Can letting yourself go ruin a relationship?

When in a relationship that is based on the complete persons involved, no. But if one allows to "let themselves go" beyond the health factor, absolutely.

As I always say...take care of yourself, and everything else falls into place.

If it does, then it was not a healthy relationship. True love has nothing to do with the size of your girth. Yes, some sexual position are difficult, or impossible, if you are obese, but some positions can work no matter your size.

This is so right on, in my opinion.

I want to be the sexiest thing to my husband and in order to do that I have to keep it tight...
not sayin he wouldn't love me if I was obese but he would def have a wandering eye and thats where it all starts...
Gotta keep his eyes focused on this right here...lol

Yes. It happened to a girl I had a previous relationship with in high school/college. She gained 100+ pounds and went crazy....talk about a deadly combo. Feel free to call me shallow. I have to be physically attracted to someone and that just wasn't happening.

#sorryimnotsorry

Can't talk to the weight thing, but also can't blame a guy for not being attracted to crazy. I totally get that.

My weight has yo-yo'ed in a 30 lb range over the 10 years I've been with my husband and he's never treated me any differently. Any bumps in the road as far as intimacy goes have been because I've felt too fat to be looked at or even touched. My husband has gained some weight over the years but I honestly don't see him as any less attractive, actually I find him more attractive.. he's getting better with age

Yes. My husband has always loved me, but I can tell our intimacy has improved as my body has transformed.

Sorry to say, but men do care what a woman looks like... Its the first thing they see!

and women care what a man looks like... generally speaking.

Everyone should want to look good for their partner. Men and women.

Sorry to say, but men do care what a woman looks like... Its the first thing they see!

and women care what a man looks like... generally speaking.

But far less so. I can determine whether or not a girl is going to get me turned on within 15 seconds of seeing her. For a female, that may be true for very attractive men, but far less attractive men can also turn her on with their behavior given enough time(confidence, charm, intelligence, humor,etc). No amount of intelligence or personality is going to give me a boner for a gal I don't find physically attractive. It is what it is.

I'm sure you've heard the phrase: "Give me 10 minutes to talk away my ugly face and I'll bed the Queen of France"

I think some people aren't quite reading the question properly. They're equating "letting yourself go" with "losing your looks," and are naturally being defensive about it. For some couples, settling down and gaining the inevitable "few pounds" or "few dozen pounds" is one thing. Losing interest in caring about yourself is another. If your partner (man OR woman) has detached themselves from what makes them happy, what makes you happy and no longer takes care of him or herself, then yes, that can ruin a relationship.

While it might be shallow to lose interest in your partner, it's very difficult to continue to love someone who isn't completely "there," or who has checked out emotionally.

A lot of people said that looks shouldn't matter, and I agree, to an extent. A few people said they didn't get married or fall in love with someone based on their looks, so looks shouldn't be what kills the relationship. But imagine if the person let himself go in other ways. Paying the bills. Taking care of the kids. Looking for work. Bathing. Abusing drugs or alcohol. You didn't marry them for any one of those reasons alone, either, but if she stops taking care of herself (in ANY capacity), it puts a big strain on a relationship. You work on it together as best you can, but sometimes the other person is unreachable, or they become more stubborn about the problem the more it's pointed out.