Why women don't date fat guys?

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  • kayduro
    kayduro Posts: 249 Member
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    confidence and charm. You'd be surprised how gullible women can be. You'd also be surprised what you can do if you have a silver tongue.

    ^a great example of what turns me off! A slick slimeball. Everyone has their own type!
  • Faericn_Rising
    Faericn_Rising Posts: 235
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    Same reason men dont generally go for fat chicks. Inherent desire to reproduce with someone with good genes, and super shallow socially conditioned ridiculousness. So either change the world paradigm or get on your sneakers. Your choice.
  • noahbenny
    noahbenny Posts: 1
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    TRUUUE.
  • giggitygoo
    giggitygoo Posts: 1,978 Member
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    I suspect a man who wasn't physically active would find me incredibly annoying. It's a lifestyle thing for me, and it's more about my partner being able to keep up with my energy level than anything else.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
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    Alright I will explain a bit of what is called "Social Psychology re - love and attraction" into the mix.

    1st off...we all have priorities and somethings are more important in a relationship than others. You can figure it out using a scale from 1 - 10. Ex - The importance for attractiveness in a partner to me is a 5 while personality is a 9. Thus I will find a partner that matches my personality expectations before judging their appearance. Though appearance is still on the scale - it is not as important. Visa versa.

    2nd - We are naturally more attracted to those who are "similar" in nature. This includes -finances, education, art, and appearance. Ever notice how a lot of the time the really hot guy gets the really hot girl? The larger guy is usually seen dating the larger girl? This is the case MOST OF THE TIME (not all the time). You are most likely to date someone you socialize with - we socialize with people we feel COMFORTABLE around...which weight/appearance is included into this. I may not feel comfortable talking with a bunch of buff guys (as i wouldn't know their language, interests, etc) Though the medium sized male may be more to my comfort level. It really does come down to how we view ourselves and others.

    Bottom line - we all judge based on appearance subconsciously. Whether you want to admit that or not - it is basic human nature when picking a mate.
  • KarenJean91
    KarenJean91 Posts: 283 Member
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    I'd rather date a guy with some extra pounds than a skinny scrawny guy.
  • lenniebus
    lenniebus Posts: 321 Member
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    Date women who care about something more than looks.

    This seems like the key to me. You have to be willing to put yourself out there to find out though...
  • joywo
    joywo Posts: 39 Member
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    Great answer!
  • eve7166
    eve7166 Posts: 223 Member
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    confidence and charm. You'd be surprised how gullible women can be. You'd also be surprised what you can do if you have a silver tongue.


    Its true a guy with confidence (atleast pretend lol) can get any girl. I have seen good looking guys who walk around all hunched over and no confidence and they can never seem to get a girl. Just act like you're the man!
  • ifyouknew
    ifyouknew Posts: 68 Member
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    Lots of people here have stated the truth- many women have no problem dating fat guys. In fact, if I look around at couples on the street, there are a lot more women with fat men, than men with fat women. I personally am slim and have had serious relationships with two fat guys and two slim guys. It makes me wonder why you assume it's your weight that's the problem. Maybe you just don't have enough to offer? Thinking about the type of men I'm attracted to, I wonder:

    Do you have lots of diverse interests that make it fun to talk to you? Are you always working toward becoming a better person (seeking educational opportunities, trying to be healthier, etc)? Are you kind and generous (here's a test- how much volunteer work do you do)? Are you financially stable? (You definitely don't have to be rich- none of the guys I've dated have been- but you have to be able to pay your own bills and your expenditures should < your income, or life with you will just be way too stressful.) Are you trustworthy? Do you like to try new things, so that you have a fun life that a woman would want to be part of?

    If so, I don't think you'll have any trouble.
  • wonderfulboodad
    wonderfulboodad Posts: 36
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    That is a question I think only the women that do not date heavy men can answer. I know when I was on a dating site for a little I was surprised to see how many women listed that they were looking for athletic, physically fit body types and that they were looking for an adventurer as well as the prince charming. Now these were women in their 50's and I have news for them, those body types do not exist in a 50 yr old man very often. So I wait for the woman who can accept me who I am I as can her and we can support each other in what we want in life.
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
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    depends how fat. They won't date obese guys. But guys who are ~30 lbs overweight shouldn't have much of an issue. I find it funny how some women find those lanky hipsters attractive though.

    Yeah, I have to agree. Obesity makes us judge someone's lifestyle, even if we have no idea their reality. We assume someone so overweight is lazy, has little self control, etc., all of these things are not things people want in a partner. Now, this isn't always the reason why some people gained weight. It's a terrible assumption but an understandable one too.

    My personal reason why I wouldn't date someone obese: I live an active lifestyle, trying to push myself to be more active, and I really love a confident man. I've dated overweight men, even by 50 lbs- and it just did not work with my lifestyle. In my case, they were overweight because of bad eating habits and an inactive lifestyle. Not to mention, they were really lacking self confidence and that was a major turn off.

    I don't understand the attraction to the skinny hipster type, either though. I like big men, just active big men.
  • Skratchie
    Skratchie Posts: 131 Member
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    My husband was a big guy when we met; he's still a big guy, but losing weight (120 lbs so far) ... I didn't meet him with the intention of dating him, primarily because he's much younger than me. But he won me over with his personality and the way he treated me. And he's confident like no one I've ever seen at his weight, or even much smaller. He's just awesome, through and through. :-)
  • AngelRobbie
    AngelRobbie Posts: 153 Member
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    I'm 5'3 weigh 139, my man is 6'3 and weighs 350. Boom. Love that man!
  • ladyrider55
    ladyrider55 Posts: 316 Member
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    There's someone for everyone. Size shouldn't matter (that's a cop-out). What counts is what the person is like inside (kind, loving, fun, likes you for who you are, not what you should look like on the outside). That's my opinion, jus sayin... :wink:
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,443 Member
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    Because they don't want to lift a fat apron only to discover a vienna sausage.
  • AIotOfSweatAndPain
    AIotOfSweatAndPain Posts: 4
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    Because they don't want to lift a fat apron only to discover a vienna sausage.

    lol
  • ClassicPearl
    ClassicPearl Posts: 141 Member
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    A 300lb man who is confident, has goals in life, has good hygiene, etc. is different than a 300lb man who is woefully insecure, lazy, and a slob.

    I love men and women of all shapes and sizes, and I like both a little soft around the edges. But I don't love people who are slobs, who have no drive or motivation or who complain about things they can change. And that goes for people of ALL sizes. For me, it's not about anyone's body - it's about their mind and how their feelings about their body manifest and affect their attitude and outlook on life. I'm just as likely to be turned off by a fit person with a holier than thou attitude as I am to be turned off by a heavy person who doesn't care about life.

    ^ 100% agreed!!
  • littlelaura
    littlelaura Posts: 1,028 Member
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    Picking a partner based on looks alone will set a person up for failure in the long run, if they dont have a great personality, common interests, enough differences to keep bringing things new into the relationship and overall are just a kind, caring, strong, confident person, then they can have all the looks in the world and be as boring as a bag of bricks. maybe use them as free weights to change it up at the gym to hang onto them longer other than that, I perfer a man who can excite me with good conversation over a man who could turn heads like a QG model. When we get older , we are going to look older, be fit perhaps but your not going to escape the age thing, so a couple better have something to turn eachother on other than just finding the other to be personal eye candy if you wanna make it last a life time or as long as you can at least. Thats IMHO.
  • Hannah645
    Hannah645 Posts: 75 Member
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    Type #1 Overweight people ( both guys and girls) who do nothing except complain about their weight. There's a lot of blame and insecurity involved with their size. They're fat because of their parents, genetics, thyroid, etc. Those types of people would have a harder time maintaining a serious relationship. When you're having a conversation with them, you're constantly reminded that they're overweight and unhappy.

    Type #2 Overweight people who don't remind you every 5 minutes that they're overweight. Their demeanor is enjoyable and nothing at all like the life-suckers described in type 1.

    Try being type #2.

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