I Am Adam Lanzas Mother

Violence is not the norm in an autistic child and autism is not a mental illness. The media, in their handling of this tragedy, have done a huge injustice to autistic people and the ones who love them.

I agree with this too. I've never heard of an autistic child taking a violent action. That goes completely against the definition of the disorder. Perhaps, he was ADHD and because they have placed it on the spectrum, there was some miscommunication, but even ADHD wouldn't cause someone to act out violently. This man was suffering from something along the lines of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.

Wow...that was deep and moving and scary. I believe that this type of mental illness and dis-ease is rapidly becoming the rule of the day, rather than the exception. I believe that the greater majority of families in our nation are quietly suffering this type of trauma and drama in daily family life. It is more than sad to me... it is scary:devil:

I think if we as a nation and people dare to look at some of the major contributing factors in our lifestyles (because we ALL are a reflection of our nation/society...no matter how much we want to think otherwise)--there we will see the "elephant in the room" and if we are courageous and dare to look at our own lifestyle and make changes...we will indeed see a decrease to this madness (literally). In my opinion, these are some of the major contributing factors in this terrible matter:

1.) The "self-esteem" and everyone is "equal".a.k.a. there is no differences between us, no right and wrong, no differences between men and women, children and adults, good and evil, dirty is clean (look how we spend big bucks on looking raggedy, buying dirty looking jeans and "distressed" clothes, women walking around looking like cheap h@@kers of yesteryear and absolutely proud of it--AMAZING, walking about looking like bums and paying top dollar,--it's ALL GOOD type of thinking, living, doing and being" and we're all the same hype--we must be able to do, say and be whatever we want to H&LL with everyone else::indifferent:

In our society today, we worship and cling to "if it feels good and we want to...do it--no matter what it does to our selves, our families, our bodies, our society--just DO IT because I want to (spoiled brats thinking and living)" mentally--ever man/woman for him or herself a.k.a. "spoiled and pampered" child run and worshipped mentally/society. Children today are the "bosses" of their homes and families--that what I have observed over the past, say 25 years or so. Parents are now at their children's "beck and call", children are absolutely "fearless" and not trained nor taught that there is a distinct difference in adults (and privileges and lifestyles of adults are and should be different for children) and are taught such in schools and their homes and our western society that discipline, self-control, responsibility, hard-work, earning your keep or reaping the "worldwind", respecting and honoring your elders are a thing of the past That putting a child in his or her place and teaching them at an early age that if they dare to disobey (that means to obey RIGHT AWAY and with a sweet and gentle attitude to boot--any other so-called "compliance is NOT true obedience--in my book anyway), that talk back and or not have a pleasant and agreeable, humble attitude when told what to do, will cause them to reap serious consequences (and I aint talking about not telling them work on games or toys either)...No...those days are gone, the days of LESS IS MORE, waiting and working HARD for what you want and considered today as --Draconian at best and evil at least.

Johnny or Suzy can't read? Drug em....don't spend time with them, because we're busy chasing the almighty dollar to get more stuff to keep Johnny and Suzy BUSY and DISTRACTED so we can do what we want to, when we want to. We now look at and proudly admire living in a 140 character society as a way of communicating with one another--if that doesn't show and tell us something, nothing will.


Think about it--when parents/people cared what society thought of them--when not only your parents tore your behind up for "acting out/up" but teachers and neighbors did too--When morals, values and standards kept people from doing what-so-ever they felt like it---you just didn't hear horrendous stories like this--did it happen? Yes, it happened--but it was RARE, it was the exception--not the rule, as it is today. We as a society are ALL guilty of petting and pampering and spoil brat lifestyle--from/for our children and ourselves as well.

When this was the rule of the day (teaching your children to honor and obey their parents) and raising/training children on being humble, kind and wise---you NEVER heard of children cussing their parents out, let alone killing them, as you hear so much of today. Yes...we now have children who can speak their minds, and as we beg them to pretty please do thus and such, in the name of a "kinder & gentler" society...we now have a nation wroth with mental illness and trauma and drama and woe!

2.) Television, computers, games and entertainment is the rule of the day in most homes. Interacting with your own children and spending time with them is RARE. We as a nation and society have replaced personal presence and time with the baby sitters of T.V., movies, music, and FUN, FUN, FUN, more is better! No rules, no regulations, no holds barred--if it feels good--do it. Consequences are not to be considered, nor even mentioned--until it's too late.

3.) What's causing our nation to be doomed with the epidemic of obesity is very much akin to this epidemic of violence and mayhem. The underlining reasons are just about the same: Greed/gluttony, laziness, apathy, fear, I want to do, eat, be what I want, when I want and how I want and if anyone DARES try to stop me...I'll go off. This is what happens when children rule and when adults abandon their responsibility of teaching, training, raising God fearing, parent honoring children....

Of course, this won't be popular--but that's a wee bit of my take on it...I can be wrong, I'm wrong about a great many things in this ole life, that's for sure!

I read this article this morning. Very powerful, and unfortunately, very accurate.

My sisters family is battling a similar situation, I won't say diagnosis because there has been none, but a similar situation with her adopted 17 year old son. It's been a battle since he was a toddler. Now what ?

My heart hurts for everyone involved, the children who are acting out because they can't help it; and the parents that are forced to live in a situation that they can't control.

I wish there was something that would be done, and done quickly.

Wow...that was deep and moving and scary. I believe that this type of mental illness and dis-ease is rapidly becoming the rule of the day, rather than the exception. I believe that the greater majority of families in our nation are quietly suffering this type of trauma and drama in daily family life. It is more than sad to me... it is scary:devil:

I think if we as a nation and people dare to look at some of the major contributing factors in our lifestyles (because we ALL are a reflection of our nation/society...no matter how much we want to think otherwise)--there we will see the "elephant in the room" and if we are courageous and dare to look at our own lifestyle and make changes...we will indeed see a decrease to this madness (literally). In my opinion, these are some of the major contributing factors in this terrible matter: .........................................

Bad behavior and bad upbringing are not the same things as actual mental illness.
No societal change would alter the way my son's brain is wired.

I'll 2nd that. My disorder would not be any different if my parents had raised me differently... they actually did a great job, which is why it's so hard to talk to a therapist - they typically think I don't even need therapy until I have to fess up to an emotional outburst that happened at home.

I'm sorry but I really don't agree. People have mental health issues all over the world but school shootings don't occur as regularly as they do in the USA. Maybe if guns were illegal and people stopped blaming the government, the illness, the health care etc instead of looking closer to home these tragedies wouldn't occur.
Maybe I am being too controversial? I'm sure I'll get many responses as to why I am wrong!

Making guns illegal isn't going to stop those people who already get them illegally from obtaining them. All that is going to do is stop the law abiding citizens who know how to respect the weapon from having them. No matter what is done people who obtained guns illegally will always obtain them illegally. I would be very hard pressed to find a responsible gun owner who would know how to obtain an illegal firearm off the black market. IT just doesn't happen.

And for the record most of the school shootings have been done by someone who has had some sort of deep rooted psychological issue that people knew about but ignored and also I think that there have always been these types of violent tragedies happening it's just that now the media sensationalizes it so much that we're more aware of them.

While gun control doesn't stop those who obtain guns illegally, it certainly helps make it more difficult to obtain them. I'm a Canadian, and I know that we have a lot less of this gun crime here; however, I know many people(my mother included) who own guns. She had them from her youth, and then when an amnesty was declared, she was able to keep her guns. Her father was a collector and had some very rare pieces that we were forced to sell to a dealer when he passed on because my mother couldn't get an acquisition license to keep these guns for whatever reason(I believe there were additional special restrictions on the weapons he had). I don't think less gun crime in countries like Canada and Australia comes down entirely to the gun control laws. Look at the cultural differences between us and the US. They are vast. We're generally more united as a people and a country than Americans are(I apologize to anyone who takes offence to my generalizations; this is just my take on things. An opinion only).

While it's true what they say that "guns don't kill people; people kill people", the fact that guns get into the hands of people who kill people is horrifying. In an ideal world, there would be no guns and no need for them. But, we are not in an ideal world and solutions must be found to prevent these situations in the future.

I would also like to note that I am sickened by the number of gun owners in the US rushing out to aquire more weapons after this incident because they're afraid of the government placing restrictions on their ability to purchase guns. Really? Your guns are THAT much more important than the lives of others? That's just sad. How about some gun owners get together and sell their guns and give the money to the families affected by this tragedy? That would send a message that some people care about other people's rights to life, liberty, and security of the person(as it says in our Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms) as they do their own.

Is there evidence that Adam Lanza was violent, similar to the child in the link posted? Just curious as I have only seen him described as being quiet, odd, withdrawn, etc.,not as violent.

Wow...that was deep and moving and scary. I believe that this type of mental illness and dis-ease is rapidly becoming the rule of the day, rather than the exception. I believe that the greater majority of families in our nation are quietly suffering this type of trauma and drama in daily family life. It is more than sad to me... it is scary:devil:

I think if we as a nation and people dare to look at some of the major contributing factors in our lifestyles (because we ALL are a reflection of our nation/society...no matter how much we want to think otherwise)--there we will see the "elephant in the room" and if we are courageous and dare to look at our own lifestyle and make changes...we will indeed see a decrease to this madness (literally). In my opinion, these are some of the major contributing factors in this terrible matter: .........................................

Bad behavior and bad upbringing are not the same things as actual mental illness.
No societal change would alter the way my son's brain is wired.

I'll 2nd that. My disorder would not be any different if my parents had raised me differently... they actually did a great job, which is why it's so hard to talk to a therapist - they typically think I don't even need therapy until I have to fess up to an emotional outburst that happened at home.

I just want to thank you for posting. You give me hope for my daughter.

Wow...that was deep and moving and scary. I believe that this type of mental illness and dis-ease is rapidly becoming the rule of the day, rather than the exception. I believe that the greater majority of families in our nation are quietly suffering this type of trauma and drama in daily family life. It is more than sad to me... it is scary:devil:

I think if we as a nation and people dare to look at some of the major contributing factors in our lifestyles (because we ALL are a reflection of our nation/society...no matter how much we want to think otherwise)--there we will see the "elephant in the room" and if we are courageous and dare to look at our own lifestyle and make changes...we will indeed see a decrease to this madness (literally). In my opinion, these are some of the major contributing factors in this terrible matter: .........................................

Bad behavior and bad upbringing are not the same things as actual mental illness.
No societal change would alter the way my son's brain is wired.

I'll 2nd that. My disorder would not be any different if my parents had raised me differently... they actually did a great job, which is why it's so hard to talk to a therapist - they typically think I don't even need therapy until I have to fess up to an emotional outburst that happened at home.

I just want to thank you for posting. You give me hope for my daughter.

You're welcome! There are certainly ways to deal with it all. The biggest help I've had is consistency. I'm on my 2nd marriage and the main reason why my relationship hasn't failed yet is because my husband so consistently supports me and any effort I make to remain stable or get help when I feel I need it. He even entertained couples counseling for a while when I thought it would help us better understand how my problems interfer with our relationship. The best thing you can do for someone you love who is dealing with a mental illness is to just be there, be patient and be willing to go through the process of healing with them.

Thank you for sharing.

Personally, ANY child who threatens to kill someone, regardless of whether they have a behavior affecting condition, should be taken seriously. I have no doubt that this mother of Adam's was negligent in having the guns in the house.
His violent nature most likely had more to do with another of the disorders that occasionally occurs concurrently with autism. We are fortunate in our family that we don't deal with any of those. My autistic grandson is a sweet, loving child and I would hate for anyone to be fearful of him because of the half truths of the media

Personally, ANY child who threatens to kill someone, regardless of whether they have a behavior affecting condition, should be taken seriously. I have no doubt that this mother of Adam's was negligent in having the guns in the house.
His violent nature most likely had more to do with another of the disorders that occasionally occurs concurrently with autism. We are fortunate in our family that we don't deal with any of those. My autistic grandson is a sweet, loving child and I would hate for anyone to be fearful of him because of the half truths of the media

yeah, I'm not sure what to believe in terms of Adam specifically, people who knew him have reported that he was a shy, withdrawn, very bright, and polite kid (yes I say "kid" because he's younger than me, heh). You're right though it's impossible to tell from media sources what kind of person he really was

Also, 5 pages without name-calling or complete disrespect for other human beings. This thread deserves a medal

Automatic assault rifles are illegal. I bet that is not what she had.

Wow...that was deep and moving and scary. I believe that this type of mental illness and dis-ease is rapidly becoming the rule of the day, rather than the exception. I believe that the greater majority of families in our nation are quietly suffering this type of trauma and drama in daily family life. It is more than sad to me... it is scary:devil:

I think if we as a nation and people dare to look at some of the major contributing factors in our lifestyles (because we ALL are a reflection of our nation/society...no matter how much we want to think otherwise)--there we will see the "elephant in the room" and if we are courageous and dare to look at our own lifestyle and make changes...we will indeed see a decrease to this madness (literally). In my opinion, these are some of the major contributing factors in this terrible matter:

1.) The "self-esteem" and everyone is "equal".a.k.a. there is no differences between us, no right and wrong, no differences between men and women, children and adults, good and evil, dirty is clean (look how we spend big bucks on looking raggedy, buying dirty looking jeans and "distressed" clothes, women walking around looking like cheap h@@kers of yesteryear and absolutely proud of it--AMAZING, walking about looking like bums and paying top dollar,--it's ALL GOOD type of thinking, living, doing and being" and we're all the same hype--we must be able to do, say and be whatever we want to H&LL with everyone else::indifferent:

In our society today, we worship and cling to "if it feels good and we want to...do it--no matter what it does to our selves, our families, our bodies, our society--just DO IT because I want to (spoiled brats thinking and living)" mentally--ever man/woman for him or herself a.k.a. "spoiled and pampered" child run and worshipped mentally/society. Children today are the "bosses" of their homes and families--that what I have observed over the past, say 25 years or so. Parents are now at their children's "beck and call", children are absolutely "fearless" and not trained nor taught that there is a distinct difference in adults (and privileges and lifestyles of adults are and should be different for children) and are taught such in schools and their homes and our western society that discipline, self-control, responsibility, hard-work, earning your keep or reaping the "worldwind", respecting and honoring your elders are a thing of the past That putting a child in his or her place and teaching them at an early age that if they dare to disobey (that means to obey RIGHT AWAY and with a sweet and gentle attitude to boot--any other so-called "compliance is NOT true obedience--in my book anyway), that talk back and or not have a pleasant and agreeable, humble attitude when told what to do, will cause them to reap serious consequences (and I aint talking about not telling them work on games or toys either)...No...those days are gone, the days of LESS IS MORE, waiting and working HARD for what you want and considered today as --Draconian at best and evil at least.

Johnny or Suzy can't read? Drug em....don't spend time with them, because we're busy chasing the almighty dollar to get more stuff to keep Johnny and Suzy BUSY and DISTRACTED so we can do what we want to, when we want to. We now look at and proudly admire living in a 140 character society as a way of communicating with one another--if that doesn't show and tell us something, nothing will.


Think about it--when parents/people cared what society thought of them--when not only your parents tore your behind up for "acting out/up" but teachers and neighbors did too--When morals, values and standards kept people from doing what-so-ever they felt like it---you just didn't hear horrendous stories like this--did it happen? Yes, it happened--but it was RARE, it was the exception--not the rule, as it is today. We as a society are ALL guilty of petting and pampering and spoil brat lifestyle--from/for our children and ourselves as well.

When this was the rule of the day (teaching your children to honor and obey their parents) and raising/training children on being humble, kind and wise---you NEVER heard of children cussing their parents out, let alone killing them, as you hear so much of today. Yes...we now have children who can speak their minds, and as we beg them to pretty please do thus and such, in the name of a "kinder & gentler" society...we now have a nation wroth with mental illness and trauma and drama and woe!

2.) Television, computers, games and entertainment is the rule of the day in most homes. Interacting with your own children and spending time with them is RARE. We as a nation and society have replaced personal presence and time with the baby sitters of T.V., movies, music, and FUN, FUN, FUN, more is better! No rules, no regulations, no holds barred--if it feels good--do it. Consequences are not to be considered, nor even mentioned--until it's too late.

3.) What's causing our nation to be doomed with the epidemic of obesity is very much akin to this epidemic of violence and mayhem. The underlining reasons are just about the same: Greed/gluttony, laziness, apathy, fear, I want to do, eat, be what I want, when I want and how I want and if anyone DARES try to stop me...I'll go off. This is what happens when children rule and when adults abandon their responsibility of teaching, training, raising God fearing, parent honoring children....

Of course, this won't be popular--but that's a wee bit of my take on it...I can be wrong, I'm wrong about a great many things in this ole life, that's for sure!

Da *kitten*? Have you ever met anyone with a mental illness? Cuz it's sure as hell not this.....