So at what weight do women actually respond to a guy?

If a woman or man is going to judge you solely on your weight, you should be happy they walked away from you. My husband is only about 5'7", used to be over 300lbs and was tormented. When I met him, he was about 260lbs and I had no idea. I found him to be gorgeous and wonderful. That said, he lost 70lbs with me because he switched to being vegetarian since he figured it would be simpler (we moved in together quickly because we were already best friends). I love him now that he is back up around 200lbs and I would love him no matter what. I only worry about his health when he gains a few pounds, not how he looks, because I think if you truly are in love with someone they remain attractive to you. Just my opinion.

P.S. When we met, I was not overweight by much at all and I was active too. I ended up going to the gym just because I liked him so much and I was shy. I lost 25lbs, was totally in shape (worked out 3hrs per day for 4-6 days per week) and I loved him and only him, still will even when I end up the sexiest version of myself ever.

You got to have confidence in yourself, just like everyone is saying. To have this you got to LOVE yourself. Maybe not so much the weight and you want to get healthier which is a good thing. But be happy as you are for the time. Might sound lame, but just looking at yourself in the mirror everyday and tell yourself how fine you is, how handsome you look when you smile, etc.. IF you really start to believe it, then the women will see it. I know plenty of men who are "bigger" in size::: around the waist::: but they know how to carry themselves and look very attractive.

Seriously the wrong girls. It is simply rude to ignore a person like that. Expect girls to treat you like a human being, even if they say no to a date. Also there is no weight when girls start paying attention. Weight shouldn't matter that much. At what weight do you start paying attention to women? I hope you don't have an answer to that.

Agreed. No one even talks about that...it's sad for women it's just accepted that no one will love you if you're fat. Thus even little girls are starving themselves. ...I guess some people think that's OK. Many overweight women get the cold shoulder. Anyway it's appalling that that girl treated you like that. Tell you men friends what it feels like---maybe they'll "love us for what we are." You think? What about you when you're what you consider thin and built? Will you treat fat women like trash too?

I am going to have to disagree slightly with everyone saying how rude it is to ignore someone like this. Perhaps in this instance it was, I wasn't there, but it kinda grates on me this notion that all women on a night out are just there to be chatted up. Quite often I am just happy catching up with my girlfriends. Before you approach someone, I would be looking for some sign that she WANTS to be approached; eye contact is the key thing here. If you don't have it, don't just walk up to someone. Personally I find it rude when men EXPECT that, just because they have the courage to approach you, you HAVE to talk to them. I didn't ask you to buddy!!! I have had many men become actually quite aggressive and rude when I've made it clear I don't want to talk to them. The mating ritual of humans is a 2 -way street; don't force yourself on someone until it is clear your approach is welcome

You're walking up to the wrong girls.

I have to agree ! The first one had the answer.

So when I was 290 the last girl I approached before starting my weight loss back up literally turned around on walked away without acknowledging me. At 245 I guess things have improved in the sense they'll talk to me for 30 seconds until they come up with an excuse to get away but still. So guys who have lost weight or to all the women out there, when does it actually get better? I mean do I need to be a fitness model or something because that's probably a bit out of reach.

I also have that same question pertaining to the opposite sex, what is it with some men?

I think I would find it a little flattering if someone thought I looked nice and wanted to meet me because of it. It's never happened so maybe I would hate it too though...but I doubt it. It seems to be one of the key differences between men and women. I guess women get so much attention you take it completely for granted.

It is flattering, at times. Now that I have lost some weight, I have had a few people hit on me. Sadly, they were much older than me and, well, let's just say a wee inappropriate. I'm hoping to be able to find a nice guy in my age range. LOL

You're a good looking guy, so my guess is that it is either you are approaching stuck-up jerks or maybe it is the way that you are approaching them. Good luck!

It's all about the girl. I've dated a guy who weighed 175 and was in great shape and I've dated one who weighed 425. It's not about your weight, it's about finding someone who thinks you're great regardless.

That is an awesome man you have! You are very lucky! I hope to have that one day...


I agree with the ladies, you are approaching the wrong girl(s)..

I think I would find it a little flattering if someone thought I looked nice and wanted to meet me because of it. It's never happened so maybe I would hate it too though...but I doubt it. It seems to be one of the key differences between men and women. I guess women get so much attention you take it completely for granted.

No. For me, I just don't care what anyone thinks of me! I only care about my husband now that I'm married and myself and kids. I really don't care about stranger and before I was married I didn't either. I find it annoying when people bother me.

I agree to a point. I'm not bothered about attention from another woman and my wife isn't bothered if other men don't chat her up. however I find it hard to believe that you're not bothered what anyone thinks of you??? If you went out with some girlfriends wouldn't you want to look nice? Do your hair? Nice clothes? Make up?

Agree with that last post. My misses slim and sexy and repeatedly gets hit on when out by men who think simply by chatting and then trying to buy a drink means a date and then sex. She's there to have a dance and a laugh, not to score.

I think I would find it a little flattering if someone thought I looked nice and wanted to meet me because of it. It's never happened so maybe I would hate it too though...but I doubt it. It seems to be one of the key differences between men and women. I guess women get so much attention you take it completely for granted.

No. For me, I just don't care what anyone thinks of me! I only care about my husband now that I'm married and myself and kids. I really don't care about stranger and before I was married I didn't either. I find it annoying when people bother me.

I agree to a point. I'm not bothered about attention from another woman and my wife isn't bothered if other men don't chat her up. however I find it hard to believe that you're not bothered what anyone thinks of you??? If you went out with some girlfriends wouldn't you want to look nice? Do your hair? Nice clothes? Make up?

You are missing the point entirely. Of course women care about what they look like and like to look nice but a man thinking a women looks nice does not create an obligation for her to spend time talking to him / date him!!!!

How can I be missing the point entirely - it was a direct quote! "For me, I just don't care what anyone thinks of me!"

Of course women care about what they look like which is why I questioned a woman who said, and I quote again "I don't care what anyone thinks of me"!!

I know you weren't talking to me, but I don't care about what anyone whos not my partner thinks of me. Sometimes I wear nicer clothes to make him or me happy, but i'll happily go out in not at all nice clothes and not care what people think, I never wear makeup, I don't "do" my hair, I do brush it, but thats for me LOL.

Do you have a creep factor? Girls don't like creepy guys.


On a more serious note, girls, alone, in not the safest of locations (walking down the street at night, alone in a long hall ETC) have every right to, with statistics being what they are, look to any guy with a healthy dose of suspicion.

I think I would find it a little flattering if someone thought I looked nice and wanted to meet me because of it. It's never happened so maybe I would hate it too though...but I doubt it. It seems to be one of the key differences between men and women. I guess women get so much attention you take it completely for granted.

No. For me, I just don't care what anyone thinks of me! I only care about my husband now that I'm married and myself and kids. I really don't care about stranger and before I was married I didn't either. I find it annoying when people bother me.

I agree to a point. I'm not bothered about attention from another woman and my wife isn't bothered if other men don't chat her up. however I find it hard to believe that you're not bothered what anyone thinks of you??? If you went out with some girlfriends wouldn't you want to look nice? Do your hair? Nice clothes? Make up?

You are missing the point entirely. Of course women care about what they look like and like to look nice but a man thinking a women looks nice does not create an obligation for her to spend time talking to him / date him!!!!

How can I be missing the point entirely - it was a direct quote! "For me, I just don't care what anyone thinks of me!"

Of course women care about what they look like which is why I questioned a woman who said, and I quote again "I don't care what anyone thinks of me"!!

Ok - perhaps I misunderstood you and we have veered off the point a bit. The main point I was making I that whilst I care what people think and want to look my best, it doesn't mean that I spend every night out desperate to be approached by men to be told how great I look!! There are genuinely a lot of guys who get so wrapped up in "plucking up the courage" to approach women they neglect entirely to establish if that woman actually wishes to talk to them ( or any other guy in the place). Not wishing to talk with a strange guy who you never invited to approach you in the first place does not make you rude. There are plenty of women who are looking to chat, men just need to get better at identifying them!

If you dont have any of those skills get really rich and move to Los Angeles or New Jersey...

LOL

This made me laugh.

it isn't a confidence thing. I've known a vast array of confident men who got rejected.
My own bf is tall and rail-thin, and isn't confident...he's still hot to me.
I'd say it's the type of women.