The "ugly" friend...

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Replies

  • mariapuhl
    mariapuhl Posts: 529 Member

    So, when you said "I can't stand hanging out with girls - they annoy me." that wasn't ruling out the entire sex. *LOL*

    Lmao - good point out. I didn't mean it in the way that I just exclude them as possible friends. Just the ones that I know. They annoy me. So... they aren't my friends.

    I'm just crazy. Let's just leave it at that lol.
  • Celeigh12
    Celeigh12 Posts: 763 Member
    I don't think it's conscious if someone does it. We pick friends who make us feel good to be around. For most people that's people you enjoy being with, talking with, sharing experiences with. For people who base a lot of their self worth on their appearance that may also include being around someone less attractive as that makes them feel good. Doesn't make it less sad, but I can see how it happens.
  • micabrito2012
    micabrito2012 Posts: 103 Member
    I'm the ugly friend! But I don't give a Flying F*$#, I'm ugly and I know it!!!! oh Yea I work out!
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    I once dated a girl who legitimately practiced this. She said she had an "ugly friend" she'd take out with her so she would look better.

    All I could think was, given the attractiveness of said girl I was dating, that other girl had to be reeeeeeal ugly!

    she TOLD you this? How long did you date her?

    Less than two months. She was very annoying.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    I have never and will never consider the attractiveness of my friends as a factor in deciding who to associate with.

    Me either.
  • Rosplosion
    Rosplosion Posts: 739 Member
    I've been the ugly/fat friend. I know this happens. You know when you never get invited to parties of your "best friends" or taken to the keggers. You know when your friends tease you all the time about stupid BS just to make you feel bad. You know when you get ditched at the drop of a hat. That hurts.

    I've also been accused of only having friends who need "help" so I can feel superior.

    This was all a long time ago. Now I have the many of the SAME friends but we're all a little more secure with ourselves and love one another very much. I am CERTAINLY not the ulgy one, and although I am clearly the fattest of my friends, that does not come into play in our friendships.
  • crazytreelady
    crazytreelady Posts: 752 Member
    I think it is a stupid thing for anyone to do....

    I am friends with some one because I like them, they make me laugh, I make them laugh... Ect...

    First and foremost, I want my friends to find happiness and feel good about themselves..... I would never call or bring a friend along somewhere to make myself feel better. The goal is, to make them feel good, because if they feel good and I feel good, then that's all that really matters.....

    I realize the logic above is oddly worded..... It is odd, because I can't even fathom having an "ugly friend" to make me feel good about myself.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    i have lots,, it is what is inside that counts,
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    I knew someone like this. Sister of an ex-boyfriend was very pretty, & had a friend who was very unattractive by society's standards of physical beauty. They made an odd looking pair, and went out together often. The "ugly" friend didn't seem to mind. I didn't ask.
  • EmRN06
    EmRN06 Posts: 85 Member
    I think that is terrible and I hope people don't really keep around "ugly" friends just to make themselves feel better, but as evidenced by these posts I guess some people do.

    My friends are all beautiful people inside and out, but that is not the reason I hang out with them. I have been best friends with most of these girls since highschool and they are like sisters to me. I have considered myself the ugly friend, or ugly duckling of the group, but of course I have kept that thought to myself, and I know my friends would never think that either.

    You are all beautiful!
  • twinkiemon
    twinkiemon Posts: 216 Member
    For me, (and I know this sounds so cliche) but I totally believe beauty comes from within and I like to surround myself with people who have beautiful souls and spirits. So, as far as physical appearance, honestly I don't pay much attention when I go out with my friends - I'm hanging out with them because of who they are even if others think they're very beautiful or very ugly. Trust me, I've met tons of physically beautiful people who were NOT beautiful on the inside and I don't make time for people like that.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    I once dated a girl who legitimately practiced this. She said she had an "ugly friend" she'd take out with her so she would look better.

    All I could think was, given the attractiveness of said girl I was dating, that other girl had to be reeeeeeal ugly!

    she TOLD you this? How long did you date her?

    Less than two months. She was very annoying.

    Well, at least it was short lived :) *smooches*
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    I'm the ugly friend! But I don't give a Flying F*$#, I'm ugly and I know it!!!! oh Yea I work out!

    You're kidding, right?:huh:
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    I once dated a girl who legitimately practiced this. She said she had an "ugly friend" she'd take out with her so she would look better.

    All I could think was, given the attractiveness of said girl I was dating, that other girl had to be reeeeeeal ugly!

    she TOLD you this? How long did you date her?

    Less than two months. She was very annoying.

    I assume she did not tell you that upfront, though?
  • CarolinaGirlinVA
    CarolinaGirlinVA Posts: 1,508 Member
    All of my friends are hot. Now having said that...there are times I feel intimidated and go on the quiet side, but then I have another drink and the moment passes! :drinker:
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    If my friends thought that way, they would NOT be my friends.

    We all have our flaws and our perfections.
  • lawandfitness
    lawandfitness Posts: 1,257 Member
    I know a girl through my sister that did shi* like this to her supposed "best friend"

    One night they were out at a bar and the shallow chick was checking out this guy..... well this guy approached her friend, and they were hitting it off nicely.....

    The shallow chick then went over to the guy's friends and asked them if he was blind and how could he go for her friend over her...... the shallow chick then proceeded to ditch her friend at the bar and left in a cab. When the friend went looking for her, the guys friends told her what her shallow friend said..... they stopped talking

    What really irritates me is after a month of not talking the friend forgave her shallow friend and now they go out again.... some chicks never learn their lessons!
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
    My "Sissy" and I have been friends for almost 16yrs.
    In high school she always thought I was so pretty and I always thought SHE was the pretty one
    In our 20s our friendship continued to grow and we're very very close.
    At one point a couple years ago, she got up to 230lbs at 5'4".....I still thought she was beautfiul. I didn't even notice her weight. And vice versa. She didn't notice how much weight I had gained and still thought I looked beautiful.
    It wasn't until we had both gotten into fitness and down to the 140s, looking through old pics that we both gasped "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I WAS FAT?!?!" LoL

    THAT'S true friendship. They're beautiful and wonderful in your eyes no matter what.
    A person who keeps you around to make themselves feel better is not a friend unless it's because they genuinely make you happy.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    I've known most of my friends since we were in 7th grade. We're all hot, sexy biatches (at least in my eyes). They are also all married so I don't think this applies. I think I've passed the age where anyone would do this. Well, I certainly hope so.

    For the record, MissK is my AWESOME friend, not my fat or ugly friend. She's a babe.

    *blush* YOU are my rad as hell friend!!! And you're sexy.
  • Stacyplus5
    Stacyplus5 Posts: 493
    I have a friend who is beautiful, but if at anytime we are out together if I get one look from anyone it ruins her night. She gets huffy and says they just look at you because your tall wtf to you wear heels anyways. It doesnt happen very often that I get the look because she curvy and Im built like a post lol but she can't stand to not be the center of attention always. But I love her anyways if I have a dead body to hide shes the girl I would call, lol
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    I know a girl through my sister that did shi* like this to her supposed "best friend"

    One night they were out at a bar and the shallow chick was checking out this guy..... well this guy approached her friend, and they were hitting it off nicely.....

    The shallow chick then went over to the guy's friends and asked them if he was blind and how could he go for her friend over her...... the shallow chick then proceeded to ditch her friend at the bar and left in a cab. When the friend went looking for her, the guys friends told her what her shallow friend said..... they stopped talking

    What really irritates me is after a month of not talking the friend forgave her shallow friend and now they go out again.... some chicks never learn their lessons!


    oh. My! Karma will get her for being so ugly, even if she was pretty..... *tisk*
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    If I had any friends, I'd pick good-looking ones to draw in the girls, then shoulder-hop them for the score with my wit and charm.
  • CP_9712
    CP_9712 Posts: 25 Member
    I had a girl tell me that she can only be friends with attractive people and thats why we were friends. We stopped being friends after that. Its really weird to chose your friends based on how they look.
  • Pink_Pandas
    Pink_Pandas Posts: 27
    I really have no idea if guys do that..but I doubt its the "ugly" friend. I think it would more be like the "embarassing" friend -- it wouldn't even be about his looks I don't think. I think it would be about his sociability and masculinity. At least thats what I would assume! I don't own a penis nor have I ever been apart of a dude group (aside from my gay friends) so I really can't say I know.

    However, I did used to think of myself as the "ugly" friend because I was heavier. I don't think so anymore. I think I'm a beautiful person. I have a hour glass figure, a nice face, and I'm a good, genuine person. I would never think of me or any of my good friends as the "ugly" one anymore. The only ugly friend would probably be the one that refers to people as the ugly friend. :P
  • Rosytakesoff
    Rosytakesoff Posts: 321
    Reading this thread, I realized I have no clue what goes on in the world. I didn't think anyone did this outside of that one mean girl in junior high we all knew.

    I'm pretty certain my friends like me for me. Because I don't go out to clubs, etc, and I've been married for half my life, so I wouldn't make a good ugly distraction. Also, most of my friends are married too. Boring, I tell you; we're all completely boring.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    My "Sissy" and I have been friends for almost 16yrs.
    In high school she always thought I was so pretty and I always thought SHE was the pretty one
    In our 20s our friendship continued to grow and we're very very close.
    At one point a couple years ago, she got up to 230lbs at 5'4".....I still thought she was beautfiul. I didn't even notice her weight. And vice versa. She didn't notice how much weight I had gained and still thought I looked beautiful.
    It wasn't until we had both gotten into fitness and down to the 140s, looking through old pics that we both gasped "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I WAS FAT?!?!" LoL

    THAT'S true friendship. They're beautiful and wonderful in your eyes no matter what.
    A person who keeps you around to make themselves feel better is not a friend unless it's because they genuinely make you happy.


    that story made my heart smile. :heart: :bigsmile:
  • mzjessicaxo
    mzjessicaxo Posts: 330 Member
    I think all my friends are beautiful, I could care less what others think of us.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    I once dated a girl who legitimately practiced this. She said she had an "ugly friend" she'd take out with her so she would look better.

    All I could think was, given the attractiveness of said girl I was dating, that other girl had to be reeeeeeal ugly!

    she TOLD you this? How long did you date her?

    Less than two months. She was very annoying.

    I assume she did not tell you that upfront, though?

    Well not the first time I met her or anything. And I never did meet the ugly friend, that I remember anyway. No it just came up in conversation one day. It was reason #16 I didn't see things working out between us. And soon after that.. walking papers, lovely parting gifts, enjoy the home version of the game.
  • HappyNinjaStar
    HappyNinjaStar Posts: 353 Member
    I never thought about it until my ex-husband said my two best friends were way hotter than I was. Then I was super paranoid, but came to the conclusion that my friends were true friends. Ex-husband, as shown by the 'ex' was the 'ugly' person in that equation!

    I'm glad he's an EX if he's going to tell you that your friends are hotter. *kitten*! (him)

    He was a huge *kitten*, and that statement was the beginning of the end... Although strangely enough (or maybe not?), years later he ended up marrying one of those friends that was 'way hotter' than me. Guess he already had an idea of what he wanted instead of me!
  • Helenavee42
    Helenavee42 Posts: 175
    I have seen it too many times. In hs i was the "ugly friend" or well the fat one. Now I have now friends. Meh *shrugs*

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