Why do women do it to each other?

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  • xaMErica
    xaMErica Posts: 284 Member
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    You should invite that girl to MFP if you see her again! =) She'll get tons of support!
  • jennifermarie16144
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    I do not get why young girls and some women are this way. We should all be supporting eachother and not hating on eachother. This girl should of been proud that this girl had the balls to get up and do something about her weight. I hope she dropped this girl as a friend because she deserves better than that!
  • mlb929
    mlb929 Posts: 1,974 Member
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    I haven't had the time or energy to respond to each post - but only to the OP. I'll play devils advocate a little.... you don't know the dynamic of the two girls or their relationship, you don't know their history, who they are or what brought them to the gym that day. Only a brief conversation that appeared to be to you, a little one sided of a skinny girl vs a fat girl conversation. My teenage babysitter is totally a sweet girl, athletic and fit, she's gone from skinny to heavier, to skinny to fit, bouncing around 10-30 lbs during her high school years, she is awesome, mature and responsible, I have a lot of respect for her, I totally could see the same conversation between her and one of her skinnier friends or heavier friends.

    I view the conversation you posted as simply two teens in a gym, the skinny one not being comfortable for being there and the heavier one more committed, I don't see it as a fat vs thin or mean vs nice, or anything more than just silly teen conversation. I personally wouldn't have thought twice about it after observing it because it wasn't my business to being with and wouldn't be the next time I saw them at the gym either.

    My kids and I laugh and joke constantly about our abilities at certain things, my kids will make fun of me because I'm terrible at geography, it's not personal, it doesn't have to do with anyone being more fit, thinner, stronger, smarter, some of us are better at some things than the other. Lighten up. Humor and teasing really does make us stronger, next time, maybe the more committed girl will come to the gym alone and hook up with someone more like minded.
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
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    re the vehicle of action (gene vs enzyme vs consciousness vs sets of interacting, sometimes contradictory cognitive modules vs cultural memes and social constraints) - imo it's (again) a question of the unit of analysis you're wanting to look at, where really there's unceasing, recursive interaction between all of these bits, that is selection

    kind of fun to pop in here - glad people are taking time to elaborate (more so than myself) - nice little surprise on mfp.
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
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    I haven't read through this entire thread...

    But pretty much because I hate women. Alot. It gives me great pleasure to reassert my dominance, even with those I pretend to like. ;)
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    Ultimately, what you seem to be implying in this thread is that women are genetically predisposed to treat each other like the example in the OP because that's how we evolved (lolwat), and this is a fault we must strive to overcome. Calling major BS here.
    Go ahead and call BS on your strawman.
    You are taking what you think is a pattern of behavior and terming it "programming" and I am saying I see the opposite pattern of behavior, why don't you also see that as genetic programming?
    Which part of polymorphism do you not understand?

    Honestly, if you don't understand anything at all about neural networks and how they do what they do, it is rather ridiculous to argue about whether or not you think they are "programmed."
    That's the type of daily experience minorities and women face.
    Thanks, I'll be sure to remember that if some day I ever run into one of these "women" or "minorities" you speak of.


    it's a slippery slope, my friend.

    http://www.ferris.edu/isar/archives/genes-trust.htm
    Awesome, please go the full Godwin why don't you. Oh, you did. Maybe throw in something about Stalin too? If you think any of what I think has anything in common with the article you linked, your strawmen aren't even man-shaped anymore.

    Understanding the role genes play in human behavior patterns is NOT a slippery slope, because once again, for rational human beings, an understanding of why things are the way they are is not a moral compass nor a reason to behave a specific way. It is not my mentality that supports the stuff you hate. It is your mentality, the inability to detach "we are different" from "therefore one is superior and the rest should be oppressed" that produces and continues the things you hate about society. If you want society to stop sucking, one of the keys to being able to cause those changes is to understand why it sucks in the first place. Again, the roots of human behavior are relevant knowledge to have, on a personal and societal level.

    No reasonably intelligent person would actually think that genes produce an inescapable destiny. You're basically arguing against cheesy alarmist science fiction plots. You guys seem to be stuck in false dichotomy that allows only "blank slate + total free will" or "completely preprogrammed automatons." Reality is much messier than that, but we can still figure it out and it is a worthwhile pursuit.
    You seem to be unable to step outside the confines of your own discourse the tiny smidge it would take to look at your universe of discourse and see how limiting it is.

    "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
    and rightdoing there is a field.
    I’ll meet you there."
    I am not the one who is being limited by value judgments and concern about whether reality is "right" or "wrong" or who thinks that an "explanation" is the same thing as a "justification." I dispassionately follow the facts to find how they interact, because what it reveals is always frickin awesome. And you're getting all pissed that I'm not making enough judgy statements to convince you that I'm on your "side." Understanding and knowledge isn't a "side."
  • NanaWubbie
    NanaWubbie Posts: 248 Member
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    I think it is a teenager thing.....the neurons just don't connect right until 21. I hope you were able to offer a word of encouragement to the young woman!
  • cosmic0074
    cosmic0074 Posts: 91 Member
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    Aw, I only clicked on this because the headline misled me to believe this would've been a dirty thread ;/
    Anywho, women are *****es. That's why. I hope the chick dumped her unsupportive friend!
  • AABru
    AABru Posts: 610 Member
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    Are you kidding? Have you ever witnessed the abuse teen boys put each other through? Sometimes in disgusting ways. Teenagers' brains aren't cooked yet, they're all psychos, regardless of gender.

    I teach high school...THIS^^^^^ is true. The more insecure the young person, the meaner the behavior. It is a mechanism to save face when you know you probably can't do something or don't look "the right" way to make fun of someone who has visable flaws. And since it is a learned behavior, it can last a life time if the kids doesn't ever find self esteem. Unfortunately many people walk through life this way. Burns my butt that my students can't even TRY to be kind to each other most days unless they want something. I spend probably 20% of my work day correcting behavior and tyring to teach simple social graces like courtesy.:explode:
  • OnMyWeigh464
    OnMyWeigh464 Posts: 447 Member
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    Sounds like this skinny girl wants the friend to stay bigger than her so she can feel better about herself! I feel for that other girl. How frustrating for her!
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    Your inability to even comprehend what I have been saying is so frustrating, I am giving up on this conversation.
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
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    Your inability to even comprehend what I have been saying is so frustrating, I am giving up on this conversation.

    Good call. Me too.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    Like painfully so.

    As in, you didn't even get that the Rumi quote was about our universes of discourse.

    In terms of our talk, I'm not saying one thing is morally more correct than the other (nuclear family treated better or worse than strangers, and how that is evidence of certain concepts in evolutionary biology)... I am saying that scientists themselves immerse their interpretations and the value they give to observations based upon their own cultural assumptions.

    I'm not talking about morality here. I am talking about intellectual honesty that takes into account even the very cultures of the scientists producing the studies and how those cultures impact the study.
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
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    Stop it. You're going to make *my* panties wet.
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
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    Stop it. You're going to make *my* panties wet.

    Beta male strategy. JOKES!!!!
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    Like this ficking bull**** right here:

    "...once again, for rational human beings, an understanding of why things are the way they are is not a moral compass nor a reason to behave a specific way. It is not my mentality that supports the stuff you hate. It is your mentality, the inability to detach "we are different" from "therefore one is superior and the rest should be oppressed" that produces and continues the things you hate about society."

    First off my problem has never been that I thought it might make rape seem "ok" because you think there is a generic basis for it. My problem is that I think the "science" that says this is skewed. I think the theory that believes it is an evolutionary trait to pass on genes is an intellectually dishonest theory, for many reasons I have already stated. And my problem is also that we live in a culture where we witness animal behavior, we give it human meaning, we infuse t with our own cultural **** (sexism, racism, etc) and then we use the stories we create about it to try to explain our own behavior, never noticing that it is our cuktural interpretations that are giving us the data we are using to try to understand ourselves.

    I also have a huge problem when this sort of intellectually dishonest thinking becomes a reason for us to sit around and say **** like "men are naturally inclined to rape."

    That's ****ed.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    Stop it. You're going to make *my* panties wet.

    Hehehehe!
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    Like painfully so.

    As in, you didn't even get that the Rumi quote was about our universes of discourse.

    In terms of our talk, I'm not saying one thing is morally more correct than the other (nuclear family treated better or worse than strangers, and how that is evidence of certain concepts in evolutionary biology)... I am saying that scientists themselves immerse their interpretations and the value they give to observations based upon their own cultural assumptions.

    I'm not talking about morality here. I am talking about intellectual honesty that takes into account even the very cultures of the scientists producing the studies and how those cultures impact the study.
    You are still approaching this backwards. The idea that behaviors are products of selection is not derived from observing behaviors and then producing a model to attempt to explain the observed behaviors. It comes from the bottom up. Embryo development in multicellular animals is controlled by genes, the initial brain "structure" (and in humans much of its further development after birth) is a product of those genes (cell divisions, specialization, neuron connections, etc) and the behavior patterns of animals including human beings is then predisposed by those "structures." (Where else do you think your behavior comes from? If you don't think it's generated inside your brain then by all means demonstrate this by going under general anesthesia and choosing not to lose consciousness.

    This is not just a hypothesis and it is not based on observations of any particular behaviors. It is not subject to cultural or perceptual biases any more than mathematics or Mendelian genetics or planetary motion would be. Evolutionary algorithms are also not hypothetical, and one clearly applies to genes and their phenotypes (in this case behaviors) being exposed to selection.

    Particular hypotheses about what should be considered "a behavior" and whether they might be controlled by which genes in which ways, are what would be exposed to cultural biases and perceptions, etc. That doesn't invalidate the above.

    Since you seem to be arguing generalities instead of specifics of anything, I'm guessing this stuff may be a little more technical than your current knowledgebase, which is fine. I have spent an inordinate amount of time programming evolutionary algorithms for fun, as well as neural networks for fun, and I also happen to be well versed in Mendelian genetics which I've taught to thousands of people for fun. That is why this subject was so interesting to me... several things I enjoy and know quite well all converge on this topic. What an awesome bonus to find out that my nerdy pursuits and passions have turned me into a woman-hating rape-condoning homophobic sexist racist eugenicist bent on world domination.
    I also have a huge problem when this sort of intellectually dishonest thinking becomes a reason for us to sit around and say **** like "men are naturally inclined to rape."
    Now you're quote mining. I didn't say that. Face it, you're just mad at a book you disagreed with. I didn't write that book. Tell it to the authors because I don't really care what they wrote or why.
  • AlanTuring
    AlanTuring Posts: 159
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    Like painfully so.

    As in, you didn't even get that the Rumi quote was about our universes of discourse.

    In terms of our talk, I'm not saying one thing is morally more correct than the other (nuclear family treated better or worse than strangers, and how that is evidence of certain concepts in evolutionary biology)... I am saying that scientists themselves immerse their interpretations and the value they give to observations based upon their own cultural assumptions.

    I'm not talking about morality here. I am talking about intellectual honesty that takes into account even the very cultures of the scientists producing the studies and how those cultures impact the study.
    You are still approaching this backwards. The idea that behaviors are products of selection is not derived from observing behaviors and then producing a model to attempt to explain the observed behaviors. It comes from the bottom up. Embryo development in multicellular animals is controlled by genes, the initial brain "structure" (and in humans much of its further development after birth) is a product of those genes (cell divisions, specialization, neuron connections, etc) and the behavior patterns of animals including human beings is then predisposed by those "structures." (Where else do you think your behavior comes from? If you don't think it's generated inside your brain then by all means demonstrate this by going under general anesthesia and choosing not to lose consciousness.

    This is not just a hypothesis and it is not based on observations of any particular behaviors. It is not subject to cultural or perceptual biases any more than mathematics or Mendelian genetics or planetary motion would be. Evolutionary algorithms are also not hypothetical, and one clearly applies to genes and their phenotypes (in this case behaviors) being exposed to selection.

    Particular hypotheses about what should be considered "a behavior" and whether they might be controlled by which genes in which ways, are what would be exposed to cultural biases and perceptions, etc. That doesn't invalidate the above.

    Since you seem to be arguing generalities instead of specifics of anything, I'm guessing this stuff may be a little more technical than your current knowledgebase, which is fine. I have spent an inordinate amount of time programming evolutionary algorithms for fun, as well as neural networks for fun, and I also happen to be well versed in Mendelian genetics which I've taught to thousands of people for fun. That is why this subject was so interesting to me... several things I enjoy and know quite well all converge on this topic. What an awesome bonus to find out that my nerdy pursuits and passions have turned me into a woman-hating rape-condoning homophobic sexist racist eugenicist bent on world domination.
    I also have a huge problem when this sort of intellectually dishonest thinking becomes a reason for us to sit around and say **** like "men are naturally inclined to rape."
    Now you're quote mining. I didn't say that. Face it, you're just mad at a book you disagreed with. I didn't write that book. Tell it to the authors because I don't really care what they wrote or why.
    So what you're saying is that thoughts come from brains, and you can understand deep thoughts like this because you're, like, super duper educated and stuff?

    You're still ignoring half of the equation with a hand wave of "Oh sure, culture exists but still, genes and brains, AMIRITE?"

    Which, uh... no.
  • keepingm0tivated
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    Girls are jealous and can be very catty. Hehe not like me though cause I am a cat. DUN DUN DUN.

    trolololololo