Strangest thing you have heard a kid say

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  • xDMartinHx
    xDMartinHx Posts: 1,002 Member
    "Dad, why have you got boobies"

    from my son when he was 7

    working on losing the moobs
  • plynn54
    plynn54 Posts: 912 Member
    My daughter was around 3 years old, I always call her little turkey. I was starting to cut the thanksgiving turkey and I went into the"living room where she was just before with the huge knife in my hand. she said "mommy whats that big knife for? I said "im going to cut up the turkey" she looked at me with a horrible look on her face "mommy you are going to cut me up?"
  • Territravel
    Territravel Posts: 165 Member
    My 7-year old son and I were watching the superbowl and during Beyonce's performance he said, "She should really put on some pants. You can totally see up her skirt. Helloooo? Private Parts!"

    Bahhhhhaaaa!
  • mikkimomof3
    mikkimomof3 Posts: 224 Member
    When my oldest was about a year old she was climbing up one of those little tyke toy slides. When she got to the top and bent to sit down, she passed gas and immediately looked up at me surprised. She then very seriously said "bless you"...I was crying for laughing so hard--kids are awesome :)
  • 37434958
    37434958 Posts: 457 Member
    LMAO! SOOOO cute! Im laughing SO much!
  • 0atmeal_queen
    0atmeal_queen Posts: 34
    I am a teacher at a high school, I hear the weirdest things from my students. Just want to know what else people are hearing from kids these days. Here is mine for the day.

    "The chicken quesadilla is my true love, the steak nachos are just my *kitten* on the side"

    haha
  • Territravel
    Territravel Posts: 165 Member
    A co-worker once told a story about changing clothes in front of her youngest daughter. Her daughter said when I grow up, I want to have LONG boobies like you Mommy.
  • heykaraoke
    heykaraoke Posts: 191 Member
    These stories are HILARIOUS!

    My kid has some real gems. This one happened just a few weeks ago. There's a particular grocery store we go to that has childcare while you shop. My 4-year-old LOVES to go there to play. So one day I'm picking her up after doing my shopping and the childcare attendant says she has a funny story for me. Apparently my little girl asked the lady for markers and paper so she could draw a picture for her mommy. When the attendant asked her if she wanted to draw a picture for daddy, too, my daughter responded with "I don't have a daddy."

    *headdesk* you have a daddy AND a stepdaddy, you goofy kid! I guess neither one of them count! :laugh:
  • 0atmeal_queen
    0atmeal_queen Posts: 34
    4 year old nephew called for me down the hallway well he was in the bathroom

    In a very serious voice,
    " close the door please, i need to concentrate to poo "

    2 minutes later

    " My butt is on fire! "
  • Jessimaaka
    Jessimaaka Posts: 127 Member
    My eight year old niece no longer required a booster in the car, she had hit 8 years old and 80lbs. She's like "I'm HUGE, but not as HUGE as Auntie Jess!!!" (I was eight months preggo at the time).
  • amez1974
    amez1974 Posts: 213 Member
    These are so fun to read!!

    When youngest dd was about four she was due for her booster shots. As the nurse is trying to give her a shot dd screams at the top of her lungs "It's my body and I'm saying you can't touch me!!!"

    When ds was around 3-4 he was a huge mama's boy. He was always asking me if he could marry me when he grew up. I always told him that I was already married to daddy and he would find himself a lovely wife of his own. One day he said "What if daddy is leaning over (our neighbor's) pond and someone hits him over the head, and then he falls in and drowns? Will you marry me then?" I told dh he had better watch his back. Thankfully ds is now 11 and has no desire to marry me and doesn't remember his question ie. threat!
  • Queen_JessieA
    Queen_JessieA Posts: 1,059 Member
    When my youngest child was about 4, he went around the house singing "So and so is a doodie head....I work so hard and my butts so fly". I dunno where he got it from but it was so cute!
  • bigaussiebloke
    bigaussiebloke Posts: 257 Member
    When my Niece was 6 years old (now 22) she was sitting on my sisters lap when she sat up and randomly said:

    "Mum when I grow up, I hope I have boobs as long as your boobs"

    *silence*

    Lol
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
    My niece stayed overnight with me when she was four or so. I heard her in the other room crying so I asked her what was wrong. She just sobbed and sobbed saying her cheese was 'weak'. I was like wth? She held up a slice of cheese I had given her earlier, it had gotten warm and 'flopped over' when she held it up. lol

    I took my nephew hiking when he was about 3 and we were going up a big hill. He stopped and said, "I can't dooooooooo thissss! This hill is heavyyyyyyyy", in a horrible, whiney voice. He's 31 now but I can still hear him say it. :)
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
    My boyfriend's daughter, referencing her twin sister:

    "Daddy, can I make Anna into bacon?"

    BF: "Ummmm no? Why would you want to do that???"

    Child: "Because I want to eat her :)"

    On a completely unrelated note, I'm extra nice to that child...:laugh: :noway:
  • bigaussiebloke
    bigaussiebloke Posts: 257 Member
    lol did not see this one before i posted mine....Must be a thing for kids to say all around the world!! lol
  • Micahroni84
    Micahroni84 Posts: 452 Member
    My mom had just gotten her eyebrows tattooed and it was darker than the natural color. When my son saw her he asked "Grandma, why are you so mad? someone gave you angry eyebrows".

    Another time I asked him if he wanted to go to the 99 cent store with me and he said "No mom, they have girls with mustaches at the 99 cent store". I went alone and noticed he was right, many were quite hairy lol.

    This is so similar to what my 3.5 year old did. We were in Goodwill and there was a woman there with really heavy, hard looking make up and black drawn on eyebrows. My son pointed to her, practically in her face, and said, "She's jealous! She looks so jealous!"

    I booked it and on our way to the next Goodwill I explained to him that it isn't nice to point at people and talk about their looks. As we are walking down the isle in the 2nd Goodwill, after we've been there about ten minutes, the same lady comes up next to us. My son, remembering the talk I had with him on the way there says, "Mom. You know what jealous people look like? They look like this!" And then he proceeds to make a nasty face only he wasn't actually looking at me while he was talking. He was looking straight into the ladies face. Like he understood he couldn't call her out again but he was going to do it in a way he thought wouldn't get him into trouble.

    He does things like this constantly. It's his mission to embarrass me on a daily basis.
  • heagler870
    heagler870 Posts: 280 Member
    Just the other day at work some kid said to his dad "You need to clean out your nostrils" I laughed so hard!
  • silver_arrow3
    silver_arrow3 Posts: 1,373 Member
    My mom's favorite story to tell about me as a child was the day I threw a temper-tantrum. Note that I was always a very docile child... I never acted up in any way. This particular day when I was about three, I didn't get my way and threw a toy across the room screaming. I looked up at my mom, eyes round as saucers and asked, "Do you think Santa saw that?"

    My first summer teaching at a space camp (not THE Space Camp, mind you), we had this little ten year old Russian boy named Dmitri in class. One of their projects was to build a space station with a certain number of modules for living, experiments, etc, then present the finished product to the class. He went through each of the modules, "This is where the astronauts and cosmonauts eat their dinners. This is where they do their experiments." And just when we had thought he had wrapped it all up, "This is where they make babies." The future of the space program.
  • mattagascar
    mattagascar Posts: 708 Member
    That's not daddy
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
    That's not daddy
    Wanna be my daddy?
  • mattagascar
    mattagascar Posts: 708 Member
    That's not daddy
    Wanna be my daddy?

    I'll be your father figure...anything you have in mind
  • LittleMiss_WillLoseIt
    LittleMiss_WillLoseIt Posts: 1,373 Member
    That's not daddy
    Wanna be my daddy?

    Remember my money hookah!!
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
    That's not daddy
    Wanna be my daddy?

    I'll be your father figure...anything you have in mind
    I might need a little disciplining
  • Paijj
    Paijj Posts: 11
    When my step daughter was about 3, whenever she was being ornery in that cute way only 3 year olds can, I would always say to her "don't make me abuse you!" It would make her giggle.
    One day we were in Walmart and she was crawling on an empty shelf when I looked at her and said "Anna, you need to stop please", to which she replied in a very loud, very serious voice " Oh Bridgie, PLEASE don't abuse me!!!
    Every head in that dang store turned and looked at me...needless to say I never said that to her again!
  • mattagascar
    mattagascar Posts: 708 Member
    That's not daddy
    Wanna be my daddy?

    I'll be your father figure...anything you have in mind
    I might need a little disciplining

    ykNJgXC.jpg
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
    That's not daddy
    Wanna be my daddy?

    I'll be your father figure...anything you have in mind
    I might need a little disciplining

    ykNJgXC.jpg
    tumblr_m6liuli6rm1rxbw9bo1_500_zps95eec3f8.gif
  • dloyst20
    dloyst20 Posts: 98
    O where do I start...
    My kid was fooling around being silly and my mother asked her "where did you come from??" as if to say, we didn't know who she was because she was acting so silly.. and my daughter replied..."um, I don't know...I was an accident." Let me be clear...She was not an accident and would have never heard anyone say that about her!!! I was mortified...my mother on the other hand thought it was hilarious.
    I went to parent teacher meeting...her teacher says "so I hear congratulations is in order!"....I gave her a funny look, and she replied "O, perhaps not. Your daughter told me a very elaborate story about how you were married on the weekend, and that she was a flower girl."
    Movie store: Lady asked my kid if she had a brother or sister, she replied "no, they died." It wasn't funny at the time, and the lady across the counter looked horrified and apologized for our "loss"... she doesn't have any siblings, at all, never did, and my kid apparently has a very creative imagination.lol.
    My boyfriend had just come out of the shower and came into our room to change...closed the door behind him. Then there came the knock...my daughter says.."can I come in", I said no because we were changing and would be out in a minute...she replied with "but girls and boys aren't suppose to see eachother naked!" so I said, its okay, we aren't looking :noway: so she came back with "you better not be or you'll both be grounded!"
    kids are funny...
  • GetHotIn2014
    GetHotIn2014 Posts: 201 Member
    My cousin has like 6-7 kids now and they all are characters. Other day on Facebook he posted on Facebook:
    "Rowan: Daddy, sometimes when we go through the car wash my penis gets scared.

    Then, after we take a moment to reflect on this...

    Lydia: Daddy, sometimes when we go through the car wash my bagina gets scared."

    Someone commented and said "I'd avoid that car wash."

    I was lmao for a while after reading that.
  • CkepiJinx
    CkepiJinx Posts: 613 Member
    My daughter has come out with some doozies over the years.

    We went to Disney world when she was four and a worker asked her where she was from her response was " my mommy's belly" the young man paused for a minute looked at her looked at me and said " yes that's right" if I could have taken a picture of his face it was priceless but he recovered nicely :laugh:

    My father in law died unexpectedly 5 years ago and a few weeks later she was with my mother in law and said " well memere now that pepere is in heaven you can get remarried" now I assure you no one had even thought about much less talked about my MIL remarrying, I have no idea were she came up with that she was only six :noway:

    Then a few weeks later she again talking to my MIL said " well at least you get all the money in pepere's wallet now" :noway:

    Then at thanksgiving one year her and my nephew were talking they are only 2 months apart in age and all the sudden very loudly she says " I am not having any babies! " and my nephew says " but you have to have the babies you're a girl". Then he says to me " Aunt Carrie doesn't Camille have to have babies when she grows up". I told him o only if she wants too, he was horrified :laugh:

    When she was in first grade my German shepard passed away, we knew it was coming she was old and her health was failing. We discussed it with her quite a bit before hand. well she happened to be sleeping at my mother in laws when it happened so we called and asked my MIL to meet us at the vet because we had promised her she would get to say good bye. Well my nephew was there also so after we brought my daughter in he asked if he could say good bye to Tibet also. My MIL quickly replied " no Alex Tibet is sleeping ". Well my daughter very loudly and matter of factly says" she's not sleeping memere she's dead" :noway:

    I'm sometimes surprised my poor MIL still speaks to us :laugh:

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