What do men want?

have him do all the things in the house! If he does not like sports maybe he will like it when you are watching the sports

I've been married two years so I've pretty much figured out what he wants.
He doesn't "get" hints and crazy woman emotions lol. If I vent, he thinks that I want him to do something about it.
He looooves feeling needed. Cannot stress this enough.
As for me, he loves when my hair is down, when I wear tight jeans and heels. He hates when I show too much cleavage in public, as do I, so it matches lol
He loves when I cook for him, and clean. But I do force him to help clean. But I don't make him clean up after our 4 month old puppy haha
He loves when I surprise him with little notes in his work lunches.
Massages.
Being quiet during his favorite shows lol. and I appreciate the same thing!
Just little things like these

Well to me it sounds like you are trying to justify a possible separation/divorce. I guess you need to do some real soul searching to see if you want to save your marriage. If you do (which I strongly recommend) you need to express them to him and together start working on repairing your marriage. It's hard for both sides to admit mistakes, but in most cases both parties have to be honest and look at themselves as to why it isn't working.

I can't speak for every man, but by reading the replies most men really don't want a relationship, but a maid with benefits. Someone to clean the house, do the laundry, make meals and pleasure when needed.

A true relationship is each partner putting 100% towards their partner. Love is something that is misunderstood in today's world. Love is a selfless act towards another, not thinking that person is hot and being attracted to them. To make a relationship work each must want to do what is best for their partner. If that is the goal of each, you will find a great relationship.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not delusional and think this happens all the time. We are human, we all make mistakes and tend to be selfish at times. Being able to fix those mistakes and forgive is what will make the relationship work. Let's face it, we have all had fights and if you are in a healthy relationship you are able to get passed the disagreement. Plus making up is pretty fun too!

I can say that in the 14 years (this November) that I have been married to my wife I haven't always done this. I now have found that in doing this it makes something that is so special it is invaluable! I love my wife more than life and am so happy that I am married to her. I truly hope you can turn your relationship with your husband into this. Just remember what love is really about and work as hard as you can and you will find real happiness. Good luck!

THIS is perfect.

This past year with my husband was really difficult. And divorce was definitely on the table. He screwed up. A lot. But I was still committed to my marriage vows. And I realized that even though he hurt me, it would hurt a million times more if I left him and was crying all the time, and then saw him get married to someone else and have some other girl's kids. Love is hard. If it was easy, it wouldn't mean anything. Best of luck!

Always looking sharp.
Smelling great.
Sex whenever he wants it.
Making dinner, all meals really, but dinner is important. and sammich's whenever he needs one
And, dont talk when sports are on tv.
and, keep the house clean.

I mean, that's it. you do those things, and he'll be the happiest man on earth.

^^^This!!!

I'll just add: If children are in the picture, stay home and raise them. Don't hand them off to someone else to do all the dirty work. If you raise them right, they'll turn out to be good adults.

That's all a woman ever needs to do to keep her man happy. The men can do the rest.

So you're saying the woman shouldn't work?

Yes.

A little behind the times much?

^ Nah, not a little. A lot. Unfortunately misogynistic views like this are common.

I would looooove to be able to not work!! That would be amazing. But I'm a full time employee and student! And I have a lazy husband so I have to do most of the housework. lol

Personally I blame Sex in the City for portraying MEN as emotional objects

Yes, We are that shallow, no we don;t care it your friends kid is turning two and they are having a party on sunday at 2, and the game is on.

I love when woman say "oh, hes so deep and quiet" "He's real dark". We ain;t sitting there thinking about emotions and feelings, we are sitting there thinking "how the f**k do I get her to shut the f**k up and blow me"

Oh this made me LOL. HA.

Alright, this is what I get for not reading the thread, just the OP. I'm sorry, OP. It sounds like the water runs a lot deeper than you just trying to make your husband happy. Girl, he has to make you happy for you to make him happy. Otherwise your paddle against the current in the Bitter River.

Personally, as a man, I would like a partner in all things,but also one who apreciates the things that I do for them. One who splits the chores and actually does their share, one who helps to take care of the kids and doesn't just dump them and leave when she gets stressed. One who doesn't nag but rather talks about what is going on so a solution can be found and followed. One who doesn't see free time with friends as being lazy-even if it is. One who doesn't really mind that I blew up a small side and roof of the barn with one of my experiments (oops). One who doesn't sit around and watch that lifetime crap when there are much better things to do in life outside. One who appreciates and recriprocates. And yes, one who thinks that sex actually happens more than several times a year and will even initiate it once and awhile. In short, one who has my back as I have hers. I always say, "It's you and me against the world... when do we attack?"

From your post, this isn't happening. However, have you talked to him? Men aren't mind readers. We don't take 'hints'. Have you told him hey, I want you to do X,Y,Z for me? Hell, we rarely even listen to complaining for more than a minute before we tune out. Same goes with emotional stuff, most of us have NO IDEA why that should bother you and if it does, why you don't want to change it v.s. complain about it. If we have had a hard day then no, we don't want to be pestered before we have time to relax.
Oh, and the ones who said that you should get some interests outside of him and the family are spot on; ends up being better for both parties if new ideas/experiences are brought to the discussion once and a while. Not only will it make you happier, it will make you healthier. The same conversation can only be repeated a few dozen times before it just becomes monotonous, even if paraphrased differently.

GRRRR! Edited because I am too cheap to buy a new keyboard and my kids have spilled soda on this one. I MAY have fixed all the errors, but perhaps no.

Yeah I did all that and more. Not saying I was perfect but I did my best to treat him like a king only to be ignored. Sometimes it just isn't going to work and you have to move on. He regrets not appreciating my efforts now, but it's too late. You can only survive being low on the priority list for so long especially when there are others out there that are happy to reciprocate.

I can't speak for every man, but by reading the replies most men really don't want a relationship, but a maid with benefits. Someone to clean the house, do the laundry, make meals and pleasure when needed.

This.

I'm a cook by trade so I can make my own meals

The vast majority of men do not want high maintenance ladies.

Ladies, if you're going to insist on being high maintenance, you should be prepared to justify it. He's going to need a lot of convincing to believe it's worth the effort.

You know what I mean....

ummm you think that we just wake up in the morning and look so fabulous?

i never get it when guys who go for women who obviously put in a lot of effort, then say this! if low-maintenance is what you want then go for the girl in sweats and a t-shirt who's happy with no make up and nevr does her hair.

i take pride in how i look, not FOR YOU, but because i want to look my best every damn day!

That's not really what I meant by "maintenance".

Think of it from the man's perspective - and I don't mean for that to come off as jerkish, I'm just trying to explain the context of my comment. I don't really care how much time she spends putting herself together as long as she doesn't need me to stand there and watch or help. When I am forced to watch or help, or made to feel like a jerk because I didn't watch or help, that's maintenance.

By maintenance, I was referring to things such as (but not limited to):

-Peppering the man with loaded or rhetorical questions, demanding answers, and getting upset when the answers are incorrect. This is a personal pet peeve of mine - I am not interested in navigating "traps" in relationships, and hence I married a woman that does not play those kinds of games (most of the time).
-Requiring the man to drive a certain level of car, wear a certain level of clothing, buy an exorbitant amount of "just because" gifts, etc.
-Requiring the man to always address her with a level of "schmoopiness" or deference, anytime there is a conversation to be had (I know couples like this, and it is painful to listen to them).
-Requiring the man to accompany her to many, many events that he despises. Occasional trips to the opera are one thing, but IMO relationships work much better when each person pursues their own interests and if they don't share a particular interest, they don't spend a ton of time trying to force it. Along the same lines, a woman who hates baseball cannot be expected to watch every game with her man. Etc.
-Requiring the man to buy/pay for large amounts of vanity items such as shoes, purses, dresses, jewelry, perfumes, etc. Again, it's one thing to look nice and it's good to occasionally buy your SO things that make them look and feel nice. I'm referring to the sorts of women that need entire walk-in closets for their shoes.

In short, if the woman is going to require the man to put her up on a pedestal like that in order to keep her happy, it's only fair that she should be a sport when it comes to keeping him happy. That's all I was getting at.

Oh god that made me laugh, You just described my sister to a T and then she spends hours on the phone to me wondering why her guys get fed up with her!

So to summarise -

Sandwich

Bacon

Jalapenos

lots of Oral

Sounds like heaven :smokin:

Thanks for the cliff notes, that's a long *kitten* thread!

All this advice is worthless, unless one of those responding was your man.

Not all men are the same, so getting advice from another man isn't normally going to help in your relationship. Neither is getting advice from another woman. For example - more oral is not necessarily what he wants. Sex (no matter how good it is) does not equate to love.

You have to communicate with your man to know what your man wants. Unfortunately, some men aren't very good at communicating. But then, some women are not, either.

There are some men that are looking for more than a maid, cook, and concubine. I love the fact that my wife cleans, cooks, and shares a bed with me, but that's not why I love my wife. She does that because she loves me, not because she thinks it makes me love her.

Be his friend. Stand by him. Support him in what he does. Show appreciation for what he does for you. Don't fuss or nag about what he doesn't do. Let him know that you love him by how you act toward him.

Figure out what his "love language" is, without asking him. If you don't know what that means, read the book "Five Love Languages", and use it as a guide to determine what your man's love language is. Then practice it - constantly, but keep in mind, your man might have more than one, or a mixture of them.

There's no magic bullet. A good relationship requires a lot of effort, but when you truly love the other person, that isn't a bad thing. There is nothing better than knowing you've done something that helped or pleased the one you love.

Bacon, Get sexy for no reason, pick your battles wisely, and of course halftime head

Aha hahahaha Love it... Keepin' things simple.......

Sex is like air....
Neither matters until you're not getting any!

Seriously - Lots of good, bad, and ugly advice. You want to know, ask him.

I agree with paulbarnhart's response. Most of this advice is completely worthless unless your fella is the one who posted it. It is ridiculous to generalize men (or women) to such an extent that we pretend everybody wants the same thing. Not every man wants to sit around watching football while his wife scrubs the floors and makes meat loafs. There are men who seek such an arrangement, but then there are others looking for an intellectual equal as well as a sexual partner. Not all men have communication issues, can't talk about their feelings, and have trouble admitting when something is wrong. It is ridiculous to claim that an entire gender suffers from these problems because of differences in brain chemistry. There are many men who are great communicators just as there are many women who have communication issues. And to use your gender as an excuse for bad behavior? Well, that's just nonsense. Any issues can be met with and changed if that is what a person wants.

My fella and I have been together for just over a year, and we have a great relationship. We love each other, share interests, are good friends, and communicate freely. Every person deserves to be with somebody who adores them. If you have been trying to please your husband and all to no avail, there are probably serious relationship issues that need to be addressed. If the two of you are a true love match he shouldn't want you to be anything other than yourself. Yeah, my boyfriend loves it that I am a great cook, highly sexual, and don't let our house become a messy nightmare. But he also cooks and cleans, and he loves me just as much even when I am sick and useless or having a bad day. He loves me when I don't clean, don't feel like cooking, and don't want to have sex because I've got cramps. He doesn't expect me to do or be anything other than myself. We love each other as equals with similar goals and lifestyles, and every human deserves that. You are good enough to love and be loved in returned.

What do you want? What do you expect out of a relationship? If your answers don't match the answers of your boyfriend then there isn't much point in pouring effort into a match that may not be the best for either of you.