A question for men with wives/significant others

If my husband was deliberately cooking things he knows I don't like (you said you didn't really like bacon and ham) then I would have no reservations about refusing to eat it. I'd spend Sunday making a month's worth of meals for myself and freeze them. He can eat whatever he wants.

I agree.

Especially as you've communicated with him about this, and he continues to do so.

My husband of 23 years has not joined my crusade to lose weight. I'm eating much differently than I used to. I still eat "regular" food, but have made many changes with portion control, types of food eaten, sodium content (still a work in progress), etc. He is aware of what I've accomplished and is supportive and happy for me.

I used to do the majority of the cooking for our family. I cooked healthier fair with veggies and leaner protein at each meal. And I was able to tweak what I was cooking for me to make it even healthier. However, since I started working a new full time job in October, he has taken over that job because I get home so late. Unfortunately, his food preferences don't line up with mine.

Though I really appreciate his efforts, he doesn't care how much fat, sodium, protein, etc. that he adds to his menu. He loves pizza, ham, bacon, sausage, Alfredo type sauces, pasta, gravy, fried foods, ice cream, desserts, and bread to just name a few. We both love vegetables, but he doesn't always prepare them and puts bacon and such in the veggies often. I'm not and never have been a big bacon or ham person and don't share his affinity for it <<<as she ducks for cover, knowing how MFP folks feel about that>>> It isn't hard to stay away from the desserts, but when I get home and am really hungry and ready to eat a meal...

My question is: If you spent at least an hour after working all day preparing a meal for your wife/SO and family, would you be offended if she didn't want to eat parts of it? The last thing I want to do is hurt his feelings.

yes i will be offended, 2nd i will tell her if she doesnt like my food she can cook her own

and if u hate him cooking then cook after work for the next day

If he knows that you are trying to eat healthy and he continues to make things that are unhealthy I would think he shouldn't expect you to eat it. Maybe after talking with him, telling him your true feelings he may make more adjustments in his cooking for you and the family. If he doesn't change his cooking style after your conversation..well that just wouldn't be nice and he couldnt expect you to eat what he makes if he is making thing that he knows you can't (won't) eat. Its kinda like pouring a recovering alcoholic a big glass of there favorite drink, knowing they are in recovery and then getting upset with them for not drinking it...not to mention putting the temptation our there and a set up fpr failure. Or even making someone with diabetes a high sugar meal and the getting upset that they don't eat it, even knowing that they are diabetic...does that all make since?
Only my opinion Sweet Girl )

Charlee

Your husband seems supportive, you said it yourself, so don't get too mad that he isn't doing everythinggg he should be. Change is hard for everyone. I begged my family to change certain habbits, to keep certain foods out of the house because I have difficulty controlling myself when they're around, and they wouldn't. It's not that my family isn't supportive, or loving, it's not that they don't care. They do, and they want to see me succeed. Change is just hard, for everyone. It sounds like something so small, but small routine changes can feel pretty big to someone who doesn't WANT the change. You were ready for this change, he wasn't. When you love someone, of course you should be willing to make sacrifices. So yes, idealy, he SHOULD change his cooking habbits. Idealy. However, no one is 'ideal' and no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws, as does every relationship. Change is not easy, especially when it's not a change you want. He COULD be more supportive, sure. However, don't forget all of the support he IS offering. You have to continue communicating how you feel with him. Discuss the issue at hand, see if you guys can figure out a solution that works for both of you. Maybe, you should suggest he stop cooking for you. I know when you get home from work, you're tired and you don't want to cook, I get that. So, see if maybe he can just put a little of what he's making aside, beforeee he adds the high-calorie stuff that he likes, so you can add whatever seasoning or flavoring you like when you get home, if any. Or, you can try cooking food when you have the time, and putting it aside so you can throw it in the microwave when you get home. Orrr, you can still eat what he makes, just eat a smallll portion, and keep other healthy foods stocked up that you can snack on or stick in the microwave so that you can fill up on that if you're still hungry. There's a solution there somewhere that will work for both of you, you guys just have to cooperate with one another and find it. I know this isn't easy, so best of luck!!!

You're all growed up now - eat what you want.

Wifey: I'm making blah blah butter fat fried such and such.

Me: Ok, tear it up. I'm going to have some grilled chicken and veggies....

You can always cook your meals for the week ahead of time if you don't want to eat what he cooks. Also, you can eat just a little of what he cooks and a big salad that way you still are eating a healthy meal and he still feels validated that you ate what he made.

I do not know if this was suggested or not, but if time and ease are the issue, look into pinterest or the internet in general for one of those blogs that describes how you can buy like a whole month of groceries and make 30+ crock pot meals ahead of time, for instance on a Sunday afternoon.Basically, after you go grocery shopping, you chop/slice/dice whatever you ingredients you have and mix up spices etc for meals and pre assemble them into freezer bags. This way you can control your sodium and other things. Then all you do is throw it in the crock pot all day and let it cook. You could make almost anything. You could do the same pre assemly thing and make a casserole or something instead. Even if you didnt utilize this every day of the week, it would probably seriously help you out as far as eating healthy and not having to cook when you get home after a long day of working.

I do a majority of the cooking in my house. First, because I enjoy cooking, second because of my wife's work schedule and lastly because I, like you, am doing my best to cook healthy food.

Fortunately for me, my wife also cooks healthy. Although from time to time we both stray! :-)

As for not eating something prepared by a spouse (wife or husband). I say it is okay, it is hard enough to lose weight and improve our health without being undermined by a person who is not on the same page in life.

I would let your husband know up front that if he is going to cook a meal that does not meet your dietary needs. He should cook for one.

In my house I was always the culprit when it came to poor food choices. This created health problems for me and bad habits for my family. Since I made the change to a healthier diet, my children and wife have improved their eating habits. Mostly because I stopped buying & cooking high fat & high sodium food.