Sexual Orientation Changed Through Reparative Therapy?
Replies
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Here is what I know for sure regarding "Born Gay vs Environment Cause".
My parents had 3 sons and 2 daughters. We grew up in the same house, went to the same schools. Were treated the same way. My brother was gay. Always. In a time when it wasn't politically correct to "come out". He didn't believe it was a choice and neither do I. He told me once that if it was a choice, he wouldn't have chosen to be gay, because of all the cr*p he had to put up with from others.
He dies of Aids 19 years ago. He was 33.
I am sorry for the loss of your brother.
I too agree that it is not a choice, it just is.0 -
when I said "flaunting it" I was referring to the guys who wear extravagant make up...sashay when they walk...that is flaunting. holding hands etc is not what I meant
Maybe they do that because they want to. Because they like to do that. Because they don't live their lives to please ignorant people who would like to deny them their right to do whatever they please when it's not hurting a single person.
I would hope they are doing it because they want to and I wouldnt do or say anything. I dont like macho strait guys flexing in public either. but ...whatever0 -
Oz . . . Oz . . . seriously? You're taking anything that wanker nut job says as even relatively serious . . . it seems to me you may be the one that needs therapy if you're listening to the advice of the Great and Powerful Oz.0
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I have a lot of gay friends, and for them none of the chose to be gay, thats just they way it always was.0
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I think it's bogus. Honestly, if it's a choice or not, what the hell does it matter to you if someone is gay or straight? We're all people. It's not a choice who you love, it's a choice ignorant people make to have hate towards those that are different from them. Get over it.0
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I think the idea of "reparative therapy" is fear and shame-based. The name alone implies something is "broken" and needs repairing. I think there are people who may be gay but live a straight lifestyle because they are surrounded by intolerance and ignorance, or maybe simply scared of their own truth. In my opinion, that's what needs repairing. I can't imagine denying something so fundamental about who you are and trying to live a life against that.
Amen to that0 -
Your first error was watching Dr Oz. I wouldn't believe a word that comes out of this man's mouth. He could say the sky was blue- I would be looking at it and still not believe him.
Being Gay is not a choice.0 -
But why on god's green earth do some gays (sorry but it seems gays do it more than straights) have to constantly announce their sexual orientation.
can you imagine if straight people suddenly started announcing they are straight as often as gays have to announce their choice?
and the flamboyant gays. They seem to be flaunting for the sole purpose of flaunting. it's tiring. stop it.
I am so f'ing sick of people arguing that any acknolwedgment of one's own sexuality, if not straight, is somehow flaunting it or a sign of aggression.
I am CONSTANTLY bombarded by heterosexist messaging - public displays of affection, advertising, innuendo, oversexualization of women, false beliefs about the composition of my own family. Do you think I can find accurate representations of my family in the media? No - only trite over the top exaggerations of stereotypes under the auspices of "progressive television". And YET, there is a real and constant fear among many LGBT people, myself included, for living an open lifestyle. I've been married for 5 years, have two kids, and I don't feel safe holidng hands with my partner. But, apparently, if I do, some dip-s#it thinks I'm flaunting it.
I really do feel like I'm tolerant of straight people, because most of the time, I want to scream about the crap I have to put up with from you people.
What do you mean "You people" !!?!?!?
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when I said "flaunting it" I was referring to the guys who wear extravagant make up...sashay when they walk...that is flaunting. holding hands etc is not what I meant
Maybe they do that because they want to. Because they like to do that. Because they don't live their lives to please ignorant people who would like to deny them their right to do whatever they please when it's not hurting a single person.0 -
Here is what I know for sure regarding "Born Gay vs Environment Cause".
My parents had 3 sons and 2 daughters. We grew up in the same house, went to the same schools. Were treated the same way. My brother was gay. Always. In a time when it wasn't politically correct to "come out". He didn't believe it was a choice and neither do I. He told me once that if it was a choice, he wouldn't have chosen to be gay, because of all the cr*p he had to put up with from others.
He dies of Aids 19 years ago. He was 33.
I am very sorry for the loss of your brother.0 -
If you believe in the Bible and God, you can't refute this verse:
1 Corinthians 6:9
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.
Erm. Covetous means you want things. Adulterers? Drunks? Effeminate people? What about effeminate women? Hey, Lincoln had a notoriously high pitched voice. But seriously, because some guy doesn't have TruckNutz on his bumper, he's going to hell?
The use of that verse of the bible is an act of reviling, making you a reviler, which means you will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Sorry to be the one to tell you this.0 -
Here is what I know for sure regarding "Born Gay vs Environment Cause".
My parents had 3 sons and 2 daughters. We grew up in the same house, went to the same schools. Were treated the same way. My brother was gay. Always. In a time when it wasn't politically correct to "come out". He didn't believe it was a choice and neither do I. He told me once that if it was a choice, he wouldn't have chosen to be gay, because of all the cr*p he had to put up with from others.
He dies of Aids 19 years ago. He was 33.
I am very sorry for the loss of your brother.0 -
Dr. Oz will pimp whatever gets him press and airtime. Sexual orientation is biological and can be verified on brain scans. There are famous people who have backed repairative therapy and have come out against it later. One of them was a speech writer for Billy Graham. I don't know why this is news again. It was shot down years ago. Dr. Drew had someone on, too.0
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You are born how you are born. I am straight but my brother is not. I asked him once how he knew he was gay and he said how did you know you were straight; good point! People that use the god argument as a reason to oppose marraige equality and fair treatment of all people kind of leave me saying huh!?! This world would be a better place if we all just accepted people for who they are and not try to change them to be something we can accept!0
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If you believe in the Bible and God, you can't refute this verse:
1 Corinthians 6:9
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.
Erm. Covetous means you want things. Adulterers? Drunks? Effeminate people? What about effeminate women? Hey, Lincoln had a notoriously high pitched voice. But seriously, because some guy doesn't have TruckNutz on his bumper, he's going to hell?
The use of that verse of the bible is an act of reviling, making you a reviler, which means you will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Sorry to be the one to tell you this.
For someone who really knows the bible, and is a believer, they also should know that all sins are the same in God's eyes.
this is a tough topic.0 -
I think that as long as there have been people there have been people who are attracted to the same sex. I don't think it's something that can or should be 'fixed' with therapy. I have heard arguments that it's not an either/or situation but that it is more of a linear thing with 'not attracted to the same sex at all' on one end and 'very attracted to the same sex' on the other end and most people fall someplace on that line. I am straight, but I can see that women are attractive.0
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Did I find a time machine & land somewhere in the 1950s? I can't believeeee some of the things I'm reading.0
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For someone who really knows the bible, and is a believer, they also should know that all sins are the same in God's eyes.
this is a tough topic.
Mortal and venial.0 -
This type of "Therapy" is like diet pills. Load of promises and a big waste of time and money. You can't help who you are attracted to...Put it this way, do you think therapy could make you stop liking women?
Also, there are a million billion reasons why a person could be gay, so to try and classify or pigeon hole an entire group of people into one type of category like "choice vs. non-choice" or "genetic vs. learned behavior" is really ridiculous.0 -
If you believe in the Bible and God, you can't refute this verse:
1 Corinthians 6:9
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.
Erm. Covetous means you want things. Adulterers? Drunks? Effeminate people? What about effeminate women? Hey, Lincoln had a notoriously high pitched voice. But seriously, because some guy doesn't have TruckNutz on his bumper, he's going to hell?
The use of that verse of the bible is an act of reviling, making you a reviler, which means you will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Sorry to be the one to tell you this.0 -
I honestly think some people are born with the tendency towards same sex attraction - these can be brough out more by different environmental factors, however, I don't think anyone can choose whether or not to be attracted to someone. It's the same principal as with all attraction. We're attracted to people who have qualities we find appealing. These feelings can be suppressed for the right reasons (for example if you're in a monogomous relationship you might be attracted to other people, but choose not to act on those feelings in order to preserve the relationship you're in). I think some people born with same sex attraction choose to suppress it for a variety of reasons - and I think that if a consenting adult wishes to live that way (although it might seem like a sad life) that's their choice. I am in favor of banning it for children, however, because let's face it - growing up (especially during the teen years) is hard enough. This is even more so a child is struggling with being gay (which especially in the complicate and offen highly pressurized environment of highschool) it's just not fair to put even more burden on a child trying to convince them they're something that they're not.
I don't think it's possible to go from gay to straight (or from straight to gay for that matter) - I think we're born with the attractions we carry with us our whole lives. The only thing we can control is our behavior and how we act on certain feelings. I believe a gay person can choose not to act on those feelings, and even choose to start a relationship with a member of the opposite sex, but it's the behavior not the person's attraction that changes.0 -
I imagine its a very hard thing to test for or study. I guess if there was an island say just of gay men, and suddenly each couple was given a one week old male baby. And raised it, would all the male babies grow up 'being gay'? I don't know. Don't even know if i care that much. Each to their own, we are all the same anyway. Except me, I'm awesome.0
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I believe it's a combination of genetics, choice, and upbringing.
That being said, I believe someone can change their orientation if they WANT to, but why would they want to if they like what they like? That therapy crap is about forcing a change, which will obviously never work.
And this is exactly why the world is a frightening place......Just unbelievable.
Could you change your sexuality if you wanted to?0 -
when I said "flaunting it" I was referring to the guys who wear extravagant make up...sashay when they walk...that is flaunting. holding hands etc is not what I meant
Maybe they do that because they want to. Because they like to do that. Because they don't live their lives to please ignorant people who would like to deny them their right to do whatever they please when it's not hurting a single person.
The ones that flaunt it are a minority. For every gay person that's making a big deal about their sexuality there must be a dozen or so that are low-key and normal about it (like me), and many more that are actively hiding their sexuality because their environment is not supportive of it. You would think all gay people are flaunting if you're assuming the ones who don't are straight, but that's not the case at all.0 -
Being gay doesn't stop someone from marrying a woman and having a family if he feels like he has to do it to be "normal". Even if reparative therapy allows him to do so, he'll likely still have sexual urges towards men that will leave him feeling repressed and miserable, most likely. Same for women.0
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I am gay. I was raised in a VERY conservative, Christian household, and everything about my environment, upbringing, and socialization taught me that it was a choice, and that it was wrong. I denied being gay for a few years (I just had a lot of "girl crushes"), but eventually I just knew that it was what it was and I couldn't change it. When I came out in my late teens, everyone thought I was just rebelling and would go back to 'normal' with time.
Didn't happen. I am queer and I am happy and I look forward to being a lifelong homo. :P
As an aside, I get what people mean when they say that no one would CHOOSE to be gay, but it still makes me sad. I don't want queerness to be a sad thing for anyone. I don't think there's anything more beautiful than living your truth and I hate that so many people feel that they are in between self-loathing in the closet and hatred from others when they come out. I LOVE being gay. I LOVE IT. Given the opportunity, I would not choose to be straight. I'd much rather change our bigoted, heterocentric society than change myself.0 -
While I do not believe in the premise of the Reparative Therapy I also believe there are many factors that lead to a homosexual lifestyle.
And I may not agree with the lifestyle choice (term used by my gay friends.....not my "choice" of terms) I have not nor will I ever disrespect, bash or do anything negatively against anyone who is LGBT, etc. I believe that the simple fact that you are a human being (no matter if I agree or like your beliefs/lifestyle/partners/etc) that you deserve respect.
I have a few very close gay friends who know this about me and know that I love them for who they are and that who they sleep with does not factor into the fact that I love them for the person they are.
I think it takes a small minded person to say I'm not going to like someone because they are gay. The same way people say I don't like someone because they are.........Straight, female, male, Republican, Democrat, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, tall, short, etc. I'm not interested in the choices, genetic, born with, etc. arguments. I will love a person because they are here on this Earth.....the other stuff is just a small part of who they are, not the whole of who they are!!!0 -
I think we all end up somewhere on a spectrum of totally straight to totally gay with some of us landing square in the middle, some leaning one way or the other only mildly etc... I do believe our social experiences and pressures lead us more in one direction or another though.
THIS!!!0 -
Oh my goodness i've just read on and realised that the post I picked up on is the tip of the iceberg.....It really is astonishing how stupid and judgemental some people are.....It honestly beggars belief. I love reading how people are telling us they are going to be tolerant of gay people like they are doing them a favour...IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!
Eurgh people really make me sick.0 -
i think everyone's on a scale, kinsey style. but just like i didn't choose to be straight i don't think people choose to be gay. it's just the cards we were dealt.0
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