Stabbing yourself in the eye?

Actually stabbing yourself with a fork is painful and then there's those expensive doctor's bills...plus Dr. Oz has never mentioned it on his show.

Really, I though this would be right up his street?


Have you tried it? How do you know it is painful? I only want to hear from people who have done it REMEMBER!

Dr. Oz is a quack. I read somewhere that Jillian Michaels supports eye stabbing, though.

He is not a quack - he gives extremely good advice and has helped millions loose weight. I like Jillian though, doing 30 day shred with 5lb weights have really built up my muscles - though I am worried I'm getting bulky.

If you stab both eyes you won't see that your'e bulky so....

I read a study once where it said that stabbing yourself in the eye with a fork makes no sense at all, becaus the cavemen didn't have forks. You need to use a stick from a tree. But it has to be from a tree that grows in the land where your ancestors are from. And don't forget to log it.

This absolutely. Natural is the only way to go or else you are not going to get the best results. Putting artificial stuff like a metal for in your eye is just wrong.

Should it be a fork made from wood?

No no no! No forks at all. Nobody should ever use a fork. I can't believe how many people there are out there who still think it's OK to use a fork. The human body isn't designed to use a fork, it's just unnatural. And besides, forks are designed for baby cows. Are you a baby cow? No. So don't use a fork. Also, diabetes.

I don;t believe you unless you incorrectly quote a study that actually disproves your point.

I don't need to quote a study. I read it on the internet. So I know it's true. Everybody says so.

I stabbed myself in the eye and accidentally ate my own eye ball causing me to go over my 1000 calorie a day limit. I gained 3 pounds.

You should of done a cleanse. Everyone knows you should Cleanse immediately after an eyeball stabbing. you're Body just can't handle the Toxins.

Should I be taking raspberry keytones and only drinking lemon juice to kill the cancer cells?

I think you want the Ultimate Reset. I'm sure a certain Coach can hook you up.

I stabbed myself in the eye and accidentally ate my own eye ball causing me to go over my 1000 calorie a day limit. I gained 3 pounds.

You should of done a cleanse. Everyone knows you should Cleanse immediately after an eyeball stabbing. you're Body just can't handle the Toxins.

Should I be taking raspberry keytones and only drinking lemon juice to kill the cancer cells?

I think you want the Ultimate Reset. I'm sure a certain Coach can hook you up.

I've got some belly button fluff that will help boost your fibre levels and scuff out your insides for a full detox... I'll send you my PayPal details so you can send me the money. Results guaranteed!

I read a study once where it said that stabbing yourself in the eye with a fork makes no sense at all, becaus the cavemen didn't have forks. You need to use a stick from a tree. But it has to be from a tree that grows in the land where your ancestors are from. And don't forget to log it.

This absolutely. Natural is the only way to go or else you are not going to get the best results. Putting artificial stuff like a metal for in your eye is just wrong.

Should it be a fork made from wood?

No, it has to be natural, wooden forks are too processed. The best thing to use is a tree branch that is freshly ripped off, green and still has tree bugs on it.

Tree bugs? How do I calculate the protein in them - the MFP database is rubbish and doesn't have them in? You would think those people at MFP would get something like this right!

Do I need to weigh them?

Yes. Also, bugs are wonderful sources of protein.

but doesn't protein turn straight to fat if you eat it on its own?

only if it's in a protein shake. You should be fine with eating the whole bug.

You can't expect me to be supportive of your unhealthy, dangerous plan. This website has the word "Fitness" in the title! Please speak with your doctor before making such drastic decisions.

then why did you even bother to post on this thread - I only want support of my stupid and idiotic plan. How is that hard to understand.

Because even though we never have and probably never will meet, what you choose to do with your eyeballs is totally my business. Also, you probably CAN live your life just fine after taking a fork to the eye, but why would you WANT to??

it's not your business - its not like this is a public forum or anything.

Fine - you're going to do whatever, but we'll see you back here after you don't get the results you wanted and then we'll be ready to help you after you learn that there's no such thing as "magic forks"

but you're only going to get the results you want if it's a HEAVY fork