So at what weight do women actually respond to a guy?
Replies
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To the contrary, and not speaking for all woman at all, but there are woman that like "cocky" guys. Say what you will, but there's some out there, or else those cocky guys would never get a girl/woman. The world is full of differently wonderful people with varying opinions, if not, this place would suck!:grumble:0
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I never get approached...I dont think it happens as much as you think. Besides you automatically fail if you dont try, right?So I've determined a lot of women on this site are OK with big guys but all the ones I meet in real life aren't. And as I've said a milllllllion times walking up to a woman takes confidence. Maybe you ladies would agree more if you didn't get approached so much, I dunno. That's the biggest problem I think. You're "job" as far as meeting men is so incredibly easy. It pretty much totally consists of shooting down guys until you decide one has enough of whatever it is you're looking for. It's a real shame.
Yeah, I never (and I really mean never) get approached, either. So my job really isn't so "easy." But, let me say, that getting bitter at all women isn't the answer, thinking how easy they have it, isn't the answer, either. Just go have a look at the "worst date" thread if you doubt what I'm saying.0 -
The girls are the wrong girls for you! It is not about weight, it is about character, humour, love and friendship. If they cannot get past the outward size to have a genuine conversation, then my response is that you will find someone who loves you for who you are. Hubby loves me as much when I was a size 22 as I am now a size 16 (ok, I do get a few cheeky wowsa comments now
, but the essence of our relationship is so much more than that. 0 -
After the disclaimer that I'm married and therefore don't count, personality is EVERYTHING. And I know some guys that I think are smoking hot at 6'1" and around 235-270ish.
I agree with this - some confidence (not too much!) and personality are what counts. Twinkling eyes help a lot too
and a good smile. Chub counts a lot less. 0 -
(I was in that thread earlier...)
I never get approached...I dont think it happens as much as you think. Besides you automatically fail if you dont try, right?So I've determined a lot of women on this site are OK with big guys but all the ones I meet in real life aren't. And as I've said a milllllllion times walking up to a woman takes confidence. Maybe you ladies would agree more if you didn't get approached so much, I dunno. That's the biggest problem I think. You're "job" as far as meeting men is so incredibly easy. It pretty much totally consists of shooting down guys until you decide one has enough of whatever it is you're looking for. It's a real shame.
Yeah, I never (and I really mean never) get approached, either. So my job really isn't so "easy." But, let me say, that getting bitter at all women isn't the answer, thinking how easy they have it, isn't the answer, either. Just go have a look at the "worst date" thread if you doubt what I'm saying.
I have made plenty of first moves, I am afraid if i don't I will be forever alone. But I expect that the guy meet me halfway atleast. If I were to be approached I would smile and give the person a chance. However, at bars/clubs alot of guys have that "I just want to get into your pants" vibe going on. And that is SUCH a turn-off. Making it much more difficult for the average guy to be successful getting a number or whatever. We want to know that a guy is genuinely interested in us for quality reasons and not just because we have a vagina.
My advice would be to pursue co-ed hobbies like sports or social events where you are more likely to meet someone with the same interests.0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
^^^^^
Aye0 -
Don't know if she's willing to give you her number/ interested in you? Few things to look out for... Leaning towards you, starts asking you tons of questions, blushing, tone of voice, posture. You can go for the kill by getting close saying something, if she doesn't reject what you said go for a kiss. If she does reject you. Chin up. Sometimes even with all of these hints she could just be an attention *kitten* or a tease. There's more out there.
Going for a kiss, in the very first conversation with a girl? Oh, hell to the no. See prior comments about "creepy".
Again it's all about signs.
There are girls that are receptive to it and are fine. Hell, there are women that have one night stands at get go. And there are others that don't approve of it. It's just one way of figuring out if a girl is into you. Obviously a number works too. But these situations make a lot more sense when describing a party/club/bar environment IMO, if this is at a public bus stop, library, cafe shop, etc then obviously going for a kiss would just be silly.
Anyways, I applaud men that have the confidence to be ballsy.
I don't care what venue it is. In a party or club, a guy trying to kiss me when I just met him, even if he looks like Brad Pitt, is at the very least getting my drink thrown in his face. Very uncool.0 -
It's not the weight. It's you.
Weight has a lot to do with attraction.
Guys who are awkward like to use that as an excuse. It's one of many cop-outs that just make them sound whiny and negative, which is probably part of the reason they ain't getting the ladies. At any rate, I'm sure it feels a lot better to blame your lack of game on women being shallow than on a personality defect of your own.
Guys who are overweight get turned down by all type of girls. No matter how much confidence you carry. I see it every damn time I'm in the club or I'm at a house party. A guy can have all the confidence in the world and he still gets shut down from his size. Attraction matters.
Awkwardness doesn't help at all though. Any guy who is awkward no matter what size will look like a complete fool unless that girl is a dork/timid/shy too.
All types of guys get turned down by all types of girls. Fat guys, skinny guys, poor guys, rich guys...most women are equal opportunity in the reject-the-advance department. Usually just because interruption is annoying. My girlfriends and I used to go to strip clubs if we just wanted to hang out and chat and have a few beers, because we couldn't go to a regular bar without spending the whole night trying to get rid of men that were interrupting our fun...and apparently if you are female in a strip club no man will ask you out on a date, no man will talk to you, no man will want to dance, no man will try to buy you a drink, you are outcast and it can be awesome!
If she has already rejected several other guys, she's probably just not interested in being picked up tonight...if no one is talking to her, you can be the first to shoot for rejection!!!0 -
bump0
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You're walking up to the wrong girls.
Word.0 -
I never was approched by guys at clubs or bars. My husband said he never went up to girls because all they wanted was free drinks and didn't want to actually get to know him... but then again I live in Utah.
We connected via the internet thru myspace hahahaah myspace.
We got to know each other first before meeting and have been together ever since (over 7 years). he weighed 190 at the time... now he weighs 290 and I don't feel any differently about him He makes me laugh and keep me mentally stimulated. 0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
Truth.
/thread0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
Truth.
/thread
This has been the most given answer. Now I just need to figure out exactly what the "right" girl is then. Anyone want to tackle that one?0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
Wrong, wrong and triple wrong. Gah, men, don't ever take dating advice from women.
*All* women will reject based on any reason they feel like, and that doesn't make them the "wrong girls". There is no way to deduce who the "right" and "wrong" women are up front. Zero.
It's true, if she's the modelesque and has the *****face on, it's probably not going to work. But that's certainly not his problem. Only confident types immune to rejection tend to have the balls to do that sort of thing. Even if it was, it's her right to reject you, don't do it for her.
The right answer was: he needs confidence at any weight. Don't take rejection personally, just move on happily. There's plenty of women out there. They make new ones EVERY DAY.0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
Truth.
/thread
This has been the most given answer. Now I just need to figure out exactly what the "right" girl is then. Anyone want to tackle that one?
You' ve had that too, it' s girls who like the same **** you like.0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
Truth.
/thread
This has been the most given answer. Now I just need to figure out exactly what the "right" girl is then. Anyone want to tackle that one?
Well short of handing out a questionaire, I guess there's no foolproof way to tell. I would start by rejecting all those that don't respond to your smile with one back. Then reject all those that don't respond to smalltalk by giving you smalltalk back. Youre left with women who have smiled at you and given you some of their time..... not a bad place to start0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
Wrong, wrong and triple wrong. Gah, men, don't ever take dating advice from women.
*All* women will reject based on any reason they feel like, and that doesn't make them the "wrong girls". There is no way to deduce who the "right" and "wrong" women up. Zero.
It's true, if she's the modelesque and has the *****face on, it's probably not going to work. But that's certainly not his problem. Only confident types immune to rejection tend to have the balls to do that sort of thing. And even if it was, it's HER job to reject you. Don't do it for her.
The right answer was: he needs confidence at any weight. Don't take rejection personally, just move on happily. There's plenty of women out there. They make new ones EVERY DAY.
I've already said my piece in here... but I do like this guy's answer. I think this is spot on.
Another thing... women do NOT like men who give up easily. I personally can't stand it and can smell it from miles away. Get some immunity going for you, buddy. Good luck.
ETA: Because men who give up that easily in the game sure as hell won't make it through all the tribulations of life with them and "protect" the woman... feminazis, come at me. I can handle you.0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
Wrong, wrong and triple wrong. Gah, men, don't ever take dating advice from women.
*All* women will reject based on any reason they feel like, and that doesn't make them the "wrong girls". There is no way to deduce who the "right" and "wrong" women up. Zero.
It's true, if she's the modelesque and has the *****face on, it's probably not going to work. But that's certainly not his problem. Only confident types immune to rejection tend to have the balls to do that sort of thing. And even if it was, it's HER job to reject you. Don't do it for her.
The right answer was: he needs confidence at any weight. Don't take rejection personally, just move on happily. There's plenty of women out there. They make new ones EVERY DAY.
I've already said my piece in here... but I do like this guy's answer. I think this is spot on.
Another thing... women do NOT like men who give up easily. I personally can't stand it and can smell it from miles away. Get some immunity going for you, buddy. Good luck.
ETA: Because men who give up that easily in the game sure as hell won't make it through all the tribulations of life with them and "protect" the woman... feminazis, come at me. I can handle you.
Define giving up easily.
And +1 Sexmaniac. "wrong girls" is complete bull****.0 -
Another thing... women do NOT like men who give up easily. I personally can't stand it and can smell it from miles away. Get some immunity going for you, buddy. Good luck.
Define giving up easily.
Right, do, because there's a fine line between 'not giving up' and 'being a stalkerish creepster'.0 -
all you need is three things.. Confidence, humor and a little bit of swag.0
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Look, I am being 100% honest with you - most women are not that shallow. It is not just about a guys looks. Yes, of course, being human beings it is in our nature to judge someone based on their physical appearance, but for me personally, it is more than just that. It really does come to the personality and the persons energy. Some people are just positive and have great vibes around them, and I find myself drawn to that more than anything. A perfectly ordinary looking guy could have a great energy and personality, and it would make him that much more attractive to me. I didn't think my first boyfriend in highschool was all that hot upon first glance, but once I got to know him, I feel deeply in love with him and the attraction came.
Also, it could be about how you are approaching them. I don't have any idea, so can't comment on that, but I would say focus working on your inside - your attitude, energy and confidence, and perhaps you will find that more women are drawn to you.0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
Wrong, wrong and triple wrong. Gah, men, don't ever take dating advice from women.
*All* women will reject based on any reason they feel like, and that doesn't make them the "wrong girls". There is no way to deduce who the "right" and "wrong" women up. Zero.
It's true, if she's the modelesque and has the *****face on, it's probably not going to work. But that's certainly not his problem. Only confident types immune to rejection tend to have the balls to do that sort of thing. And even if it was, it's HER job to reject you. Don't do it for her.
The right answer was: he needs confidence at any weight. Don't take rejection personally, just move on happily. There's plenty of women out there. They make new ones EVERY DAY.
I've already said my piece in here... but I do like this guy's answer. I think this is spot on.
Another thing... women do NOT like men who give up easily. I personally can't stand it and can smell it from miles away. Get some immunity going for you, buddy. Good luck.
ETA: Because men who give up that easily in the game sure as hell won't make it through all the tribulations of life with them and "protect" the woman... feminazis, come at me. I can handle you.
YESS!! listen to this!!0 -
It depends on the girl...
I dated a guy who was about 230 or so (I was about 100 pounds less than him so he was quite a bit bigger than me) and about 6' tall. I didn't care that he was not healthy/overweight/etc. I like(d) his personality*
*however after we were together for a bit his personality went to crap and that was done and over with.0 -
Define giving up easily.
In this guy's case, never figured he'd make it to "stalker" status... but ok.
There's a huge difference in a stalker and an average guy who wants something really bad. I could hack out a characterization of them both. But that'd be tedious, wouldn't it?
I know that in my first year of marriage to my husband (our anniversary is Sunday, btw) there have been times when I've pushed him to go the extra mile in proving that he has staying power. I also did it before the marriage. He's passed the tests. I know the OP isn't anywhere close to a marriage yet... but he's facing the biggest hurdle right now. Approaching complete strangers in bars.
My husband followed me for over one year on Facebook, attempted several times to chat with me and I didn't respond... not because I was a *****, but because I simply was being bombarded by other men at the time. I failed to even notice his chat attempts. He had to make himself stand out from the crowd... and he's an extremely laid back and very private person. So it was out of character for him to approach me in the way he did a few times. We had several phone calls where I was basically thinking... yeah, right. Weak. Laughing a little at his extreme politeness. But what I didn't realize is he is one persistent, hard as nails guy underneath all that. I underestimated him on face value.
He pursued me for over a year before we ever met face to face. And when we met, I had a plane ticket out of the country to Ireland! I was planning on leaving and never coming back... Lol. Never mind all the loose ends I would have to tie up. He was facing almost sure rejection at that point, when he found out I had plans to travel and even leave the country. He seemed unmovable. And persistent in the face of great odds, I thought. He even psyched me out a bit... and that's hard to do. He knew that if he could get the chance to take me on a date, he'd probably win... and that's because of his confidence in himself. Deep down confidence... not arrogance or showiness.
So that's a case of not giving up easily.
ETA: And when he met me, he discovered I was battling an addiction. That didn't deter him. He received major life points for that. And I'm now winning the battle.0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
:drinker:0 -
And I don't think I made a clear distinction there in what would be "stalkerish"... a stalker would not CARE that a person seems uninterested, or would miss the signs of true rejection...
Someone who persists in pursuing what they want... they are open-minded and clear-headed about rejection signs. Weighing the pros & cons... not just bulldozing ahead for the target regardless.
A stalker treats his target as an object... not a person. Or as a conquest. It's all about the stalker, not the interaction.
But when someone like the OP seems easily convinced that women are just being difficult or *****es because of his weight... it shows women that he is more focused on himself than he is on them... or his interaction with them. So, in a sense, what the stalker and the guy who gives up easily have in common: self-absorption0 -
Look, I am being 100% honest with you - most women are not that shallow.
Chit Chat section of MFP - majority women... Current topics....
Show us your beards - a thread about how sexy guys look with beards
Would you date the person above you part 17 - thread about dating based on looks alone -PART 17!!!
Hottest person on MFP - speaks for itself
What's sexy about the person above you part 17 - PART SEVENTEEN AGAIN
Profile creeping - thread about picking out hot guys/girls on MFP
Cutest thing about the person above you part 12 - another!
And my favourite:
Rate the person above you only if you can handle the truth, part 63! - essentially 1000s and 1000s of posts judging people on their looks0 -
Personal opinion, but persistence on the guy's part tells the girl that she is worth the effort, and gives her that little self-esteem boost. Not much to do with protection. At all.
MotokoSmile.gif0 -
Personal opinion, but persistence on the guy's part tells the girl that she is worth the effort, and gives her that little self-esteem boost. Not much to do with protection. At all.
MotokoSmile.gif
Sure, it does. And for long-term... that she is worth protecting.0 -
Look, I am being 100% honest with you - most women are not that shallow.
Chit Chat section of MFP - majority women... Current topics....
Show us your beards - a thread about how sexy guys look with beards
Would you date the person above you part 17 - thread about dating based on looks alone -PART 17!!!
Hottest person on MFP - speaks for itself
What's sexy about the person above you part 17 - PART SEVENTEEN AGAIN
Profile creeping - thread about picking out hot guys/girls on MFP
Cutest thing about the person above you part 12 - another!
And my favourite:
Rate the person above you only if you can handle the truth, part 63! - essentially 1000s and 1000s of posts judging people on their looks
The "show us your beard" was in response to another post where someone asked about how a guy cares for his beard.
The other threads you mentioned.... well there are many of us who have never commented or looked at those threads. Well, I never looked at the beard one either, but I commented on the original thread the idea was taken from.0
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