Major Blow to My Confidence Today-Rude People
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Free Zinger:
I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can diet.
Yes, I HAVE used it.0 -
I hope some day when Im pregnant, everyone constantly tells me I look like a 19 year old who's lost weight.0
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What if you're fat and ugly?0
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Agreed. You can't ask a female if they are pregnant anymore? What is this world coming to? She should have ended it at the first no.she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant.
Maybe she was just trying to make small talk. I hear some people do that but it could be an urban legend...
It doesn't seem to me that she was being deliberately rude simply to try and hurt you. She made a social faux pas and didn't know how to deal with it. None of that really is something to be concerned over.0 -
This is the rule I always follow. Not worth taking the chance on being wrong.The only time it is socially acceptable to ask a woman if she is pregnant is when the baby is crowning.0 -
Do NOT...I repeat...do NOT let that ignorant idiot's comments shake your confidence! You are a beautiful, vivacious young woman with a lovely husband. Idiot was likely jealous. Hmmph! Shame on her.
Believe it or not, I got this same rude comment this summer. I'm usually a very passive, shy person, but I responded with the truth: "I'm 53 freakin' years old, in menopause, and you're a gigantic *kitten*!" Her comment was the last straw and that's when I joined MFP. Living well is the best revenge.0 -
I agree that people like that must have some issues of their own to be so insensitive. Just remember that it is not how people see you, but how you see yourself. In this case you are working on your weight and health. I doubt she is working on her mental health or manners!0
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Sorry that you had to put up with that rudeness, especially as you have made a positive start here. Well done on your loss so far.
It really freaks me out how some people view other people's bodies as public property, especially around fertility (and especially if you are recently married, I am guessing from your profile pic that maybe you are). Sample questions:
*Are you pregnant?
*Are you trying to get pregnant
*How many kids do you want
*When are you thinking of starting a family (accompanied with comments of a "Well, you're neither of you getting any younger you know")
This happened to me as well, a year or so ago. We went to see a house about buying it, and the lady vendor asked when I was due. Soon as I stepped in the door. Guess what? That house stayed for sale a while longer.
It was one of the things that motivated me (eventually).
However, I did notice, during the rest of the viewing, that she was generally rude, snobbish, condescending and downright unpleasant. So I'm guessing life wasn't actually going to be too much of a picnic for her in a lot of ways.0 -
ya when I was at my biggest some skinny thing asked me how far long I was I said "I'm not pregnant I'm just fat." Her mother just looked the other directions and the girl said "Oh uh no I meant you just have that glow. Do you have children?" I said "No" in a sharp manner. Then she wouldn't shut up and started rubbing her belly saying "I'm five months pregnant and I feel so fat!" uh she still looked like she weighed 100lbs and there wasn't a bump at all. I held back the tears but cried like a baby when I got home. I would never say things like that to people and I wish I knew how others do it. They must be crazy so they don't care.0
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That is awful. Some people are so oblivious to their rudeness! You this as motivation but don't burn yourself out at the gym because of her. I'm sure she feels like an idiot for not letting it go.0
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This was one person.
One clueless person.
One insignificant person.
This person should have no effect or impact on your life -- you don't know her, she doesn't know you.
This person should not be given the power to make you cry. Take that power away from her.
And please reframe this -- today you didn't run into someone who damaged you by their misassumption -- today you ran into someone who is themselves damaged, in that they have no impulse control, a low EQ and IQ and an obvious vision problem.
I find the best answer to any personal question from a stranger is "I'm sorry, do I know you?"0 -
I can believe people can be rude and insensitive but I can't believe she kept going on. My advice just ignore those people, smile and keep going. You are doing a great job and don't let anyone take that feeling from you.0
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If she was being honest....people think it anyways and you can't stop that......if you don't like the truth, fix it...people who lie set you back...someone once asked if I was pregnant...I laughed and went on a diet...they dont ask anymore0
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fyi.....I once asked a lady if she was pregnant, rudeness was not the intention...I honestly thought she was. She laughed and said no, I'm just fat
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try being a guy and being asked the OP question......0
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Or you could take all this as a sign and motivation to change.... just saying - your reaction colors what happens next.
You could work out or complain - I mean - i know you chose complain - but which do you think would have been a better choice?0 -
Hey, let this motivate you.....people can be so insensitive.
But.........You can come out on top!!!!! Keep on keepin on!!!!:flowerforyou: 0 -
Sorry you had to go through that. Some people are just way too nosy for their own business. Just blow it off and keep on going.
I have two autistic children, and I was in a grocery store once, and the lady a few registers over says to her husband, gee, I feel like I'm at the zoo. The clerk then says, spare the rod, spoil the child! I was so pissed off, I cried. That showed 'em. Well actually, it didn't show them anything. Now I think I would march right over there and set them straight. My point is: some people suck and that's the way it is.0 -
I was at the grocery store with my husband today and we had just finished checking out and were putting the last of our bags into the cart. There was woman that was checking out after us and she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant. I tell her that I am not pregnant and give her the most evil look ever. She goes "I am so sorry. Do you have any kids now?" I keep telling her "No I don't". At this point, I am fighting the tears. Then she goes "I am so sorry. If this makes you feel any better, you only look 3 mos. pregnant." I give her another evil look and ran out of the store. On top of feeling humiliated and angry, it makes me want to lose weight even more. I carry more of the weight in my belly so I guess I will be ramping up my workout routine to work off the gut. It is a shame how little people care anymore
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Honestly, it sounds to me like you need to be more quipy. She was a *****, if someone is insulting you I find that an appropriate time to remind them of general etiquette and insult them back . . . in this case it would have to be her intelligence.0 -
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It must be something about today... a man who works in the kitchen at my school (and speaks little english) rubbed his belly and looked at mine with excitement --- implying that i'm pregnant. He didn't say the words, but it was almost worse that he just pointed. I've been struggling to push through a plateau for soooo long and this morning I told my husband that I'm so sick of feeling like crap despite all of my effort... and then this happens. I'm sorry that lady was both rude, and clueless to your social clues. Let's pick up and start over right now! They can suck it.0
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I regularly had the same problem as I have a hiatus hernia and was diagnosed with gastritis and a h pylori infection so I was extremely bloated most of the time. I worked in a pub also and kept getting asked when it was due. its very upsetting. I feel so much better now I have been diagnosed and undergoing treatment and the weight is dropping off. Keep at it lass but if your bloated it may be worth seeing the gp.0
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WTF..who says "you only look 3 months pregnant" after you made it clear that you're not pregnant nor have any kids? That was grounds to deck her in the face.....
SERIOUSLY! I agree! who says that!!0 -
I'm so sorry that happened! What is it with people?? I went to pick up a prescription once and the pharmacist goes "When are you due?" I said "Due for what?" And she goes "Your baby." Umm... not pregnant, and you're filling my freaking birth control prescription!!!! It was over a high counter too and so many people were around. Some even gasped when I said I wasn't pregnant. Then she backtracked with "Oh, i'm sorry, it's just - you're glowing. You have that pregnant glow". I changed pharmacies and have never gone back because I was so mad. Ignorant a**holes!!!! :mad:0
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I have made the mistake of asking someone this question about being pregnant but first off it was a friend and second when they said no, I said nothing more and felt totally mortified. Sorry you had to go through that experience. Just use it to fuel your motivation to lose the weight you want and then if you ever see her again just say guess who doesn't look pregnant now!! good luck on your weight loss journey!!0
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The good news is, when you're done, you will have a healthy body weight and feel good about your accomplishment. And that clerk will still be stupid. You win. :happy:
Seriously though, I know how hard it is to un-hear stupid comments that hurt us. :explode: But try and put that clerk's opinion in the heirarchy of whose opinions really matter to you. Stranger you see once a month when you shop? Not so high on the list. And if it was someone who was mentally challenged, you'd probably not take it as seriously as someone who is "normal". I think we can assume for the sake of argument that clerk is, at minimum, socially challenged. As much as it hurt to hear it, maybe a lesson is learned and the clerk won't make a stupid statement like that to another woman coming through the line, who is emotionally in a worse place than you and doesn't have MFP to turn to for support. So basically, you just took one for the team!0 -
I've gotten this comment once, while standing in line at a grocery store. My husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, stood behind me and put his hands on my belly in sort of that stand cuddle thing. The lady behind me, whom I recognized from another store I used to frequent, asked "when is the baby due?" I was caught so off guard I had nothing to say besides "what baby?" Now I just get comments from the kids at the preschool I work for, like "you have babies in your belly" It seems to never end.0
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sorry you had that. people are so weird. hey, at least now you know what kind of person she is & you dont have to bother with her. but you want to do teh weightloss for YOURSELF.0
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I thought only dudes do things like this.0
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Am I the only person here that thinks you have over reacted a bit....I also carry my weight on my belly and someone once asked me if I was pregnant....to be fair my posture was bad, I was overweight and wearing a smocky kind of top....I thought it was quite amusing and it made me take a look at myself....not once did I consider the person to ignorant or rude...I looked pregnant...it seemed like a genuine question and I got over it.....I am bemused at why most people replying to this thread think this is an insulting comment...I bet she feels really bad about it and wanted the floor to open up....perhaps being more forgiving would help you move on... either that or have a look at how your hold yourself or what you are wearing....it would more likely be that than being overweight......good luck with the weight loss....try and not let folk bother you....0
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