Why are you single?

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Replies

  • Dahllywood
    Dahllywood Posts: 642 Member
    I'm shy and don't get out enough
    I also have a condition that many girls can't get over once I admit it to them. you can guess what that means...
  • abby_curtis
    abby_curtis Posts: 3 Member
    I'm single because
    I deserve respect:smile:
  • harleydall76
    harleydall76 Posts: 586 Member
    I'm single because after the what my ex-husband did to me, I am finding it very hard to trust anyone else. It's taking a long time for those wounds to heal.
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
    A big reason is that I’m an introvert. That doesn’t mean I’m shy. I’ll talk to a group of strangers with no problem. It means that being out in crowds is more draining for me than it is for others. I’d do much better in less crowded situations like at church or engaging in a hobby (e.g. Habitat for Humanity).

    I would say the biggest reason is my job. I know it sounds like a cop-out, but here’s what is provided by my work situation:

    1) An extremely limited ability to meet someone at work. (I’m only allowed to be personal friends with about 20% of the people I work with, then you have to cut away my superiors, followed by the men, followed by the married women and then by the women who are in a relationship.)

    2) A job that pushes me, an introvert, to do many extroverted things, causing fatigue from which I need to recover.

    3) A job that doesn’t have set hours, making going out just to look in case I *might* meet someone difficult.

    4) A job that has a uniform I can’t wear out in the “usual” meeting places or even public places in general. So even if I have the energy and I’m out of the office on time, I still have to go home, do a complete wardrobe change, and then go out.

    5) A job with a schedule that had me “home” for 5 months, away in training 1 month, and deployed to the middle east for 6 months. This meant I was EXCLUSIVELY in the “limited ability to meet someone at work” environment 24/7 for most of the year and that, when I came home, it was hard to invest in things and people because I knew I would be leaving again in only a few months. (For my first two years, I was only scheduled to be home for 7 months, total.)

    6) A job that exposes me to and requires me to focus on relationships that have soured more than on those that are good and strong.

    7) 10+ consecutive years of fighting wars hasn’t exactly given many military officers an overabundance of free time to meet future SO’s. In fact, most of those my age who are married seem to have met their spouse back in college.


    The other limiting factor that exacerbates these two is that I was never around when my peers were starting their relationships. We left high school single. When I got to college, it seemed people around me were either already in relationships or did not get into relationships while in college. Then, after a couple years bouncing back and forth between the US and the desert plus one year in Korea, I come back to the states and even the friend who I knew through high school and was roommates with through all 4 years of college not only had met his girlfriend at work, but was MARRIED to her.

    I’m really rather confident in my ability to function in a relationship, as a boyfriend or a husband. But it’s the whole “starting” aspect that leaves me confused. It’s like knowing how to drive a car but not knowing where the ignition is.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    bump
  • DustinNagtalon
    DustinNagtalon Posts: 623
    Coz im tryingto get in the show, The Bachelor.
  • threeonethree
    threeonethree Posts: 182 Member
    Havent been on a date in years. Self conscious about my weight and feel like i've developed some sort of social anxiety. Shyness I guess? Weird because I used to be the opposite of how I am like 6-7 years ago.

    Sorry to hear about your fiancee. Cant even imagine what that would be like.
  • MDawg81
    MDawg81 Posts: 244 Member
    I have zero self confidence, so I can't imagine anyone else actually loving me to the point of not leaving me when something better comes along. Therefore, I just don't try.
  • erinxo13
    erinxo13 Posts: 892 Member
    I've always been single. I think when I have tired to put myself out there... it just always ended in humiliation and heartbreak. I'm not confident enough in my appearance or my weight so I think that really holds me back. I have always been made fun of and talked about because of my weight and appearance so... I guess I find it hard to believe that anyone would actually be able to like or love me in a romantic way. On top of that, my lack of experience in the relationship dept probably isn't helping either.

    I think I need to be more comfortable and confident with myself, and stop thinking about those in the past who have made me feel like a fool.
  • jmxxiiii
    jmxxiiii Posts: 231 Member
    Because my now former husband spent a year overseas with the Air Force, came back after putting our family through hell for a year and "realized" that being a husband and father isn't what he wanted, being tied down is boring to him. Yet he's now engaged to some woman who was a "mutual friend."

    Yea. THAT's why I'm single.
  • realme56
    realme56 Posts: 1,093 Member
    Sorry about your loss. I am a terribly independent person,I don't like checking in with anyone and I can't imagine changing my ways at my age.
    Got the dog, work, friends and a great daughter so I am not exactly lonely.
  • scottbrown78
    scottbrown78 Posts: 142 Member
    My wife wont let me have a girl friend that's why....
  • Rissyroo513
    Rissyroo513 Posts: 79 Member
    1) Trust is a big issue.
    2) I just don't know where to meet people.
    3) I'm taking this time in my life to work on me, getting my health on the right track and I'm in grad school so time is limited.
    4) I feel like what I'm looking for in a guy/relationship may not exist.
  • RubyWishes
    RubyWishes Posts: 28
    I'm too chubby and under confident
  • heartofviolet
    heartofviolet Posts: 119 Member
    I haven't quite figured out how to love myself let alone someone else.

    This about sums it up for me. Even if someone came along that would be perfect for me right now, I just don't think I'd be ready.

    Besides that, though--and related to it, I guess--I've become (emotionally, at least) an ice queen. I don't let people in easily, or at all, and I'm sure that's pretty off-putting for most people, haha.

    Also, I'm a lesbian, and finding a girlfriend isn't the easiest thing in the world when you're gay and not part of any community or anything, especially if you're not read as gay by others... I'm pretty sure 99% of people perceive me as straight. Sigh.
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
    im currently enjoying casual dating
  • Iknewyouweretrouble
    Iknewyouweretrouble Posts: 561 Member
    I'm shy and don't get out enough
    I also have a condition that many girls can't get over once I admit it to them. you can guess what that means...
    I must be dense...or naive..but curiosity killed the cat sooo...."condition"??
  • Iknewyouweretrouble
    Iknewyouweretrouble Posts: 561 Member
    I'm too chubby and under confident
    Psh you are gorgeous.

    I am single because I want to marry my best friend <3
    and right now I'm looking for my best friend!
    (hopeful romantic)
  • supernaturalfan_91
    supernaturalfan_91 Posts: 99
    Im single because im not pretty enough or skinny enough. Also I love my weights more than my men they are always there for me never lie, never cheat, never ditch me.... LMAO.. Oh yeah and I dont think any guy finds me attractive.
  • Jonesie86
    Jonesie86 Posts: 446 Member
    Because my now former husband spent a year overseas with the Air Force, came back after putting our family through hell for a year and "realized" that being a husband and father isn't what he wanted, being tied down is boring to him. Yet he's now engaged to some woman who was a "mutual friend."

    Yea. THAT's why I'm single.

    OUCH....so sorry :-/
  • Hallucihate
    Hallucihate Posts: 120 Member
    Cause I spend all my time playing video games.
  • Koshkaxo
    Koshkaxo Posts: 332 Member
    Im socially awkward. I have a hard time opening up to new people. I work in a town with a male : female ratio of like 10 : 1... Youd think this would be in my favour but really it means that most guys are lonely and horny. The past 3 friendships ive started with guys end up with them wanting to hook up rather than get to know each other first and then develop a relationship. Im not one of those girls whom has ever been hit on by guys before i moved here, so if a guy shows interest in me, I automatically think hes only interested in getting in my pants and so far its prove true. Its super depressing really :(
  • bettacheckyoself
    bettacheckyoself Posts: 570
    oopsy ..I thought this was a different thread...lol..disregard my post pls
  • ynotcycle
    ynotcycle Posts: 121 Member
    I do not know.
    Maybe because I spend to much time on this site?

    The girls I want to chat me up don't and the ones I don't want to chat me up do? /shrugs

    cashier at the grocery store today asked me what I was cooking for my wife, I showed her the lack of ring on my left hand and stated i'm currently single. She looked away for a moment then looked back and shyly said, youre pretty hot for a single guy.. jsut sayin, but you are.

    I was stymied for a second but told her it was the nicest thing anyone said to me all day.


    PICKY. L2SPELL IT PEOPLE

    P I C K Y translates to L O N E L Y
  • strikerjb007
    strikerjb007 Posts: 443 Member
    It's fun. That is all.
  • shamansa
    shamansa Posts: 96 Member
    I am not financially in the position to be in a relationship. I want to be only with the person I want to marry.
  • EmilyJackCO
    EmilyJackCO Posts: 621 Member
    I'm about to celebrate five years of being single because of too many years of seriously abusive relationships. I've spent those five years learning how to live for the first time, learning to take care of myself and not everyone else, and learning how to forgive.

    It's hard to even think finding a relationship again with the trust issues that I have, but maybe someday it will happen. Finding the right person at 40+ is going to be difficult any way I look at it, even before the issues. LOL! And not to mention the checklist of minimum standards that must be met. So I just hope to make a difference in the lives of the people I touch and that I can love myself as much as anyone else can, and that's an awful doggone lot. :)
  • EmilyJackCO
    EmilyJackCO Posts: 621 Member
    I do not know.
    Maybe because I spend to much time on this site?

    The girls I want to chat me up don't and the ones I don't want to chat me up do? /shrugs

    cashier at the grocery store today asked me what I was cooking for my wife, I showed her the lack of ring on my left hand and stated i'm currently single. She looked away for a moment then looked back and shyly said, youre pretty hot for a single guy.. jsut sayin, but you are.

    I was stymied for a second but told her it was the nicest thing anyone said to me all day.


    PICKY. L2SPELL IT PEOPLE

    P I C K Y translates to L O N E L Y

    I can't tell you how much I related to this. Picky doesn't necessarily have to equal lonely, though... I feel that I have to be terribly picky in order to make sure I don't make the same mistakes I have in the past. Sure, I do a lot of things on my own, but I do them, and I love it. I actually went to see The Hobbit with my best friend, and it was AWKWARD! I go to movies all the time by myself, concerts too... I insist on living a very fulfilling life all the same. I made the mistake of giving in too much and in the end, I was miserably lonely all the same. Picky means having the wisdom to know what you want and not ever having to compromise on yourself.

    All that being said - there are a lot of nights that really suck to come home to an empty and cold house. :/ And my kitty isn't going to be here forever.
  • Sweetsugar0424
    Sweetsugar0424 Posts: 451 Member
    I am single because I spent most of my life worrying about what men thought of me and I was only worth as much as men thought of me and I was tired of being like that and focusing on men. I tried dating for a few years after my second marriage ended and it just wasn't working out so I decided to give up on dating and focus on me, enjoying life and making me and happier and healthier person. I devoted 2012 to ME and now that it's almost over I have succeeded in finding that happiness and have no desire to start looking again.

    I have a teenage son that I feel I should focus on and raise and when he's grown I might find the right fit for me. I'm also early 30s and am done having kids which seems to be a huge thing for guys my age.

    It's really just easier for me to worry about me for now and when the time's right I will meet that person that I'm meant to be with. I don't plan on being single for life, just for now.
  • pawnstarNate
    pawnstarNate Posts: 1,728 Member
    I'm not and I'm awesome...that's why :P

    edit: I really should read first post before I seem like an *kitten*. Sorry for your loss of your fiance.

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