How do you feel about stay-at-home parents?
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Another reason why I would not become a "stay at home mom" is because I don't want to rely on ANYONE to take care of me (and the kids). By allowing one spouse to work while the other "takes care of the kiddos and the house" you are allowing them (the one bringing home a paycheck) to dictate how you live your life. You might stay on top of the bills, ect, but if you are not bringing home the money, you dont' have a lot of say. You lose control of your own life if you allow someone else to take care of you. Contributing to the household (to me) includes getting a paycheck.
What?!?! That makes no sense to me. I haven't brought home the paycheck in years and I have never once felt like my life was being dictated or loosing control of my life. I have plenty of say in how things go. We are a team, not out to get each other because once of us makes money.
No, you aren't a team. One person makes the money, the other does not.
"Making the money" is not everything there is in life. I "make the money" and hubby takes care of the kiddos. Hence, it's a team effort. Your statement makes you sound selfish and greedy.
If the rider of the bike in the above picture put a hitch on the back of the bike, they they would find they could cut out the middle person (my guess is you are trying to insert housewife). I'm not greedy, I just hate lazy people.
There is NOTHING lazy about being a stay at home parent. For as smart and enlightened as you think you are that is a damned ignorant statement.
Agreed!0 -
No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.
Okay, enough. We get it. You think SAHM are lazy bums, but you don't have your own kids. You've made your point time and time and time again over and over and over again. Why do you feel like you have the right to bash other people's choices in how they run their family when you don't even have one of your own?
You go girl! Totally agree!0 -
My husband stays home with the kids while I go off to work. There are days where both of us are exhausted from our respective "jobs" but we both know we wouldn't want to switch places. There are days where I'm jealous that he gets more time with the kids but I would much rather it was him than a daycare provider.0
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I wouldn't want to stay at home.. but I wish I had a better job that I didn't hate going to.. :sad:0
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I am not going to say that every day is peachy keen because there are definitely HARD days (I homeschool 3 of my 4 and the other one is not old enough yet-he's 2, almost 3) but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I get paid in ways other than $$...I worked outside the home for over 5 years before we had kids and I quit at the end of my pregnancy with my first child. Sure, there are times I'd love to contribute financially but my dh is so great to remind me (and anyone else who phrases it wrong) that I do work.
My job is to save $$ and raise our kids.
BTW, if I ever get the chance to go back to school, I do have other dreams, they're just as important to me as my kids. I would love to be a labor and delivery nurse when my kids grow up.
Absolutely! I stay at home with my two boys (we are also homeschoolers), and I would not change it for anything in the world. My husband is fantastic, so I am very fortunate. He is very supportive. He always makes sure I get my breaks from time to time and we stay pretty busy with relatives and friends so I never really feel like I am missing out on anything. Our neighbors are great and they also homeschool, so that helps. I used to struggle from time to time because being a stay at home parent anymore is really not the norm, but I believe I am doing what God wants ME to do and that makes me happy. Personally, I LOVE it.0 -
I think anyone that chooses to stay home and raise their family is much bravier than I am. I'm not a good person to stay home, My husband and I perfer to work outside the home. To all of you that are inhome workers, I have the utmost respect for you. You are the most overworked, under paid, and sometimes unappreciated people out there.
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i was a stay at home mom almost 2yrs and i loved it! yes i did get stressed but i was less stressed at that time then i am now working full time.....if i didnt have to work fulltime i wouldnt....my house was always clean(as clean as it could be) lol i shampooed my carpets like once a week or once every 2 wks but me and the husband do only have 1 boy which in my mind is plenty and with 1 boy i was always cleaning he runs up and down and all around.... now my house is always a wreck and since we had to downsize into a small apartment its so crowded and theres no room and it take a whole weekend to just organize 1 room and my weekends are usually busy so now i never have time to do cleaning, organizing and everything else i did before and i dont like having someone else watching my child 8hrs a day everyday i feel like i only see him in time to cook dinner then bath and bed and on sat and sunday......but i am thankful that i have a job and my husband has his and im thankful for all the help we recieve SAHP i give kudos to you. my mom had 3 of us and was stay at home and oh boy were we trouble makers. my husband didnt mind me being a SAHM he said he couldnt do it he would get bored i laughed and said no you would not. SAHP ARE NOT LAZY!!! just because you may know someone that is a sahp and they do nothing but run around and spend money doesnt make the rest of them lazy(i almost said us lol im not a sahp anymore)0
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I am not going to say that every day is peachy keen because there are definitely HARD days (I homeschool 3 of my 4 and the other one is not old enough yet-he's 2, almost 3) but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I get paid in ways other than $$...I worked outside the home for over 5 years before we had kids and I quit at the end of my pregnancy with my first child. Sure, there are times I'd love to contribute financially but my dh is so great to remind me (and anyone else who phrases it wrong) that I do work.
My job is to save $$ and raise our kids.
BTW, if I ever get the chance to go back to school, I do have other dreams, they're just as important to me as my kids. I would love to be a labor and delivery nurse when my kids grow up.
Absolutely! I stay at home with my two boys (we are also homeschoolers), and I would not change it for anything in the world. My husband is fantastic, so I am very fortunate. He is very supportive. He always makes sure I get my breaks from time to time and we stay pretty busy with relatives and friends so I never really feel like I am missing out on anything. Our neighbors are great and they also homeschool, so that helps. I used to struggle from time to time because being a stay at home parent anymore is really not the norm, but I believe I am doing what God wants ME to do and that makes me happy. Personally, I LOVE it.
AGREED you both are wonderful :happy:0 -
I stayed at home for my kids. Now that they're older I'm back in college getting my degree. So glad I was here for the kids but looking forward to getting back to work.0
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I'm a stay-at-home-mom, and I consider it a blessing! So far we have one daughter, who is just 7 months old.
Some days it's tough, but the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Consider: I get to spend all day with my child, I get to watch her grow and learn and discover, I get to teach her things, I get to nourish her physically/mentally/emotionally/spiritually, I get to take care of her when she's sick and bond with her 24/7. I do miss hanging out with a few friends from work, talking to adults all day, and getting out of the house/neighborhood (my husband and I share a vehicle, so I can get away when he's home to watch the baby). But overall, it's wonderful.
As for how my husband feels about me staying at home, he's is in full support of it; we made that decision together. He wants his wife to raise his child/ren. He is not jealous of me, because he knows how hard it can be. (He gets his dose of parenting when he watches our daughter while I'm out for a few hours, or for the day!) He works hard to provide for us and to make sure that I can stay home, and then he comes home and delights in his time with his family!
Besides, if you take into consideration what I made at my job, my income would have gone right to childcare had I gone back to work! As long as we can live off of what my husband brings home, I will consider it a gift to stay home with my child/ren. And if I have must take another job, then I'll do my best to make it a night job, so he can stay home with our babies.0 -
Hilarious!!! My sis, who is a neat freak with one grown child, says "every time I come over here you're always cleaning". Another person, who is not a neat freak, says, "you're always cleaning when I c0 -
<snip> I am my child's mother, not his playmate. It is not my "job" to keep him entertained 24/7. The notion of constantly giving into your child's wants and demands is relatively new to parenting, and can be directly linked to why a lot of children are incredibly dependent and needy.
<snip>
I could not have stated this any better. So true!
so true idk how many times ive said kids these days are all me me me and are way dependent. our 3yr old son is independent it sometimes scares me when i notice hes not in the room im in and its really quite lol......now that i work full time hes all about me when i get home and i noticed i get stressed easier now more then when i was a sahp
wow i went on a little bunny trail lol0 -
I feel that Stay-At-Homes should take advantage of the fact that they're home & get involved with new hobbies, learn an instrument, write a book, exercise, dance, learn to draw or paint, etc. They have a lot of time to cultivate some wonderful skills & activities that can make them truly happy, & I feel like they don't take advantage of that as much as they should (or at least, you don't hear about it).
If I became a SAHM (never will, though
) I would DEFINITELY be spending all of that time fulfilling intrinsic motives in my life! I do that now, but I would have much more time for it all as an SAHM.
Wow. This is the funniest thing I've read.... ever.
My kids are 6 and 2... two gorgeous, smart, funny, rowdy little wild things. I didn't even get to PEE alone most of the time without the two year old outside of the door going "Mommy are you peeing? Can I see your butt? Did you go PEE??"..... yes, I have so much time during the day to pen the next great American novel because someone isn't signing a paycheck. I'm not sure where you think "all of that time" comes from, exactly. It doesn't exist.
My kids are 6 and 3 and they sound just like yours! Lol at the peeing part! So true and funny!0 -
To all of you who think that SAHMoms are living off of their husbands, or that the money is the driving force in a household, I implore you to consider....don't you think that it is infinitely important to raise intelligent, confident, well-adjusted, happy people?
We lived for aeons without technology, electricity, phones, cars, etc. We could do it again if we had to.
High-maintenance, low-character, overly entitled and ungrateful people like you are the problem. Families who make sacrifices so that someone can be home to raise productive, kind and hardworking offspring are the solution. If you think that the world's problems are going to be solved with money, you are sorely mistaken. Unfortunately, those of us who believe in the value of humanity and family are becoming the minority.
I understand there are circumstances that prevent parents from being at home with their kids, but these are not the desirable situations. They are a necessary sacrifice.
If you don't want to raise your children, why even have them?0 -
Yes:)To all of you who think that SAHMoms are living off of their husbands, or that the money is the driving force in a household, I implore you to consider....don't you think that it is infinitely important to raise intelligent, confident, well-adjusted, happy people?
We lived for aeons without technology, electricity, phones, cars, etc. We could do it again if we had to.
High-maintenance, low-character, overly entitled and ungrateful people like you are the problem. Families who make sacrifices so that someone can be home to raise productive, kind and hardworking offspring are the solution. If you think that the world's problems are going to be solved with money, you are sorely mistaken. Unfortunately, those of us who believe in the value of humanity and family are becoming the minority.
I understand there are circumstances that prevent parents from being at home with their kids, but these are not the desirable situations. They are a necessary sacrifice.
If you don't want to raise your children, why even have them?0 -
beach_please
Joined May 2012
Posts: 403
Mon 11/12/12 08:21 PM
Some days I miss working outside the home and miss my job but I figure I have the rest of my life to do that, my kids are only going to be young once. I don't think staying home works for everyone or is right for everyone.
I actually think HE envies ME because I get to do things with the kids he doesn't get to do very often, like help them with homework, go have lunch with them at school, spend afternoons at the pool during summer vacation. They're small things but things that SAHP often take for granted.
I don't envy him for getting away... he works very hard so that I can be with the kids.
Edited by beach_please on Mon 11/12/12 08:22 PM
You are wise beyond your years, and a super wife!! I'm 52 and a sahm who homeschools. My oldest is gone and I am so glad for every minute that I had at home with him!! I appreciate the two sons I have left so much more now that I know I only have these few years with them. I can always do other things LATER!!
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No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.
Okay, enough. We get it. You think SAHM are lazy bums, but you don't have your own kids. You've made your point time and time and time again over and over and over again. Why do you feel like you have the right to bash other people's choices in how they run their family when you don't even have one of your own?
OH SNAP!
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No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.
i'm not crazy about anyone who chooses to believe that a partnership is based on how much money you bring to the table.
If she ever falls in love, she will be in for a rude awakening about what having a life partner actually means.0 -
Good Morning:)
I'm a stay home parent and love it!!I run my own home day care and enjoy it very much:)Been doing it for over 18 years ans wouldn't change anything!!I love kids!!:)I get out all the time,:)0 -
I get the best of both worlds. Home for the kids and I have my own website business. I have an office at home and I get to be around for my kids. I like that I can most days drop what I am doing if the school needs some help or if the kiddos are sick. But I do miss the clear separation of home and work. Sometimes they run together and it can be really busy and stressful if I have several deadlines at one time and a ton of school, home and farm things going on.
But I love being home for the kids so if I had to choose - it would be stay at home Mom. My husband works hard and long hours and so when he gets home it's been a long day for him. So he probably is more envious of me then I of him... haa haa
Thanking God every day for allowing me to work and be at home at the same time. We are fortunate that way and we get to choose to have a stay at home parent. I understand that some people don't have that choice.
One thing we learned early on in our marriage is that we can do with out and sometimes you have to sacrifice things so that the family needs are meet. We don't drive fancy cars, have a fancy house, or get to go on lots of vacations, but our home is filled with love. To us it was important that when the kids had a bad day at school they did not come home to a babysitter or an empty house. They come home to a parent. That is the luxury we get.
Kim0 -
I believe we have the ideal arrangement in our home. My husband works a temporary, what he calls a "Joe job" when he needs to, the rest of the time we make ends meet other ways, like working from home, selling merchandise on-line, freelance writing, voice over work, directing plays, etc. I've been a stay at home mom for nine years now and both of us agree on that. We homeschool our child and my husband has been home with me the past year and a half. He recently took a weekday only job to stockpile a little money because we are expecting our second child in June. He's not real happy about this new job, he loves to be at home with me and our son, but it's just until the baby is born and then we will go back to our odd's & end's so that we can be home together for another year or so. Doing as much as we can from home allows us to be our own boss and set our own hours, we love it! 0
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Have you raised teenagers yet? In my experience, they are a lot like toddlers. Only bigger.I think that it's fine if one of the parents stays home while their kids are little, but I hate when parents still do it when their kids are teenagers. It's like they're using parental responsibilities as an excuse not to get a job. Teenagers are pretty independent and don't usually need much supervision, so there's nothing keeping you at home 24/7 other than yourself. With younger kids, it's understandable. But most families need 2 incomes nowadays just to pay the bills and everything. Even part-time work is better than nothing. I'm not trying to offend any stay-at-home parents out there, so if I do then I apologize. That's just how I see it. :laugh:
Yeah, i agree with this person ^. They are EXACTLY like toddlers, only biggers. and if they are boys.. well, when they turn into men.. same applies.. which is why they get wifes! lol (sorry guys! my husband agrees!) And you said yourself "but MOST families need 2 incomes nowadays just to pay the bills and everything....." well that might be true, MOST might, but not ALL so you infact DID offend the SAHFamilies who DONT need 2 incomes and you are saying we are "using our parential rights as an excuse not to get a job."
Umm.. so when my child became a teenager at age 13... that means I no longer have a RIGHT to parent? So i NEED to get a job? My parenting is OVER? They have all the learning they need? I dont think so. A teenager needs someone home MORE THAT EVER. They need someone to be there after school so they arent running to whoevers house doing whatever without permission. Offer to host their friends so you know where your child is. If the kid doesnt want to ride the bus.. offer to pick them up. They do not need to be in a car with a inexperienced teen driver. Have you watched the news lately? Just last week FOUR teenagers died from the local high school in TWO seperate accidents. (No texting or anything involved. Good kids, inexperience caused the accidents)
Its MY JOB until I DIE to parent my child. I cannot hold on to them forever, but by God I can for awhile. AND I AM GOING TO. If i can pick them up, drive them, host kids at my house because a parent is there, instead of them hanging out at Johnny's no parent is home's house... if i can take them to the mall, and stay and do my own shopping while they look around & hang out... If i can take them into the kitchen and have 8 boys making their girlfriends heart shaped cookies for valentines day, with homemade decorated boxes to deliver them in... or 10 silly teen girls having make up parties in my small bathroom.. well, i might need some tylenol but I KNOW WHERE MY KIDS ARE AND WHO THEY ARE WITH. THAT is my "right" as a parent you are saying i am "using" not to get a job.
All the while, i am cleaning up after them (and believe me.. 8 boys in the kitchen is WORSE than 8 girls in the bathroom..) that is homeschooling my daughter, who happens to be Autistic. That is maintaining my household, my 8 cats, my 2 dogs (who i walk, clean up after, feeed.. everything myself) That is cleaning my house DAILY, doing all the laundry, the dishes and mmost of the outside chores also, since my husband works long hours. That is maintaining the family chore list, making sure everything is done. Its teaching my children about savings, helping them maintain their bank book and keeping on top of it so they arent spending more than they should. Its checking their phones, messages and texts whenever i want. (i pay the bill.. if you delete a text and i find out, you lose the phone for a week. (i get detailed billing & messaging. I cant read it on the bill, but i get every message , date & number its sent to)). I am a shoulder to lean on and a friend to talk to. I cook 6 HOT meals every day. I maintain family night TWICE a week and "mom & dad" night once a week.
Now, would you please #1 tell me WHAT HOURS you would like me to work, and at what pay it would benefit me because i am going to have to hire someone to help around the house. and #2. Would YOU care to swap jobs with me for a week or two? remember, My job only pays in love and respect.
Please think twice before you say i an "using my parental responsibilities by not getting a job" because at this point in a childs life.. in a TEENS life.. your role switches... you not only become a mom.. or a parent.. but you also become someone who is responsible in a sense for making sure your child... who thinks they are "all grown up" and "unstoppable" STAYS ALIVE.0 -
Bump0
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No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.
Well you're an idiot. How sad for you!0 -
I am envious of the stay at home parent! I would like to work just part time. That would be ideal for me 0
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The comment above me...that was stupid. When you are on a shared income, it is not easier than being a double income. It's solely for the purpose of the benefit of the child. And most of the time, it's not even worth working if you have to pay child care anyway. Especially for small, or multiple children.0
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I feel that Stay-At-Homes should take advantage of the fact that they're home & get involved with new hobbies, learn an instrument, write a book, exercise, dance, learn to draw or paint, etc. They have a lot of time to cultivate some wonderful skills & activities that can make them truly happy, & I feel like they don't take advantage of that as much as they should (or at least, you don't hear about it).
If I became a SAHM (never will, though ) I would DEFINITELY be spending all of that time fulfilling intrinsic motives in my life! I do that now, but I would have much more time for it all as an SAHM.
New hobbies? Learn an instrument? Write a book? Fulfilling intrinsic motives? WTF?? When would someone find the time for that if they are home with their child? Between laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, toilet training, taking to school, picking up from school, teaching them their abc's and 123's, playtime, meal times, and all the other lovely parenting stuff where would you have time?? Don't even get me started if you have a child with special needs! Honey I'm sorry and I don't mean this to be rude but being a stay at home parent is bloody hard work. You don't get to do what you want to do because they are the ones that come first. They need your attention 24/7! It is never ending. I love my kids and am grateful to be the one at home but just like others have said some days are better than others!0 -
I'm not but sometimes I do get envious of those that have the privelege to. The only problem I have is with the single women who claim to be "stay at home moms" and live off the government. Being an "exclusive homemaker" is not a right. If you can afford to that's great and I wish we had the means so I could. It's one thing to need help another to use handouts as an income. Don't every take being a stay at home parent for granted!!!! It is an amazing gift!0
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