How do you feel about stay-at-home parents?

Played that gig the last 8 years of my life, am happy to have a part time job. Going back to work was my choice. My husband makes decent money, I only work part time to get me out of the house but yet still gives me time with the kids. I like that I have friends now, and I feel like my life isn't all about the kids all the time. I need me time or else I will go back down the slippery slope of being depressed and over weight again.

No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.

Ouch! Really? Being a sahm is more of a commitment than it is anything else, just like a teacher, it takes a special person to stay home with kids all day long with no end in sight. Sick days, what the hell is that? Even a part time working mom here, I am sick I called in sick all week this week because I can barely get out of bed, this is the first day I've been able to sit up and not feel like passing out. Thank God for my mother and my husband, because I have no idea how my kids would have survived this week. But like always I'm sure I would have managed one way or another. People like you think being a SAHM we sit on our *kitten* all day behind the computer and our kids do everything for themselves, the house cleans it self, and we are nothing but a bunch of lazy sob's. I pray you never have to find out how hard it really is. You have no idea. You can't speak on something you never have known, you can cast a judgment on something you don't know which you have.

No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.

I cooked, baked, did laundry, wiped noses, cleaned the house, and all the accessory tasks that went along with that.
I also prepared for the coming holiday, did grocery shopping, and an endless number of tasks I just forgot to mention.
WHO is taking care of whom?

I am the primary breadwinner for my family so I work because I have to. If I didn't have to work, I could not stay at home full time. My ideal situation would be to work 3 days during the work week and "be available" at home 2 days per week.

i have been out of work for over 3 years..it was nice at first, but now i get stir crazy..im looking for work, but my husband is getting too pushy..he wante me to work at jobs HE likes for me, which makes me :mad: i am envious he gets to leave every day..i hardly get any other adult interaction besides with him, and its always the same convos, so i get bored..i want to go back to work in the worst way, but its hard to find a job i a) like, and b) can work that allows me to not work overnight..oh well, i do now what i gotta do

I didn't read most of this thread, because I can tell from the last page that it would only piss me off. I stayed home with my kids for about 10 years; I worked PT from home (as an editor) for almost all that time. I didn't resent my husband for being able to 'escape', but I did envy that he could schedule a haircut or a doctor visit without having to trade child care time with a friend. It became a prohibitive hassle to leave the house by myself, and it is easier for the working parent to do things because you are already there on "default childcare". I probably do not have the constitution that makes one a naturally great stay-at-home parent, but am proud of myself for doing it well. I am glad my kids had a SAH parent. I like who they turned out to be, I like that I got to be around to know them and shape them growing up, and I liked being able to grab a book and a blankie and snuggle them when they were sick rather than pawning them off on an unsuspecting sitter or neighbor until I could get out of my production meeting. My husband didn't envy or resent me for staying home; he saw and appreciated how it affected our children and never minded how it impacted our wealth. He did, however, give me a load of crap for not keeping the house cleaner, but that's not why I was there. I was doing some work for money, I was doing a ton of volunteering in our community, and I was raising our kids. If all I wanted was a clean house, I would have gone to work FT and hired a housekeeper--MUCH easier than staying home. Anybody who thinks a quality SAH parent has a lot of free time is ignorant and has clearly never spent much time with small children. You stay home with kids to play with them, read to them, and take them on enriching outings, not so they can watch you vacuum. I am now about to graduate from nursing school and return to work--my husband is super excited and I feel good about it because my kids got a great start.

If you're the SAHP (stay at home parent) ...are your envious that your spouse gets to "escape" ...even if it is for work? Sometimes. I've only been a stay at home mom for 14 months. I left a job that I absolutely LOVED and I miss it very, very much.

Do you like staying at home? 99% of the time. I'm very happy to have this time with my kids. We have a LOT of fun.

If you're the off-to-work parent...are you resentful that your spouse stays at home? Do you care that your spouse isn't contributing to the household income?................. I can answer for my husband, his answer would be no. He really likes having a house wife. I'll work again when my kids are older but he'd be just fine if I never worked again.

What would the ideal arrangement look like for you? I like our set-up now. My husband works long days but he makes a nice living. He does what he's good at and I do what I'm good at....... being June Cleaver.

I would have gone bonkers to stay at home. I don't think there is anything wrong with having a family and a career. My daughter was the product of a single parent home and is successful, travels extensively for her job, owns property and we have fun together still and on our own. I believe in quality being as important as quantity.

I feel that Stay-At-Homes should take advantage of the fact that they're home & get involved with new hobbies, learn an instrument, write a book, exercise, dance, learn to draw or paint, etc. They have a lot of time to cultivate some wonderful skills & activities that can make them truly happy, & I feel like they don't take advantage of that as much as they should (or at least, you don't hear about it).

If I became a SAHM (never will, though ) I would DEFINITELY be spending all of that time fulfilling intrinsic motives in my life! I do that now, but I would have much more time for it all as an SAHM.

Do seriously think we have spare time??? At the moment I am eating my lunch while typing which I can do because my baby son is sleeping & my daughter is watching a DVD - but that won't last for long!! While I'm learning an instrument or learning to dance can you please look after my kids for me? Thanks.:explode:

I feel that Stay-At-Homes should take advantage of the fact that they're home & get involved with new hobbies, learn an instrument, write a book, exercise, dance, learn to draw or paint, etc. They have a lot of time to cultivate some wonderful skills & activities that can make them truly happy, & I feel like they don't take advantage of that as much as they should (or at least, you don't hear about it).

If I became a SAHM (never will, though ) I would DEFINITELY be spending all of that time fulfilling intrinsic motives in my life! I do that now, but I would have much more time for it all as an SAHM.

Wow. This is the funniest thing I've read.... ever.

My kids are 6 and 2... two gorgeous, smart, funny, rowdy little wild things. I didn't even get to PEE alone most of the time without the two year old outside of the door going "Mommy are you peeing? Can I see your butt? Did you go PEE??"..... yes, I have so much time during the day to pen the next great American novel because someone isn't signing a paycheck. I'm not sure where you think "all of that time" comes from, exactly. It doesn't exist.

Both my parents worked. I was placed in 3 yr old kindergarden, and before that I was passed around between grandparents. I grew up thinking that being a housewife was just lazy and a way to get out of working. I think it's stupid to allow one person to bear the financial burden of a family when one of the family member (the wife) is fully capable of going to work. There are lots of jobs (you need an education) that have daycares at a very reduced rate (less if you work it out to volunteer there). There is no excuse for someone to stay home all day long. Especially if the kids are in school. What exactly do you do for 6 to 8 hours? I highly doubt you are cleaning or doing other wifely duties for that long.

This is ridiculous, there is no excuse for your ignorance. My husband loves his career and it is not a burden on him. He has a regular paycheck every month and it is always the same. I am capable of working, I have 3 degrees and certified to teach but we as a team made a decision for me to stay at home. App when my kids are in school there will be plenty to do, I play a large role in their lives and when my daughter has a thanksgiving program, like Friday, I will be there to help setup/ clean up. My son has a thanksgiving party at his preschool tomorrow and I will be there! And why should I clean for 6-8 hrs everyday there's not enough to clean for that long everyday. I think you have to get out more and meet people, socializing would probably be god for you!

I feel that Stay-At-Homes should take advantage of the fact that they're home & get involved with new hobbies, learn an instrument, write a book, exercise, dance, learn to draw or paint, etc. They have a lot of time to cultivate some wonderful skills & activities that can make them truly happy, & I feel like they don't take advantage of that as much as they should (or at least, you don't hear about it).

If I became a SAHM (never will, though ) I would DEFINITELY be spending all of that time fulfilling intrinsic motives in my life! I do that now, but I would have much more time for it all as an SAHM.

Do seriously think we have spare time??? At the moment I am eating my lunch while typing which I can do because my baby son is sleeping & my daughter is watching a DVD - but that won't last for long!! While I'm learning an instrument or learning to dance can you please look after my kids for me? Thanks.:explode:

I am really glad this got revisited because it was the most insane of the comments I read. I marvel at all the people who think SAHMs (or dads) have spare time. You wonder what we do all day? What do you think *children* do all day? You think the two-year-old roasts you a chicken while you read Melville? Think the kids bathe each other while you do Pilates? Think they play alone quietly with a developmental toy while you organize the closets? No, morons. Mommy acts out the part of the prince in Beauty and the Beast. Mommy reads stories like she's up for a drama scholarship at Juilliard. Mommy drives them to the Children's Museum, soccer practice, and whatever else. Mommy volunteers in their preschool and elementary school classrooms. Mommy plays Thomas the Tank Engine and makes voices for all the trains but the kid's favorite one. And, as Trophy Wife correctly states, you talk to (and sometimes read to) little people while you are peeing.

I just don't see how it's possible these days. Even if you have a good job, having both parents work is added security in case the "bread winner" loses his (or her) job. I'm not a parent (nor will I ever be), but I would never even consider being a stay at home mom. I enjoy adult interaction way too much to focus my entire life and attention on kids.

Daycare costs can be prohibitive to a two-earner household as well especially if the non-breadwinner's salary isn't enough to cover it. It often ends up being less costly to have one parent at home unless both parents have higher paying jobs.

For our area, daycare runs about $800-$1200 per month for an infant, and the cost goes down to $600-$900 for ages 6 months to 12 months. For a lot of families, that's more than many people who work low-wage jobs make. That's only for one child too. Having 2, 3, or 4+ kids can make daycare impossible for a lot of families.

Once in day care dont forget to add in the extra cost of your child getting sick a lot do to parents bringing in kids that are sick.

I'm studying to be a translator and copy-editor. I would love to work in that field simply because I love languages and literature, but also because I want to be able to work from home and raise my future children myself. I don't like how these days kids almost never see their parents, and I don't care for the notion of strangers raising my children because I'm not home 08:00 till 20:00.