Major Blow to My Confidence Today-Rude People

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  • chasingpavements24
    chasingpavements24 Posts: 107 Member
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    Ugh - that's awful. I'm sorry you had to deal with that!

    I personally think that there should be a law that you are not allowed that question, unless you literally see the baby coming out.
  • louised88
    louised88 Posts: 159
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    A random woman went up to my sister and rubbed her tummy once. She wasn't pregnant, just bloated...

    WTF? Even if she had been pregnant, that's not ok! You don't touch or make unsolicited personal remarks to strangers, EVER!
  • christabel6
    christabel6 Posts: 173 Member
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    Oh dear, some people just can't help digging themselves a bigger hole, can they.

    But hey, you are on here and trying and is she? What's she doing to improve her health?

    I volunteer for an infertility charity - some people can be astoundingly thoughtless about the whole issue of children especially when they've never had a problem. Hope you're OK.
  • CherishQuick
    CherishQuick Posts: 145
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    I was at the grocery store with my husband today and we had just finished checking out and were putting the last of our bags into the cart. There was woman that was checking out after us and she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant. I tell her that I am not pregnant and give her the most evil look ever. She goes "I am so sorry. Do you have any kids now?" I keep telling her "No I don't". At this point, I am fighting the tears. Then she goes "I am so sorry. If this makes you feel any better, you only look 3 mos. pregnant." I give her another evil look and ran out of the store. On top of feeling humiliated and angry, it makes me want to lose weight even more. I carry more of the weight in my belly so I guess I will be ramping up my workout routine to work off the gut. It is a shame how little people care anymore :(.
    I've gotten similar comments. I'm certainly reading these posts to see what others have to say.
  • Keto_Keith
    Keto_Keith Posts: 73
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    A recent study shows that 1 in 5 people suffer mental illness at some point in their lives, some of us are just better at hiding it. OP, don't worry, you look great!
  • CassieReannan
    CassieReannan Posts: 1,479 Member
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    She dug herself a deeper grave, what an idiot! You are way better than her.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant.

    Maybe she was just trying to make small talk. I hear some people do that but it could be an urban legend...

    It doesn't seem to me that she was being deliberately rude simply to try and hurt you. She made a social faux pas and didn't know how to deal with it. None of that really is something to be concerned over.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    OP I am so sorry. Use it as motivation. :flowerforyou:

    I went to the zoo yesterday. Being my first real outing as a single 51 yr old woman, I was struggling to begin with. After a short conversation about ticket purchase, inwhich I said "I don't like" and "I love" at least four times she says "2 adults?"

    I froze for a moment and then said "why would you say that?"

    I am tired of being nice and making others feel better when they have hurt me.

    She say "I assumed...." And turned red.

    I didn't say another word, but didn't wipe the tears or hide my distress. Something tells me she will be more careful with her words next time.

    At this point in my life I would have replied to the idiot in the grocery store "Do I KNOW you?" :huh:
    If she said no then I would politely say "OK, then why are you asking me such a personal question? :wink:

    We must stick up for ourselves. Why must we be polite when others are rude? We can do so with out being mean
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I was at the grocery store with my husband today and we had just finished checking out and were putting the last of our bags into the cart. There was woman that was checking out after us and she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant. I tell her that I am not pregnant and give her the most evil look ever. She goes "I am so sorry. Do you have any kids now?" I keep telling her "No I don't". At this point, I am fighting the tears. Then she goes "I am so sorry. If this makes you feel any better, you only look 3 mos. pregnant." I give her another evil look and ran out of the store. On top of feeling humiliated and angry, it makes me want to lose weight even more. I carry more of the weight in my belly so I guess I will be ramping up my workout routine to work off the gut. It is a shame how little people care anymore :(.

    Well ... if it makes you feel better, when I WAS three months pregnant, I didn't look pregnant at all, so maybe that's a good thing to look three months pregnant? Was that what she was trying to say?

    I know. Probably not. She was an idiot and I'm sorry that happened to you. :-(
  • bikhi
    bikhi Posts: 175
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    whenever someone would ask me when i was due i would look them in the eye and say, "i'm not pregnant, i'm fat."

    that always made them feel stupid.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant.

    Maybe she was just trying to make small talk. I hear some people do that but it could be an urban legend...

    It doesn't seem to me that she was being deliberately rude simply to try and hurt you. She made a social faux pas and didn't know how to deal with it. None of that really is something to be concerned over.

    I am sorry, but inquiring as to whether she is pregnant does not constitute small talk. "The weather is nice" or "Man that beef was cheap" is small talk :wink:

    ( let me add I learned this at 21 when I was waiting on a table and asked the daughter how far long she was!)
  • butterflylady86
    butterflylady86 Posts: 369 Member
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    People are rude. They just have no class to say that. Sorry your hurting cause of one woman. Peace
  • Swissmiss
    Swissmiss Posts: 8,754 Member
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    We just have to ignore the stupidity of some people. I am thinking that this lady just opened her mouth and spoke before thinking. Hopefully, this episode will teach her to be more careful about what she says.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant.

    Maybe she was just trying to make small talk. I hear some people do that but it could be an urban legend...

    It doesn't seem to me that she was being deliberately rude simply to try and hurt you. She made a social faux pas and didn't know how to deal with it. None of that really is something to be concerned over.

    I agree with this. No need to take it personally, dear. But if you want to use it for motivation, feel free to be inspired, but just know that some people make mistakes. I'm sure she wouldn't have said it if she had realized how much it would hurt your feelings.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant.

    Maybe she was just trying to make small talk. I hear some people do that but it could be an urban legend...

    It doesn't seem to me that she was being deliberately rude simply to try and hurt you. She made a social faux pas and didn't know how to deal with it. None of that really is something to be concerned over.

    I am sorry, but inquiring as to whether she is pregnant does not constitute small talk. "The weather is nice" or "Man that beef was cheap" is small talk :wink:

    ( let me add I learned this at 21 when I was waiting on a table and asked the daughter how far long she was!)

    Lol - I'm not sure how I would react if someone asked me how cheap my "beef" was!

    I guess it's not the done thing to ask a lady if she is pregnant but I know some women (and some men for that matter) love anything baby related and use any excuse to talk about "Oh, you're pregnant. That is so great. When I was in my second trimester"....and on....and on....
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    Brush it off. I've done this and the woman wasn't pregnant but I didn't ask to be mean, I asked because I knew her well and I genuinely thought she was pregnant. My sister used to hate when people didn't ask her about her pregnancy when she was having my nephew. Sometimes you can't do right for doing wrong!!!
  • ravengirl1611
    ravengirl1611 Posts: 285 Member
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    The only time it is socially acceptable to ask a woman if she is pregnant is when the baby is crowning.

    yep - this is pretty much perfect - OP Sorry you had to deal with this person and the feelings it brought up for you. I would like to think that after her first comment she was truly trying to correct her insensitive remark but unfortunately she just kept digging herself into a deeper hole. Saw a quote the other day that would have been appropriate for her.

    A closed mouth gathers no foot!

    Keep your chin up - and remember - you're awesome just as you are and you'll keep losing the weight - she'll always be a dumbass.
  • Izzwoz
    Izzwoz Posts: 348 Member
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    The evil part of me wants to answer such rudeness with "What went wrong in your brain surgery?" - the part of me that cares about karma just ignores idiots. :-)
  • dfossel
    dfossel Posts: 4
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    That woman is just showing her stupidity. Allow your frustration to turn to motivation. Don't dwell on it for too long...cant change others sadly,.....
  • MCproptart
    MCproptart Posts: 92 Member
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    Yeah, the half dozen or so times I've had a child at school pat my belly and ask if there was a baby in there were confidence deflating, to say the least. Once it was on a day that the scale hit a new low and I was feeling super good about myself.

    But then there are other days when kids see old pictures of me and say I look different now or ask if I "usetabe fat".

    Take it all in stride--women (strangers) who ask if you are pregnant probably just want to gush over you and congratulate you (and tell you all of THEIR baby stories). They are trying to be happy for you and are probably mortified when they have guessed wrong.

    Dude, never ask a woman if she's pregnant, when she's due, etc!

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