Guys that are a 3 trying to be with girls that are an 8...

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jr1985
jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
in Chit-Chat
Frustrated a little this morning about the dating world, so feel like venting a little.

All my fellow single ladies that would consider yourself average looking but overweight... have you noticed that a lot of single guys won't even consider dating a girl 'in their league' but will only hold out for a girl that is an 8,9, or 10.

Don't get me wrong... If you look like Steve Buscemi, are 30+ years old, only work at a grocery store part time and CAN get a girl that looks like Katherine Heigl... then more power to you!

But I feel like myself, and a lot of other single girls I know, all know that we aren't 10s and aren't under any false pre-tenses that we could get a guy that looks like Channing Tatum... we tend to be pretty realistic about the guys that we will 'go after' but continue to get NO RESPONSE from a lot of these guys either. But, yes I'm overweight... I keep full-length, current pics up on dating websites so that people 'know what they're getting'. (Profile pic was taken earlier this month... I know I'm not a Katherine Heigl... but didn't think I was 'make small children weep' ugly either?) I have been fully supporting myself financially since I graduated college at 22... I live on my own, I have been working a full time job that makes enough to pay all of my own bills, have a little 'fun money' and put some in savings since I graduated college. I know how to cook and clean for myself, am able to drive my own car etc, and I feel like I'm pretty reasonable about looks in general, as well as body types of guys that are 'in my league' Yet it seem like even these guys are all holding out for only the beautiful girls.

Yeah I know I'm just not their cup of tea for some people, regardless of looks... I get that... I'm just frustrated with the prevelance of guys that are a 3 expecting to only date girls who are an 8,9, or 10.

Do you girls know what I'm talking about or is this just me?

Just frustrated so wanted to get that off my chest... Feel free to add me if you feel like you are in the same boat so at least we can keep each other company :)
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Replies

  • Windy_
    Windy_ Posts: 1,012 Member
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    Some guys are dilholes.
  • djsupreme6
    djsupreme6 Posts: 1,210 Member
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    i'm trying to understand this lol...I really am...but...as far as a guy being a 3 or whatever goes..what if he thinks he's a 10 lol...who decides what this number is...

    Also who decides what she is...these ratings only seem to be based on looks and to me anyway...thats only a portion of the whole thing

    I guess its based on attraction really isn't it
  • charlenelockhart3
    charlenelockhart3 Posts: 76
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    Id like to know this but from a guys perspective. My best friend in the world is average looking, A drummer, 27 years old and most importantly the nicest man bar my hubby i know. If i were single id marry him. He doesnt seem to be able to get any girls and even when he does they cheat on him.

    He recently dated a girl for over a year who to be honest was rough as but she still cheated on him, whats that all about? x
  • myers0machine
    myers0machine Posts: 685
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    I would say one whom rates another human in my view are not worthwhile knowing I believe if you have learned to love yourself in your skin in a non vain way of course then you will learn you don't need the approval of a man or women or there rates in life to be happy and by doing so you will stop noticing the wasters of this life and will start to see others it's normal tho for ones self to aim higher and yes usually men are more vocal with there choice of women but women may not say it at the same level but still aim higher we live in a vain world there is more to someone then a number there is more to someone then just looks I say stop worrying about others and start to learn to love yourself then and only then will you be able to be loved by another
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    I have a friend I grew up with, he's grossly overweight, like he's getting close to needing a scooter for his knees type of overweight.

    his face is looking more and more like the dwarves in LOTR....he games religiously, can't hold down a job, is usually on welfare...

    and refuses...REFUSES to date anyone that isn't a 8-10

    his requirements are that they be an 8-10, have a high paying career (to match his "potential"), and boobs bigger than a D cup...

    they must look younger than him and keep in shape...

    he's 45 years old, and doesn't understand why he's single...

    so yeah....

    then there's my ex, who feels if he can't get Barbie then he deserves some little Lolita asian girl.... (but he's f!cked in the head, so he doesn't count)
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    How do you know the girls they are going for are out of their league? Because YOU rated them a 3 and YOU rated the girl an 8?

    Stop rating people by their looks would be your first step.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    So you're saying you want a guy that you find ugly that is trying to "date out of his league"....


    Hmm. Interesting.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    Maybe its because no guy want to be called a "3" by you...

    Thank you for rating us men. I like how its ok for men to be rated but yet the same women scream when men do it to them.

    I hope you get a "10" to date you soon. Go get you a Channing Tatum girl. I hear he's a 10...
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    Do you girls know what I'm talking about or is this just me?

    I hope the girls do because I have no clue.

    Ranking human beings like that by number is degrading in my opinion. There are no leagues. There is no objective standard of beauty where some people are 3s or 6s or 10s or whatever. That is just advertisers trying to brainwash you.

    There are only adults, attraction and differing levels of maturity.
  • charlenelockhart3
    charlenelockhart3 Posts: 76
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    I agree with the looks thing but in the case of my friend, he is a lovely person the whole package and the girls he's gone for are horrid people that cheat on him and will not allow him to have me as a friend of course he tells them where to go but i cant get my head around it x
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    I'm pretty certain it depends on the person.... I know I'm a chick, but I don't always go based on looks alone. Personality is a bigger factor for me, personally. I don't worry about those who don't want me, because there are plenty others out there.
  • savlyon
    savlyon Posts: 474 Member
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    Id like to know this but from a guys perspective. My best friend in the world is average looking, A drummer, 27 years old and most importantly the nicest man bar my hubby i know. If i were single id marry him. He doesnt seem to be able to get any girls and even when he does they cheat on him.

    He recently dated a girl for over a year who to be honest was rough as but she still cheated on him, whats that all about? x

    hook me up!! ;)
  • laughingdani
    laughingdani Posts: 2,275 Member
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    People have different perceptions of what makes someone a 3 vs a 10.

    Sometimes a person with great looks can be a 3 in the personality department. Know what I mean?

    I don't really believe in being in someone's "league". But a lot of people do.
    Unfortunately, a lot of people think they "deserve" a certain type.....in a shallow way. They'll hold out for "arm candy" and will miss out on some really great people.

    Of course being with someone that's physically in great shape is a bonus, but not a must IMO.
    Personality and humor over ride physical appearance by a big margin.

    Be patient. You'll find someone. : ) Good luck to you.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    I'm generally not interested in grown women who view relationships the same way as a middle school lunch table of tweens would.
  • byeachmoment
    byeachmoment Posts: 67
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    Katherine Heigl isn't all that ... now get me some Jennifer Lopez and I see where you're coming from.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    btw, I AM that "3" guy who have dated girl who to me were perfect 10. You know my secret? I don't rate them like they're my USDA approved meat...
  • pullipgirl
    pullipgirl Posts: 767 Member
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    I love Steve Buscemi
  • TexanThom
    TexanThom Posts: 778
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    And y'all call us shallow!!!!
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    How do you know the girls they are going for are out of their league? Because YOU rated them a 3 and YOU rated the girl an 8?

    Stop rating people by their looks would be your first step.

    QFT.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Options
    Frustrated a little this morning about the dating world, so feel like venting a little.

    All my fellow single ladies that would consider yourself average looking but overweight... have you noticed that a lot of single guys won't even consider dating a girl 'in their league' but will only hold out for a girl that is an 8,9, or 10.

    Don't get me wrong... If you look like Steve Buscemi, are 30+ years old, only work at a grocery store part time and CAN get a girl that looks like Katherine Heigl... then more power to you!

    But I feel like myself, and a lot of other single girls I know, all know that we aren't 10s and aren't under any false pre-tenses that we could get a guy that looks like Channing Tatum... we tend to be pretty realistic about the guys that we will 'go after' but continue to get NO RESPONSE from a lot of these guys either. But, yes I'm overweight... I keep full-length, current pics up on dating websites so that people 'know what they're getting'. (Profile pic was taken earlier this month... I know I'm not a Katherine Heigl... but didn't think I was 'make small children weep' ugly either?) I have been fully supporting myself financially since I graduated college at 22... I live on my own, I have been working a full time job that makes enough to pay all of my own bills, have a little 'fun money' and put some in savings since I graduated college. I know how to cook and clean for myself, am able to drive my own car etc, and I feel like I'm pretty reasonable about looks in general, as well as body types of guys that are 'in my league' Yet it seem like even these guys are all holding out for only the beautiful girls.

    Yeah I know I'm just not their cup of tea for some people, regardless of looks... I get that... I'm just frustrated with the prevelance of guys that are a 3 expecting to only date girls who are an 8,9, or 10.

    Do you girls know what I'm talking about or is this just me?

    Just frustrated so wanted to get that off my chest... Feel free to add me if you feel like you are in the same boat so at least we can keep each other company :)

    just to clarify, you're annoyed that ugly men wont date you as they are holding out for someone prettier?

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