For the perpetually single

Wow...

I'm 26 and have been single my whole life, save for a period of maybe about 5 months at ages 19 and 22, respectively, but I don't consider those "relationships," nor were they even boyfriends.
I always end up getting dumped/abandoned, anyway.
Just happened this last week after dating someone I was really really tickled over, for about a week.
Every guy will eventually just stop texting, calling, and will always have a convenient excuse as to "why" he found me so repulsive that he had to sever all contact with me without giving any reason.
The part that angers me the most is that they can't give me the truth. So I can't work on bettering myself, improving myself.
Because of this, my insecurity causes me to conclude it's because I'm still too "fat," or more probable, too tall/'big."

I'm at the point where my biological clock is ticking and I realise this is something that if I don't overcome it will break me. I absolutely need to fall in love and eventually have a child.
I told myself a while back if things don't start happening for me by 30, I don't plan on remaining on this earth any longer. I've worked too hard and given up too much.
I've always felt like I wasn't really of this earth, anyway.

First off,I looked at your pictures and see a very attractive young lady,nothing at all wrong with how you look and that is the truth.
I would never say that if I didn`t mean it.

An honest question and one that will take some self reflection.
When you are with a guy on a date or a few dates how do you act around him,am curious based on your last paragraph if when thinking about it you maybe move a bit too fast into the serious relationship mindset rather then just getting to know each other and have some fun.
I am certainly not blaming you but you are part of the equation so as all of us must at times we need to examine how we come across to people.

Lastly,you are 26 years old,your biological clock has just barely got wound up there is no need to rush it nor think that it is now or never.
Trust me,you have a lifetime ahead of you,please take a deep breath and understand that.:flowerforyou:

I like this thread

I have been single for 4.5 years, in that time had about 4 dates in total and had a stalker lol. A year before that the person who I considered the love of my life died in an accident, and frankly I haven't found anyone who I have felt similar feelings towards since.

Sometimes it would be nice to have someone - especially right now as the heating is broken in my flat and it would be good to have a human sized hot water bottle heh. But not being with someone has meant that I can follow my own dreams. In the last month I got accepted on to an internship in Mexico doing my dream job (marine conservation and diving) and if I had been with someone then I wouldn't have had the chance to do that or atleast it would have been much harder.

I love my independent life having been out with some doozies I'm happy to wait if someone does turn up great - otherwise BRING ON THE SUNSHINE!

The only time it gets awkward is when most of my friends are in relationships or at weddings when all the hens are married/with families and there are so what about you is there anyone special in your life? Fortunately I am maid of honour at two weddings this year so I shall allow any young man who wishes to buy me a drink/have a dance to do so :-D

SINGLE PRINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE

Erm....... Pringle?

Help out an senile old buffer here. What's a Pringle? :huh:

It just rhymes with single and mingle.. thats all!

Ahhh thats good, I can't keep up with all the words young people use. I had to be told what "hashtag" was all about.

I I was on eharmony for 2 years. I spent $600 on that site and went on dates with a lot of girls, but they never called me back after I bought them dinner.

Could that be the reason why? I know I am old fashioned and I would NEVER call a guy!!! I know things seem to of changed over the years but it is something that just doesn't sit well with me.

What do others think about this stance also?

I have to agree with you. I would never call a guy either. So maybe if you go out with a girl and like her, call her and see if she wants to go out again? If she says yes, then great, but if no, then at least you tried. But some girls are still old-fashioned about that kind of thing.

I didn't mean that I waited around for the girl to call. She wouldn't return my calls after the first meetup. I have a rule that I reach out twice and then that is it. So after the first tie meeting I would giver her a call. I would leave a message. If I didn't get an answer or hear back, then I would try one more time and then after that just move on. After 2 years of that and getting nowhere, I moved on from eharmony, with $600 less in my wallet.

I I was on eharmony for 2 years. I spent $600 on that site and went on dates with a lot of girls, but they never called me back after I bought them dinner.

Could that be the reason why? I know I am old fashioned and I would NEVER call a guy!!! I know things seem to of changed over the years but it is something that just doesn't sit well with me.

What do others think about this stance also?

I have to agree with you. I would never call a guy either. So maybe if you go out with a girl and like her, call her and see if she wants to go out again? If she says yes, then great, but if no, then at least you tried. But some girls are still old-fashioned about that kind of thing.

I didn't mean that I waited around for the girl to call. She wouldn't return my calls after the first meetup. I have a rule that I reach out twice and then that is it. So after the first tie meeting I would giver her a call. I would leave a message. If I didn't get an answer or hear back, then I would try one more time and then after that just move on. After 2 years of that and getting nowhere, I moved on from eharmony, with $600 less in my wallet.

Well that's fair enough then - sounds like a good rule - no need to chase things that mean nothing. I'm sure you will find someone - I don't think those internet things are any good tho - I have been on them - would never pay for them (another one of my old fashioned things lol) - but met nothing but horrible creatures on there - the last being someone that was even swearing at me via email - what a lunatic - so I swore then never to bother with any of those things again. :yawn:

I'd rather be single than be in a bad, or even mediocre, relationship.

^^^^ This EXACTLY.

What is it with guys sending unsolicited and unwelcome pics of their junk?
Not the first time I have heard of that...good Lord.

Wait until business contacts text pictures of their junk to your business cell phone! Happened to a coworker, sent by someone we see on a weekly basis!

I think it's my own choosing to be anymore. It's just easier to be single personally. No one to answer to and as long as you get what you "need" when you can - it's a win win!

I think people who can't be alone are the defective ones.

If you're "perpetually" single, it's because you choose to be so.

If you're "perpetually" single, it's because you choose to be so.

Hey Mr. Bold_Change, that is just not true!! Some of us live in the middle of no where and are not willing to settle for what little options there are available!

If you're "perpetually" single, it's because you choose to be so.

Yup. Because I refuse to settle with the first person who takes an interest in me. :P

I was single for almost 3 years before I met my current partner. I don't think I am defective, but I took some time to really figure out who I was and what I wanted. My last serious relationship was 4 years and it messed me up a bit. He used to tell me that I wouldn't be as attactive to him if I lost weight, led me to believe he would change his mind about having kids. On the whole he was just too controlling and I came to realize I was with him out of fear I wouldn't find anyone. Fast forward to last March and I met the most wonderful person. We just fit in so many ways.

I had a friend that was constantly worrying about not having found love and wondering what was wrong with her. She would break down in tears at least once a month about why she hasn't been able to find it. While I would occasionally wonder that about myself, it wasn't an all consuming thought. I chose to live my life and not focus on that piece... and eventually it came. She in the mean time has cut off our friendship because I have found someone and she hasn't. Apparenlty being in a relationship means I no longer remember what it is like to be single. :ohwell:

I could have written the original post easily. I'm that nerdy woman that enjoys watching anime with my 14yr son, and refuses to justify it to anyone that thinks I'm childish for it! LOL Divorced in 2003 after 15 yrs married(I proved I can go the distance). I had two LT relationships during the last decade lasting 2 yrs each. Dating off & on when my kids were gone in the summer, but never finding what I wanted.

I don't think we are defective, but I do think the longer a person remains happily single - the harder it is to mesh into someone else's life. I think it's a bonus if you ask me! I have friend's bounce from one man to the next, and they are not really "happy" with their choices. They just can't wrap their head around being "alone".

After dating a few that liked everything about me (except my fat), I gave up on dating. That was over 3 yrs ago. A part of me wants to fall inlove again, but I've gotten comfortable in my 'single-ness' and not sure I want to make changes that will come with meeting someone else. The older I get(48 now) and the longer this goes, the less I want to sacrifice my freedoms.

Freedom doesn't mean sleeping around, but for me it means "doing as I please without having to meet someone's expectations". If I want to sleep in on Saturday, I can. If I want to stay up half the night reading, no one is griping about it. If I want to spend MY money or squeeze MY pennies, it's my choice. If I gain weight or lose it, no one is there criticizing me over it.

Some people just need another warm body and their satisfied. I want to be with someone that sees unique value in being with ME. I've had a few men over the years try to rush me into a relationship (after a few dates) for all the wrong reasons. I don't "need" someone else, and won't latch on to someone unless I'm seeing long-term compatibility & potential. I've dated guys that start tossing out the L-word after 2 wks, and I run so fast you can smell rubber burning, haha....

I don't consider myself defective at this point, but I'm probably overly SELECTIVE! It would take someone else needing their personal space as much as I do, but appreciates monogamy. Someone compatible with my inner-nerd, willing to accept ALL of me, and not an overly critical *kitten*-hat that needs to control me. Until then, I'll continue to fly solo.

Considering I'm turning 23 in four days and have never had an official relationship I hardly feel it's my place to judge. So no, I don't consider anyone who is 'perpetually single' to be defective on that reason alone.
I wait to understand the reason why before getting all judgemental. c: