He told me he was embarrassed of me while I was pregnant!

So when he gets tired of being abusive to you, is he going to move on to the children?

I am very sorry for your situation, but do you want to live like this for the rest of your life? Do you want to raise your children in this toxic environment?

It's hard to be single with kids, but lots of people do it. It can be done. Better to have your self respect and be single and poor than trying to hang on to this *kitten* who is nothing but an insecure bully. He will never change. This is as good as he will ever be.

Take care of yourself.

If all gos well once your 150 hopefully you will be so confident in what you have accomplished and what you have done you will realize you deserve better. Then and only then hopefully you will kick his *kitten* to the curb for treating you so badly. Keep in mind that with the way he treats you, ultimately your son will get old enough to see it , (chances are he wont stop after you have made it to your goal) and children learn what they see and your son will grow up to be like him... DO you want that?

Just my opinion but if you left with your other child there must have been a reason and staying with some one who treats you badly should not be a option Good luck to you and your son

It will stay with you. I stayed in a bad relationship/marriage for 7 years, and it never got better. After someone insults you like that, especially when you expect to have their support...that is something that I don't think anyone can get out of the back of their mind.

I have been there. Leave him now and save yourself and your children the extreme heartbreak that is coming for all of you.

Okay….

I know this is over nine pages long and I didn’t read all the comments, so bear with me if this is a repeat.

My boys’ dad smacked me around occasionally. And it wasn’t a regular thing, so I overlooked it. He told me he’d leave me if I ever got to 140 (mind you I weigh 177 now). He was caught sucking face with a “friend” at a party who weighed well over 140, and was about 4 inches shorter than I am.

I didn’t call foul until I found him in bed with another “friend.”

Kicked him out.

Hooked up with a friend of mine. I didn’t know it until well into the relationship that he was verbally abusive. He’d literally drool over the waitresses at the restaurants we’d go to and ask me why my rack wasn’t like that. Mind you, at the time I was wearing a size 5 jeans. REALLY, dude? OMG.

Honey, THEY DO NOT CHANGE. They don’t.

You say you aren’t going to leave him. How long do you want to take this *kitten*? You are better than that, more deserving, and I don’t care how many children you bear for this guy, you deserve more than what you are getting.

I remarried. We just celebrated our 9th anniversary last December. He doesn’t give a fat rat’s@$$ how much I weigh. Yes, he’s supportive of my weight loss. He was supportive of my weight gain. He’s one of those rare finds that doesn’t so much see what’s on the outside, but who I am on the inside.

(ETA that when you find that you stand on your own two feet? You can pretty much call the shots, and you are worth that feeling and more. Please friend me if you need a sounding board or broad shoulders, huh?)

Any man who is embarrassed of you while carrying his child is nothing more than an a-hole. I'm sorry. You were carrying HIS child - of which HE was partially creating. A man like this does not deserve to have the capability to pro-create. In fact, men like this do not deserve to even possess a penis! Sorry, but I believe he does not deserve you! You are worth far more than this a-hole What a j-a for even making you feel this way!!!!

He should have been proud that you were carrying HIS child!. A-Hole!!!! Lose the f-ing loser! He's not worth your time!

Whenever i've been faced with the question to break up or not, I make two lists: pros and cons of being with that person.

If the cons list is longer, then to me that made the choice clearer, and I agree with what many have said so far... that the pain he has caused by his words will stay with you.
If he is that bothered by your body changing for the sake of having a baby, then I question the depth of his feelings he might have ever had for *you* meaning your insides, who you are, regardless of what your body presents... makes me wonder if you had an accident or got sick, would he stay or go? How would you react to the situation if the roles were reversed?
It is my opinion that you should not stay with a person who is not willing to give the same immaterial things, (like care, trust, faith) that you are willing to give, especially if you feel you give those things freely, and without even considering what state he might be in if he needed any of those things.

You cannot get your time back, this is your life.
Good luck.

Thats really intense, I know you said your staying in the relationship for the kids, but you should know that there are always doors and windows of opportunity.

Honey, when you've lost the weight and you're looking ultra hot YOU won't want HIM!!

THIS!!

I have been through a change for the better and realized the person I was with was what I settled for because I thought I could not do any better at the time and they were someone I would not have looked at twice if I was feeling good about myself.

I found later that they actually had interest in keeping me 'down' because it served them to have in a place of low self esteem, it meant they didn't have to do much, and I was happy with love "crumbs".

So the truth came out. He is no longer attracted to me. I had a baby 6 mo ago. When he said this 11 days ago and I weighed 212. I now weigh 201. I started the juicing diet immediately the day he told me all of this. He was not a supportive bf during the pregnancy. A lot of insults. He rarely touched my tummy. He is more interested in his son than me. He has told me he doesnt enjoy having sex and that his friends and family are constantly telling him he could do better. Very verbally abusive. Im not leaving him. I already have a 3 yr old from a previous relationship and now I have a 6 mo old. And I am no longer able to have children. Leaving him is out of the question. I know I should. But ..oh well. My question is. When I lose the weight and im down at my goal weight of 150. Will I be able to look at him the same Or is the pain that hes caused by all of the insults going to stay with me? Has anyone gotn through this? kinda feel alone... He says hes trying to "wake me up before its to late". Ive never felt so ugly.

Okay, I get staying together for the kids, if he is a good father. I do. BUT...it is NOT good for children to see their father treat their mother disrespectfully. So he can feel however he wants but you must insist on polite interactions.

If you are going to stay in this relationship and preserve your self-worth you must write him out of your equation except as a co-parent. You are roommates and co-parents. This can be a civil relationship. But you must NOT let it affect your self worth. His opinion about you should count about as much as, well, that of whatever troll says something spiteful to you in this thread (and they will).

You need to treat yourself with the same gentleness with which you treat your children. And you need to be your own best advocate, just as you would be for your children. Do not let anyone treat you in a way that you would be outraged to see your children treated.

From now on, YOU get to decide who you are. His opinion no longer matters.