it's 2013, why are women playing mother to their husbands?
Replies
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Not domesticated dear, its just that no one would ever get fed if they had to wait for me to come home and cook. Last year i averaged 75-80 hours per week working on the river building a bridge. That did not include travel time back and forth to the jobsite.0
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I do NOT understand.
I get it if he works late, and you are home earlier or stay at home. What I DO NOT get is making two separate meals, or even more for kids. Eating healthy should be a great new plan for the whole family.
You are not your husbands mother.
http://youareagrownman.com/2010/07/21/know-how-to-cook/
http://*****ielife.necole*****ie.com/2011/03/stop-coddling-grown-men/
Kids should learn early to enjoy and like healthy food; or it's a vicious cycle. They will have trouble liking them later in life.
Try starting a husband who can't on something like this
http://www.amazon.com/Paula-Deens-My-First-Cookbook/dp/1416950338/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1360038617&sr=8-4&keywords=my+first+cookbook
or
http://www.amazon.com/Man-Can-Plan-Great-Meals/dp/1579546072/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1360038663&sr=1-2&keywords=my+first+cookbook+microwave
I'm sorry.
Yes, it's a great idea to make your husband feel like a child by giving him a cookbook that was, in fact, written for children.
Look, I agree with the premise that CHILDREN should not be coddled when it comes to their diets. Allow a child to be a picky eater, and he will be a picky eater. But it's entirely different with a grown man, and I don't consider it "coddling."
I think it's safe to assume that when you get married, you are already familiar with your husband's eating habits, likes, and dislikes, and ability (or lack thereof) to cook. If you can't deal with the fact that he doesn't like the same foods you like or the fact that he can't cook, then don't marry him! But what right do you have to wake up one day and say "It's 2013, and it's such a magical year that I've decided you're going to start eating exactly what I make for you, and sometimes you're going to do the cooking?" For someone who so heartily insists on not being your husband's mother, it sure sounds like that's how you're behaving.0 -
Bless him - my fella does attempt to cook from time to time BUT he is then in and out of the kitchen that often asking me how to do things, and leaves such a mess (using every pot and pan in the house) that in the long run, it is much easier to just do it myself. He is grateful for everything that I make, or if it is something he doesn't fancy, he is quite capable f making a sandwich or bunging something in the microwave.0
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I don't even pretend I know how to cook. I was raised old-school. My mom cooked and took care of the kids and cleaned. My dad worked 10-12 hours a day. It doesn't mean I don't help my wife. Dishes, sure I'll put them in the dishwasher..you need help with laundry and some cleaning...sure why not. But you best make me some sammiches !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0
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I feel that viewing this youtube is necessary and makes a good point on the matter. Please copy and paste this link into your browser.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjoMQJf5vKI 0 -
My husband works full time, and I work part time having recently been laid off from my full time employment. I do the cooking in the house, but we shop for groceries together and plan the meals together.
I don't think that cooking for your family makes you playing "mother" to your husband. If my husband doesn't like what I make (He hates zucchini lasagna, and I love it, for example), then he has something else that he makes.
He can cook fine, and sometimes we cook together. But I'm certainly not going to only make a meal for myself and have nothing prepared for him after he's worked an 11 hour day, I'm sorry!0 -
My partner is a stay at home parent and does the cooking. I add in extra veggies for myself and my kids.
"Eating healthy should be a great new plan for the whole family. "
I agree, however, when you are dealing with a family that have several different food allergies(some severe), it can be difficult.0 -
My husband hasn't done a damb thing around the house for 2 weeks... because he's been up north working. When he gets home I'm going to throw his @ss on the balcony to cook some steaks (the only cooking he really knows how to do), and for the next few days that he's home we'll probably eat "daddy food", and some birthday cake (my son turns 4
).
So, why do I nurture my husband. Because he worked outside the last 2 weeks in minus 40 weather to make sure the kids and I are taken care of. Not everyone can be an accountant, and be home to be a doting husband. Sometimes, you just have to do what works.
Up North working in -40...Canadian Oilpatch by any chance?0 -
cooking is playing mother? lol my mom did and still does so much more than that but ok. i cook for my family and i normally make two meals or at least two variations. my son and i rarely if at all eat meat. my daughter and fiancee are meat lovers. i don't want my man to cook. he can but it isn't anything anyone would want to ingest. i actually started cooking for him early in our relationship because i felt sorry that he had to eat his food. he didn't mind my meals and i didn't mind cooking them. i even taught him how to cook some simple dishes and bought him a crockpot to make things easier. anyways, outside of that we take care of EACH OTHER in our own way and we love it.0
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I don't play mother to my husband. I glady do all the cooking and cleaning and take care of the kids and even have a small part time job ( stylist/colorist 15-20 hours a week ) in exchange for him working 70-80 hours a week outside of our home doing manual labor and bringing home the $$$$. Because I appreciate what he does, I make sure he doesn't have to do much to lift a finger when he gets home, and a hot meal is on the table for him. And part of the reason I do it that way is because we appreciate one another. He's never made me feel less important than he is. He praises me. He knows what I do is hard too even if I don't get the paycheck to reflect that. And he would if at any time I asked help me.
I think you're dellusional if you think that a relationship is a constant 50/50. Somtimes it's 20/80, sometimes it's 60/40. You do what you have to in order to make your relationship work. Just because what we do wouldn't work for you, doesn't make our relationship the wrong one. I love my husband, we rarely fight, and we are doing fantastic.0 -
It's 2013, why are you worried about what another woman is doing for her husband?0
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It's either I cook the healthy **** or he cooks two packs of ramen with 2 sliced hotdogs in it and 4 slices of processed cheese.
Plus, I love cooking, so I don't mind. Maybe every ones relationship isn't exactly like yours, or the way you think it should be.
Calm down.0 -
:laugh:Get bent with your generalizations and accusations.
anyways, are you really 32?0 -
Just wondering, why do you care so much what others do in their own home?
Is this seriously a thread? hmmmm :ohwell:0 -
I love to cook and while I don't make completely separate meals for each of us, I do sometimes halve things so I can add ingredients to mine that he doesn't like. I don't think that makes me his mother, though.0
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I love cooking and I'm a good cook!! I don't mind doing most the cooking in my household! My whole family eats healthy so that is not an issue! My husband has no problem starting dinner and sometimes finishing it though when I'm running late! I have no complaints!0
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OP have you ever tried to make a tiny human eat something they absolutely hate? Its so much fun its like pulling your fingernails out with rusty pliers.
Now i have not ever been married and I do not have a tiny human of my own (thank some higher power that be)
I was a live in nanny for my brother for 6 years and trust me there was a rule that the tiny human had to try everything that was made, if she didn't like it (and you can tell when they simply don't like or do not want something) I would make her a different meal. I also cooked for my brother as he was in school - him and I have vastly different tastes in food so I would make him a completely different meal that I made myself or his daughter. Sometimes its not about playing mother its about actually making food that someone will eat.
All 3 of my brothers can cook, and they are fantastic at it. The one with the tiny human actually does all the cooking when he isn't working nights.0 -
It's 2013 and the beauty of that is that I get to choose as a woman how I want to live my life. There is nothing wrong with women working just like there is nothing wrong with women staying home and having more traditional roles in the family. We use to be forced to stay home but now we are going to the other extreme whereas we are made the feel like a terrible person if we aren't a "modern woman". My family chose traditional roles, I stay at home with the kids and do the housework. He works, takes out the trash and fixes the cars. He is in Iraq for a year and bet your *kitten* then when he comes home I'm going to make him all the biscuits and gravy or chicken and dumplings his heart desires while I make myself grilled chicken and salads. I might also so it barefoot and pregnant if my heart so desires.0
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I do all the cooking in our house. If we're really lucky my husband might be home for 1 dinner a week. If we waited for him to cook, we'd starve. He can cook, hes just never here to do it. I also do all the housework, most of the repairs, all the errands, and everything that the kids require (including homeschooling our 10 year old), plus anything the dog needs. Again, hes just not here to do it. If he is home for a day, he helps out with the kids. Cooks them breakfast, dresses them, changes diapers etc.
I try to cook 1 meal a night, but sometimes its just not possbile. In our house we have: Between myself and the kids, dairy/gluten/corn/soy/peanut and treenut allergies and intolerances, so I usually end up haivng to tweak what is on the side to fit everyones needs. And since my husband is the only one in the house that can eat gluten, I made, and freeze, pasta dishes for him and on night when we are having something he really doesn't like, I just throw one in the oven.
I do not cook for him when he gets home. His dinner gets cooked, and put in the microwave. When he gets home he can heat it up. He works in the oilpatch, somedays he doesn't get home until 11 or 12, I"m not going to be up cooking at that time. We have friends that used to do that, the husband texts his wife on his way home and she'll get up and cook for him. No matter the time, (he's a truck driver) 3am was normal to them. Then they had kids. And it all stopped, much to the husbands disgust.0 -
^^Exactly this in my house as well....Who are you even directing this toward?
My husband does all the cooking in our house. He loves to cook and I hate it.0 -
It's 2013, why are you worried about what another woman is doing for her husband?
Exactly!0 -
I think people should stop telling others how to live their lives. If you do not like that I treat my husband well & love him stay the Fawk out of my house and marriage. It is none of your business.0
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because thousands of years have instilled a motherly instinct in women and because men no longer forage for themselves, men are no longer hunters and gatherers, they rely on super markets and kitchens, not big game and outdoor fires. that's why men do the barbeque. our society has made it this way.0
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I guess if one wants to bring home the bacon I'll cook it for him, but I feel sorry if he isn't rich enough to send me to culinary school for a year or two. I'm not the greatest cook ever. Maybe I could learn. Maybe. He'd have to be bringing in some good bacon, though, else he can fend for himself.0
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This is why I dislike feminists. If you ladies want to fix the cars, take out the garbage and do all the other "traditional man" roles while your husband does the cooking and cleaning... that's your decision. But you don't have the right to call marriages where the couple enjoy traditional roles a mother/child relationship. There is absolutely nothing child like about my husband.
We have been together since high school (24 years) and have a wonderful marriage. I do the cooking, cleaning, etc. while he does the dirty stuff and heavy lifting. If i even attempt to take out the garbage he's all over it. He owns his own company and i do the bookwork from home. It amounts to about 20 hours a week of paperwork... I spend the rest of my time keeping a nice home for him and am happy to do it because it makes him happy. Just as he is happy to work long hours doing physically demanding labour to make sure he can give me and our daughters everything we could possibly need. He is very proud to say that he takes good care of his family financially (university tuition for our daughters and a very comfortable life style). That makes him feel good, just as it makes me feel good to keep our home nice and hubby fed. He doesn't know how to cook and I don't know how to change a breaker in the electrical panel or fix the furnace. That's why we have each other.
I think relationships where each person cares about the others happiness above their own are the ones that last. It makes no difference how you go about getting there and how the division of labour is done. Selfishness is what kills relationships. Perhaps if women (and men) asked themselves what they could do for their partner each day to make them happy, instead of taking foolish stands on principle, the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.0 -
I do NOT understand.
I get it if he works late, and you are home earlier or stay at home. What I DO NOT get is making two separate meals, or even more for kids. Eating healthy should be a great new plan for the whole family.
You are not your husbands mother.
http://youareagrownman.com/2010/07/21/know-how-to-cook/
http://*****ielife.necole*****ie.com/2011/03/stop-coddling-grown-men/
Kids should learn early to enjoy and like healthy food; or it's a vicious cycle. They will have trouble liking them later in life.
Try starting a husband who can't on something like this
http://www.amazon.com/Paula-Deens-My-First-Cookbook/dp/1416950338/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1360038617&sr=8-4&keywords=my+first+cookbook
or
http://www.amazon.com/Man-Can-Plan-Great-Meals/dp/1579546072/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1360038663&sr=1-2&keywords=my+first+cookbook+microwave
I'm sorry.
I forgive you. Now quit mothering all of us.0 -
I do NOT understand.
I get it if he works late, and you are home earlier or stay at home. What I DO NOT get is making two separate meals, or even more for kids. Eating healthy should be a great new plan for the whole family.
You are not your husbands mother.
http://youareagrownman.com/2010/07/21/know-how-to-cook/
http://*****ielife.necole*****ie.com/2011/03/stop-coddling-grown-men/
Kids should learn early to enjoy and like healthy food; or it's a vicious cycle. They will have trouble liking them later in life.
Try starting a husband who can't on something like this
http://www.amazon.com/Paula-Deens-My-First-Cookbook/dp/1416950338/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1360038617&sr=8-4&keywords=my+first+cookbook
or
http://www.amazon.com/Man-Can-Plan-Great-Meals/dp/1579546072/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1360038663&sr=1-2&keywords=my+first+cookbook+microwave
I'm sorry.
I forgive you. Now quit mothering all of us.
Cal we let this be the /thread ?0 -
In most households that I know of, there are certain things the man does - like take out the trash, mow the lawn, do maintenance on the vehicles - and certain things the woman does - cook, vacuum, wash dishes. Nothing wrong with that!
In my house, whoever has the time or inclination when a chore needs to be done does the chore. My husband can cook, I can take out the trash. We mix it up.0 -
When I worked, my hubby and I shared ALL responsibilities, now that I'm not working I do most things but I certainly don't mother him. He's a big boy, he can look after himself.0
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This is why I dislike feminists. If you ladies want to fix the cars, take out the garbage and do all the other "traditional man" roles while your husband does the cooking and cleaning... that's your decision. But you don't have the right to call marriages where the couple enjoy traditional roles a mother/child relationship. There is absolutely nothing child like about my husband.
If someone has told you that is what feminism is about, they're lying to you. It's about having an equal role in society. So not a total role reversal.
Rumour has it I'm a bit of a feminist, but one of my best friends is an active, goes to meetings, goes to protests kind of feminist. And do you know what? She does a lot of the cooking. She can also take out rubbish (really? That's a man job? I never knew that) and do other traditionally masculine things. Feminism isn't about telling others what to do, or swapping gender roles, it's about BOTH genders having the right to equal choices. And that includes who cooks.
Edit: Yeah, going to meetings makes you a feminist
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