When did you know it was over?

1235

Replies

  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    When my abusive husband came back from a trip out of town and was right back to being horrible. The contrast with the week he had been gone and I was free to do as I pleased was too obvious to ignore. I realized one of the first things he did when he got home was to search my purse, and that was when I said, "It's time to cut bait. I want a divorce."

    ETA: That was my first husband. My current husband is a keeper. :-)
  • MimiCro
    MimiCro Posts: 96 Member
    when the guy said "i think it's best we're just friends." and I heard it... 3 weeks ago.

    i know that, u look very cute, i bet he will regret that
  • eyeliner128
    eyeliner128 Posts: 19 Member
    I have a good one.

    I had been dating my boyfriend for two years when I became ill. I have endometriosis and pelvic pain, so obviously, my doctor I saw was a gynecologist. After I came home one day and told him the doctor said I needed surgery as soon as possible, he says...

    "How does he know that?"
    "He did a pelvic exam and could feel nodules where there weren't supposed to be."
    "WHAT! YOU LET ANOTHER GUY TOUCH YOUR *****?!?!?!"


    Even after extensively explaining that he was overreacting (only specialist in the area was male, so I had no choice anyways), he still was only worried about how my gynecologist was a guy - and not at all worried about me needing immediate surgery.


    That was when I made it my mission to get revenge and leave him. I did. I had a fun two years - he was in a popular band, so it was a cool life - but I'm glad I left when I did.
  • When he told me the house he was (allegedly) going to build on the property his grandfather gave him was going to be in his mother's name and even use her address (right next door), so if he ever got married, he could just throw his wife out if she fooled around on him or if he got sick of her. It was one of those "Oh-now-I-understand-why-he's-still-single" moments. That cooled my feelings toward him considerably.
  • supertracylynn
    supertracylynn Posts: 1,338 Member
    When the lies became too much, I told him I wanted out.
    He begged, pleaded, threatened... I stayed knowing he'd eventually see reality.

    9 months later we agreed to divorce. That was Christmas Day last year (2011).

    Up until the marriage settlement agreement after I filed late July, it was literally a daily to weekly battle. He'd love me, hate me, want to fight for me, call me names, threaten my guy, short me child support.

    Now we're fairly friendly, very little stupid fighting. Thank goodness!
  • MimiCro
    MimiCro Posts: 96 Member
    if u r wondering should u stay together or not, thats the first sign to hit the road....
  • Jennicia
    Jennicia Posts: 409 Member
    When the other ***** he was ****in messaged me on FB...

    WOW- this happened to me too! so messed up!
  • MimiCro
    MimiCro Posts: 96 Member
    The relationship of 6 years I had ended because ... we fell out of love :( I still care about him though, always will.

    Latest relationship which ended 2 weeks ago...I knew it was over when I realised he was a lazy very overweight person who just wanted to watch tv programmes and movies all the time - when I wanted to be out and about doing things .. I also realised when we would sit together, I had nothing to say because it came to the point where I realised he was a "hipster" and everything he liked was so much cooler than what I liked .. so I kinda couldn't even be bothered talking anymore as nothing I could say was good enough... or "right".

    We kinda ended up at a point where I knew being with a hipster type who is shorter than me, very much overweight, lazy, glasses and beard.. just isn't my type no matter how much I thought I liked him and I'm not really a person who basis things on looks but when someone has no get and up go for life and just wants to watch sports and sit around ... it is actually draining and boring .

    Oh I didn't break up with him either he ended things with me, which is fair enough it was never going to go anywhere I gave too much and got very little in return. Sux to be dumped though but definitely for the best.

    Ok that's a bit of a rant but it is kinda recent so I'm a little jaded! haha!



    sorry to hear that. it doesnt matter who broke up, great that the dragging is done.
    im dating a guy who seems to be soo much alike your guy, tv, food, 'right', 'cool' answers
    he is not overweight, but getting there
    and im soo active.
    i like him a lot, and i never been in this kind of situation, that i like someone so much but it doesnt work..what should I do...
  • marvelprime
    marvelprime Posts: 91 Member
    When I discovered an e-mail to her friends detailing how she wanted to break away from me but couldn't because of the security I provided. That was from an eleven year relationship...
  • ahjenny
    ahjenny Posts: 293 Member
    I knew it was over when he said he could be happy being homeless on the street without possessions. I was starting to realize that I wanted kids, a house, car, and stability in my life. It was hard to do, but it was the right thing to do. I still kinda miss him, even though I'm happily married.
  • This thread makes me really sad.

    Interesting! This thread actually makes me really happy! Most everyone with a "sad story" ends up better off in the end.
  • lina011
    lina011 Posts: 427 Member
    i could not see myself married or planning a long life together and the disgusted feeling i got when things got intimate.
  • pixtotts
    pixtotts Posts: 552 Member
    when i realised i didnt want to move cities again, and he didnt, and no relationship can last with 160 miles between forever... sucky
    x
  • QTRARO
    QTRARO Posts: 75 Member
    The relationship of 6 years I had ended because ... we fell out of love :( I still care about him though, always will.

    Latest relationship which ended 2 weeks ago...I knew it was over when I realised he was a lazy very overweight person who just wanted to watch tv programmes and movies all the time - when I wanted to be out and about doing things .. I also realised when we would sit together, I had nothing to say because it came to the point where I realised he was a "hipster" and everything he liked was so much cooler than what I liked .. so I kinda couldn't even be bothered talking anymore as nothing I could say was good enough... or "right".

    We kinda ended up at a point where I knew being with a hipster type who is shorter than me, very much overweight, lazy, glasses and beard.. just isn't my type no matter how much I thought I liked him and I'm not really a person who basis things on looks but when someone has no get and up go for life and just wants to watch sports and sit around ... it is actually draining and boring .

    Oh I didn't break up with him either he ended things with me, which is fair enough it was never going to go anywhere I gave too much and got very little in return. Sux to be dumped though but definitely for the best.

    Ok that's a bit of a rant but it is kinda recent so I'm a little jaded! haha!



    sorry to hear that. it doesnt matter who broke up, great that the dragging is done.
    im dating a guy who seems to be soo much alike your guy, tv, food, 'right', 'cool' answers
    he is not overweight, but getting there
    and im soo active.
    i like him a lot, and i never been in this kind of situation, that i like someone so much but it doesnt work..what should I do...

    I liked him a lot too but it just didn't work and I didn't know what to do...He got annoyed if I tried to talk about "us" so I didn't feel I could talk to him about anything .... If I was you I would let him know or just move on...it's not worth it especially if it's not working.. it sux liking someone but there is just so much that doesn't fit.
  • meganrpelican
    meganrpelican Posts: 51 Member
    When he told me i was being overdramatic for crying all the time while dealing with a brain tumor. (not the man pictured with me...)
  • shellebelle87
    shellebelle87 Posts: 291 Member
    When he beat me and I lost our baby. Years later he showed up and wanted to know if my son was his. No, you idiot. You killed your child.

    Holy fack. I am so sorry that happened to you! :flowerforyou:
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    When he beat me and I lost our baby. Years later he showed up and wanted to know if my son was his. No, you idiot. You killed your child.

    OMG, It's easy for me to say, HOLY CRAP, why didn't you have him arrested????
    I can't imagine the feelings you had to have gone through, but HOLY CRAP, why didn't you have him arrested????
  • WeekndOVOXO
    WeekndOVOXO Posts: 779 Member
    When I stopped doing the little things.
  • angee1126
    angee1126 Posts: 185 Member
    When I checked his cell phone and there was a text that said I love you too :noway: ............ he was out the next day and I filed for a divorce a few days later.
  • Peezy4President
    Peezy4President Posts: 292 Member
    when a dude called me in the middle of the night and told me "im effing your girl, with no condom". Messed me up for like 2 years, because was my first love.
  • I knew it was over when I found myself on top of a different guy. LOL. Ok that's mean but the dude I was dating had it coming. He was very cruel to me.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    When I spent six out of seven days either nauseous from anger or blind from tears. We literally made each other sick. By the time it ended that horse was glue.

    Some part of me knew things weren't right from the beginning, but I ignored it. Wish we knew how to listen to ourselves better, earlier. People can change you. The right people make you better, not worse.
  • QTRARO
    QTRARO Posts: 75 Member
    When I spent six out of seven days either nauseous from anger or blind from tears. We literally made each other sick. By the time it ended that horse was glue.

    Some part of me knew things weren't right from the beginning, but I ignored it. Wish we knew how to listen to ourselves better, earlier. People can change you. The right people make you better, not worse.

    So true. Next relationship I'm just going to go with my instincts from the beginning... if it doesn't feel right I'm out.
  • GZinSea
    GZinSea Posts: 50 Member
    When I spent six out of seven days either nauseous from anger or blind from tears. We literally made each other sick. By the time it ended that horse was glue.

    Some part of me knew things weren't right from the beginning, but I ignored it. Wish we knew how to listen to ourselves better, earlier. People can change you. The right people make you better, not worse.

    So true. Next relationship I'm just going to go with my instincts from the beginning... if it doesn't feel right I'm out.

    good call, it goes both ways tho (and thats not a shot at you) maybe he should have known better too, i know i should have...not her fault.
  • QTRARO
    QTRARO Posts: 75 Member
    When I spent six out of seven days either nauseous from anger or blind from tears. We literally made each other sick. By the time it ended that horse was glue.

    Some part of me knew things weren't right from the beginning, but I ignored it. Wish we knew how to listen to ourselves better, earlier. People can change you. The right people make you better, not worse.

    So true. Next relationship I'm just going to go with my instincts from the beginning... if it doesn't feel right I'm out.

    good call, it goes both ways tho (and thats not a shot at you) maybe he should have known better too, i know i should have...not her fault.

    Yeah he definitely should have known better but I was too confused to let him go when I knew it wasn't working..so kinda waited for him to break it off.. No communication doesn't help matters either. Gosh some relationships really are doomed from the get go.. no matter how hard we try .. there shouldn't have to be so much effort !

    Anyway enough ranting from me haha
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    good call, it goes both ways tho (and thats not a shot at you) maybe he should have known better too, i know i should have...not her fault.

    Yeah, my ex and I both have our flaws, but we were a terrible match for love, and in a pressured situation to boot (last time I get involved with someone with a different passport). We might have made all right friends if we hadn't gotten together. He did some things that were wrong any way you look at it, but on the whole, I can't say I blame him either.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    So true. Next relationship I'm just going to go with my instincts from the beginning... if it doesn't feel right I'm out.

    Ditto :)
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
    This thread is actually pretty great. I thought there was something wrong with me that was keeping me from finding a quality relationship, but this shows me that everyone has their own struggles. I'm happy that you have all gotten out of these situations and learned from them. No more settling for me, I deserve better than that!
  • QTRARO
    QTRARO Posts: 75 Member
    This thread is actually pretty great. I thought there was something wrong with me that was keeping me from finding a quality relationship, but this shows me that everyone has their own struggles. I'm happy that you have all gotten out of these situations and learned from them. No more settling for me, I deserve better than that!

    I found this thread great too.. It was like oh good I'm not the only one going through issues finding the right person. I'm not going to settle either, I almost did with my last relationship... I would have been miserable with him in the long run.
  • I knew it was over when my boyfriend said he didn't like gays. I never told him that I'm pan-sexual, and that really hurt.