Children throwing tantrums in stores! What??
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I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.
Spanking is acceptable. It is not the same as beating your kid, it should not be done out of sheer anger, but utilized in a way to get your childs attention. BA in music with 3 declared minors.0 -
me too! so many parents just give the kid what they want to keep them quiet, though he probably should have left the store and came back in to try again after, props for him to not give in even when I'm sure the screaming child put him under the judgmental eye of everyone around. Maybe the tantrum was now handled flawlessly but it seems he is trying and his child now knows that even if he wants to scream and kick for 40 minutes in a store, that will indeed still not get him what he wants.I am glad the dad didn't give in and buy what the kids wanted...0 -
I agree, 45 minutes is WAY longer than I would have stayed at the store, but it's not my place to judge.
If you were able to spend 45 minutes in a craft store you should get some kind of papier-mâché medal for Psychological Endurance And #1 Grandpa0 -
I had a a family aquaintence who once bragged to me and my husband, after I remarked at how Rebekah was so wonderful, not pouty at all like she used to be! She used to be very moody, pouty, would cry over the littlest slights, and throw tantrums. Now she was smiling, happy, got along with her siblings....
They replied with a long story of how they performed an exorcism on her. First they prayed and fasted for a week, then the men of the family took the 5 year old to a specially prepared room, tied her up, prayed over her deliverance. It took a couple of hours but it worked.
0.o
we never talked with them ever again after that story.0 -
I am not a parent and feel their pain. They really are in a tough spot in this situation.. But, I'm Asian and we don't really deal with the tantrums like they do in US. We just get a slap and that is the end usually.
However, our parents realize that the people around them don't really give a crap about their situation and just want this to be over. I mean, going to a mall or store is not really a big deal but imagine going to a nice restaurant and having to put up with somebodys elses child. Once again, I understand that you're in a tough spot however don't make your problem my problem. I am trying to enjoy a meal. Be kind to me too and take the kid out. Discipline or console him anyway you wish but at least take him out so the others don't have to suffer...
ETA: There are a few restaurants in US now who have a zero tolerance for crying babies. They flat out ask you to leave if your kid doesn't stop and/or you don't take the kid outside to deal with it0 -
It bothered you so much because you were traumatized from being BEAT as a child. Get help BEFORE you ever have children.
Been there.
I'll also add that perhaps that child is autistic? You don't know them so please don't be so quick to judge. Did you offer to help him? Perhaps the father NEVER takes the kid out by himself and he was shopping for his wife for Christmas? I've seen a lot of this lately. Most parents would have taken the child out of the store the moment the 'fit' started, but with the pressures of 'shopping' and running out of days to do it, he probably just wanted to get done and get out. I'm sure he wasn't enjoying the moment. When my son was 3 and had a tantrum in a store, I walked away from him, he got up, shut up and walked towards me when he saw I was going to leave him there. However, nowadays, you cannot leave your child out of fear something worse will happen.
God bless you and have a beautiful day!0 -
It's easy for you to judge the parent, who most likely was completely embarrassed and wasn't allowing his kid to act that way. That's what kids do, my daughter throws fits ALL the time in the store, I try to calm her down anyway I can, which is probably what the dad was trying to do. I don't care what other people think, if they don't like it who cares? not me! Just because they throw tantrums in store DOES NOT mean they aren't disciplined, kids WANT EVERYTHING and are strong minded individuals and that's how they show it. Get over it!0
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Oh honey don't go there I have it worse I have grandparents that throw a tantrum so imagine lol. I totally feel you!!0
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Discipline is one thing - but beating until you bled? That's called abuse and there's absolutely NO justifiable reason for it.
Kids have tantrums. It's a fact of life. There are all kinds of ways to try and handle it, and so much of it depends on the personality of the kid.0 -
My dad would have given me an old fashioned whoopin. "The Stick" was a feared item in my house. Just a piece of 2" door trim, but it got the job done.
If it were my kid, I would have completely ignored him. Just talking to him in that state riles him up more. If ignoring doesn't work, time to go home, even if you're not done shopping. End of story.0 -
I thought I knew everything about kids. Was full of annoyance at public tantrums. Judged my family and friends. Swore up and down that MY KID would Never do that (insert various bad annoying behaviors here)... UNTIL I had a kid.
You seriously have no clue until you have to deal with it yourself. and if you plan on making them bleed with a belt or any other weapon for that matter, please get yourself spayed....0 -
Is it possible that his son might be autistic or have some other sort of condition? I've worked with autistic children in the past and there's nothing that will stop a tantrum really. The littlest things can set them off. You just have to pray for strength for the parents and hope they find something that works for their child.:flowerforyou: you never know the struggles of a family. I guess working with those kids made me think twice.
ETA it put the wrong icon
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That may be true, but it doesn't mean the father handled it correctly. When the child started throwing a tantrum, it was time for them to leave. No need for punishment or what-have-you, just leave. It shows the child that behavior is not acceptable in public.0 -
You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
^this0 -
Maybe because you don't have children you don't understand the emotions of a child. My two year old is an angel 99% of the time. But imagine that every disappointing event in life felt like the worst thing that has ever happened to you. No matter how slight. That is what is happening to children. Not getting a toy feels like you whole family just died in some tragic accident. Children don't know how to deal with all of those overwhelming feelings. Just think, someone else's crying kid sent you to a message board to rant to a bunch of strangers on the internet. Honestly its not much different. You are just lucky that none of us can beat you with a belt for it. And from what I have read there seem to be a few volunteers already.0
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Be a parent first friend second. You are the one who sets the rules. You get down in their face eye to eye and you say that this kind of behavior is unacceptable and if it continues you will leave the store and he won't be allowed to come back until he stops. There was many times I left and didn't come back with my daughter. When she realized I wasn't joking around and there were consequences, and I meant what I said and that I consistently followed through with what I said she soon learned. I only spanked her once and that was when she was 1 and heading for an electrical outlet( this was before we had cute little plugs now)
This method also worked with my grandson. Don't say something and the don't follow through! They soon learn how wishy washy you are and walk all over you. Your job is to parent and set a good example and set guidelines within a loving firm atmoshphere! You do that and they will be your friend when they get older. My daughther is 34 and my grandson is 14 and I am proud to call them my friends as well as my family.0 -
I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.
What bubble do you live in?0 -
You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
This. You are one of those people that I stare at like :huh: when you give me and my screaming child the side eye. I DARE you to say something to that parent when their child is mid-tantrum. You think you can do better, I'll send you my 3 year old for a week. Get the *kitten* over it. I hope you get stuck next to some screaming babies on your next flight. :flowerforyou: Happy holidays.0 -
The kids was 4! 4 year olds have tantrums! I have 3 kids and all of them have thrown their fair share of tantrums, but I would have never beat them until they bled. My kids are good kids, and guess what....I don't have to beat them to make them behave.
The boy could have been autistic or have ADHD. You never know. Imagine how hard it is for the parents when they are getting dirty looks from people like you.0 -
I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.
What bubble do you live in?
I have a college degree and my fiance has a bachelors and 2 masters degrees and we both think it is okay to spank your children. There is a big difference in spanking your children and beating your kids.0 -
^This.I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.
What bubble do you live in?
Seriously?0 -
How old were your kids when you started spanking them? How old are they now?
The first time I spanked my daughter she was 3 and trying to stick her tongue in an electrical outlet. My kids are 7 and 6 now, daughter turns 8 in March.
To me the hand is much more dangerous than a belt or a switch, because the hand is much harder... A belt just stings. #1 rule is you don't spank out of anger.
We'll agree to disagree. Tried to stick her tongue in an electrical outlet......why not remove her from it, watch her more closely or even put covers over them. I find it difficult to find a time where spanking has a benefit. At those young ages <4 I have a hard time believe the child can really rationalize/explain the spanking.....at the older ages >4 there are more effective methods and you can reason with the children.0 -
Hitting is only okay between two consenting adults who have agreed in advance upon a safeword.0
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If a child is acting like that the parent removes the child. Immediately. Put down your shopping, pick up the kid and outside. Now. Your child has no right to be ruining other peoples peace. Kids are noisy sometimes, that's expected and normal and no one minds. But an over the top tantrum and nothing being done? Oh hell no.0
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I used to think kike this until I got one of my mine own
Also my parents would have spank my tail if I ever did that. One time my dad spanked me in front of my classmates since I wanted to keep acting up in school.0 -
My daughter threw ONE fit. That's it. One. I don't remember what it was for. But, she threw herself of the floor kicking and screaming. I then threw myself down kicking and screaming. Made a real scene. She was 3. She looked at me like I was nuts...... so did most of the store....... I stood up, looked at her and told her it looked just as stupid when she did it, and if she EVER embarrassed me like that again in public, she would get a spanking. Never did it again.0
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Let me say first off I DON'T believe in hitting children. In my opinion spanking does not work and is totally unnecessary.
When my kids acted the fool in a store or other public place, I would walk away. Never out of my line of sight, but they didn't know that. For example, if we were in the grocery store and a tantrum started, I would start walking up or down the aisle. That usually did the trick! they'd stop hollering and scurry after me. The few times that did not work, I picked them up and we left the store.
When kids are throwing tantrums, it's best not to give them attention for it. If I was the dad in your example, there is no way I would have tolerated him screaming for 45 minutes. I would have left the store and taken him home.
For the most part to avoid tantrums with little ones, you need to be preemptive. Make sure they are well-rested, well-fed, and hydrated before you take them out. If you take hungry, tired, thirsty kids out shopping you are guaranteed a cranky time. Also bring a bag of things to occupy them: books, small toys, small snacks, paper, crayons, etc.
I agree, 45 minutes is WAY longer than I would have stayed at the store, but it's not my place to judge. But very good advice, they want an audience, even at home if my son starts acting out or throwing a fit I tell him he can go do that in his room because I won't pay attention to him while he acts that way. He usually goes in his room for like a minute then realizes it's boring when there's nobody there to watch you!
This is my parenting approach as well. I know that if this doesn't work and his tantrum starts rolling (that's what we call it in our house when he just can't reign it in and it just keeps growing and there are no right answers) that he is way over tired and over stimulated. The only way I would have him out in a situation like that for that long is if I had no other options and no other time to run the errand. Sometimes you go into a shopping trip thinking "I'm pushing my luck here, but this 1.5 is all I have between now and Christmas and if I don't get it done there will be no Christmas (food on the table for dinner, etc)."0 -
I don't have a problem with crying kids, even though when I was little if I cried in public I got one warning and if I continued we left right then and there. Getting denied fun things made me stop that behavior real quick.
This^^ quite frequently, but on the days that I got real bad there was a slap - but my mom's look/stare (this was her warning) was usually enough to stop it with a quickness....we new what would come next.0 -
I'm saying I didn't throw tantrums. If I did, I'd get it bad with a leather belt. And it worked on me. I was spanked for backtalking, pouting, and crying (if I was warned and didn't stop). When i was older (6-9) I was spanked for getting grades below a B. I was raised right, and disciplined well. I grew up fine, had good grades, wasn't rude, was thankful for what I got, and respected my parents...who chose to discipline me.
I worked with kids a lot when I was in HS (daycare). This was when i decided I would never have them. I don't hate kids, but I don't ever want one.
Wow. You got spanked for crying and grades lower than a B?! So does that mean that while you're being spanked -- sorry, abused -- if you cried you'd get abused harder? You think that is discipline? So based on this when you're in a relationship and the man decides that he just wants to start hitting you you're ok with that because it's discipline? Honey, what you grew up with is NOT normal in the least. NO ONE should hit their child so hard that they leave welts that bleed. I got spanked as a kid, sure but it was a hard whack on the butt and that was it and I never got beat for bad grades. Grounded? Hell yeah but never, ever did I get beat for a bad grade and guess what? I was an honors student.
Without suffering a beating.0 -
I thought I knew everything about kids. Was full of annoyance at public tantrums. Judged my family and friends. Swore up and down that MY KID would Never do that (insert various bad annoying behaviors here)... UNTIL I had a kid.
You seriously have no clue until you have to deal with it yourself. and if you plan on making them bleed with a belt or any other weapon for that matter, please get yourself spayed....
Do you let your child tweak out in public, say, at a restaurant, where people are trying to enjoy a meal? Yeah, it sucks dealing with a screaming, freaking out child, but to subject those around you to that is not cool. I know what you mean, I have a 10 month old, who has her moments. I also have nephews 7mo-3.5yrs) who aren't always perfect. When they act up, they're removed from the situation- even if its only to continue the freakout in the car.0 -
*eye roll*
You obviously don't have children. For all you know that boy could have been autistic, speaking from experience, there isn't really anything you can do to stop that behavior when it starts.0
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