Dads- if you're son wants a baby doll....?

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Mina133842
Mina133842 Posts: 1,573 Member
in Chit-Chat
So, my 21month old son is a little obsessed with babies, since my friend dropped by with her newborn son a month or two ago... His Sunday School teacher gave us a "Baby Jesus" wrapped "soap opera style" (where the lid of box is wrapped to easily separate from the box, ie- lift and no tearing of wrapping paper is involved) which he then carried around for a while and rocked and played with for a day and a half before Baby Jesus' head came off (think cheap $1 store baby doll, with stuffing already visible when doll was received)..so when my sister asked what he wanted for a gift, I suggested a Cabbage Patch boy doll - and hubs was a little weirded out by it.. I don't think it's a big deal, I grew up with 4 brothers, 2 of which had to help take care of us "little kids"- and figured they had practice at being Dads - what's the big deal?! right? Would you be okay if your son had a "doll?" I told my husband "he was just pretending to be a Daddy- like you." I don't know if he's just a little homophobic, or what?!
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Replies

  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
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    I would be a little weirded out by it, but I'd be cool with it.

    Let the child have what he really wants to have, if it is a positive and beneficial thing!
  • GeorgieLove708
    GeorgieLove708 Posts: 442 Member
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    I'm a mom, not a dad, but... My son doesn't specifically have a doll of his own, because we had a daughter first and already have 10 baby dolls, but he plays with them all the time. My husband doesn't have a problem with it. If I had to venture a guess... I doubt he's homophobic, but he was probably raised in a house where "boys don't cry" and "that's women's work" were common phrases. At least that's been my experience among guys who have a problem with their sons playing with baby dolls, toy kitchens, etc.
    Adding, try to help him feel better about it, but don't cave just because he doesn't understand. Playing daddy is an important and normal part of growing up.
  • theloppi
    theloppi Posts: 18
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    I don't see how this is unusual behaviour at all. I know my brothers used to play dolls with me when I was little! I don't think it's any indication of his sexuality either way (he is only very young after all). I think some people just buy into the whole 'boys like blue, girls like pink' dogma that all these toy companies push on us.
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
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    It sounds like something he'd enjoy and it is not dangerous/harmful (like if a kid enjoyed playing with knives or something).

    It is outside of the norm I suppose, which might be why your husband is off-put by the idea.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    I have two daughters. But, I used to work with babies. Some Dads were weird about the boys playing with dolls. But, it's very healthy for boys to want to mimic being a Dad. It's an important aspect of healthy development. I don't understand what the problem is (ignorance, I guess). Maybe if more boys played with dolls, we would have better fathers in this world.
  • eatathome
    eatathome Posts: 81 Member
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    I agree with you: get him the dang baby doll. I thought this was considered a "normal" thing for like. . .decades (didn't they have the "My Buddy" doll in the 80s?). Little boys should learn to be more nurturing anyway.
  • workhardplayhard
    workhardplayhard Posts: 41 Member
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    Well honestly I would probably put his John Deere Tractor and football next to him but if he chose the baby doll no worries
  • eatathome
    eatathome Posts: 81 Member
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    Also, I think your son is more secure in his masculinity than your husband.
  • trojanbb
    trojanbb Posts: 1,297 Member
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    Pretty sure I've read a few studies linking little boys and dolls to homosexuality. Can't remember if it either was an indicator of them already having gay tendencies or if it actually played a part in their sexual development.

    Either way, hell no. (Not a dad yet...but my son won't be playing with any dolls that I bought)
  • eatathome
    eatathome Posts: 81 Member
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    I think your son is also more secure in his masculinity than MaxBiker.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Pretty sure I've read a few studies linking little boys and dolls to homosexuality. Can't remember if it either was an indicator of them already having gay tendencies or if it actually played a part in their sexual development.

    Either way, hell no. (Not a dad yet...but my son won't be playing with any dolls that I bought)

    Wrong. There is no such study and if there is, it is not a peer reviewed scientific study.
  • GeorgieLove708
    GeorgieLove708 Posts: 442 Member
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    I know a father who have two daughers and one son. That son played with the dolls and what the hell..even gave the son a hand me down bike from one of he girls.. it was pink.

    He is the most feminin boy i have ever met.

    Why confuse the kid. boys should be brought up as men. Girls can get away with being raised a girl or even tomboyish - girls can still pull it off some how. Boys not.

    And my husband (and many others) grew up playing with baby dolls and is very much a "manly man". That has nothing to do with what toys you play with as a child. Beginning the process of learning to be a good, involved parent does start in childhood though.
  • djc315
    djc315 Posts: 585 Member
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    Boys grow up to be dads, right? So what is wrong with them playing with dolls.

    Pink and blue are just colors, why is it okay for a girl to like blue but if a boy likes pink he's labeled feminine? And sometimes even confused?


    Let the kid play with what he or she likes to play with, as long as it isn't harmful to themselves or others. Those things DO NOT make an individual gay or straight. Come on people.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    Let kids play with whatever toys they want. There are no girl toys and boy toys. Just toys.
  • rockerbabyy
    rockerbabyy Posts: 2,258 Member
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    I agree with you: get him the dang baby doll. I thought this was considered a "normal" thing for like. . .decades (didn't they have the "My Buddy" doll in the 80s?). Little boys should learn to be more nurturing anyway.
    QFT
    i dont really get the whole "boys only like blue and race cars" "girls only like pink and baby dolls" thing - my youngest wanted to be a boy pirate for halloween this year, and she rocked it. she wanted a Sportacus birthday party one year, it was awesome and she was thrilled. she loves legos and tonka trucks. she also plays barbies and baby dolls and princess tea party dress up. my oldest daughter loves to climbs trees and dig up worms and play barbies and polly pocket...
    both of my girls are interested in many things, and i feel i would be a horrible parent if i limited them only to what some in society feel are "girly" things.
  • LisaMarie8713
    LisaMarie8713 Posts: 310
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    My daughter always had baby dolls... my son is attached to his shark (stuffed animal) that he calls his baby. He's five, but if he wanted a doll, i'd let him have it. Teaches him how to parent, nurture and love another human...

    just my personal opinion. I had a cousin that I played with all the time, and he had a little boy cabbage patch that was his doll. I think it's perfectly normal.
  • juliaamilee
    juliaamilee Posts: 262 Member
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    get him a baby! I am a mom too, I let my son play with dolls. He even ran threw the house in his sisters princess high heel dress up shoes. With his sword and cape chasing his sister. He could run in them and she couldnt. LOL She was older, so he wanted to play too. I even painted one toe every time we did nails. He was satisfied with that just wanted to be included. LOL. He is all boy now. Nerf guns and video games are the thing at the moment. He was two when he played with the baby, ran with the high heels and soo on. LOL he is 10 now
  • Junken_Diraffe
    Junken_Diraffe Posts: 716 Member
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    I make dolls, so I may be biased. But my son has a doll. It's his best friend. It's not a "baby" doll, it's a little boy, dressed in boy clothes, with crazy fun colored hair. He loves Toby. Every time I make a new doll, he hopes I'm making Toby a brother. I sell lots of boy dolls. Not as many as girls, but still lots of them. Sometimes, my son takes Toby outside to play with him. He still p,Amy's cars and trains and fishes and digs in the dirt. He includes his buddy Toby when he does those things. I think it's perfectly healthy for a boy to have a doll.
  • Tw1zzler
    Tw1zzler Posts: 583
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    It's normal for little boys to want to play with dolls. Telling him he can't only raises questions, he'll lose interest as he gets older. My son had a play kitchen and now is a tough little hockey player!
  • eatathome
    eatathome Posts: 81 Member
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    Pretty sure I've read a few studies linking little boys and dolls to homosexuality. Can't remember if it either was an indicator of them already having gay tendencies or if it actually played a part in their sexual development.

    Either way, hell no. (Not a dad yet...but my son won't be playing with any dolls that I bought)

    Wrong. There is no such study and if there is, it is not a peer reviewed scientific study.

    "We conclude that strongly gender-typed toys appear to be less supportive of optimal development than neutral or moderately gender-typed toys."

    http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-005-7729-0?LI=true

    BAM
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