Can't BELIEVE this guy said this about a size 8 / Medium!
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isn't 8 a large though?0
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It got me thinking... If I were her what would I have done or said to him? In hindsight she said she wished she had said "Our company is all about encouraging people to live a happy, healthy life. Your comment is disrespectful towards women. A size 8 is a perfectly healthy size and I am very offended by your comment. You can either apologize to me as a size 8 woman, or leave my store immediately."
I was with you up to this point: If the *kitten* bought something then, you won because you took his money. I can't imagine being his girlfriend though. Good Lord. As far as this being a feminist issue...come on....so many more important things to worry about than one individual's clearly ignorant commentary. Who cares what he thinks? Not me---especially if I was taking his money!0 -
No, I don't consider a size 8 a large, lol0
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I laughed. My papaw.always said he'd divorce my memaw if she ever got over 120lbs. She was 95 when they got married. Now? Shes well over 120lbs, and theyve stayed together. even if ita just because they dont enjoy irritating other peopke.
my fiance said hed leave if i ever got fat, and i told him ill leave if i ever bench press more than him.
neither one of us dares risk it
Lighten up
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some people are just *kitten*0
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Ok.
A lot of people have made comments like "Wow! His poor girlfriend!" Or "No wonder he's not married" etc. etc. and are using this comment to form an immediate opinion about his relationship with his girlfriend and no one seems to have a problem with that.
So the guy has a preference on what he likes and finds attractive. So he cracked a joke that went over like a wet fart in church. Why does any of that correlate to his relationship and why are we automatically assuming that it's bad, that we need to feel sorry for his GF because of his comment? No one knows him and again, assumptions are being based off of this one comment.
My husband and I have told each other that if either one of us gets fat, no effort is made to lose the weight and the attraction is gone and wants to leave then go. I'm perfectly fine with that. Our relationship is solid and our 'pact' has no bearing on the way he treats me and vice versa.0 -
It got me thinking... If I were her what would I have done or said to him? In hindsight she said she wished she had said "Our company is all about encouraging people to live a happy, healthy life. Your comment is disrespectful towards women. A size 8 is a perfectly healthy size and I am very offended by your comment. You can either apologize to me as a size 8 woman, or leave my store immediately."
Yeah, your friend probably shouldn't work in customer service without having thicker skin.
I disagree with your completely about having a thicker skin to work in customer service industry. My entire working career had been in customer service and if this guy intentionally insulted this employee she has the right to ask him to leave the store as no one has the right to belittle or degrade anyone for any reason. On the other hand, I am sure if he knew this woman was a size 8 he would have been embarrassed...most men have no clue as to women sizes so saying what he did was just his ignorance.
I on the other hand would have totally been pissed, I have never been an 8 even when I was 120 lbs, so to consider an 8 medium sized is nuts unless you are in China or somewhere where the majority of people are petite and the largest sizes are a 10 or 12.0 -
isn't 8 a large though?
It is a medium in my store, if you read the original post. My co-worker told him that a 4 is an extra-small and 6 is small.0 -
The guy made a joke.
Not a big deal.
And if he does prefer smaller women, who cares?0 -
This is why I couldn't work in customer service. I would have laughed and responded 'yes, right along with those with thinning hair'.
Even if it wasn't thinning a quick glance to his hairline would have given him something to think about.
It may be immature but I am from the school of 'you started it'.0 -
Whew! NOW I know why I'm divorced!
I was so confused allllll these years.0 -
As the creator of the ManCandy thread I have to chime in- fun to look at, not what I base my relationship/partner selections on. I've dated all types- none of whom were based on looks/body. I could show you the pics to prove it. :-)
ETA: NOOONE of them were wealthy. Apparently, I'm a moron.
Not a moron, thats how all ladies should be IMO
The superficial one (like the guy this post is about) give the rest of us a bad name0 -
The guy made a joke.
Not a big deal.
And if he does prefer smaller women, who cares?
Yep0 -
LOL Really? Just be thankful that you are not with the douche bag. His poor partner! :laugh:0
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1342630/My-husband-says-hell-divorce-I-fat.html
This woman is clearly mentally deranged (I spent an afternoon reading her other articles, not just this one.) This discussion reminded me of this.
I'm surprised at the amount of people who don't seem to understand that a vague situation stuck in the OP's mind, and she wanted to open up a discussion about it. I'm also surprised at the amount of women who think that "some people prefer petite women," so this way of thinking is okay. Of course everyone has a certain body type they are attracted to - some men like petite women, some like athletic girls, some like chubby girls, some even like obese girls. The problem comes when men FETISHIZE a woman's body, and think of it as a status symbol like a nice car or expensive suit. Having a thin or small girlfriend does not reflect on YOU as a man, it reflects on HER as a woman. There is something very abnormal with a man who is excessively controlling about a woman's weight, and it can be a tool to continue an abusive or domineering relationship.
I suspect a lot of the backlash from this post comes from an oversensetivity by thin or fit women from the "real women have curves" camp. I totally understand and agree that body shaming is wrong in all forms. But you have to understand that larger women are overzealous about this particular topic because society as a whole swings the other way. It's like a white person complaining about racism - it's bad when it happens, but it's generally minor when compared with racism against minorities.
I've noticed that most men, even extremely not sexist men like my husband or brother, get super defensive when talking about misogyny. Nobody is saying that YOU are sexist. But think about this: when you picture your ideal future, and you imagine who you'll be with in that future, are you picturing a body, or a person? Because I can tell you, most women are picturing a person. That's the reason there are about 5 female celebrities for every 100 male celebrities who don't conform to standard beauty ideals. And that, my friends, is misogyny. The fact that more important than female athlete's abilities, or female singer's voices, or female politician's ideas, are her hair, clothes, and figure is misogynist. The fact that a man felt completely okay stating that he would "divorce" his future wife if she gained an arbitrary size - to a complete stranger - is misogynist.
It's possible this guy was just making a joke (even though the OP suggests that he was not.) It's even more possible that this guy was just a jerk. But until we start identifying misogynist societal trends, we will never progress past this point. Sorry to get on a rant, but I feel like a lot of people were sort of missing the point of this thread.0 -
This is why I couldn't work in customer service. I would have laughed and responded 'yes, right along with those with thinning hair'.
Even if it wasn't thinning a quick glance to his hairline would have given him something to think about.
It may be immature but I am from the school of 'you started it'.
This.....
As to the rest of the thread......I still think he was joking. I wasn't there and don't know him obviously but I have to think it was a joke
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IGNORE. He was obviously a jerk and doesn't not deserve extra thought. Plus men don't really understand women's sizing. I'm a size 2-4 but my husband finds women my size or larger attractive. But he doesn't really understand sizing because he finds a girl about size 8 attractive but when I tell him she's a size 8 he is shocked of "how large" that is. That is because he is used to me ordering size 2 most of the time. In reality size 2 and size 8 is not that different as what people make it out to be.0
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I understand but this should state both men AND women because I see women posting pictures of guys with huge *kitten* muscles and hot bodies on facebook all the time and it kind of grosses me out but whatever, it's their life! If a person is willing to put up with a douche bag that puts a weight requirement on her than that is her problem,ya know?http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1342630/My-husband-says-hell-divorce-I-fat.html
This woman is clearly mentally deranged (I spent an afternoon reading her other articles, not just this one.) This discussion reminded me of this.
I'm surprised at the amount of people who don't seem to understand that a vague situation stuck in the OP's mind, and she wanted to open up a discussion about it. I'm also surprised at the amount of women who think that "some people prefer petite women," so this way of thinking is okay. Of course everyone has a certain body type they are attracted to - some men like petite women, some like athletic girls, some like chubby girls, some even like obese girls. The problem comes when men FETISHIZE a woman's body, and think of it as a status symbol like a nice car or expensive suit. Having a thin or small girlfriend does not reflect on YOU as a man, it reflects on HER as a woman. There is something very abnormal with a man who is excessively controlling about a woman's weight, and it can be a tool to continue an abusive or domineering relationship.
I suspect a lot of the backlash from this post comes from an oversensetivity by thin or fit women from the "real women have curves" camp. I totally understand and agree that body shaming is wrong in all forms. But you have to understand that larger women are overzealous about this particular topic because society as a whole swings the other way. It's like a white person complaining about racism - it's bad when it happens, but it's generally minor when compared with racism against minorities.
I've noticed that most men, even extremely not sexist men like my husband or brother, get super defensive when talking about misogyny. Nobody is saying that YOU are sexist. But think about this: when you picture your ideal future, and you imagine who you'll be with in that future, are you picturing a body, or a person? Because I can tell you, most women are picturing a person. That's the reason there are about 5 female celebrities for every 100 male celebrities who don't conform to standard beauty ideals. And that, my friends, is misogyny. The fact that more important than female athlete's abilities, or female singer's voices, or female politician's ideas, are her hair, clothes, and figure is misogynist. The fact that a man felt completely okay stating that he would "divorce" his future wife if she gained an arbitrary size - to a complete stranger - is misogynist.
It's possible this guy was just making a joke (even though the OP suggests that he was not.) It's even more possible that this guy was just a jerk. But until we start identifying misogynist societal trends, we will never progress past this point. Sorry to get on a rant, but I feel like a lot of people were sort of missing the point of this thread.0 -
madam,http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1342630/My-husband-says-hell-divorce-I-fat.html
This woman is clearly mentally deranged (I spent an afternoon reading her other articles, not just this one.) This discussion reminded me of this.
I'm surprised at the amount of people who don't seem to understand that a vague situation stuck in the OP's mind, and she wanted to open up a discussion about it. I'm also surprised at the amount of women who think that "some people prefer petite women," so this way of thinking is okay. Of course everyone has a certain body type they are attracted to - some men like petite women, some like athletic girls, some like chubby girls, some even like obese girls. The problem comes when men FETISHIZE a woman's body, and think of it as a status symbol like a nice car or expensive suit. Having a thin or small girlfriend does not reflect on YOU as a man, it reflects on HER as a woman. There is something very abnormal with a man who is excessively controlling about a woman's weight, and it can be a tool to continue an abusive or domineering relationship.
I suspect a lot of the backlash from this post comes from an oversensetivity by thin or fit women from the "real women have curves" camp. I totally understand and agree that body shaming is wrong in all forms. But you have to understand that larger women are overzealous about this particular topic because society as a whole swings the other way. It's like a white person complaining about racism - it's bad when it happens, but it's generally minor when compared with racism against minorities.
I've noticed that most men, even extremely not sexist men like my husband or brother, get super defensive when talking about misogyny. Nobody is saying that YOU are sexist. But think about this: when you picture your ideal future, and you imagine who you'll be with in that future, are you picturing a body, or a person? Because I can tell you, most women are picturing a person. That's the reason there are about 5 female celebrities for every 100 male celebrities who don't conform to standard beauty ideals. And that, my friends, is misogyny. The fact that more important than female athlete's abilities, or female singer's voices, or female politician's ideas, are her hair, clothes, and figure is misogynist. The fact that a man felt completely okay stating that he would "divorce" his future wife if she gained an arbitrary size - to a complete stranger - is misogynist.
It's possible this guy was just making a joke (even though the OP suggests that he was not.) It's even more possible that this guy was just a jerk. But until we start identifying misogynist societal trends, we will never progress past this point. Sorry to get on a rant, but I feel like a lot of people were sort of missing the point of this thread.
you are analytical and clear sighted, thanks for a sane response.:drinker:0 -
Reading that article made me sick. A big difference in my thinking from the lady who wrote is that I'm fitter, thiinner and happier than I've ever been and that's thanks to ME.0 -
I'm a size 8 and I would have rolled my eyes at him and laughed. I would have been laughing at the fact that he is an idiot but he would have thought I just got the joke. :laugh:0
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I think he was trying to be funny! My husband has a way of joking about things some people get offended over. I was looking for a measuring tape to get my measurements and asked a girl where to find one. She told me and then said that they had one that was 56" long. My husband said "I don't think that's big enough." I laughed and hit his shoulder but even with both of us laughing the salesperson looked furious. I couldn't help thinking she had no sense of humor and got offended way too easy!0
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I have debated putting my two cents in on this topic, since the thread is still going, I have decided apparently that I will.
I am a size 4/6. I was a size 0 when I met my husband. Three months ago, he told me "lose the weight or I'm moving out". So many folks hear a statement like that, and trumpet "Get rid of him, he's a jerk". Well, yes, he is. But, in his mind, I have not upheld my end of our "contract" of marriage. He married me because he loves me, yes. But he also married me because he physically desired me. And to him, my weight gain is my way of telling him I don't love him enough to care if he's attracted to me or not. My gain of weight is equated with a loss of love, and he doesn't want to be with someone who doesn't love him.
What boggles my mind when reading some of these responses on this post, are all the women who are appalled that a size 8 would constitute a divorce- when I'm guessing a lot of the same posters would tell someone in a more exaggerated situation that they are justified in wanting to leave. I have seen posts on here where someone will lament "My spouse has gained over 100 pounds, I don't find them attractive anymore, I don't know if I should stay"- followed by responses such as "They are so unhealthy, they obviously do not care about themselves or you, you should leave". An extreme amount of weight is considered repulsive to many and a justifiable reason to leave, but my extra 20 pounds is something my husband needs to just get over and stop being so shallow about. But my extra 20 pounds is just as repulsive to my husband as hundreds of extra pounds are too many (I know, because he's called me repulsive on many occasions). I'm not excusing the fat-shaming and verbal abuse my husband puts me through- he needs to grow up and learn how to communicate like a grown man instead of lashing out like a spoiled toddler- but it doesn't mean I don't try to see things from his perspective. It's taken me some time and reflection to reach a place where I can still see the purpose in trying to save my marriage, but I will admit, it's been a struggle. The fact that he has it in him to be so verbally abusive is far more of an issue to me than the fact that he wants me to lose weight. If this marriage ends, it will be for that reason, no matter what size I am at that point.0 -
Good luck to you with your marriage. Deciding whether to fight for one or end it is a very hard decision to make.The fact that he has it in him to be so verbally abusive is far more of an issue to me than the fact that he wants me to lose weight. If this marriage ends, it will be for that reason, no matter what size I am at that point.
I would (personally) never advise someone to leave their spouse because of their weight, but I think a lot of times "weight" may be the easiest way to describe the problem.
I met my ex-husband when I weighed maybe 170. I think the day our divorce was final I weighed 280. Never once during our marriage did he say anything disparaging about my weight, but he knew that it bothered ME to the point where I didn't want to get intimate, and THAT bothered him. I was also suffering from depression (originally diagnosed at 16; it's been a life-long thing) and the meds didn't help with weight OR sex drive.
So the real, basic reason we got divorced was my depression, but I could easily see someone who didn't think about it too deeply thinking it was because of weight.0 -
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You also have a solid reputation in the single peeps group for being a 'jerk' to put it mildly.
Not a personal attack, just an observation.0 -
OMG so many pages on this thread no time to read! Just wanted so chime in and say that man was kinda funny to me. That made me giggle. Maybe I have a thick skin or something but that's not even a thing to me. I mean my husband recently misjudged my weight by a lot, underestimating. Men don't always know that kind of stuff and he might have just been repeating a joke he'd heard or something. Probably didn't even know your co-worker wore that size.
I actually am pretty glad your co-worker didn't say anything because I think jobs like that means putting up with crap, I did it when I worked as a hostess in 5 star places, it's YOUR job to act professional not theirs. It's their job to get what they want or have a good time depending where they are at. Your co-worker might have gotten herself fired. I feel I should say this as a service to anyone reading who has that kind of job because as a co-worker, manager, or customer I would have found that way out of line and punishable by firing or scheduling less shifts if stuck with the employee. Just want to let you know this mentality is out there, and you gotta be careful how you treat paying customers. Further, if I would have heard that conversation as a customer between you two workers after he left, I would wonder if they would talk about me when I left and would have taken my money elsewhere. Maybe even going so far if stopped or invited to shop more on the way out, to state why and at that point, I'm talking to a manager about it. That's just me. If I'm spending good money in your store, don't criticize me, rain on my parade, talk about me after I'm gone, etc. Just sell me the stuff and get out of my way. The end.
ETA: the title states you cannot believe he said that about a certain size. I certainly hope that does not mean it would have been okay if he'd said it about another size? get me? if you're offended about it at a size 8 you should be equally up in arms if he says it about a size 18. He really shouldn't be saying it about anyone but his comedic timing is seriously gonna win out for me no matter where the size guessing started. lol. it was just a joke. he was just trying to stop the co-worker from describing every piece of clothing in the store probably. men hate to shop in my experience.0 -
I suppose I am way off topic and not responding to the actual post. I'm just confused and trying to understand. Are the clothing sizes in UK sizes? Or is this in North America and the sizes are all made smaller? Or are they just applying extra small, small, and medium to a different set of sizes?
Usually (in North America) I thought that:
00 is extra extra small
0 is extra small
2 is small
And after that are more small and mediums in the 4 to 8 range.
I'm just saying this because I am often in the extra extra small (00) sizes. Also, just want to add that being small framed is normal and healthy for some people.
But, I agree with you that the size of clothing does not reflect on a person's health, fitness or attractiveness. Because that varies from person to person due to many many different reasons. Size 8 is an excellent size to be (as are larger sizes than that as well). And my husband would never say anything like that.0 -
We need to keep it in perspective ... women can be notorious for showing disrespect toward our men. I don't think we should be so shocked because we're all capable of dishing out garbage. i'm grateful and it helps me when others are gracious if I say something stupid!0
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And to him, my weight gain is my way of telling him I don't love him enough to care if he's attracted to me or not. My gain of weight is equated with a loss of love, and he doesn't want to be with someone who doesn't love him.
What boggles my mind when reading some of these responses on this post, are all the women who are appalled that a size 8 would constitute a divorce- when I'm guessing a lot of the same posters would tell someone in a more exaggerated situation that they are justified in wanting to leave. I have seen posts on here where someone will lament "My spouse has gained over 100 pounds, I don't find them attractive anymore, I don't know if I should stay"- followed by responses such as "They are so unhealthy, they obviously do not care about themselves or you, you should leave". An extreme amount of weight is considered repulsive to many and a justifiable reason to leave, but my extra 20 pounds is something my husband needs to just get over and stop being so shallow about. But my extra 20 pounds is just as repulsive to my husband as hundreds of extra pounds are too many (I know, because he's called me repulsive on many occasions).
I'm not going to comment on my feelings on leaving a spouse over 100 extra lbs. I am going to say that one reason people are so concerned over an extra 20 is that it suggests a rigidness that is incompatible with normal life. A 4-6 is still a very healthy, smallish size. It's nice that your husband is attracted to very tiny women, but people are appalled that he would leave you over a 4-6 because it's an extremely high and unreasonable standard to hold you to. It would be akin to you leaving him over working out a little less intensely at the gym and not being able to lift quite as much, but still a healthy, impressive amount. Maybe that works for your relationship. I don't know. But if you put it out there, people are going to react to such rigid standards in a relationship.0
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