Guys that are a 3 trying to be with girls that are an 8...

Are these ratings based on looks only? If so, that's your problem. We all get old and 'ugly' at some point in our lives. If there is no 'personality' under that skin, ya'll are doomed.
How can you rate a guy a 3 when you don't know him? To me, that's rating him because he wont date you and like another guy said, maybe that guy thinks he's a ten, kind of like you don't think you are a 3.
Change your attitude, act like you're happy if you're not and be someone you'd like to be around. You'll find someone. Good luck!

Can a person really control what they are attracted to? Personally, even though I am overweight, I am absolutely not attracted to heavier men. I've tried to date a few cause they were nice guys but the attraction is just not there. Does that mean I try to date out of my league? No, I don't think so. I think I deserve to be with someone I am attracted to and can have an active sex life with.

I would stay off dating sites. They are set up to be very visual. The first thing you see is the photo of the other person, so you make a judgement immediately based on looks.

Looks are temporary. We all end up gray and wrinkled eventually. Personalities and character last forever. And those are hard to find on dating sites.

And also, we all have a tendency to think we are a higher number than we really are. Years ago I set up two friends that had so many things in common and I thought they would be perfect for each other. After the meeting, they both were mad at me for introducing them to someone who was so far beneath them! Had to laugh.

First, I think your problem is that you are "rating" these people. Second, it sounds like you have very low self esteem, and trust me, that comes across whether you try to mask it or not. Third, it could be the age. It seems alot of men are settling down much later in life (think late 30s). Or, it could be where you are seeing/meeting them. Hate to tell ya, but you are not going to find your soulmate in a bar or club.

Be comfortable with who you are and the rest will follow. The guys you say are ugly and trying to date out of their league as you think, could be they don't think they are beneath the barbie girls. Maybe they think they are human and have no number associated with them.

PS: I think Steve Buscemi is adorable. There is something about a man with a sense of humor :happy:

I should add to the Steve Buscemi discussion that my sister is drop dead gorgeous and has the weirdest celebrity crush ever -



I asked her if she was serious when I found out and she said, "He's just so cute!" Lol...

HAHAH this is great!!

I also have a mini crush on Zack Galifianakis.. short chubby guy with a beard, from the Hangover.

I do not do numbers I am confident in myself and I aim high but for me the biggest factor has to be character
if he is so handsome but has no character the throw him back .
Thankfully I have a real hunk I love him to bits and he has a nice gentle character btw all the girls stare at him when we are out and about. Makes me smile

Yeah leave us 3s alone jeez!

The key to success in all things is often what others may see as a delusional level of self-confidence.
For years I wondered "How the hell did that guy get her?" or "How did he get the balls to ask her out?"

The answer was in the question, he had the balls I didn't have.

I understand some women rate those qualities quite high.

In all seriousness, OP, though I know you're sort of a "Drop divisive topic and skeedaddle" person:

People that place external blame on things ("Ugh, I just have bad luck!"; "Ugh, I'm not ugly and self-supporting! It's those guys!") generally fall into the "attribution bias" pitfall. If a "10" in your books messaged you on the site, you'd probably feel pretty good about yourself, right? But when a "3" doesn't happen to message you, it's instantly because he's looking for a "10" himself? You're sort of assigning this principle on other people, and granted, as others have said, some guys do have very lofty expectations for their future mate... but they're falling into this self-serving bias, too.

And it looks ugly on them, right?

People can pick up on things, even over the internet. You are exuding this sort of mentality on MFP; I can only imagine what you're exuding on the dating sites you're on.

Stop placing blame on the guys; start putting confidence in yourself and *not caring* what another guy might rate or think about, if he's even thinking that. I imagine you'll have a much easier time.

I think you can get any guy if you're willing to try hard enough.
I'm pretty sure looks-wise my boyfriend is totally out of my league. He's athletic and cute, whereas I'm short and chubby.

Maybe take a lesson from these guys and show some confidence and aim high as well?

Maybe you should try something different than a dating site where giving someone a number is what people do. Put yourself out there. Do something civic-minded, join a singles activity group (make friends first....)

When I was single, I dated men who would rate higher than me on a bracket. And lower. Looks didn't have any impact on who were jerks and who were decent guys. I'm sure the same rules apply to women.

As for people who date each other based on a ranking scale, they get what they ask for. Shallow's shallow at all brackets.

In this world of TV/ other media, it seems that people are so quick to judge other people and discount them. Generations ago, when people read books, lived in small communities, you took time to get to know people to find a partner. People were not obsessed with looks, but more interested in character. My son is dealing with this on the male side of it. He is highly intelligent, kind, caring, attractive although a bit overweight. Yet as soon as women hear that he is unable to work due to being born with club feet, being hard of hearing, and having problems with depression, they immediately dump him. For many women, it is all about the paycheck, even though they are now, thankfully, able to earn almost as much (that damn glass ceiling) as a man. This is wrong too. We should be looking for others that share the same values, hopes and dreams, not how big their paycheck is or how hot they are. There was a great old old rock and roll song about marrying an ugly woman since she would be good to you. It was making fun of this focus on looks.

I have to kind of agree. My guy.. ( imo) is freakin HOT! I adore the crap outta him! He met me when i was 240 lbs.. ( a man who is used to thin girls). He loves me though, and never judged me... he just loved ME.. and tha'ts simply one of the best feelings ever... to be cared for, judgement free.

I have never thought about myself in terms of a number.

ever.

9.99/10

I'm a 9.87. Do I have a chance??

False, everyone on the Internet is a 10.

Lmao!!!!:laugh: