Major Blow to My Confidence Today-Rude People

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Replies

  • jennfranklin
    jennfranklin Posts: 434 Member
    I also carry weight in my belly area! One time i was in the store and had to carry out two gallons of milk.. the lady wanted to carry them out for me.. so I let her.. Then she piped up and said, that she knew how it is to be so miserable and pregnant! I didn't have the heart to tell her that I wasn't! LOl! I just laughed and went on my merry little way!
  • ChristinaR720
    ChristinaR720 Posts: 1,186
    Ugh - I am so sorry this happened to you. How horrible.

    My husband's grandma told me I looked pregnant a few weeks ago, and I just responded, "Nope. I'm just fat." Then, my husband took it one step further and added, "She can't get pregnant anymore. She got fixed." LOL!!

    Just know that you are a better person than that person will ever be.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    I will never, ever understand why some people think it's perfectly acceptable to ask a woman if she is pregnant. Besides the obvious error of someone simply being overweight, what if that person is trying to conceive and having issues? What if they just lost a baby? There are so many cans of worms in that question - I never, ever bring it up.

    Precisely.
  • LButterfly201
    LButterfly201 Posts: 164
    I was at the grocery store with my husband today and we had just finished checking out and were putting the last of our bags into the cart. There was woman that was checking out after us and she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant. I tell her that I am not pregnant and give her the most evil look ever. She goes "I am so sorry. Do you have any kids now?" I keep telling her "No I don't". At this point, I am fighting the tears. Then she goes "I am so sorry. If this makes you feel any better, you only look 3 mos. pregnant." I give her another evil look and ran out of the store. On top of feeling humiliated and angry, it makes me want to lose weight even more. I carry more of the weight in my belly so I guess I will be ramping up my workout routine to work off the gut. It is a shame how little people care anymore :(.


    I'm so sorry you've been subjected to such rude people!! How dare they speak to you like that! keep your head high and stay positive, you are beautiful and you will get where you want to be! x
  • jhoyett
    jhoyett Posts: 92 Member
    I'm assuming she was old...old people have no filters. I know it's hard, but try not to let it get to you. Picture how you'll look in 3 months, 6 months, even 12 months from now. Keep up the good work and learn to ignore rude people!!!
  • Bobbie2466
    Bobbie2466 Posts: 15 Member
    People can be so rude. A woman at a church I used to attend said congratulations to me because she thought I was pregnant. I was a little overweight and was wearing a bigger shirt but I wasn't pregnant. I was so upset that she had said this when I wasn't pregnant. I still was polite and told her I wasn't. Years later I saw another woman that I used to see at church and I had lost some weight and she said congratulations to me and I ask her what for. She said that someone had told her I was pregnant and already had the baby. I told the lady that said this to me that I never had another baby. My son is the only one I have I think he was 15 years old then. It upset me so much that day when that happened to me. I am still working on losing weight. Seven pounds more to lose to get to the normal healthy weight body mass index. Think about all the great things you have done and don't let rude people get you down. This gave me more motivation to get into better shape too.
  • _happycats_
    _happycats_ Posts: 105 Member
    I am so sorry this happened to you. People are so insensitive sometimes - way too much talking before thinking. It's even worse that she realized she messed up and I think tried to fix it but just spazzed out and made it even more uncomfortable and horrible. Just use it to fuel the fire and motivate you! (You are beautiful just the way you are, but if you're on mfp it's likely because you want to make a change) Add this to the bank of things that get you fired up when you feel like you have no motivation. I find anger is a great motivator for exercise :)

    Also: What self-respecting woman would ever ask that?? I worked a few years as a dental hygienist and we have to know that stuff for documentation, and because it can affect certain aspects of treatment (xrays, prescriptions, etc) and I absolutely refuse to acknowledge it unless they say it first. I had a lady come in who was tiny with a huge, round, beach-ball belly and I still just asked her if she had any changes to her health since her last visit. She replied with a strange look, a laugh and a "well...uhh, you may not have noticed, but I'm 8 months pregnant..."
  • kokoforskinny
    kokoforskinny Posts: 91 Member
    I was at the grocery store with my husband today and we had just finished checking out and were putting the last of our bags into the cart. There was woman that was checking out after us and she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant. I tell her that I am not pregnant and give her the most evil look ever. She goes "I am so sorry. Do you have any kids now?" I keep telling her "No I don't". At this point, I am fighting the tears. Then she goes "I am so sorry. If this makes you feel any better, you only look 3 mos. pregnant." I give her another evil look and ran out of the store. On top of feeling humiliated and angry, it makes me want to lose weight even more. I carry more of the weight in my belly so I guess I will be ramping up my workout routine to work off the gut. It is a shame how little people care anymore :(.

    This may not make sense but.....take her rudeness and use it as inspiration. Turn it into energy....it made you upset and sad. I know when I am upset I kick butt at the gym and cleaning my house. Don't let it get you down. You look great in your photo. You are so pretty. Skinny or big you can and will rock it.

    If you want to friend request me you are more than welcome to. We can push each other.

    Danielle
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    "Thank you, and may I compliment you on that major facial reconstructive surgery. In different lighting you would probably even look normal!"
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    7182012040744iwsmt.jpeg

    So glad someone posted this one. My thoughts exactly.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    I carry my weight in my belly too and it drives me crazy how heartless people can be - and it's usually because they aren't thinking.

    My dad always paraphrased Lincoln by saying, "Best to keep the mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it and remove all doubt."

    Please don't let the fools of the world derail your effort!!
  • G0julieG0
    G0julieG0 Posts: 5
    Soooo rude!!!! If they don't know they should just keep their mouth shut..
    Just use that fury as fuel to your calorie burning excercises....!!!!
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Sorry to hear that your feelings were hurt, but by continuing, she was probably just trying to make it sound less insulting. Forgive her, because she was probably really embarrassed, too.
  • jimmyalice1984
    jimmyalice1984 Posts: 171 Member
    Some women ask other women this question as a way to put them down. I've been reading all the comments here and the women who have been through this are all very pretty to say the least. You may carry a little bit of extra weight, but you still look beautiful and some women do say things like this out of bitterness and spite. Shame to say it but some women never grow out of their school playground mentality, it would be great to be quick witted and have a smart answer without missing a beat, but unfortunately we're not all blessed with this, I know that this type of comment isn't always about jealousy, more often thoughtlessness and ignorance, but whatever context it is made in you can be thankful that your mind doesn't operate on the same wavelength :flowerforyou:
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    yeah thats awkward but is it worth throwing away your whole day on the alter of :(
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    I have a feeling she was purposely trying to be rude. She knew you weren't pregnant.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    You just reminded me of a horrendous thing that happened to me. Back in my young free and single days I took a guy home after a night out, won't go into too much detail, suffice to say , at a pivotal moment, he asked 'have you ever been pregnant'
    Considering I was about 20 at the time, I can't imagine how my physical condition would have prompted this. Shocking!

    Maybe it was a fetish of his.
  • GretchenReine
    GretchenReine Posts: 1,374 Member
    OMG she kept talking??? I guess it's an NSV that you didn't punch her in the throat!!!
  • xMonroeMisfit
    xMonroeMisfit Posts: 411 Member
    Happened to me once, Fourth of july cruise with my fiance.

    He was more upset about it than i was because i had already lost so much weight and he was proud of me.

    He simply looked her in the eyes and said "Are you?" and she said "No" put her head down, turned beet red and walked away.

    I don't think people do this to insult or be rude, they do it to make conversation or be nice. Not many people will think hmm this girl looks fat let me go up to her and ask her if she is pregnant, that'll really make an awkward moment and piss her off.

    I believe she went on with the 3 months thing to try to make you feel better, like don't worry you don't look FULL on pregnant you have a little bump.

    Just go about your day and live your life. Contine your weight loss and let it fuel you to want to change your body even more. Don't waste your energy or emotions on it, especially when it's possible this lady really honestly meant no harm.
  • Katbaran
    Katbaran Posts: 605 Member
    The only time it is socially acceptable to ask a woman if she is pregnant is when the baby is crowning.

    This. Exactly.

    That poor idiot should just have put down the shovel she was digging herself into a hole with and apologized. Sorry this happened to you!
  • fit_librarian
    fit_librarian Posts: 242 Member
    Wow. That's so rude. :(
  • bizorra
    bizorra Posts: 151 Member
    This happens to me ALL.THE.TIME. I carry all of my weight in my belly and boobs.
    The worst is when I'm on the subway and little old ladies offer me their seat!! They're so insistent, but I don't want to announce to the whole train "no, I'm not pregnant!"

    Most of the time when I tell the person "no, I'm not pregnant" they're just as embarassed as I am and it ends there. This woman trying to back-pedal just made it worse. Maybe she was deliberately being rude, but more likely she was trying to cover up her embarassment, attempt to make you feel better.

    But on that note, this image speaks to me :P I will never ever ever ever ask a stranger about what I think to be a pregnancy (unless I'm offering a seat, because that's a sticky grey area)
    http://imgur.com/gallery/C4Q2A
  • treineck
    treineck Posts: 103 Member
    That really stinks, shame on her for being such an *kitten*! Don't let it bring you down though!
    I think you should've turned around (with a big smile and in a really sarcastic voice) and said: "gee that's funny you asked me cause I was actually going to ask you the same question!" then roll your eyes and look away ignoring any other stupid comments that come from her! :happy:
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
    Wow, people these days are so rude. Don't let it get to you
  • MaryRegs
    MaryRegs Posts: 272 Member
    people are ignorant...let it go and be the best you can be! don't give anyone the power to do that to you!
  • MsDover
    MsDover Posts: 395 Member
    I'm assuming she was old...old people have no filters. I know it's hard, but try not to let it get to you. Picture how you'll look in 3 months, 6 months, even 12 months from now. Keep up the good work and learn to ignore rude people!!!

    Yea, being "old" has nothing to do with it, since I've been eligible for AARP for 10 years now and my filters are just fine, thank you! Rudeness and insensitivity are driven by ignorance and stupidity, not age.

    In my youth, back when dinosaurs wandered the streets of Massachusetts, more than one time I had someone assume I was pregnant and say as much. It was mortifying. I wasn't even all that fat, but having had children I never did quite snap back the way I'd hoped. I would say, "No.... I'm just fat.... and no, it's not OK to put your hand on my stomach whether it's inhabited by a baby or not."
  • Narla444
    Narla444 Posts: 41 Member
    I can't believe she kept trying to dig that hole!

    I did ask that question once to my teacher - who was not pregnant. The only out I'm giving myself is that I was SEVEN! But it left enough of an impression that the question will NEVER leave my lips again.
  • JingleMuffin
    JingleMuffin Posts: 543 Member
    that sucks when people are so rude. it dosnet hurt to give it right back asfter beeing asked if you are pregnant say
    "no, are you?" even if its a man. or asked them if theyve had a botched nose job because theyre face looks so bad. sorry im just a rude person like you
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
    Just blatantly horrible. At least she didn't put her hand on your stomach like someone did to me.
  • Ewaldt
    Ewaldt Posts: 106 Member
    My best friend has been asked if she Pregnant at LEAST 5 times in her life, and she is 19!!! She is also not big in any way, and I am pretty sure it is just because she loves maternity tops, as do I, because they are so flowy and cute, and she is always has a glow about her.

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