Most hurtful comments
Replies
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OMG; I just remembered what a cruel a*hole my father was. My mother was obese, and he would sit and play a song on a record over and over again "I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for me." He'd have my mother sobbing "please stop" and say to her "what's wrong with you? I like this song."
That's so awful!0 -
You sound like a kind person. You know what? Your heart is AWESOME and if they want to be UGLY inside, they are the ones that live with that misery, not you. Let your light shine. Be YOU and keep being nice to animals and to others. They're like that because it makes them feel good about themselves. Don't let that get you down. Look at you. Are you a pig? Noooo. You're a beautiful human being with a good heart. Don't let the haters get you down, because they win. Don't let them win, let it motivate you to do bigger, better and greater things.0
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Over the years, I've had my fair share of people oinking, making fat comments, etc. My father can't seem to have a conversation with me without mentioning my weight (and he's 50 pounds overweight himself). When I was learning to run, there were several times that kids along the boardwalk would make nasty comments about me being too fat to run or that I'd never get skinny if I didn't run faster.
The most recent incident, however, was someone in line behind me at the grocery store who felt it necessary to comment on the food in my cart. I was shopping for a party, so had things in there like chips and regular soda. The oh so helpful woman behind me felt it necessary to tell me that if I'd stop eating all that junk and try some vegetables, I wouldn't be so fat. I turned around and said - "Thank you for your help. At least I can change my weight, you'll always be an a$$h0le." I though the cashier was going to piss herself she was laughing so hard.0 -
If people make comments about me, they must make them quietly and behind my back. As they should.
I wouldn't waste my time responding to a ssholes. They are dealing with their own self image problems by focusing on others. Let it go.0 -
I can't understand why people get a kick out of it. So self gratifying. I used to get a lot of anonymous abuse on various websites calling me fat and it was horrible.0
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Tell them, "I can lose weight, but your ugliness goes all the way to the bone!"
It's just UGLY when people treat others like that for no reason.. Do they think that it's our goal to be overweight? If it were THAT easy (like they must think) then NO ONE would be overweight!0 -
I really haven't been "insulted" per se. But awhile back, it bothered me when my husband made comments about my clothing saying they were my daughters because to him they were too "tight" on me. I would try my best to keep up my appearance, but he always made comments about my clothes. Stuff like that really bothered me and severely hurt my self esteem. Started starving myself, feeling depressed, not wanting to go anywhere. I don't think he realized the impact his comments were making on me when he was making the comments. But he started getting concerned and tried to tempt me to eat and getting mad when I wouldn't. I finally told him he can' t have it both ways.. What he thought was "harmless" really affected me bad. He started watching me all the time to see what I was eating or not eating. Finally I broke down and started eating again but I was scared he would say something. But he was actually happy about it. Now he fully supports my healthy changes and weight loss attempts w/o negative comments.0
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in grade school i was told i was told too fat to have friends. but what I don't understand is I was NEVER huge. just a few extra pounds.
oh and get this.. most of those girls are now around 250 with 10 kids and no man. LOL0 -
@ LisaLamb1 ~ That really is horrible and too bad there are people out there that feel good about doing that - I'm sorry that happened to you. Be proud of who you are, our bodies are just a temporary vehicle - do the best you can to treat that vehicle with kindness and do the best you can to surround yourself with a bubble so that when people make remarks at you that aren't uplifting, inspiring or motivating, those remarks can just bounce back to them without touching you. Only let the bubble be transparent when it serves you! You are important and you are a kind, generous, caring soul ~ Keep smiling Lisa and keep being Lisa......she's beautiful
:flowerforyou:
And as far as throwing back defensive insults, that's kinda pointless because that would be giving them exactly what they want ~ a reaction. It's not worth your time or energy and that kind of behavior only brings you to their level which it's obvious that you are far beyond their level.0 -
I have to get this off my chest. I had a man "Oink" at me. He was a middle aged, well dressed man, who passed by me as I came out of the cupcake shop as I was picking up cupcakes for a birthday celebration in my office. He made 2 "oink" sounds as he passed by me and went on his merry way - probably feeling pretty good about himself that he was able to point out that I was fat. Thank you stranger, for making me feel bad about myself. Also, on another occasion, I was in Mexico with my family. Anyone who knows me knows that I can't pass by a stray animal without helping. So I bring ziplock bags with me and put some food from the buffets in it and after dinner I go to feed the local strays. I filled up a bag at dinner and took it to feed this tiny little beautiful white cat that was living under the sidewalk in a little hole. Later that night, a guy at the bar says to me "Did you get enough to eat at dinner?" I was confused for a moment then realized him and his wife were next to us and he probably saw me stuffing meat into my purse. "Yes, thank you, why do you ask" he kindly let me know that the buffets were open til midnight and if the 3 plates i had (soup, dinner and dessert, thanks for counting!) weren't enough, then I had a problem. He also walked away, quite proud of himself. I have never told anyone this, and I hate the fact that I am even dignifying their ignorance, but it hurt. Anyone else want to vent and let go of comments that have hurt them?
aww.. well I'm glad you helped that kitty!0 -
I used to get asked all the time if I was pregnant. I was in the elevator once with one of the VP's of my company, and she asked me point blank if it was a boy or a girl. I think I said, "It's a tummy". She found me later and profusely apologized (I guess before I could complain to HR). People are just thoughtless.0
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Where to begin? When I was a kid in school, they'd call me every name in the book. They'd throw food at me in the cafeteria. They'd make "boom, boom, boom" sounds as i walked. They'd press themselves up against the walls as if my fat was crushing them and there was no room for them to walk in the halls. They moo at me. They would hit me. They would pinch the rolls of fat on me. They would tell me that I was worthless and that i should just go kill myself. That was my life every day from pre school till i graduated high school. After high school, I got married young to a man that treated me just as badly. When i finally decided to loose the weight and get rid of him and i had hit that last straw and demanded he leave the house he said to me "you'll always be ugly no matter how much weight you lose and if you were still fat you wouldn't be pulling this ****. you think you're hot **** now but you're not"
the damage can't be undone. i still have issues eating in public. i still feel like i'll never be good enough. i have lost so much but i still see 370lbs in the mirror. every day.0 -
cold hard truth is if you let a stranger make you feel like crap, the only one who has failed here is you. They are a stranger, they mean nothing to you, you will probably never see them again. Develop self esteem and no other opinions will ever matter again. People need to spend less time trying to change the world and more time trying to change themselves
This.
But I would put it a little differently.
No one can "make" you feel something. You take their comments and choose to feel a certain way.
Now, having said that, I'm certainly not saying it's easy to choose how you feel, but you can.
I was raised in a very critical environment. My father, step-mother and grandmother were very critical. My Mom was not in the picture. Every thing I did was insulted and criticized. So I grew up essentially feeling like I had no worth whatsoever. In some ways you could say I was an abused child, just that it was verbal and not physical. As in many cases like this, as an adult I seemed to gravitate towards people who treated me the same way. So a series of bad relationships with very critical people and by my mid 30's I was unemployed, and unemployable, with many anxiety disorders, major depressive disorders, etc, and applying for disability.
It's been 11 years since I quit working due to the anxiety and depression. And 11 years of learning that I choose how I feel about myself. I found a lot of that self worth in God, but I won't go into a sermon here. The point is that I found it and you can too.
Can someone still say something and I will feel hurt? Sure, it's a built in reaction with me now and to some degree always will be. But upon reflection I realize my own worth is independent of anyone's opinion and for the most part any insensitive comments from strangers, or even friends and family can just roll off. No need to confront them, just smile to myself and know that they are not relevant to my life.0 -
hmm.. at least it was a stranger- the one time I did get in the best shape of my life, my wife never complimented me. One night I asked her if she was happy about a 50lb fat loss and getting back in shape. She said " Sure, even if you look funny with no *kitten*" . I dont understand the resentment, and shes a pretty and fit woman so I dont get it. I think people are just mean sometimes.
MY ex (before we got divorced) said, "Now that you are losing weight, guys are going to start finding you attractive and start flirting with you. Before you know it, you'll be having an affair!"..
I was FLOORED!! Sometimes your Significant Other PREFERS you to be fat because THEY are insecure about THEMSELVES!0 -
Don't let the bad apples spoil the whole bunch. I do know how you feel though, had people talking about me that way most of my life. Screw them. I feel very good about myself and my self esteem is all that matters to me now. Be all that you can be and you will be awesome! Never forget you are a good person.0
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Fortunately, nobody has ever to my recollection been so hurtful to me in person.
The only thing that has bugged me is when people call(ed) me "big guy". What I didn't like was that it sounded to me like they said it as if I enjoyed such an appellation.0 -
Wow, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. When I was a young adult I heard two guys talking and saying, "She's cute, but she's too big" and I just thought to myself, "no you're just too small to handle all this...little man". But they sounded kind of nonchalant or I didn't feel overly-intimidated when they said it, so I didn't think about it much (until just now). I'm sure people have made comments about my weight, but thank the Lord, he surrounded me with loving family, friends, and collegues who see beyond my weight to the WONDERFUL ME that God has made me to be.
Sooner or later those individuals will understand the saying "what goes around, comes around" really means. Take care.0 -
its never happened to me that i can remember as an adult, but i have been overweight all my life, the classic yoyo dieter, and yes as a kid in school i was made fun of daily. we know where all the bullying examples come from, always wonder if they will ever grow up...0
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I am so sorry this happened to you, Some people like to be mean and it makes them feel good about themselves to tear others down. I have experienced this myself- I used to be oinked at, someone yelled earthquake as I walked by, and I've even had at one time had a guy say, "Hey, hey, hey it's Fat Albert," standing in line at the movies. Please don't let the cruelness of other people drag you down. Remember you are better than them. I know it makes you feel like less of a human being, but there are good people out there too. I'm a big believer in karma and it helped me to think and believe that sooner or later their nastiness would come back to them.0
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I ordered a double on a long flight and the flight attendant asked, pretty loud, if I was pregnant before she would serve me. The strangers around me cracked up. It sucked big time.0
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I started putting on the curves at puberty, I must have about 13, laying facing the sofa and kinda napping kinda listening to the news, after school. My grandmothers BF (drunk), Looked at my behind and said "I bet her butt is at least 7 axe handles wide!! Then he actually broke out the axe, measured my a@@ and told everyone in hearing distance, "nope only 6 axe handles wide". I also started getting my adult curves before the other girls, It seemed like I would go to bed and wake up another full cup size. With in the summer I went from AA to DD. Oh the kids loved to make fun of me STUFFING my bra!!! All of the comments and crap that went on during this time, gave me the great idea to stop eatting. I would eat a taco bell toastada once every three days (that went on the entire summer of 78. Then I decided it wasnt working, I weighed 95lbs at 5'3", wore a size one, dress and jeans. I am now 48 wear a size 20 and have as many issues eatting enough as most on MFP have issues in eatting too many calories.
When i get hungry for chocolate or sweets, I eat cooked butternut sqaush, with slenda, a bit of butter and pumpkin spice. I cup of that is about 62 calories. I find a way to eat as low calorie food as I can. I gained all my weight by NOT eatting.... When people used to say mean stuff to me, i just cut back on the calories, and gained even more.
I dont listen to what people say any more, because they have no clue. Im fat, but can loose weight, they are rude and there just doesnt seem to be a cure for it.0 -
I had my daughter 7 years ago. When she was two months I was at the grocery store and the lady behind me asked me how she was. So we talked for a minute. Then I turned to pay for my groceries and she says 'Oh! and you're having another one! Do you know what it is yet?' I was so caught off guard by this that I just looked dumbfounded at the cashier and she had the same look on her face and said 'no'. I have still not been able to lose the weight from my daughter and have been asked multiple times a year when I am due, how far along I am or if I know what I am having. It sucks because it usually conveniently comes at a time when I really feel like a failure and will never succeed at losing the baby weight. I think the worst time was when a co-worker (who I have worked with for 3 years and I wasn't any bigger than when I started working with her) stopped me in the hall and said 'no offense, but are you pregnant?' I was like 'no' and she said 'oh, I am sorry, I was just wondering because everybody is talking about it.' I was mortified. I assume she just said that to try and make it seem like she had a justified reason for asking me but it still sucked because I still worry that people are talking about how I look pregnant. I kept to myself for several weeks after that because I didn't want to face anyone who might have been talking about whether I was pregnant or not.0
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There are a LOT of ignorant people out there. I am sorry for anyone who has bullied for their figure. Sadly, I have not been immune to this. I remember a girl in grade school sticking a needle on my *kitten* in class one day thinking my butt might deflate. Humiliating to say the least...
Looking back, she was insecure in many ways, and the way she dealt with it was by bullying others. Sad...
And we wonder why so many have image issues? Geez0 -
I don't know how people could be so rude and hurtful. Obviously such a horrible thing to hear and it's awful how much the hurtful comments stick.
I think it is sad hat there is a thread here dedicated to people raking over such hurtful comments again. They are best left forgotten and people realising that anyone who says such things are bad people that don't deserve your time.0 -
It's sad and pathetic that people feel they have the right to shame and belittle others. Do people not stop to think at all anymore? It's not okay to discriminate in any situation but no one would get away with making racist or sexist comments these days. Body size however is fair game evidently! It's pathetic. How would he feel if it was his wife, his son, his daughter, mother or father that was spoken to in this manner? Honestly! I feel sorry for him. Body sizes can go up or down but ignorant *kitten* will never change.
I think the person who suggested she throw a cupcake at his head had a really good idea.0 -
That is absolutely disgusting behavior! I can't believe how rude people are! It upsets me hearing stories like this! Don't let people get u down xx0
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Last year this time I had finally had enough of the "are you pregnant" "when are you due" comments I got them pretty regular from people.
When I was growing up I was stick thin...I had people call me anorexic. My dad would call me flat chested all the time and chicken legs.0 -
It's always easier for people to focus on others rather than themselves. Those comments were unnecessary and rude. I'm sorry you had to endure them.
I've been called "chunky", having too much "baby fat", and "big boned" all my life. All nice ways of saying FAT. I feel for you. :grumble:0 -
One time at work this gentlemen (I use the word loosely) came through our line. My coworker was ringing him through, I was packing and doing my usual customer service thing. Suddenly he leans into my coworker, who hadn't said a word, and says: "If only you were as loud as your coworker is ugly."
He then went on to make snarky remarks about how annoying I was. ):
I'd never seen the guy before in my life. It hurt so much and I don't know why. I didn't know him! Never saw him again! But I will never forget him.0 -
One time at work this gentlemen (I use the word loosely) came through our line. My coworker was ringing him through, I was packing and doing my usual customer service thing. Suddenly he leans into my coworker, who hadn't said a word, and says: "If only you were as loud as your coworker is ugly."
He then went on to make snarky remarks about how annoying I was. ):
I'd never seen the guy before in my life. It hurt so much and I don't know why. I didn't know him! Never saw him again! But I will never forget him.
Just so you know penrbrown, you're not ugly. I hope you let that roll off your back. He's obviously the ugly one.0
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