For Big Women on the Edge When the Subway is Too Crowded

I also don't think the actions of the OP could really be classed as any sort of "victory" in my opinion.

Of course it is good to stand up for yourself and that may feel exhilarating. On some occasions you absolutely do have to take a stand (pardon the pun.)

However, in a social situation like this one I think the truest triumph comes when you do not allow a rude person any kind of permission or ability to change your emotional state negatively.

The victory comes when despite someone being rude to you that you can simply smile sweetly, say "I hope you have a nice day" and walk away with your head held high....

Nice post.

Wow, really? People amaze me sometimes. That's some of why I live in the South, where folks are friendly and there's no subway... Wait a minute, if someone reading is reading this, don't become insulted if you're from the North.. I don't want to start a war, just joking, really... But I hear you, cause I've got a pretty big booty and I'm always concerned about squeezing in somewhere and irritating someone. She needs to take her huffing and puffing and stuff it somewhere! Good for you for not taking the "ish" and standing up for yourself. Completely enjoyed your post. Thank you!! And I wish you immense success in becoming healthier!

I live in the south, and trust me, it's not all peaches and sweet tea here either :laugh: I miss the North; yeah, the snow sucks, but at least people are honest and don't hide what they really feel behind "well bless your little heart". Random 2 cents

Excellent write up! you should send that in to some magazine editors and see if you can get it published!

Yes!

I just have to say I love this post! If you can't feel safe to humorously vent about being picked on because of size on a site meant to help ppl get fit, where can you? If people don't like what you wrote, they can MOVE ON. Someone must have peed in their cornflakes to post something to admonish you for fighting back. Just because it "could have" been done in a more politically correct manner doesn't mean a thing. They weren't there. They didn't experience it. You did and you handled it in a way YOU felt comfortable with. THAT is what matters.....nothing ANY of the rest of us peanut gallery members say or think matters, including me. Just keep doing what you're doing!

Good for you!! Love your story! To anyone who takes offense then you're the ones with a problem if you think this has anything to do with you.. gesss get over yourselves.

I would rather be squished in a train with a bunch of over weight people than a bunch of skinny bony rude hags with bags any day.

Yes but more importantly, what is a MILF and am I one???? :noway:
Derailed thread.

Wow, really? People amaze me sometimes. That's some of why I live in the South, where folks are friendly and there's no subway... Wait a minute, if someone reading is reading this, don't become insulted if you're from the North.. I don't want to start a war, just joking, really...

Last time you Southerns tried that is did not work out so well... :smokin:

I suspect this is why a bunch of us are "gun toting red necks"... we don't want to stockpile all our arms in one place again... just in case...

ha, why would she even bring up her education and pedigree? that is so silly, good for you for sticking up for yourself!

Maybe this had nothing to do with the OP's weight and had more to do with one person invading another person's space. I live in NYC and public transit is a nightmare due to overcrowding and limited seat space. The so-called underfed woman asked if the OP could move a step over. It was probably because the seated woman felt too crowded/boxed in. I have felt that way more times than I can count and it has nothing to do with the persons size. it has to do with invading my personal space and a slight movement in one direction would help immensly.

The fact that the seated woman was being called "underfed" for not being obese shows me that the OP was overly sensitive about her size and that probably played a factor in how the seated woman responded.

I am reminded of a (paraphrased) famous Winston Churchill quote...

"Yes, I'm fat, but you my good lady are stupid. The difference being is that I can lose weight and you'll always be dumb."


(Also...the term "redneck" is offensive. We prefered to be call "Agro-Americans!")

Sounds like the chip on your shoulder is as big as the bag she's carrying.

This exactly!

Maybe she's carrying a big bag because she's sick of getting hit in the face with bellies, bags, backpacks and the like? Maybe she's a little irritated that people keep bumping into her and think they can just run over her because she's small? The bag gives her a little more room as if she were an "average" sized person.

It's her genetics. You can't get mad at someone's genetics that makes them small and tiny. We all come in different shapes and sizes. We should be respectful of all of them.

ugh I know how that feels. I'm 5'1 and people act like Im invisible. I get ran over, reached over, shoved, elbowed, and bumped into no matter where I go.

You are my new hero. :-)

Honestly, a purse in the seat? Get a grip.

I'm so sorry to hear that people have treated you that way. I have a relative that is sick and on medication that caused her to gain a lot of weight very quickly (a lot of swelling). She is off the meds now and the swelling has already gone down significantly. Anyway, my point is that people would at times be very insulting towards her. I don't know why people behave that way. Are they young? I would never treat someone that way, and it would never even cross my mind. I ride the subway everyday. I sit with my body pulled as close together as I can and hold my purse on my lap. I also get up and offer my seat whenever I see someone that may need it more. I also have knee issues, so I understand that can be challenging. At times when it was acting up badly I had trouble standing on the train, without getting tossed off my balance. I don't witness any behavior like this on the subway. I just sometimes encounter people that are drunk, want to talk to me for advice and then shake my hand, try to tell me about religion, or people that are yelling at imaginary people. I hope you experience this less and less. Take heart that most people disapprove of that behavior and would support you.

I'm tiny, but I did not take offense to what the OP said because I already know that I'm well fed, healthy and thoughtful of others (my purse is small also).

It would be REALLY nice if people would NOT ASSUME that just because someone is "skinny", that they haven't struggled.

Ok...so I ate way too much over the course of 10 years and got fat. Like super fat. I made ALL those choices. I'm now fighting back and losing it. YAY ME.

That does not give me (or anyone else) the right to assume someone who is "skinny" or "underfed" just "hasn't lived a life like mine". You know..cuz eating disorders just are mythical and all.

GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like if the tables were reversed, the obvious hypocrisy would be more evident.

And don't get it twisted...I'm another chubster out there in the real world but for the most part, people are very nice to me....cuz I'm nice to them.

endrant/

Agreed!!!!

I am not all that "big" and I find ladies of all sizes tend to try and take up space. Some folks just need more space than others. I live in Toronto and this actually happened the other day.. I'm used to it though and life moves on.

I think the person may have an a**hole but seriously, criticizing about someone's size on a site like this is super lame. Brush it off and move on.. and I've also been to New York plenty of times and the subway is busy and something you just get used to. If you can't get used to it, get a car or move elsewhere.

I don't really like the title of this thread or some of the content I originally read. It should be edited or the thread locked entirely. That's kinda discriminating against someone when you don't know that it could be their genes that cause them to be shorter and thinner than you.. not something I expect to see on MFP.

Judging someone based on their size is wrong, obviously. So, yes, even skinny people shouldn't be judged based on their size. However, I think what the OP was getting at is that the woman with the rude comments was CLEARLY judging her based on her being bigger than herself. I find that some people always try to find the negatives in everyone's posts. I highly doubt OP has anything against 'skinny' people, as she is trying to be one of 'them' in her journey to become healthier with My Fitness PAL.

I'd just like to restate that the poster isn't discriminating against skinny people, but is obviously sick of being judged based on her size and being bullied because of it, as well, and is just venting at the RUDE women (who happens to be thin) who took up more than her share of space on the subway and then bullied her.

Also, not everything she said will you agree with. Maybe the subway doesn't seem busy to you, but to someone else, it might feel like a cramped, stuffy, jerky hell. Dealing with a-holes on the way home/to work (or wherever) is the last thing anyone needs to deal with. Why can't you just let the woman rant? Pals, indeed.