Dear Abby, Why aren't don't older chicks try to be hotter?
Replies
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I wouldn't consider him a catch.
If I caught him, I'd throw him back.0 -
Sexism: in reading many of the comments there appears to be a lot of resentment around the general issue of a guy/girl/person saying they feel or think they are a catch. Misguided it maybe for some, many or most to think this. What is a catch? Sexism and the difference between men and women play a part. Women unadmittedly or admittedly see a guy as being a catch is he has a job etc good looking etc. It is not brain surgery. If you ask most women or go on a dating site etc and say you are unemployed chances are as a guy most women will not show an interest unless the guy is david beckam brad pitt lookalike maybe. On the otherhand most guys do not select women (their ideal partner) on whether she has a job but simple attractiveness, to him, whilst other things may come in down the line depending on whether he is thinking of dating or marrying ie introducing to parents and family. So it is firstly not to be denied men and women think different. Women they say seek out a good provider even if some women will argue they don't or that they are independent etc. Some still look to the man to be providers and some men play into these roles and some women too. Looking Good for Partner: the guys letter is jumped on - I won't defend it but will say the response is a bit harsh whilst the way it is written also stereotypes women over 40.
There is also the question of like with any age group 20s 30s or 50s its where you look for a partner and what type of partner one seeks. If I go out in Mayfair, Chelsea, Knightbridge London 90% of the women regardless of age group are well presented as it is the most expensive areas in London. Thus it is silly to say why do one age group let self go - it is all about if you want to go out and find attractive persons male or female driving Bentleys wearing the best cloths go to areas where it is common - common sense - on a weekend in supermarket chances are 90% of those dressing to the nines on night out will dress down so it is for this reason the guys letter falls slightly but then onto letting self go - speaking from personal experience people in 30s - 40s begin to experience people passing away, stress, depression, loss of business jobs etc and can begin to let themselves go after a while. Someone mentioned self esteem - yes this is true buuuut having a memver of family who lost both parents young and another family member with cancer and kids wgich causes weight increase etc people in later life concerned with bringing kids up etc may have priority when money is tight on all orher things but looking good for a guy or girl in 40s who sees self as catch and wants a supermarket of guys or girls to select from looking good.
Reality check:
In 40s life begins to change for majority thus guys and girls looking the image of perfection you need to look in the right places. It doesn't have to be the playboy or playgirl mansion (sexist reply re playboy mansion) as some women in 40s see selves as catch and want guys looking good in every way - its human nature - no hot woman in her 40s etc looking good and knowing it is going out with some smuck - and some women who replied stated their bf is years younger ie referring to implkying that they look so good that they attract younger guys - but in turning that what do women think of guys who go for girls 8-15 years younger? When a women does it is seen as token of how great one looks. So there is the obvious sexism in certain replies and reality being going back to primitive times man and women would be attracted to biggest strongest most respected guy or best looking etc thus I don't see why there is so much anger re a guys looking for well groomed partner as women aren't looking to date guys they view as undesirable!0 -
Id like to meet Mr. Particular in Tuscon. I often wonder the same thing about the men in my area, a bunch of beer bellied, out of date dressing rednecks in my age group where I live in SE Texas. BLAH!
I don't understand why the women that responded in anger to 'Mr. Assface" think this guy should settle for someone who doesn't take care of herself, when his lifestyle is such that he does. Why does that make him an assface? I take care of my self and just thinking about doing the nasty with a dude with moobs and a huge gnarly beer gut makes my skin crawl. I want a guy that also takes care of himself. Does that make me Ms Assface? I would hope not, it would just be nice to find a guy in my age range that has respect enough to love his life enough to care about himself, not only for his own health but to be healthy for his girl and vice versa.0 -
I have absolutely no problem with this man's comment. Im often surrounded by women my age plus 10-15 and I cannot believe how much freaking frump is happening.
I kinda feel like anyone else who gets mad at this is the people that show up at Walmart at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in stained jogging pants and a tweety bird tshirt with their hair in a lopsided banana clip, angry that men always go for hot chicks.
What she said ^^
DITTO
I personally like the sundress with the elastic top, no bra, the sisters no where near where nature intended, mustard on the boob look that so many sport - WTH is UP with that ?
And NO ... to me it isn't about looking good for ANYONE else - it's about taking care of yourself and looking good for YOU.0 -
I have absolutely no problem with this man's comment. Im often surrounded by women my age plus 10-15 and I cannot believe how much freaking frump is happening.
I kinda feel like anyone else who gets mad at this is the people that show up at Walmart at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in stained jogging pants and a tweety bird tshirt with their hair in a lopsided banana clip, angry that men always go for hot chicks.
What she said ^^
DITTO
I personally like the sundress with the elastic top, no bra, the sisters no where near where nature intended, mustard on the boob look that so many sport - WTH is UP with that ?
And NO ... to me it isn't about looking good for ANYONE else - it's about taking care of yourself and looking good for YOU.
See I'm not the only one! Some women in their 40's just stop caring and begin to age like my grandma, heck women in their 30's stop caring too. What ever happened to self respect? Forget taking care of yourself for a guy, what about taking care of you for YOU! Men that take care of themselves want women that take care of themselves. I don't think Mr. Assface is Mr. Assface at all, but instead maybe Mr. Dreamy.0 -
I'm just gonna say, dudes, if you sport a stand alone 'stash', SHAVE IT OFF or grow something on your chin to go with it.0
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I'm just gonna say, dudes, if you sport a stand alone 'stash', SHAVE IT OFF or grow something on your chin to go with it.
what.. the "80's porn stache"? that's coming back!!!!! lol0 -
I'm just gonna say, dudes, if you sport a stand alone 'stash', SHAVE IT OFF or grow something on your chin to go with it.
what.. the "80's porn stache"? that's coming back!!!!! lol
coming back haaabaaa that's funny :noway: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
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I have seen enough 40 something men that are a mess. It must be contagious.0
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LOVE THIS!!On that note, I will always be a MILF.0 -
I never go out without my makeup. UNLESS I am going to the farm where I will be hiking in the woods,fishing, whatever.0
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I'm not sure what he felt writing to Dear Abby would do for him but I can understand where he is coming from. I mean, he wants to find a woman his age who is physically fit, vibrant and healthy. What's wrong with that?0
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I have to partly agree with the man's comment. I have many female family members and friends who think, well I got my husband so I don't have to care or worry about what I look like. Or I've heard, "oh heck, it's too hard so why bother". I don't agree at all. However, I am happily married and want to look/feel good for ME and my husband. I am in my upper 40's and many people think I am 10 years younger. I want to be a young 80 and be able to run and play with my grandchildren (when it happens) and even my great grandchildren. Yes, the guy sounded like a jerk - but what he wants is fair, how he came across was wrong. There are just as many men who don't take care of themselves either.0
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I agree, so many mums in the school playground have let themselves go, I was nearly one of them, eek! But one day it struck me as I looked around if I didn't stop I'd look as frumpy as them.
It takes just as long to dress nicely than it does badly.0 -
I used to prefer older men. As I got older myself, the pool of hot older men dried up. When you reach your fifties ladies you'll understand what I mean. I married a younger man when I was 50. :smokin:0
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I understand where this guy is coming from. If women can be picky about a man's height, weight, ethnicity, and wage, then a man can certainly be picky about how she presents herself. To be angry at this guy is to be angry at a natural human instinct. Men are more apt to look for the appearance of youth and beauty, women want emotional and/or finacial security. We are made differently. So what?0
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I have to partly agree with the man's comment. I have many female family members and friends who think, well I got my husband so I don't have to care or worry about what I look like. Or I've heard, "oh heck, it's too hard so why bother". I don't agree at all. However, I am happily married and want to look/feel good for ME and my husband. I am in my upper 40's and many people think I am 10 years younger. I want to be a young 80 and be able to run and play with my grandchildren (when it happens) and even my great grandchildren. Yes, the guy sounded like a jerk - but what he wants is fair, how he came across was wrong. There are just as many men who don't take care of themselves either.
Agree! 0 -
Good thing the part about his preference for very attractive women wasn't the part anyone took issue with then.I understand where this guy is coming from. If women can be picky about a man's height, weight, ethnicity, and wage, then a man can certainly be picky about how she presents herself. To be angry at this guy is to be angry at a natural human instinct.0 -
Good thing the part about his preference for very attractive women wasn't the part anyone took issue with then.I understand where this guy is coming from. If women can be picky about a man's height, weight, ethnicity, and wage, then a man can certainly be picky about how she presents herself. To be angry at this guy is to be angry at a natural human instinct.
Women tend to be more prejudice, but they want to be excused for it. When a man is picky he is criticized. I call it a double standard.0 -
I'm surprised the guy lives in Tucson and can't find attractive women his age. People in AZ may not generally be as active or appearance orientated as say so cal but I would say on average there are a lot of in shape well put together people in AZ. And before you jump on my case this is all just IMO0
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double agreeI have to partly agree with the man's comment. I have many female family members and friends who think, well I got my husband so I don't have to care or worry about what I look like. Or I've heard, "oh heck, it's too hard so why bother". I don't agree at all. However, I am happily married and want to look/feel good for ME and my husband. I am in my upper 40's and many people think I am 10 years younger. I want to be a young 80 and be able to run and play with my grandchildren (when it happens) and even my great grandchildren. Yes, the guy sounded like a jerk - but what he wants is fair, how he came across was wrong. There are just as many men who don't take care of themselves either. Agree!) 0 -
He wasn't criticized for being picky, though.
Good thing the part about his preference for very attractive women wasn't the part anyone took issue with then.I understand where this guy is coming from. If women can be picky about a man's height, weight, ethnicity, and wage, then a man can certainly be picky about how she presents herself. To be angry at this guy is to be angry at a natural human instinct.
Women tend to be more prejudice, but they want to be excused for it. When a man is picky he is criticized. I call it a double standard.0 -
I can't speak for the older chicks he's aquainted with but from that letter he wrote I'm guessing that maybe they just have taste.0
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I have absolutely no problem with this man's comment. Im often surrounded by women my age plus 10-15 and I cannot believe how much freaking frump is happening.
There is a difference between preening to look good for some man, and walking out into the world head high as a dignified, classy, beautiful well put together woman. In an outfit you planned, with fresh skin and a little makeup, clean healthy hair and a bounce in your step because you feel good about the way you present yourself to the world.
I kinda feel like anyone else who gets mad at this is the people that show up at Walmart at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in stained jogging pants and a tweety bird tshirt with their hair in a lopsided banana clip, angry that men always go for hot chicks.
What about socioeconomic status? Not everyone has the time or money to look like a runway model or even less.
What you classify as a dignified, classy, beautiful woman may be different than someone else's view. If someone already feels good about the way they present themselves, and they just don't happen to match up with that, why should they change it?0 -
He wasn't criticized for being picky, though.
Good thing the part about his preference for very attractive women wasn't the part anyone took issue with then.I understand where this guy is coming from. If women can be picky about a man's height, weight, ethnicity, and wage, then a man can certainly be picky about how she presents herself. To be angry at this guy is to be angry at a natural human instinct.
Women tend to be more prejudice, but they want to be excused for it. When a man is picky he is criticized. I call it a double standard.
He was criticized for liking hot women. Some women think he is being picky. I read all the posts. Whats the problem, did I hit a nerve??0 -
He isn't being picky in my opinion.
He IS demonstrating why he is divorced.
"Dear Abby" suggests to him "trollling" at the gym. I referred to this early on but this 'subtlety' has been ignored for nearly 17 pages.
Be describes himself as "decent" appearance - could mean anything.
He has surplus disposable income.
I believe it is a troll
I know many women in their 40s who are extremely attractive and "well turned out". If he isn't a troll then maybe he frequents a type of premises twhose clientelle appreciates his money but doesn't give a stuff about the man.
Next please.0 -
Apparently the problem is that you lack reading comprehension skills. He is not criticized for "liking hot women." He is criticized for saying that women his age should realize how important hotness is to him and his cohorts and make efforts to satisfy their desires.
He wasn't criticized for being picky, though.
Good thing the part about his preference for very attractive women wasn't the part anyone took issue with then.I understand where this guy is coming from. If women can be picky about a man's height, weight, ethnicity, and wage, then a man can certainly be picky about how she presents herself. To be angry at this guy is to be angry at a natural human instinct.
Women tend to be more prejudice, but they want to be excused for it. When a man is picky he is criticized. I call it a double standard.
He was criticized for liking hot women. Some women think he is being picky. I read all the posts. Whats the problem, did I hit a nerve??0 -
I kind of agree with him too. I have many, many friends who got divorced then decided to take care of themselves and lose those extra 50 pounds. Men are visual creatures. Why wait until you lose the one you have?
I don't buy that having kids made you gain weight either. My grandmother had 12. The youngest just turned 49. Grandma still puts her wedding dress on every year on her anniversary and it still fits.
Ane, before you beat me up, I know I'm fat. And it's my fault.0
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