Do you feel like the weight will cure your "ugliness" ?

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  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    Yeah. I'm pretty sure I'll feel pretty once I've lost the weight. But who knows? Maybe I'll always feel hideous. >.<
  • Dawners98
    Dawners98 Posts: 120 Member
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    Here's my take on it. I was fit in high school and gained all of my weight afterward. I was a confident, happy kid, and it took me 14 years to turn into the sad, standoffish, shy, fat girl I had become - which, btw, went COMPLETELY against my personality.

    I never considered myself to be a 'fat' or 'skinny' version of me. I just considered me, ME! So, now that I've lost weight, I still internally feel the same as I had grown accustomed to feeling with all the weight. I spent 14 years feeling that way, so I figure it'll take just as long, likely, to stop feeling like that shy, standoffish fat girl.

    Losing weight is not a cure all. It is a great step in the right direction to a healthy and happy life, but it will not magically change you from one person to another. I think that part, the getting to know yourself again and see yourself the way others see you, is harder than losing the weight in the first place.
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
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    Maybe I'm all into sunshine, flowers, rainbows, unicorns and skipping through meadows singing "la la la la" in a happy tune, but I don't think anyone who posted in this thread is "ugly". :flowerforyou: :heart: :love:

    You're only ugly, if your heart/attitude is.
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
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    Well first of all, I am not ugly. Weightloss isn't going to change my features.

    That being said, I have flaws which I obsess about. I will never be perfect and it pisses me off. Nnothing is ever goig to change that. But I do know that despite the low self esteem, fundamentally I'm not ugly and it's unlikely I will become so.
  • illuminaughty576
    illuminaughty576 Posts: 63
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    it makes me feel "pretty" for a little but i feel like a few more pounds and i'll hopefully be a little less insecure about somethings;/
  • greenmeena
    greenmeena Posts: 118 Member
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    Well, OP, that is not at all how I view you. I can safely say that each and every 'before and after' post I see, I am struck by how gorgeous everyone is. Wanna know why? Because health, and pride in taking care of one's self and body, is BEAUTIFUL. I mean GORGEOUS. Seriously. So what if you don't have a perfect VS model's nose, or you have tiger stripes, or your waist isn't what you dreamed it would be. But you are healthy, and vibrant, and you gave a *kitten* enough to take care of yourself and go on this journey.

    It is normal for a person after a huge weight loss to still see a larger person in the mirror. That does fade with time, so the helpful part is to maintain the weightloss and know that your mind will gradually adjust to the "new you". It is a studied phenomena, actually. You're normal! You're ok! And I think you're beautiful, truly!

    Look at what qualities you love. Do you love your hair? Maybe your eyes? Focus on those things; buy new eyeliner, or some yummy hair products, and focus on those things.

    xoxo
  • Kamile69
    Kamile69 Posts: 87
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    me too.... :-(
  • mtabh
    mtabh Posts: 128 Member
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    I think I'm pretty. I just need to lose weight so I can get my confidence back. I think confidence is half of beauty, honestly.
  • pinkgumdrop123
    pinkgumdrop123 Posts: 262 Member
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    i don't feel ugly. I just feel more self concious after losing almost 40 pounds. Its weird but Ill get over it
  • believeinwhatswithin
    believeinwhatswithin Posts: 1
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    I have always thought I am not the shiniest apple in the basket. I guess that is just how it is, because it never seems to change. I haven't lost to much weight that is noticeable yet, but I think I will always feel the same way. I will just feel more confident in my health, but not necessarily my looks.
  • mtabh
    mtabh Posts: 128 Member
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    I definitely feel prettier when I am thinner since my face actually has some definition. When I gain weight, I tend to gain and lose fairly evenly all over, including my face, and my face tends to become shapeless and blob-like.

    Some people don't gain on their face and can still look beautiful, but I'm not one of those people.

    I second this! My face gets fat and that is when I truly feel unattractive. Only a bit over a week in and my face looks a tiny bit thinner already. I can't stand having double chins and all that nonsense.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    At my age, I am not concerned about being "ugly" per se....I am just concerned about the effects aging will have on what is left of my body after I finish losing weight. The fat was keeping my skin firm....now its puckered and I am not happy with the result. But its still better than being fat. And I figure I will never look like I am 20 again anyway. Just want to be healthy and look good in clothes. :)
  • SteveK279
    SteveK279 Posts: 134 Member
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    I agree - those who think they're ugly really aren't. I called over to my mother the other day to say hello & have a family dinner and she said something completely innocently but which might be relevant here. She told me I used to be better looking than my brother and wondered if I would be again after I've dropped the weight
  • mystiqu3
    mystiqu3 Posts: 8
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    I think you should try changing your surroundings and do something you were not able to do when you were heavier. For example, run a 5K, go rock climbing, etc. As far as feeling ugly you have to do things that make you feel attractive ,ie dressing up, pamper day, etc.
  • LMick1986
    LMick1986 Posts: 431
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    This makes me really sad that so many people have this hate for themselves. I understand it though. It takes more than just losing weight to feel confident in yourself. Sometimes it takes an incident.....sometimes it may just take time to finally feel like you're something special.
  • mtabh
    mtabh Posts: 128 Member
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    For the record, OP, you are not ugly. But remember that beauty isn't only on the outside - it comes from within. I know that's cliche but it is TRUE.
  • bridgelene
    bridgelene Posts: 358 Member
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    It makes me so sad that so many of you are feeling down on yourselves :frown:

    Me? I KNOW I'm a sexy beast.....I do acknowledge that I have some extra, but I'm still gorgeous! :glasses:
  • VeganZombie13
    VeganZombie13 Posts: 297
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    It makes me so sad that so many of you are feeling down on yourselves :frown:

    Me? I KNOW I'm a sexy beast.....I do acknowledge that I have some extra, but I'm still gorgeous! :glasses:

    haha Right on!
  • victorialkay
    victorialkay Posts: 70
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    I just feel so insecure and unattractive all the time and I used to say "Okay, when the weight comes off I'll be prettier." But those two times I lost 20 pounds? I still felt.. Ugly. Do you feel the same? Maybe I'm just insecure all the way around.

    Hi,

    I think the feelings of uglyness are stuck in your mind and losing weight has not solved the problem. Working on the real issue (which is the feelings of uglyness and insecurity) first will make you finally like and love yourself.

    Many people feel insecure but have a body that I am envous of but I also know people that are big and feel beautiful. It does not matter about someone's size but how they carry themselves.

    Have you ever thought of seeing a councellor or try to search the internet on ways to promote healthy body attitude.

    I believe everyone is beautiful and individual. And I really think that you should concentrate on things that you like about yourself. the world is your oyster, life is short so please do not waste it by hating yourself.

    So remember, love yourself, look after yourself and stay happy and healthy!!!

    You're beautiful!!


    Victoria.
  • RobinME
    RobinME Posts: 25 Member
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    I KNOW exactly what you mean! I've lost 108 lbs and still all I see is the fat I still have to lose.

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