why do people care that someone is fat?

You're asking for honesty, because it's 'gross'... to be honest, I worked at hooters and serving overweight people fatty foods grossed me right out!

I can't eat with people who are overweight and make bad food choices because it creeps me out too.

Maybe I sound mean, but I can't help it!

Great honesty, to be sure, but so glad I can add to the list of people I would NOT want to get to know on this site.
Yikes.

PS You can "help" it if you truly wanted to--it's called compassion for others.

Don't judge me... she asked for honesty so I gave her honesty. I have compassion for those who help themselves. If you're drowning yourself in your own sorrows, I can't be sympathetic... why would I be? You don't care about yourself, so why should I?

I bet you're a joy to be around

I don't have a lot of big friends, but I do have some. My roommate was over 200lbs when she moved in with me, because she lives with me and I pushed her to make some changes and be more active with me. She lost about 50lbs in less than a year. She is SO MUCH happier with the way she looks and feels. I have friends that have theiroid (however you spell it) problems and can't lose weight, I workout with them at the gym. They love me because I push them. If a person is ready and willing to help themselves, I'm ready and willing to help them. If they want to drown themselves in food and continue to get fatter and fatter... no sympathy or compassion coming from me.

Have you ever had someone scream profanities at you out their car window when you walking down the street?

Point and laugh at you when you are sitting in a chair and your fat is pointing out the sides?

Throw food at you?

Not give you job opportunities because you are fat?

What about, going with your friend to their friends house and their friend literally saying you are not allowed to enter their house because you are so fat.

I have NEVER seen ANY of this happen to a person who is a regular weight. Sorry for being so 'sensitive' though, I should have just kept my depression to myself.

That is all.

Yes. For instance, let's look at my race...

As an Asian-American living in Blacksburg during and after the VA tech shooting I've gotten much worse than just profanities yelled at me (mostly from townies, students hardly did).

I've had many things thrown at me in my life, oddly enough its from other asians (asians around here don't like "americanized" asians, plenty of times when I've been spit on or had beer/food thrown at me in parties or at the bar).

I've been discriminated against (mostly racial) plenty by ignorant people, and yes I've been declined job positions before, although I can't say for sure it was because of my race (although I've had plenty of racist managers).

That's called having a bad friend, you choose your friends I don't choose them for you.

People are more than just their weight and are judged for a variety of things other than their weight/body.
Got any more?

Yep, people can be racist and people are discriminated against for other reasons than weight. I am just saying comparatively there is a lot more discrimination against fat people versus people of a normal weight. The amount of abuse I copped was not just sometimes, it was every single damned day. Fat discrimination is a socially acceptable form of discrimination. Unlike racism, people justify fat discrimination with stuff like 'well, they are a burden on society' or 'they're just weak and lacking in self control therefore it's OK'.

When I was morbidly obese I had 0 friends (except for the couple of people who were not good friends), nobody wanted to be my friend because of my weight. I was constantly turned down jobs (surprise surprise, when I lost the weight my career opportunities vastly improved), I do not believe for a second this kind of **** happens regularly to slim people. Sorry.

And for the record, no matter how fat I was, I never made fun of another person for how they looked. Not once, EVER.

But you just acknowledged that those things DO happen to people who are not necessarily overweight, but because of their race, age, sex, orientation,etc. These things happen very regularly to people regardless of their weight, and unfortunately many of the same arguments are used. It doesn't make it right that it happens to someone who's overweight, but it's hardly true that "daily discrimination" only occurs to overweight people.

I definitely acknowledge that, for sure. But it's not a daily thing, and generally people who are of a normal weight and who are not living in a society with a lot of racism etc. do not have their looks define them. Being obese seemed to define me. Wherever I went, I wasn't just a girl or a woman, I was the fat girl or the fat woman. I have read stories about women who were slim putting on fat suits and being shocked at just how differently they were treated by people in general. People either ignore you or abuse you.

I am trying to be incredibly positive here with you, but you can't seriously think that there's a society with no existing, LONG standing issues of race, sex, religion, etc. where people don't encounter it on a daily basis. I'm not discounting your experiences, which may have very well been daily tortures, but you can't possibly think that the looks many people have from the moment they're born don't often result in discrimination. It would be one thing to say, "I felt like this when I was obese; I felt like society treated me like this because I was obese" but it's another to say those things coupled with, "And NO other group gets this treatment daily."

Errr.. can you please point to where in any of my posts did I say no other group faces discrimination? I see racism all the time, I see islamophobia, homophobia and sexism (directed to both men and women) regularly.. but these are not socially acceptable forms of discrimination. They are generally frowned upon, whereas fat discrimination is rife and justified by people. Also, I am comparing discrimination faced by people of a normal weight vs fat people.Another poster suggested that slim people get teased and bullied by fat people more than fat people get teased and I'm sorry but that just isn't true. I've stated multiple times that I got treated differently than others when I was obese. I am no longer obese and guess what, nobody treats me that way anymore. It pretty much sums it up.

I said daily. I bolded the part in your earlier post where you said no one gets it regularly but obese people. I also specified "daily" in my most recent post. Please read your early semantics and MY points against those. You also flat out said that it would only happen in a "country with racism," as if there are magical countries where there ISN'T some form of racism. I was as specific as could be on what issue was rankling.

As jayche pointed out, though, making fun of overweight people is hardly an "acceptable form of discrimination." You got it daily... that is, as you yourself said, anecdotal. Because they did it didn't make it socially acceptable; it made them *kitten*, or bullies, in the same way that women routinely get demeaning comments if they're walking down the street in a skirt, or an African-American gets told he or she can't come into a club; you just happened to get insults for being overweight, and internalized that as, "Society makes it okay to make fun of those who are overweight."

I would consider "socially acceptable" discrimination is being barred from office, in writing, because you are gay, or you're an atheist. Or having property values go down because of a "racial makeup" of a neighborhood. These are things that are discriminatory, but still happen, and sometimes legally. I see you live in Australia; I wonder what an Aborigine would say about your comment that they don't experience daily discrimination, or that it's not socially acceptable to discriminate them.

The same study you linked to about attractiveness has also been talked about in psychology for several years, and guess what? You're neglecting to include the portion that said physical unattractiveness (based off of symmetry of features and flattery of makeup/hair/clothing), regardless of weight, had the same effects for people. So, ugliness, something many would consider subjective, lent these people the same sort of "different attitudes" and "failing to pass interviews."

Edit to say: So, in other words, discrimination/bullying is a core problem of "hurt the other because we are scared/hurt," you just happened to be more aware of being one "other" over the other.

Also, apparently you didn't gather what others have said to you and I wasted my time here... sigh.

Because fat people are disgusting and they lack all discipline. If they would just quit eating 3 pizzas and a 12 pack of coke every day, they'd be fine. They sweat all over me, and sometimes on public transit or in tight spaces, my clothed leg touches a fat person's clothed leg and it's like OMG, my leg is touching big fat blubbery flesh. One time on an airplane. I had to sit for like three hours with my leg pressed against the leg of a fat person... it was absolutely traumatizing for me... I mean a FAT LEG was TOUCHING ME.. ewwww. They are lazy and are on welfare and they feed their kids junk all day making their kids fat too. If someone lets themselves get like that, they clearly have no self respect and probably have a lot of mental problems so they deserve to be ridiculed, maybe it will make them lose the weight.

You need to lose 146 pounds and you're talking about fat people being gross?

I'm 190, and I don't feel like I have a right to do that >__>

Edit: well, I suppose you've lost 28 out of the 146, but still.

Because fat people are disgusting and they lack all discipline. If they would just quit eating 3 pizzas and a 12 pack of coke every day, they'd be fine. They sweat all over me, and sometimes on public transit or in tight spaces, my clothed leg touches a fat person's clothed leg and it's like OMG, my leg is touching big fat blubbery flesh. One time on an airplane. I had to sit for like three hours with my leg pressed against the leg of a fat person... it was absolutely traumatizing for me... I mean a FAT LEG was TOUCHING ME.. ewwww. They are lazy and are on welfare and they feed their kids junk all day making their kids fat too. If someone lets themselves get like that, they clearly have no self respect and probably have a lot of mental problems so they deserve to be ridiculed, maybe it will make them lose the weight.

You need to lose 146 pounds and you're talking about fat people being gross?

I'm 190, and I don't feel like I have a right to do that >__>

Uh... right, because clearly what I posted was not tongue in cheek....:ohwell:

Because fat people are disgusting and they lack all discipline. If they would just quit eating 3 pizzas and a 12 pack of coke every day, they'd be fine. They sweat all over me, and sometimes on public transit or in tight spaces, my clothed leg touches a fat person's clothed leg and it's like OMG, my leg is touching big fat blubbery flesh. One time on an airplane. I had to sit for like three hours with my leg pressed against the leg of a fat person... it was absolutely traumatizing for me... I mean a FAT LEG was TOUCHING ME.. ewwww. They are lazy and are on welfare and they feed their kids junk all day making their kids fat too. If someone lets themselves get like that, they clearly have no self respect and probably have a lot of mental problems so they deserve to be ridiculed, maybe it will make them lose the weight.

You need to lose 146 pounds and you're talking about fat people being gross?

I'm 190, and I don't feel like I have a right to do that >__>

Er... pretty sure she was being facetious.

I hope so. Sadly, I've seen people talk like that and they weren't.

It's hard to tell over the internet, so I do apologize if she was kidding.

Pretty sure she was kidding, lol. Fact of the matter is everything she typed is how a lot of people really act! Sad but true. I've had people straight up tell me things like "I was going to hold the door open for you but figured you needed to work your arm muscles a bit". REALLY, REALLY? People think that a person's size or appearance makes them less deserving of very simple acts that show common courtesy, and it's SAD.

Because fat people are disgusting and they lack all discipline. If they would just quit eating 3 pizzas and a 12 pack of coke every day, they'd be fine. They sweat all over me, and sometimes on public transit or in tight spaces, my clothed leg touches a fat person's clothed leg and it's like OMG, my leg is touching big fat blubbery flesh. One time on an airplane. I had to sit for like three hours with my leg pressed against the leg of a fat person... it was absolutely traumatizing for me... I mean a FAT LEG was TOUCHING ME.. ewwww. They are lazy and are on welfare and they feed their kids junk all day making their kids fat too. If someone lets themselves get like that, they clearly have no self respect and probably have a lot of mental problems so they deserve to be ridiculed, maybe it will make them lose the weight.

You need to lose 146 pounds and you're talking about fat people being gross?

I'm 190, and I don't feel like I have a right to do that >__>

Er... pretty sure she was being facetious.

I hope so. Sadly, I've seen people talk like that and they weren't. Actually, someone posted something serious like that on the thread earlier.

It's hard to tell over the internet, so I do apologize if she was kidding.

Also, I saw her reply to me (I don't remember what your name was), and ah! I'm sorry if I offended you by bringing up how much you had to lose. I thought about saying "no offense" but I think that makes things seem more offensive .__.

Lol, I have a weight ticker and post my weight all over the place. You didn't reveal any big secret! It's plain as day. Relax. everything is copacetic!:flowerforyou:

Uh... I don't know.

I've been told to "eat something" about 1.5 billion times more than I was ever told to "stop eating" when I was fat.

People 'care' about all kinds of things.

i dont care if someone is overweight but i hate gluttony. im a waitress and we have bottomless fries and people eat six baskets of them just because they can. then they drown it with ranch which is 150 calories an ounce. then they have the nerve to say the booths are too tight...hmmmm maybe because you ate four days worth of calories in one meal.

Uh... I don't know.

I've been told to "eat something" about 1.5 billion times more than I was ever told to "stop eating" when I was fat.

People 'care' about all kinds of things.

I guess I got lucky. My mom never had a problem telling me I should watch what I ate, even when I was a normal, healthy weight. -__-

Oh yeah I definitely meant as an adult. My mom also had no issue taking out her own weight issues on me as a kid. She still tries to "compete" with me about weight. Alrighty, then.

I've lost 22 lbs to date, and my mom still gives me crap like I'm not making any effort at all. Ugh, annoying but effective, I suppose. One of my motivations is proving her wrong.

Uh... I don't know.

I've been told to "eat something" about 1.5 billion times more than I was ever told to "stop eating" when I was fat.

People 'care' about all kinds of things.

I guess I got lucky. My mom never had a problem telling me I should watch what I ate, even when I was a normal, healthy weight. -__-

Oh yeah I definitely meant as an adult. My mom also had no issue taking out her own weight issues on me as a kid. She still tries to "compete" with me about weight. Alrighty, then.

I've lost 22 lbs to date, and my mom still gives me crap like I'm not making any effort at all. Ugh, annoying but effective, I suppose. One of my motivations is proving her wrong.

When I had a BMI of roughly 15 and was starving myself, my mom used to ground me for not eating and send me to my room... without eating. When I gained weight from a cortisol issue, she made sure to point out how fat I had gotten.

I think the common thread here is "toxic moms." But I digress.

Oh we could have a field day with an awesome mom thread.

I can only speak for my husband, because I don't really care. I mean, morbid obesity...yes...I do feel bad sometimes. Life is about choices, and unless it's medical reasoning, you made a choice to be the way you are. If you are content with it, awesome! If you're going to piss and moan about your weight while shoveling ice cream in your mouth...well...I don't have much sympathy. BUT, I'm not going to blast it in your face.

Now my husband? He was once "fat" per se. He lost over 50 pounds, joined the Marine Corps, got lean and built, and now feels the need to criticize or give me the "look" when he sees a morbidly obese person pass by. I give him the..."Why is it such a big deal?" and he doesn't respond. I think he sees what he was and feels a need to criticize.

You're asking for honesty, because it's 'gross'... to be honest, I worked at hooters and serving overweight people fatty foods grossed me right out!

I can't eat with people who are overweight and make bad food choices because it creeps me out too.

Maybe I sound mean, but I can't help it!

Great honesty, to be sure, but so glad I can add to the list of people I would NOT want to get to know on this site.
Yikes.

PS You can "help" it if you truly wanted to--it's called compassion for others.

Don't judge me... she asked for honesty so I gave her honesty. I have compassion for those who help themselves. If you're drowning yourself in your own sorrows, I can't be sympathetic... why would I be? You don't care about yourself, so why should I?

I bet you're a joy to be around

I don't have a lot of big friends, but I do have some. My roommate was over 200lbs when she moved in with me, because she lives with me and I pushed her to make some changes and be more active with me. She lost about 50lbs in less than a year. She is SO MUCH happier with the way she looks and feels. I have friends that have theiroid (however you spell it) problems and can't lose weight, I workout with them at the gym. They love me because I push them. If a person is ready and willing to help themselves, I'm ready and willing to help them. If they want to drown themselves in food and continue to get fatter and fatter... no sympathy or compassion coming from me.

Do your friends know you think they're "gross"?

And how do you know the fat customers at Hooters weren't eating back burned calories? It's one thing to disagree with food choices. It's another to be "creeped out" by overweight people eating in close proximity to you.

I can tell you that most people I know don't care and the men I have known like me more as a fat chic. My bf loves me bigger even though we met when I was thinner and more muscular.

The only fat people I don't know but care about are morbidly obese children.

I saw a kid who couldn't have been more than 11, who must have weighed 300 lbs on a scooter at Walmart once. Another time, I saw a not so little girl who looked to be about 7, and probably weighed close to 200.

I care about kids because they're really not responsible for what they get fed. I don't really understand how someone could let that happen to their child.

Unless they're some medical condition preventing them from losing weight. But these kids are always accompanied by morbidly obese adults.