How to flirt on MFP

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Replies

  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    Sadly, the creepers I get seem to be 10 plus years older than myself, married or in a relationship, and messaging my inbox about my hair/eyes/pics (insert random compliment about my physical self here). When you call them on their ****, they backpeddle and say "I didn't mean it that way..jeez, can't you take a compliment?". Make no mistake boys. We know there is an agenda behind those "compliments". If you want to flirt, be direct. Just ask "are you single" or something like that. Oh, and a note to the attached men. It is never appropriate to send random women online random compliments about their body and expect us to think it's "JUST A COMPLIMENT" come on now. Would your wife/gf be OK with you sending random compliments about some strange girls *kitten* online? How would YOu feel if she was doing the same to random guys online. Would you think it's "and innocent compliment"?

    Hey. If she's jealous, she can get her own girlfriend.
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
    offer to help them in finding a low calorie, no carb, protein/vitamin E rich all day sucker. And when they get excited BAM! hit em with the junk pic!

    ^^^^ LOVE THIS!!! :laugh:

    Then I love you

    would bang...<snort>
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    I inbox them photos of my boobs from every angle so they can decide immediately if I'm worth their time.

    You got to be a little more direct Coy girl!

    Straight up vag pics. Close up, all burger.

    How YOU doin'?

    Sometimes I just send sideways extreme close ups of my dinner. They never catch on
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    simple... puppies.

    works in real life, works on the interwebz.

    1316170113_Husky-puppies-sleeping-on-a-table.jpg
  • teamdj1
    teamdj1 Posts: 265 Member
    ♥~√v”^√~√v^√v’^~√♥ anyone wanna go on a virtual walk on the beach? :flowerforyou:
  • av8artist
    av8artist Posts: 46
    what ever happen to that old stand-by "What are you wearing right now".
  • zombilishious
    zombilishious Posts: 1,250 Member
    Here's the surefire ways for guys. Girls love,

    Animal lovers who have cute puppies
    IMAG0259_zpsf82a99e4.jpg

    Well dressed men
    IMAG0098_zpsae45db04.jpg

    Men not afraid to get dirty
    429775_402108906521940_657978774_n_zps7fa21464.jpg

    and Men in Kilts
    IMAG0465_zps1267e683.jpg


    As you read this there are also women reading this whilst removing their panties without even realizing it.

    your welcome
    omg! Where are my panties?!

    Check the floor by my bed hottie

    Ben's the man...show me to the bed...:tongue:
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    I just inbox them a pic of my junk and go from there. It's a great way to break the ice

    true story! This has happened to me.... sad sad lonely junk of someone who probably shouldn't be so proud to throw their junk out there to a complete stranger...

    It's like fishing, you throw your bait out there in the lake, and see which fish come by for a nibble. You probably won't see a lot of response, so you just sit back and drink beer. Eventually, you wil lcome across someone desperate enough to take the hook.

    And then what? Take em home & mount them on your wall?

    Nope. Duct tape to the water heater. Have you never followed my posts?

    ONS
  • twelfty
    twelfty Posts: 576 Member
    what ever happen to that old stand-by "What are you wearing right now".

    people just assume it's nothing
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
    "hey gurl, you look good for 99, what are you wearing?"

    or junk pics...

    :noway:

    Julie, you look good for 29........

    :flowerforyou:

    Would definately bang!! muwah!
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    Men, how about simply be a gentleman to the ladies? Truthfully, what ever happened to treating them with respect, dignity, and conducting yourself in a chivalrous manner? Just saying?

    I wish I knew how to paste .gif's in here cuz I'd put one of someone laughing hysterically right here.

    For now, this is the best I can do...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    this guy's got game lol

    mmmmmmmmmmmmother of god you have a sexy body.... how did i do?!

    Never reference God. How do you know she's not atheist?

    i follow it up with a line like i don't even believe in god but you just changed my mind ;)
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  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
    simple... puppies.

    works in real life, works on the interwebz.

    1316170113_Husky-puppies-sleeping-on-a-table.jpg

    This does not always work. Not every woman is an animal lover. I like animals well enough, but crazy pet people are a little, well..crazy! I notice that people with lot of pets often don't have many human friends and that is worriesome..

    puppies work on me...
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  • luckymonkey1966
    luckymonkey1966 Posts: 7
    MY GOD how do dead puppies get the ladies hot ... seek counseling friend.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    Oh lawd!
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  • luckymonkey1966
    luckymonkey1966 Posts: 7
    Sadly, the creepers I get seem to be 10 plus years older than myself, married or in a relationship, and messaging my inbox about my hair/eyes/pics (insert random compliment about my physical self here). When you call them on their ****, they backpeddle and say "I didn't mean it that way..jeez, can't you take a compliment?". Make no mistake boys. We know there is an agenda behind those "compliments". If you want to flirt, be direct. Just ask "are you single" or something like that. Oh, and a note to the attached men. It is never appropriate to send random women online random compliments about their body and expect us to think it's "JUST A COMPLIMENT" come on now. Would your wife/gf be OK with you sending random compliments about some strange girls *kitten* online? How would YOu feel if she was doing the same to random guys online. Would you think it's "and innocent compliment"?
    WOW! angry much? I do like your pics tho they make me want to "lope the mule" and yes my wife is ok with me saying so because she wants to "flip your burger" so what would your bitter tirade look like to swingers that just want to have some fun without the stick in the muds?

    I am far from a stick in the mud. If you and your wife are swingers and are interested, how about messaging something like "My wife and I think you're very hot/pretty/sexy and were wondering if you participate in those sort of thing?" I would NOT be offended by this, and would probably reply "Flattered, but that's not my thing, good luck to you though"!

    No, what gets me is the sneaky ones, who try to pretend it's innocent when you know it's not.
    Oh, you've been hurt. I see the pain in your responses. We've all been there. no offense, I'm not your enemy and I wish you eventual healing and happiness.
  • av8artist
    av8artist Posts: 46
    As far as giving women random compliments:

    1) I am married
    2) I love my wife (25 years in September)
    3) I love women
    4) As an artist/photographer... most look better clothed
    5) As a photographer, I love photographs... which may induce me to fire off a compliment.
    6) I have never and will never send a suggestive photo of anything attached to my body, to anyone, not even a sext to my wife.
    7) I do like to flirt, and try not to express anything misleading.
    8) My wife DOES understand me :-)
  • Erin_goBrahScience
    Erin_goBrahScience Posts: 1,215 Member
    tumblr_me5v2hRi0M1qdtnjx.gif

    I'm a terrible flirt...and not terrible as in I do it all it time...terrible as in I suck
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  • GuybrushThreepw00d
    GuybrushThreepw00d Posts: 784 Member
    When you call them on their ****, they backpeddle and say "I didn't mean it that way..jeez, can't you take a compliment?". Make no mistake boys. We know there is an agenda behind those "compliments"

    Women need food,water and compliments. FACT.
  • cschiff
    cschiff Posts: 209 Member
    You only need to know 4 phrases:

    "9" (or 10)

    "ONS"

    "Hot"

    "How YOU Doin'?"


    "How YOY doin?" like Matt LeBlanc in Friends? Hahah FAVORITE SHOW !
  • cschiff
    cschiff Posts: 209 Member
    You only need to know 4 phrases:

    "9" (or 10)

    "ONS"

    "Hot"

    "How YOU Doin'?"


    "How YOY doin?" like Matt LeBlanc in Friends? Hahah FAVORITE SHOW !


    I wish I had spelled "YOU" correctly!! Hahah gosh I think I need more coffee..... :)
  • mattagascar
    mattagascar Posts: 708 Member
    You pretty much say everything that 99% of people would never say in real life. I love being a 1 percenter.
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  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    my favorite pick up line

    Handmade-Handkerchief-81.jpg

    does this smell like chloroform?
  • luckymonkey1966
    luckymonkey1966 Posts: 7
    Sadly, the creepers I get seem to be 10 plus years older than myself, married or in a relationship, and messaging my inbox about my hair/eyes/pics (insert random compliment about my physical self here). When you call them on their ****, they backpeddle and say "I didn't mean it that way..jeez, can't you take a compliment?". Make no mistake boys. We know there is an agenda behind those "compliments". If you want to flirt, be direct. Just ask "are you single" or something like that. Oh, and a note to the attached men. It is never appropriate to send random women online random compliments about their body and expect us to think it's "JUST A COMPLIMENT" come on now. Would your wife/gf be OK with you sending random compliments about some strange girls *kitten* online? How would YOu feel if she was doing the same to random guys online. Would you think it's "and innocent compliment"?
    WOW! angry much? I do like your pics tho they make me want to "lope the mule" and yes my wife is ok with me saying so because she wants to "flip your burger" so what would your bitter tirade look like to swingers that just want to have some fun without the stick in the muds?

    I am far from a stick in the mud. If you and your wife are swingers and are interested, how about messaging something like "My wife and I think you're very hot/pretty/sexy and were wondering if you participate in those sort of thing?" I would NOT be offended by this, and would probably reply "Flattered, but that's not my thing, good luck to you though"!

    No, what gets me is the sneaky ones, who try to pretend it's innocent when you know it's not.
    Oh, you've been hurt. I see the pain in your responses. We've all been there. no offense, I'm not your enemy and I wish you eventual healing and happiness.

    OH heck we've all been "hurt". No, my comments stem from frustration and intolerance..haha! Sick of my inbox being bombarded with assinine comments from men my dad/grandpa's age hoping to get some stroke material on the side. That's what porn is for.
    lol@ stroke material.. I try to veil my masturbatory references with thin metaphors like "getting a dishonorable discharge" "rolling the midnight dice" "loping the mule" "punching the clown" "slappin the soldier" etc. I'll remember when I massage .... err ... I mean messege you to be more coy in my whittling of you down. ;))
  • soldier4242
    soldier4242 Posts: 1,368 Member
    I just inbox them a pic of my junk and go from there. It's a great way to break the ice

    Yeah you really need to stop sending me those.
  • jcmartin0313
    jcmartin0313 Posts: 574 Member
    tumblr_me5v2hRi0M1qdtnjx.gif

    I'm a terrible flirt...and not terrible as in I do it all it time...terrible as in I suck

    The fact that you as you say "suck" makes you a pro at flirting!

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