is on.

I love when woman say "oh, hes so deep and quiet" "He's real dark". We ain;t sitting there thinking about emotions and feelings, we are sitting there thinking "how the f**k do I get her to shut the f**k up and blow me"

I understand that, and don't have a problem with it. I normally don't delve into emotions with him. It's just lately I feel like *kitten*. You know, the whole unwanted, undesirable thing.

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. But I wanted to just let you know that I think you just answered your own thread question. I think your feelings about yourself and feeling undesirable is really not about him. You just are lacking confidence in yourself. I think men want a woman with confidence. I may be wrong because I'm not a guy. However, I really think you need to focus on what makes you happy. Do your own thing. He'll come around. Good luck to you.:flowerforyou:

Men want the same thing women want without all the bull**** behind it.
Think like him, and you'll have your answer.

^ Beautifully put!

Personally I blame Sex in the City for portraying MEN as emotional objects

Yes, We are that shallow, no we don;t care it your friends kid is turning two and they are having a party on sunday at 2, and the game is on.

I love when woman say "oh, hes so deep and quiet" "He's real dark". We ain;t sitting there thinking about emotions and feelings, we are sitting there thinking "how the f**k do I get her to shut the f**k up and blow me"

I understand that, and don't have a problem with it. I normally don't delve into emotions with him. It's just lately I feel like *kitten*. You know, the whole unwanted, undesirable thing.

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. But I wanted to just let you know that I think you just answered your own thread question. I think your feelings about yourself and feeling undesirable is really not about him. You just are lacking confidence in yourself. I think men want a woman with confidence. I may be wrong because I'm not a guy. However, I really think you need to focus on what makes you happy. Do your own thing. He'll come around. Good luck to you.:flowerforyou:

this.

do something to make yourself feel fab. decide to love yourself dear. be happy, and he will be happy. let him see the light within you glowing through you, in your smile and twinkle in your eyes.

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So why do men ever leave their mothers?
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Your kidding right?

Me to my husband: What do you want?

My Husband: jalapenos on my pizza but first I need to go to the bathroom.


In summation, men want jalapenos on their pizza and to poop. Glad I could help.

Maybe he was just peeing. And jalapeños on all the things!

Personally, as a man, I would like a partner in all things,but also one who apreciates the things that I do for them. One who splits the chores and actually does their share, one who helps to take care of the kids and doesn't just dump them and leave when she gets stressed. One who doesn't nag but rather talks about what is going on so a solution can be found and followed. One who doesn't see free time with friends as being lazy-even if it is. One who doesn't really mind that I blew up a small side and roof of the barn with one of my experiments (oops). One who doesn't sit around and watch that lifetime crap when there are much better things to do in life outside. One who appreciates and recriprocates. And yes, one who thinks that sex actually happens more than several times a year and will even initiate it once and awhile. In short, one who has my back as I have hers. I always say, "It's you and me against the world... when do we attack?"

From your post, this isn't happening. However, have you talked to him? Men aren't mind readers. We don't take 'hints'. Have you told him hey, I want you to do X,Y,Z for me? Hell, we rarely even listen to complaining for more than a minute before we tune out. Same goes with emotional stuff, most of us have NO IDEA why that should bother you and if it does, why you don't want to change it v.s. complain about it. If we have had a hard day then no, we don't want to be pestered before we have time to relax.
Oh, and the ones who said that you should get some interests outside of him and the family are spot on; ends up being better for both parties if new ideas/experiences are brought to the discussion once and a while. Not only will it make you happier, it will make you healthier. The same conversation can only be repeated a few dozen times before it just becomes monotonous, even if paraphrased differently.

GRRRR! Edited because I am too cheap to buy a new keyboard and my kids have spilled soda on this one. I MAY have fixed all the errors, but perhaps no.

It's so sad -- to mourn the loss of a relationship or lament over it even before the beginning of the end of the process begins. It's sad when you are left feeling unappreciated, unloved, and unhappy. It's sad when you feel you've tried and tried to no avail. This is what I'm hearing you say. Yes, blowing him a big kiss good night will help with intimacy. Darning his favorite sexy outfit will show him that you care about what drives him nuts. Yes, leaving him alone to give him space and understanding will help as well. All of these things will work towards the greater good. But if this is about him -- which it sounds like it is, and you have done everything you can to find a common ground and least raise the red flag that something is wrong by trying to talk to him, then I suggest you stop flogging that dead horse and take action. Whatever action that is, is totally up to you. I am 44 years old and I've been married to the same man for eighteen years. In addition to marrying my husband, I also married the military. We have seen two deployments since 2004. What I can tell you from experience is that love is a verb -- that means it is an action word. And loving someone takes hard work and comittment to have a return investment. Some people are emotionally unavailable and they don't even know they aren't plugging in. Some people have emotional baggage that keeps going around and around on the luggage wheel and they will never pick it up and deal with it. Some are completely aware of it and are fair and open about that aspect of themselves. If you feel that the love is gone in your marriage and you are struggling to keep it together, begin with actions of love. There are many good suggestions here on this thread. Some that incude sammies... some that include hummers... and some that just suggest to talk with him. I guess the bottom line here is what men want is to simply be loved in whatever capacity they are telling you so openly today. So love him. Sometimes that's hard to do when the emotional bank account has too many withdrawls instead of deposits. The neglect has set in and the trust is nearly gone. We start to entertain thoughts of, "But they aren't trying, so why should I??" I promise you though, if you've truly given it all you've got, and it doesn't work out -- you're still flogging that dead horse, then you will at least know you've tried everything. Just take it one day at a time. But if you think you've already failed without giving it all you've got, you will always make it about you and never be able to move on. If he truly loves you and values the relationship, he will respond accordingly. Seriously.... the hubby came home from deployment number two with horrible PTSD -- marriage really struggling because of it. So I get it. Really do. But how you choose to respond is entirely up to you. Men aren't big mysteries wrapped up in enigmas -- they're human beings. And they're telling you what they want today -- candidly. I hope yours will, too. :flowerforyou:

Seems as though 98% of men could live at home in a basement with their mothers to get homecooked meals, sports package on the tv, buy a blow up doll to pork, shove a vacuum cleaner hose on the end of their *kitten* to get it sucked while drinking beer and that'd be their ideal life.

Count me in the 2% then because that sounds horrible

to live a long and happy retirement with my wife and family.

:drinker: