Major Blow to My Confidence Today-Rude People

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  • heidimaggott78
    heidimaggott78 Posts: 203
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    Your profile doesn't say what country you are in.

    What you do - if it ever happens again - depends on how wicked you feel and how likely you are to see tham again.

    If they know you then you are a little limited but can get away with, "Now you of all people should know better than that" - very loudly.

    otherwise, thespian skills to the fore, crestfallen expression and sobbing voice - "Sadly, I am not now".

    You have not lied, but you may have - just a little - tacitly suggested that you MIGHT have been. I defy anyone to continue the conversation in the face of an apparent miscarriage.

    Alternatively, just get your husband to say, "Before you ask when the baby is due, be very, very sure....." - and leave the sentence unfinished. It carries more sting if you leave them to work it out. If they can't and do actually ask then tell them to think about it and leave...!

    You could take your cue from a story attributed to Sir WInston Churchill who, when accused by a female MP of being drunk in parliament replied, "Madam, you are ugly - in the morning I shall be sober".
    Pick on some physical attribute of the other person and let rip, if you dare!

    I carry nearly all my girth on my waistband - it is annoying that my arms and legs are getting spindlier but I assure my gut that its days are numbered every morning when I poke it - and turn a deaf ear to its reply that it has been over 60 years and counting so far.

    I am Welsh - sarcasm is an art-form

    LOL! I like those! I am an American and Welsh humor is always appreciated!

    My SIL likes to respond to offensive or overly personal questions by saying "i don't want to talk about it" . She says people automatically assume the worst and stop talking.
  • 8goodgirl0
    8goodgirl0 Posts: 127 Member
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    You just reminded me of a horrendous thing that happened to me. Back in my young free and single days I took a guy home after a night out, won't go into too much detail, suffice to say , at a pivotal moment, he asked 'have you ever been pregnant'
    Considering I was about 20 at the time, I can't imagine how my physical condition would have prompted this. Shocking!
  • raesma
    raesma Posts: 3
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    I agree. I absolutely agree it hurts. For some reason, though, people believe that pregnant women are community property. If you've ever been pregnant, then you know that total strangers think it's perfectly okay to ask you intimate details about your pregnancy and share theirs! Have you noticed how often people want to touch your belly? My husband once did this to a friend of ours (who was pregnant) and I was mortified! I asked him later if he thought it would be okay to touch her belly if she wasn't pregnant. Of course not! My point is that people are drawn to babies and pregnancy. It makes them forget manners and decorum. Consider that the woman stuck her foot in her mouth and then could not figure out how to extract it. She definitely should have apologized and left it at that but she was trying so hard to smooth over what couldn't be smoothed.

    So...you're doing the right thing. Take that as fuel for your personal motivation and keep on keeping on! Don't waste any energy on anger at that woman. She was thoughtless, not evil. And I'm sure she won't ever make that mistake again.
  • Missjilly1025
    Missjilly1025 Posts: 146 Member
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    That was terribly rude. I'm sorry she spoke to you that way.
  • BrawlerBella
    BrawlerBella Posts: 400 Member
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    In one ear, out the other. Don't let anyone steal your joy Doll!!
  • anifani4
    anifani4 Posts: 457 Member
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    I will never, ever understand why some people think it's perfectly acceptable to ask a woman if she is pregnant. Besides the obvious error of someone simply being overweight, what if that person is trying to conceive and having issues? What if they just lost a baby? There are so many cans of worms in that question - I never, ever bring it up.

    Exactly this.
  • Wturnbull
    Wturnbull Posts: 1
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    That is the craziest thing I have ever heard! I am so sorry for you that you had to go through such an awful experience...what a b#&*$%!!
  • nturner612
    nturner612 Posts: 710 Member
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    what a #$^!#$^#$^!#$ woman! I am SURE that she has mental issues! one time a woman that was bigger than me asked me if i was pregnant! u stay strong, do waht u r doing and PROVE her wrong! how inconsiderate!
  • Kat5343
    Kat5343 Posts: 451 Member
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    People are very insensitive... I witnessed this a lot when I was a teenager and working at a local grocery store... I was thin and young then (sigh)... My coworder had just had a baby about 3 months ago but still had a significant belly... Lots of our customers had gotten used to seeing her pregnant and they would ask her over and over when she is going to have that baby... She would be embarrassed and have to tell them she did 3 months ago... Most of the time it was older women.. I felt very bad for her..
  • boston6
    boston6 Posts: 158 Member
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    One thing I learned early, never comment on a woman being pregnant unless you're sure and never comment on a woman's hair, clothes, or anything else.

    Even if you say something like, "your hair looks nice today", it gets turned around to "does that mean it didn't look nice before"

    PS - Lady in line was a jerk. She was a jerk yesterday and she'll be a jerk tomorrow. Don't sweat it.
  • jennfranklin
    jennfranklin Posts: 434 Member
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    I also carry weight in my belly area! One time i was in the store and had to carry out two gallons of milk.. the lady wanted to carry them out for me.. so I let her.. Then she piped up and said, that she knew how it is to be so miserable and pregnant! I didn't have the heart to tell her that I wasn't! LOl! I just laughed and went on my merry little way!
  • ChristinaR720
    ChristinaR720 Posts: 1,186
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    Ugh - I am so sorry this happened to you. How horrible.

    My husband's grandma told me I looked pregnant a few weeks ago, and I just responded, "Nope. I'm just fat." Then, my husband took it one step further and added, "She can't get pregnant anymore. She got fixed." LOL!!

    Just know that you are a better person than that person will ever be.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    I will never, ever understand why some people think it's perfectly acceptable to ask a woman if she is pregnant. Besides the obvious error of someone simply being overweight, what if that person is trying to conceive and having issues? What if they just lost a baby? There are so many cans of worms in that question - I never, ever bring it up.

    Precisely.
  • LButterfly201
    LButterfly201 Posts: 164
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    I was at the grocery store with my husband today and we had just finished checking out and were putting the last of our bags into the cart. There was woman that was checking out after us and she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant. I tell her that I am not pregnant and give her the most evil look ever. She goes "I am so sorry. Do you have any kids now?" I keep telling her "No I don't". At this point, I am fighting the tears. Then she goes "I am so sorry. If this makes you feel any better, you only look 3 mos. pregnant." I give her another evil look and ran out of the store. On top of feeling humiliated and angry, it makes me want to lose weight even more. I carry more of the weight in my belly so I guess I will be ramping up my workout routine to work off the gut. It is a shame how little people care anymore :(.


    I'm so sorry you've been subjected to such rude people!! How dare they speak to you like that! keep your head high and stay positive, you are beautiful and you will get where you want to be! x
  • jhoyett
    jhoyett Posts: 92 Member
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    I'm assuming she was old...old people have no filters. I know it's hard, but try not to let it get to you. Picture how you'll look in 3 months, 6 months, even 12 months from now. Keep up the good work and learn to ignore rude people!!!
  • Bobbie2466
    Bobbie2466 Posts: 15 Member
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    People can be so rude. A woman at a church I used to attend said congratulations to me because she thought I was pregnant. I was a little overweight and was wearing a bigger shirt but I wasn't pregnant. I was so upset that she had said this when I wasn't pregnant. I still was polite and told her I wasn't. Years later I saw another woman that I used to see at church and I had lost some weight and she said congratulations to me and I ask her what for. She said that someone had told her I was pregnant and already had the baby. I told the lady that said this to me that I never had another baby. My son is the only one I have I think he was 15 years old then. It upset me so much that day when that happened to me. I am still working on losing weight. Seven pounds more to lose to get to the normal healthy weight body mass index. Think about all the great things you have done and don't let rude people get you down. This gave me more motivation to get into better shape too.
  • _happycats_
    _happycats_ Posts: 105 Member
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    I am so sorry this happened to you. People are so insensitive sometimes - way too much talking before thinking. It's even worse that she realized she messed up and I think tried to fix it but just spazzed out and made it even more uncomfortable and horrible. Just use it to fuel the fire and motivate you! (You are beautiful just the way you are, but if you're on mfp it's likely because you want to make a change) Add this to the bank of things that get you fired up when you feel like you have no motivation. I find anger is a great motivator for exercise :)

    Also: What self-respecting woman would ever ask that?? I worked a few years as a dental hygienist and we have to know that stuff for documentation, and because it can affect certain aspects of treatment (xrays, prescriptions, etc) and I absolutely refuse to acknowledge it unless they say it first. I had a lady come in who was tiny with a huge, round, beach-ball belly and I still just asked her if she had any changes to her health since her last visit. She replied with a strange look, a laugh and a "well...uhh, you may not have noticed, but I'm 8 months pregnant..."
  • kokoforskinny
    kokoforskinny Posts: 91 Member
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    I was at the grocery store with my husband today and we had just finished checking out and were putting the last of our bags into the cart. There was woman that was checking out after us and she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant. I tell her that I am not pregnant and give her the most evil look ever. She goes "I am so sorry. Do you have any kids now?" I keep telling her "No I don't". At this point, I am fighting the tears. Then she goes "I am so sorry. If this makes you feel any better, you only look 3 mos. pregnant." I give her another evil look and ran out of the store. On top of feeling humiliated and angry, it makes me want to lose weight even more. I carry more of the weight in my belly so I guess I will be ramping up my workout routine to work off the gut. It is a shame how little people care anymore :(.

    This may not make sense but.....take her rudeness and use it as inspiration. Turn it into energy....it made you upset and sad. I know when I am upset I kick butt at the gym and cleaning my house. Don't let it get you down. You look great in your photo. You are so pretty. Skinny or big you can and will rock it.

    If you want to friend request me you are more than welcome to. We can push each other.

    Danielle
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
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    "Thank you, and may I compliment you on that major facial reconstructive surgery. In different lighting you would probably even look normal!"
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    7182012040744iwsmt.jpeg

    So glad someone posted this one. My thoughts exactly.

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