Cheating on your Spouse

Maybe they've tried the whole "communication" thing. Trying to work on their relationship and end up going back into the same routine...same non-caring ritual. Could be they've tried that "working on it" a few times. Who knows...we are not in their shoes and everyone is different and reacts differently

My opinion is.........you don't know and won't know until or unless you are in that situation. It is easy for us to say we would do this or that...but really....you just don't know....no one does.

I know.

My actions are worse? Okay. I'm guessing you're one of her friends, or a fellow cheater. You make me laugh.

Not at all. I was just the child in that situation and it sucked. And none of it was my fault, but I suffered most. Lauren's SO abused her. She reacted the only way she could think to at the time. As did you. You hurt innocent children. She hurt an abuser. Which is worse?

Are both wrong in their ways? Sure. But one is definitely worse than the other.

Unlike you, though, I won't lecture and chastise someone for making the only decision she could in the moment. You have a lot of nerve, though.

How can you sit there and say that she hurt her children??? She saved her children from having to experience what you went through and yet you are coming down on her for removing her children from the exact environment that you painfully had to grow up in.... So what are you saying she should have done exactly??

I just feel like its really not a true answer to the question. Think about it - Put yourself in the shoes of a miserable husband who is thinking of cheating on his wife.

Why not just tell her that instead of just cheating?

What if she/he does tell the other and they just ignore the communication. I can only guess at that point, they figure - what the hell.

In my case I put up with so much with my husband and stuck beside him finally it came to the point where I couldn't any more.. No longer loved him no longer was in love ended up falling for a friend of mines... I told my husband over and over that I wanted out of our marriage he would have no such thing it was always we should be together for the kids. I don't care what you want I still love you so I can make you love me again. But that is just my case my spouse wouldn't let I'm done be done... At this point I Filed for a Divorce rather he wants it or not because in the end me being un happy is not good for my kids either regardless we will both still be their parents. For other people I think it's fear of the other relationship not working so they want to hold on to the other relationship just in case. Also the hurt of telling them you want out. I don't think its a right or wrong answer each case is different.

There are times when a person continues to tell their spouse what they are not happy about and it goes through one ear and out the other..someone in that relationship may not be listening..and all it takes is for one person to listen to their problems. Maybe show some attention that they havent received in a long time.

This ^

I agree -- absolutely this.

My actions are worse? Okay. I'm guessing you're one of her friends, or a fellow cheater. You make me laugh.

Not at all. I was just the child in that situation and it sucked. And none of it was my fault, but I suffered most. Lauren's SO abused her. She reacted the only way she could think to at the time. As did you. You hurt innocent children. She hurt an abuser. Which is worse?

Are both wrong in their ways? Sure. But one is definitely worse than the other.

Unlike you, though, I won't lecture and chastise someone for making the only decision she could in the moment. You have a lot of nerve, though.

I ABSOLUTELY did NOT hurt my children and neither did their dad. He was a horrible husband, but he NEVER hurt them ever. Your implications are disgusting that I would ever do anything to them. **** you.

It's interesting to me how angry you are.

I didn't say you hurt your children. But you did bear them into a marriage with someone who abused you. And if you think that because they were small when you left him that it didn't affect them, you're in denial.

All I'm saying is, if you're going to throw stones, make sure you don't live in a glass house.

YOu are no better than the person you're practically screaming at through the computer screen for making a choice you don't agree with. You made a decision I don't agree with, but I am not and was not in your place at the time.

if you are so OK with what you've done, why are you so angry and defensive?

There are times when a person continues to tell their spouse what they are not happy about and it goes through one ear and out the other..someone in that relationship may not be listening..and all it takes is for one person to listen to their problems. Maybe show some attention that they havent received in a long time.

This ^

I agree -- absolutely this.

I absolutely disagree with this. Sometimes you can better your relationship through communication. Sometimes you can compromise. Sometimes you can't. You do not stay in the bad relationship and seek fulfillment in another relationship. You're being dishonest to your partner, to your new "fling" and to yourself.

Everybody here is justifiying dishonesty. There's no shame in trying, failing and moving on. There is no good reason to cheat.

Hey, I'm sorry you were faithful and got dumped on/ abused / cheated on / ignored. It doesn't make you an honorable person when you perpetuate more of the same.

There are a lot of people out there looking for an equal partner. If you settle for less, you deserve less.

There are times when a person continues to tell their spouse what they are not happy about and it goes through one ear and out the other..someone in that relationship may not be listening..and all it takes is for one person to listen to their problems. Maybe show some attention that they havent received in a long time.

This ^

I agree -- absolutely this.

I absolutely disagree with this. Sometimes you can better your relationship through communication. Sometimes you can compromise. Sometimes you can't. You do not stay in the bad relationship and seek fulfillment in another relationship. You're being dishonest to your partner, to your new "fling" and to yourself.

Everybody here is justifiying dishonesty. There's no shame in trying, failing and moving on. There is no good reason to cheat.

Hey, I'm sorry you were faithful and got dumped on/ abused / cheated on / ignored. It doesn't make you an honorable person when you perpetuate more of the same.

There are a lot of people out there looking for an equal partner. If you settle for less, you deserve less.

You make excellent, valid points that fall deaf on the ears of those who lack integrity and character.

I used to wonder the same thing.

Perhaps it's NOT that they are unhappy, but rather, immature, greedy and selfish. Perhaps they have no conscience. Perhaps their spouses feelings simply didn't occur to them. They want what they want and they take it. Some people just should not get married. They have no sense of what commitment and responsibility really are. Makes me sick.