So at what weight do women actually respond to a guy?
Replies
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My honest feeling is I'm going to end up going to pro's eventually. It just seems like that's what I'm going to get stuck with. Now if one of them rejects me that might be considered hitting bottom lol.
Again, I repeat: personality is EVERYTHING. If you say something like this in the first 30seconds you have no chance. If you in any way giving the impression that either 1) you just want to get laid or 2) you are desperate, then I'm sorry, but most girls will pick up on it and not waste their time.0 -
I just don't talk to anyone in bars, regardless of weight, height, gender, or anything else. I'm pretty mean about it too.
So why go? And why not be less mean? Obvious questions LOL.0 -
My honest feeling is I'm going to end up going to pro's eventually. It just seems like that's what I'm going to get stuck with. Now if one of them rejects me that might be considered hitting bottom lol.
Again, I repeat: personality is EVERYTHING. If you say something like this in the first 30seconds you have no chance. If you in any way giving the impression that either 1) you just want to get laid or 2) you are desperate, then I'm sorry, but most girls will pick up on it and not waste their time.
Desperate? You mean enough to walk up to a total stranger to try to get to know them...like every other guy does at a bar? Double standard LOL.0 -
Weight is subjective. Most people aren't walking around with a flashing number over their heads broadcasting their weight (thank god). What you need is confidence. Confidence and knowing your mark. If you approach any old chick will nilly, you need to have confidence in order to get them to not flat out just refuse you. If you know there is a type of girl you like, go where they are. Go prepared with a smile and something interesting to say. That will draw them in. Also, not being a completely dovche will help your case in any scenario.0
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Sorry, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but I think that statement makes you sound like someone I wouldn't want to talk to much longer than 30 seconds.0
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Weight is subjective. Most people aren't walking around with a flashing number over their heads broadcasting their weight (thank god). What you need is confidence. Confidence and knowing your mark. If you approach any old chick will nilly, you need to have confidence in order to get them to not flat out just refuse you. If you know there is a type of girl you like, go where they are. Go prepared with a smile and something interesting to say. That will draw them in. Also, not being a completely dovche will help your case in any scenario.
The confidence thing keeps coming up. Seriously, ladies, coming up to you is the confidence. It's your job not to be completely terrible and give whoever had the confidence to come up to you a chance. I definitely get the impression when I approach a girl they've got the "Oh no a fat guy" look going on. Really hoping this becomes less and less evident the slimmer I get.0 -
Yep. Wrong women. I can't speak for all females, but for those like myself, we like someone that will be slightly confident and start up a conversation with us.
But I get where you're coming from with people being superficial and whatnot.... not a lot of guys gave me the time of day until I started losing weight. And I wasn't even horrendously overweight before hand.... like ... 50-60 lbs...Now it just makes me question who is being real with me and if they would have done things differently if I was still at that previous weight.0 -
I don't workout to appeal to others. The only person I care about is the man in the mirror.
Yeah I get that too. I mean the health benefit parts are defiantly for me since I'm not having all the problems I did before so I do workout for that also. Eventually there has to be the same payoffs everyone else gets out of life though.0 -
Yep. Wrong women. I can't speak for all females, but for those like myself, we like someone that will be slightly confident and start up a conversation with us.
But I get where you're coming from with people being superficial and whatnot.... not a lot of guys gave me the time of day until I started losing weight. And I wasn't even horrendously overweight before hand.... like ... 50-60 lbs...Now it just makes me question who is being real with me and if they would have done things differently if I was still at that previous weight.
I've thought about that too. What happens when I'm slim if I do find someone. Would she of gone out with me if she met me 6 months earlier? I may have to require proof she's dated a fat guy before just to be safe.0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
My advice is to make them laugh! "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything" -Marilyn Monroe
Seriously though, I'll be honest and say my boyfriend isn't model material but he makes me laugh even when I'm crying and I wouldn't trade him for the world.
Being a millionaire athlete worked well with her also btw
A couple things here:
1: Joe D. was (is) the greatest ballplayer of all time, and played for the greatest team in the history of sports... and history.
2: Joe D. was not a millionaire athlete- his highest salary was $100k, which he commanded only for the last 3 years of his career.
3: Lastly, and most importantly, Joe D. was Italian.
Young Ms. Baker stood no chance... and it had nothing to do with money.0 -
Weight is subjective. Most people aren't walking around with a flashing number over their heads broadcasting their weight (thank god). What you need is confidence. Confidence and knowing your mark. If you approach any old chick will nilly, you need to have confidence in order to get them to not flat out just refuse you. If you know there is a type of girl you like, go where they are. Go prepared with a smile and something interesting to say. That will draw them in. Also, not being a completely dovche will help your case in any scenario.
The confidence thing keeps coming up. Seriously, ladies, coming up to you is the confidence. It's your job not to be completely terrible and give whoever had the confidence to come up to you a chance. I definitely get the impression when I approach a girl they've got the "Oh no a fat guy" look going on. Really hoping this becomes less and less evident the slimmer I get.
What kind of girls are you soliciting? Most ladies are taught that even if they aren't interested to be polite and spare your feelings. Maybe your projecting your inner annoyance about the whole situation and that's turning them off even before you're able to greet them. Confidence is not just the approach, it just doesn't stop there. Confidence is approaching, talking and making the girl pay attention to you. Holding your head high. Projecting that you're awesome and have an awesome personality. Not waiting for the "oh no the fat guy" look and then backing off because you're thinking why bother. Confidence is getting the lady in question to see more than your size. And if you project these internal hang-ups, the girls are gonna know and they aren't going to give you the time of day.0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
^ THIS ^0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
My advice is to make them laugh! "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything" -Marilyn Monroe
Seriously though, I'll be honest and say my boyfriend isn't model material but he makes me laugh even when I'm crying and I wouldn't trade him for the world.
Being a millionaire athlete worked well with her also btw
A couple things here:
1: Joe D. was (is) the greatest ballplayer of all time, and played for the greatest team in the history of sports... and history.
2: Joe D. was not a millionaire athlete- his highest salary was $100k, which he commanded only for the last 3 years of his career.
3: Lastly, and most importantly, Joe D. was Italian.
Young Ms. Baker stood no chance... and it had nothing to do with money.
I'm German Irish and suck at sports sooooooo Marilyn is still out based off those two items. Wasn't she married to a studio head once too?0 -
If ur rich it doesnt matter how u look.....get rich and u can get any chick u want....sad but true0
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I typically didn't respond to guys flirting, pick-up lines, or any of the other "methods" used. Truth be told - most guys I dated or had any interest in were friends first and foremost. I just didn't trust most guys initially...and it took time for me to get to know them before determining if they'd be a good match. The one guy I met randomly and dated - was the *one* guy I regret the most. I know I'm not "normal" in that sense...and that's okay. It was just a way of protecting myself. I ended up marrying my best guy friend from high school. But to answer your question more specifically - I don't suppose it matters so much how much a guy weighs...but naturally I'll be drawn to someone who looks healthy and who regularly grooms himself. If he is making a concerted effort to get healthier, but is carrying some extra weight, who cares. It truly comes down to personality - sense of humor, ability to carry a conversation beyond a superficial level, genuine interest in me, and yeah, confidence. Fake it 'til ya make it. You might get shot down 100 times...but you can't give up. She's out there waiting for you. But you have to love yourself before you can really love someone else.
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You're walking up to the wrong girls.
My advice is to make them laugh! "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything" -Marilyn Monroe
Seriously though, I'll be honest and say my boyfriend isn't model material but he makes me laugh even when I'm crying and I wouldn't trade him for the world.
Being a millionaire athlete worked well with her also btw
A couple things here:
1: Joe D. was (is) the greatest ballplayer of all time, and played for the greatest team in the history of sports... and history.
2: Joe D. was not a millionaire athlete- his highest salary was $100k, which he commanded only for the last 3 years of his career.
3: Lastly, and most importantly, Joe D. was Italian.
Young Ms. Baker stood no chance... and it had nothing to do with money.
I'm German Irish and suck at sports sooooooo Marilyn is still out based off those two items. Wasn't she married to a studio head once too?
There was also that JFK guy. I'm sure he was funny...and President of the United States.0 -
It's (mostly) not your weight, it's (mostly) you.
The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more comfortable they will be with you.
I don't know...big fluffy guys are teddy bears...even saying you find a non-shallow girl, good luck landing anywhere but the friend-zone...drop the casual look and go for sharp-dresser...it will make you less fluffy without any further weight loss even needed...bunnies are fluffy and cute, but girls don't get a burning desire to bang the crap out of them...0 -
Confidence! My boyfriend weighed 250 (edit: he's 5'11) when we started dating and we've been dieting and he now weighs 195. I found him attractive then and I find him attractive now!
The number should not matter at all.0 -
I typically didn't respond to guys flirting, pick-up lines, or any of the other "methods" used. Truth be told - most guys I dated or had any interest in were friends first and foremost. I just didn't trust most guys initially...and it took time for me to get to know them before determining if they'd be a good match. The one guy I met randomly and dated - was the *one* guy I regret the most. I know I'm not "normal" in that sense...and that's okay. It was just a way of protecting myself. I ended up marrying my best guy friend from high school. But to answer your question more specifically - I don't suppose it matters so much how much a guy weighs...but naturally I'll be drawn to someone who looks healthy and who regularly grooms himself. If he is making a concerted effort to get healthier, but is carrying some extra weight, who cares. It truly comes down to personality - sense of humor, ability to carry a conversation beyond a superficial level, genuine interest in me, and yeah, confidence. Fake it 'til ya make it. You might get shot down 100 times...but you can't give up. She's out there waiting for you. But you have to love yourself before you can really love someone else.
Yikes, saw the "friend" word. I'm putting a ban on the friend zone. That's just a personal thing. I've done the friend zone thing way to many times in my 20s.0 -
How are your teeth? Clean? In good health? I mean maybe I'm weird (most certainly) but if a guy has good teeth and a nice smile the rest can be pretty secondary. Too each our own.0
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It's (mostly) not your weight, it's (mostly) you.
The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more comfortable they will be with you.
I don't know...big fluffy guys are teddy bears...even saying you find a non-shallow girl, good luck landing anywhere but the friend-zone...drop the casual look and go for sharp-dresser...it will make you less fluffy without any further weight loss even needed...bunnies are fluffy and cute, but girls don't get a burning desire to bang the crap out of them...
Not that I need to bang every girl I walk up to but I get what you're saying about the friend zone. By chance I responded about the friend zone to someone else but yes, the friend zone is definitely out for me at this point. Not doing it.0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
^^^^^
I third this.0 -
The confidence thing keeps coming up. Seriously, ladies, coming up to you is the confidence. It's your job not to be completely terrible and give whoever had the confidence to come up to you a chance. I definitely get the impression when I approach a girl they've got the "Oh no a fat guy" look going on. Really hoping this becomes less and less evident the slimmer I get.
It's not just the confidence to approach, it is overall confidence in yourself. Someone earlier mentioned joining different groups based on hobbies and interests, etc. This is a good idea because it gives you an opportunity to interact and girls will get to know you, and things will happen more organically. This is where you are going to find that your weight isn't going to be an issue. Just walking up to any girl anywhere is sort of like cold calling in sales. It's difficult to make a sale. If a girl is "out there" looking, say in a bar, and there are 100 guys in there, most likely she is comparing.0 -
How are your teeth? Clean? In good health? I mean maybe I'm weird (most certainly) but if a guy has good teeth and a nice smile the rest can be pretty secondary. Too each our own.
Hmm average-ish? Maybe a little below. I mean I don't have veneers I go around showing off with a wide smile. I'm gathering the appearance thing is a big deal for women even though you gals pretend it's not.0 -
I typically didn't respond to guys flirting, pick-up lines, or any of the other "methods" used. Truth be told - most guys I dated or had any interest in were friends first and foremost. I just didn't trust most guys initially...and it took time for me to get to know them before determining if they'd be a good match. The one guy I met randomly and dated - was the *one* guy I regret the most. I know I'm not "normal" in that sense...and that's okay. It was just a way of protecting myself. I ended up marrying my best guy friend from high school. But to answer your question more specifically - I don't suppose it matters so much how much a guy weighs...but naturally I'll be drawn to someone who looks healthy and who regularly grooms himself. If he is making a concerted effort to get healthier, but is carrying some extra weight, who cares. It truly comes down to personality - sense of humor, ability to carry a conversation beyond a superficial level, genuine interest in me, and yeah, confidence. Fake it 'til ya make it. You might get shot down 100 times...but you can't give up. She's out there waiting for you. But you have to love yourself before you can really love someone else.
Yikes, saw the "friend" word. I'm putting a ban on the friend zone. That's just a personal thing. I've done the friend zone thing way to many times in my 20s.
Okay so maybe the question is better suited for you to ask yourself who you would actually be interested in approaching and dating - you are shooting down a lot of things in this thread. Maybe you don't really want to date. Maybe you actually like guys *gasp*...haha, just kidding. Maybe you should work on learning to love yourself, despite what *you* perceive as flaws, and that confidence and fun-loving personality will better shine through...attracting the ladies to you as opposed to not. *shrugs*0 -
I don't mean movie star teeth, I actually like it if they are a little crooked. And yeah maybe that is shallow but its honest. It's what I notice/like etc.How are your teeth? Clean? In good health? I mean maybe I'm weird (most certainly) but if a guy has good teeth and a nice smile the rest can be pretty secondary. Too each our own.
Hmm average-ish? Maybe a little below. I mean I don't have veneers I go around showing off with a wide smile. I'm gathering the appearance thing is a big deal for women even though you gals pretend it's not.0 -
The confidence thing keeps coming up. Seriously, ladies, coming up to you is the confidence. It's your job not to be completely terrible and give whoever had the confidence to come up to you a chance. I definitely get the impression when I approach a girl they've got the "Oh no a fat guy" look going on. Really hoping this becomes less and less evident the slimmer I get.
It's not just the confidence to approach, it is overall confidence in yourself. Someone earlier mentioned joining different groups based on hobbies and interests, etc. This is a good idea because it gives you an opportunity to interact and girls will get to know you, and things will happen more organically. This is where you are going to find that your weight isn't going to be an issue. Just walking up to any girl anywhere is sort of like cold calling in sales. It's difficult to make a sale. If a girl is "out there" looking, say in a bar, and there are 100 guys in there, most likely she is comparing.
Won't I just be competing with the better looking guys in whatever group I join? And won't the women there just be interested in the activity or do women join groups as a side way to meet people?0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
Agreed0 -
Agree - you're walking up to the most shallow of gals apparently (sorry dude) and you need self confidence (not cockiness). There is a fine line between confident and cockiness....it's being an @ss; showing no respect or being uncouth.0
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You're walking up to the wrong girls.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^She is absolutely right!!!0
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