No Homo?

As a queer woman, i too find "no homo" to be very homophobic and insulting.

Yep. As a straight woman I also find it homophobic and insulting. Folks who enjoy Jay Smooth might appreciate his Beginner's Guide to No Homo.

http://www.illdoctrine.com/2008/08/a_beginners_guide_to_no_homo.html

I see it used mostly in a tongue and cheek way. Actual homophobs wouldn't be comfortable enough to even joke about it.

I like the gays (NOHOMO), really my only issue with the community is a lot of them are way to easily offended. Ya gotta be able to take a joke especially if it is from a friend who legitimately supports gay rights.

This week George Takei said something to this effect.

Let us not lose our good humor in the quest for political sensitivity....We mustn't descend to the lowest common denominator of butthurt

I have seen some of my male frieds use the term after complimenting another male friend (of theirs) and it is said jokingly among friends ... I don't know that they have said it to men they are NOT friends with who might take offense though.

With that being said, I'm not crazy about the term myself and agree that women are put to a different standard when it comes to giving other women compliments.

Being a bisexual female myself, I compliment my girlfriends all the time, but leave no disclaimer at the end. To my knowledge, my girlfriends don't wonder if my compliment means anything more than what it actually ~says~ and, therefore, do not take it as an invitation for sex ... except, of course, for those who I ~have~ extended the invitation, lol

Are the majority of guys on this site so insecure with their sexuality that if they compliment another guy, they have to end the comment with "no homo"? As a gay guy, I find this kind of insulting. As if being gay is something I should be ashamed of and requires a disclaimer. Yes homo.

it's more of a joke/meme from some other forums, namely bb.com and 4chan etc

I agree with you. I dont understand it. We girls are always complimenting each other all of the time and we are not afraid of being thought as lesbians ( at least not me or anyone I know).

I think it's just because, at least in this era, men sort of get uncomfortable around gays (or at least that's what I've noticed). So just to clarify, they say "no homo" to make the other one know that they aren't homosexual. Meh, personally when people say something like "I love you no homo" to me, I say "I love you too lots of homo" back even though I'm straight.

The point is that having to clarify their sexuality so they are not perceived to be homosexual reflects the perception that there is something wrong with being homosexual.

I find it offensive that it bothers you so much you Need to know, for if you didn't you wouldn't have created the thread.

To each their own on their mindsets.

If we never complain, how do we expect change to come?

Change comes from how you interpret the present and teach future generations through example. Not by complaining.

^ I lean towards this. I find that half of me wants to say, get over it as I don't think most guys mean to offend (although some do) and i've certainly said something similar a few times over the years, and I think we, as a society, have become way to sensitive and easy to offend.

Then again, I want to say grow the **** up to the guys that say it regularly, as it's not like a swarm of gay dudes are going to attack you if you compliment another guy.

So yea OP, you're a good looking dude.

Blame stupid frat boy college humor...... One joke video that goes viral and everybody thinks its cool. :noway:

I find it offensive that it bothers you so much you Need to know, for if you didn't you wouldn't have created the thread.

To each their own on their mindsets.

If we never complain, how do we expect change to come?

Change comes from how you interpret the present and teach future generations through example. Not by complaining.

Right... oppressed groups gain equality by....shutting up?

I agree with you. I dont understand it. We girls are always complimenting each other all of the time and we are not afraid of being thought as lesbians ( at least not me or anyone I know).

That's cause we're all bisexual. "I kissed a girl & I liked it" & all that. Didn't you get the memo?

No one has ever said that to me, but.........
Don't assume these salutations are used out of ignorance or lack of experience.
What salutation would prefer be used to convey that a compliment does not have any innuendo or sexual motives ?

Then maybe the phrase should be turned into " no motives" after their post

It's loud enough and not creepy.

This seems like something that calls for a parade.

I've seen about 40 parades this week. I'm over that

No parade is needed. A small dinner party will suffice.

If by dinner party you mean Decadence, tell me where to bring the booze.

ALL the guys at my last job did that..it was so annoying..you would think after the 1st 5 times they would all know none of them were like that..its stupid, and i wish it would just go away..who cares if you are homosexual or not..not me

Ugh, I hate "No Homo."

Do women say "No Les" after complimenting each other? No? Men are so insecure.

I have actually heard this once, unbelievably, and more girls than that say "no homo" to each other as well. : | And here you thought ladies were safe when it came to being affectionate...!

It makes me cringe every time someone actually says "no homo" out loud. Not even because it offends me as a queer person (I've pretty much tuned out that noise and dgaf for the most part because life is so boring if every little thing offends you) but seriously, are you really that tacky and insecure about your sexuality?

If anyone said it to me, I'd just be like, "Yes, homo. So much homo. All the homo in the world."

I think it's just because, at least in this era, men sort of get uncomfortable around gays (or at least that's what I've noticed). So just to clarify, they say "no homo" to make the other one know that they aren't homosexual. Meh, personally when people say something like "I love you no homo" to me, I say "I love you too lots of homo" back even though I'm straight.

The point is that having to clarify their sexuality so they are not perceived to be homosexual reflects the perception that there is something wrong with being homosexual.

Not necessarily - people don't like to be mistaken for what they are not. I'm like that too and so are you and everyone else.

Yup, that's why I make sure to say "no vegetarian" when I eat a salad. I also say "no hetero" when I compliment a guy, and "no chef" when I cook. Sometimes I walk up to people on the street and tell them a list of the things I'm not. It doesn't last long though, but as they walk away I'll say "no stalker". Just to make sure they know.